I knew Changsun had been looking for me for the past few days. But I didn't meet him. I had a lot of things to think about. I couldn't face those innocent eyes at the moment.

I sat on my favourite bamboo bench one afternoon. Strangely, I couldn't smell the lily scent this time. Have they withered? Or did I change? Have the bees forgotten the beautiful flower scent and turned to the unreachable golden sun instead? I stared at the white lilies in front of me.

A sudden loud thud caught my attention. I turned and saw Changsun standing in front of me. He must have jumped over the wall.

I was confused because our walls were known to be the highest in the neighbourhood. How on earth did he do that?

He brushed off the dust on his shirt and walked towards me, "Why didn't you come out and see me in the past few days?"

"I..." I couldn?t lie looking into those clear eyes.

"Why are you avoiding me? Did I make a mistake?" his eyes filled with hurt.

I've done the one thing I never wanted.

"I don't want..." I whispered. But I couldn't finish my sentence.

He grabbed my hand. "Come with me."

"Where are we going?" He pushed me onto his bike and rode off without saying another word.

 

Changsun led me into a hospital. There was a young girl wearing a patient's gown, sitting quietly on a bench in the hospital garden.

"Soojung..." he surprised her although he was almost whispering. She turned and faced him. Her face brightened. But her pupils in what could have been big and round beautiful eyes were grey and dull.

"Oppa, you're here!"

"Yup! I brought a friend"

"Friend?" she turned away suspiciously. My heart burned as I looked at her dull eyes. She could have been such a lively and beautiful girl, away from this dull hospital, living a colourful life.

"Hello. My name is Hyuna." I said, hoping I didn't sound too sad.

She followed my voice and faced me with the brightest smile, just like her brother, "Hi! I'm Soojung."

"You girls continue talking. I'll go buy some drinks." Changsun nodded at me and left us alone.

"Unnie, please sit." She gestured at the empty space next to her. She looked so excited.

"You must be very pretty, Hyuna unnie."

"Why do you say so?"

She was very likeable. She would be a perfect girl if it weren't for her misfortune.

"Because of your voice! You have a very sweet voice. So I guess you must be very pretty too!"

"Thank you. You're a beautiful girl too, Soojung." I said sincerely.

"Really? I don't know. I haven't seen myself for five years." Her voice slowly faded away.

I didn't know how to comfort her. Her face suddenly lit up again. "But it's okay. Oppa said I'll be able to see myself again next month, and oppa too! I can't wait!"

My heart ached when I saw her smile. I bit my lips and didn't say anything.

"I really wanna say thank you to that unnie who agreed to donate her cornea to me. Oppa said she is the kindest person ever! He told me to remember her forever. I don't need him to remind me about that. Do I look ungrateful?" she pouted and wriggled her nose. "I hope I'll see you too unnie!"

"Me?" her sudden words baffled me.

"Yeah! I think you're a very pretty girl. And oppa has never brought anyone to visit me. You must be a very special person to him!"

So this was why Changsun brought me here to meet Soojung.

"Once you're able to see, you'll be the prettiest girl ever! Never take anything for granted!"

"I will, Hyuna unnie. Make sure you come visit me then!"

I smiled, "What is your favourite flower?"

"Mmm... when I could still see, I loved roses the most, beautiful and fragrant. What about you, unnie?"

"I love lilies, white and pure as the sky."

I looked out into the garden. How I wished there was a huge patch of lilies just then.

"Like angels? That must be beautiful." Soojung quietened down, deep in her own thoughts. "Okay." She broke the silence. "I think I like lilies now."

I giggled at her innocence. I her hair lightly.

"Drinks are here!" Changsun appeared, handing out can drinks to us.

 

We headed home after Soojung had fallen asleep.

"Soojung really likes you." Changsun said. I didn't respond. "I hope you?ll like her too."

"She's very cute."

"What about me?" he suddenly asked.

"You're cute too." I said simply.

He was disappointed. "Guys hate to be called cute. It sounds childish."

I kept quiet. He sighed. "I brought you here to meet Soojung because I want you to know that you now have another dongsaeng even if you lose your unnie. Of course, they're not the same. But at least you won't be too sad about it."

My footsteps slowed down. It wasn't just the reason Soojung mentioned...

"What do you want me to do? Why do you seem so distant all of a sudden?" he looked at me worriedly.

I looked right into his eyes and asked softly, "Do you know my English name?"

He shook his head.

"Xanthe. Do you know what that means?"

He shook his head again.

"It means blonde-haired in Greek. Blonde-haired also means to fly, did you know that? I feel like a bee, always yearning to fly wherever I want. One day, I might fly to a certain place and never come back." I looked out into the purple sun forming a picturesque sunset, as though there were lilies in the skies again.

"What do you mean? Are you flying somewhere? Is it because of your unnie's sickness?" he asked anxiously and held my hand tightly, trying to stop me from leaving.

"I don't know. Maybe I won't fly at all." My eyes were dull, just like Soojung's.

"I'll take you home."




I waited until Changsun's bike disappeared into the corner. My tears began rolling down.


 

Almost two months later, Changsun brought Soojung who was happily prancing next to him, right to my doorstep. He opened the door and found himself looking at an unfamiliar face.

"Hello. My name is Changsun. This is my sister Soojung. Kim Yoona-yang had donated her cornea to my sister. And because of her, my sister can finally see again. We?re here to thank your family, and we hope to pay our respects to Yoona-yang as well."

The girl standing at the door said with her eyes wide opened, "I'm... Yoona."

"What?" Changsun and Soojung were caught off guard.

"The one who donated her cornea to your sister was actually my dongsaeng, Hyuna."

He was stunned.

"From the start, my dongsaeng actually wanted to trick you. She wanted people to know she was a donor only after she had officially given it away. She didn?t want people to see her as a patient."

"How... How... How can that be? She looked so healthy..." he couldn?t handle the sudden news. He started muttering to himself.

"She didn't want to receive treatment. She said she wanted to leave peacefully at home. She actually went away very peacefully, she didn't suffer." she said, biting her lower lip.

"No wonder she sneezed a lot. She always looked so pale. I thought she was just naturally fair-skinned." He suddenly regretted and scolded himself for being so ignorant.

"You don't have to be too hard on yourself. My sister lied to you because she cared. She wished to be perfect in front of you all the time. She had slowly strayed away from you because she didn?t want you to be hurt. She wanted you to remember her beautiful side forever." Yoona's tears couldn't stop flowing.

Soojung had already been sobbing quietly at the side. She didn't expect the unnie who had returned her eyesight was the same pretty unnie whom she'd always wanted to see.

"I don't believe it! I don't believe it!" Changsun shouted.

"Come inside." She led them into the living room and showed her my altar. The truth finally hit him. "She left you a letter." she handed the piece of paper to him. It smelled of lilies. He opened it and saw two big words staring back at him:

I'm sorry.

Changsun couldn't hold back any longer. He broke into tears and fell to his knees. He held the letter close to his chest. "Why? Why didn't you tell me? I haven't told you how I felt! I LOVE you! Don't fly away, don't go, don't leave me!? his sobs echoed through the empty living room. A slight scent of lilies blew in.

 

Two weeks later, the grave was filled with white lilies. There was a piece of handkerchief laid near the tablet. It was the handkerchief that I had lent to Changsun months ago. He was the one who had planted the lilies by the grave.

"This way you won't fly to other flowers." He faintly smiled.

The lily scent filled the place with peace and joy, covering my loved ones. I smiled looking down from the heavens.

Soojung looked up at the skies and whispered, "Lily angel..."