Disney. the princesses with their happy ing endings. With their animated inanimate objects or animal best friends. With their joyful songs and their perfect ing princes who love them and marry them and just... the lot of them.

Sunny huffed. Rolled her eyes. Shook her head as the chorus broke out singing over the final scene where the girl gets the guy and the fairytale ending. She grabbed the remote and slammed her thumb down on the power button, entirely too forcefully. She dropped the remote onto the sofa next to her and folded her arms across her chest. She sat for a minute, glaring at the blank television, as if judging it for daring to be so bold or careless as to allow such lies to grace its screen.

She heard the sound of a key turning in the lock of her front door. She looked up just as her room mate walked in, arms loaded with a briefcase, a large travel mug and what looked to be several days' worth of post.

Sunny hadn't bothered to even try and smooth out the furrow in her brow or the frown turning down . Jessica froze, taking in the remote next to Sunny's leg. Her stance, her features. She quirked an eyebrow. "Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast?"

Sunny sniffed. Turned up her nose. "Mermaid," She mumbled, trying to force dignity into her voice.

"Right," Jessica said, struggling to keep the contents in her arms from spilling onto the floor as she wrestled her key back out of the lock. "Give me a hand and then we can spend the rest of the night watching Belle and whoever else and you can rant all you like about the lies Disney is preaching about love."

Sunny rolled her eyes but stood up all the same. "That was one time and I was drunk." She took the post and the travel mug from Jessica and headed to the kitchen.

"You had a bottle of beer and wouldn't stop crying over Shang coming back for Mulan," Jessica said, trailing Sunny into the kitchen.

"Well, it's just completely unbelievable for the time. Mulan would have been executed, no matter how many emperors she saved!" Sunny huffed, throwing the mug into the sink and dropping the post onto the counter. She started rifling through it all, sorting it into two piles. Sunny. Jessica. "I mean, China has always believed in traditional gender roles, and for a woman to do something as disgraceful as-"

Jessica was taken aback by Sunny's sudden silence. Usually once she started ranting about something, it was damn near impossible to ever get her to shut up. Jessica turned away from the sink, where she was washing the mug. Sunny was standing completely still with a cream colored envelope in her hands. Jessica frowned and stepped up next to her. The letter was addressed to Jung Sooyeon, so why did Sunny look like the entire world had just come crashing down? And then Jessica saw it.

The sender's address. Or, rather, the senders.

"!" She said, snatching the envelope all too easily from Sunny's hands. She ripped it open as she walked out of the kitchen, not even caring that it was nice, expensive ing stationary. She pulled the letter out and quickly read over it. She stopped and placed a hand on the back of the sofa, needing to steady herself. "," she muttered to herself, reading it quickly through a second time.

"Is that-" Sunny's voice cracked. She cleared and spoke again. "Is that what I think it is?"

Jessica spun around, keeping a firm grasp on the paper in her hand. Saw Sunny standing in the doorway to the kitchen. Racked her mind for a suitable lie, but knew that she'd already given away the truth with her initial response. She nodded her head and watched carefully for Sunny's reaction.

What little color that had been left in Sunny's cheeks immediately left. Her eyes grew wide and her eyebrows practically disappeared into her hair. "Oh? When's the date then?" Her voice sounded calm but panic was clear in her eyes. Even if Jessica didn't know her so well, she would have known something was wrong.

"Two months from Saturday." Jessica said as Sunny nodded.

"Is the invitation for just you?"

Jessica quickly glanced back down at the paper in her hand and quickly found the line that said ‘Jung Sooyeon and Guest'. "No…" She said carefully, her eyebrows sinking slightly at the curiosity of what Sunny was planning.

"Great!" Sunny said all too cheerily as she turned and headed back into the kitchen. "I can be your plus one, then!"

"What?" Jessica said, obviously startled. "Wait, what?" Jessica stumbled over her own feet as she followed Sunny once again into the kitchen.

"Obviously if it's for you and a guest you can't turn up alone. And who are you going to bring? Hyoyeon? She'll get drunk and ruin the whole thing. Yuri? She's not going to want to leave Yoona. So who does that leave? Me." Sunny was speaking quickly, rambling, and throwing the rest of the post pell-mell onto the piles. Not even bothering to look at whom everything was for.

"Sunny," Jessica said, dropping the invitation and its envelope onto the counter.

"It makes perfect sense, really!" Sunny said as a frantic giggle bubbled up in her chest and erupted out of .

"Sunny!" Jessica grabbed her wrists and a magazine fell from Sunny's grasp onto the floor. "You can't go."

Sunny actually looked affronted at the idea that Jessica didn't want her to go. "And why the not?"

"Because it's Taeyeon's wedding," Jessica said cautiously, releasing Sunny's wrists. "It's Taeyeon and someone who isn't you."

Jessica could see her words sinking in. Slowly. Sunny gulped and Jessica was glad to see that her eyes had lost the manic look that had overtaken them. Jessica felt her heart constrict, though, as tears welled in Sunny's eyes.

"That's why I have to go, Sica." Sunny's voice was unsteady. It looked like it was costing her so much to force the words out. "I have to see it or else… or else it isn't real. It can't be real. Taeyeon… she's mine. I'm hers." Sunny's voice broke completely, and with it so did any false attempt at remaining composed. Jessica wrapped her arms around her and Sunny's shoulders shook from the force of her sobs.

Reality is often a malleable thing. It can be pushed and twisted and bent into whatever one wants it to be. You want to see hope, or potential, so your mind forms reality into hope or potential. But the problem with that is that your mind is only looking at reality from one angle. So of course you see what you want to. But, as soon as you tilt your head, reality has an entirely different shape. And that, more often than not, is startling. It's jarring. It can tear down the beliefs you erected as a sort of barrier between your own reality and the reality of others, which can be harsh.

And so Sunny's reality changed. She had convinced herself, over the course of several years, that eventually she and Taeyeon would be together again. She believed it. Completely. She hadn't even dated anyone else, because in her mind, and in her heart, it felt like cheating on Taeyeon. On the relationship they had shared, and one day would have again. She had been waiting and she assumed that Taeyeon had been as well. But then an envelope came in the post, and Sunny tilted her head and reality took on an entirely different shape.

The next three days were spent in the flat. Jessica hadn't gone to work. Sunny did freelance pieces for magazines and newspapers on politics and sociology and didn't have a boss to call. Jessica made soup and tried to get Sunny to eat. Sunny drank almost an entire bottle of beer. Jessica held Sunny's hair. Sunny clung to the toilet seat and cried. Jessica put her to bed the first night. Sunny crawled into Jessica's bed across the hall and sobbed herself into a restless sleep. Jessica called Krystal to check up on Sunny on Monday when Jessica had to go back to work. Sunny refused to open the door, but Krystal had a key. Krystal emptied all the alcohol down the kitchen drain. Sunny shouted and broke an empty bottle before collapsing on the floor in tears. Krystal comforted her. Sunny let her. The next day Hyoyeon came over and they watched more Disney lies. Sunny cried the entire way through. The day after that Krystal brought books to read. Sunny actually got an article written and only cried twice. Krystal stayed to make dinner after Jessica came home and Hyoyeon joined them. Sunny actually ate. After that first week, people stopped coming over so often. Sunny eventually stopped crying herself to sleep.

After another week, Sunny had adjusted to her new view of reality. She wrote. She called Krystal and apologized profusely for the rather rude things she had said about the girl's relations. She called Hyoyeon and thanked her for being there with her, even if she did practically soak her favorite shirt in tears. She took Jessica and Krystal out for a nice meal at one of their favorite restaurants. She had a drink with supper, but only the one, and it wasn't very strong. She joined in the conversation and the laughter and tried to keep all thoughts of Taeyeon out of her mind. Even when Jessica got a phone call from Taeyeon and glanced nervously at her. "I'm fine, Sica, but thank you for your concern."

Sooner than Sunny was truly comfortable with, Jessica was writing a reply to RSVP.

"You've only put 'Jessica' down," Sunny said casually, looking over Jessica's shoulder as she was bent over the table.

"Um, yeah, because it's just me going," Jessica replied, carrying on as if she hadn't been interrupted.

Sunny sighed and flopped down into the chair next to her. "Look, I know you don't think it's a good idea, but I need to go. I need to, I don't know, talk to her? See it with my own eyes?"

"You can't break them up," Jessica said, frowning.

"Oh, for 's sake! I'm not going to ruin the wedding. I just need 'closure' or whatever. I'll sit through the ceremony, won't talk to anyone, and then leave before the reception." Sunny rolled her eyes at the look of disbelief still plastered across Jessica's face. "Honestly, you're acting like I'm going to try and snog Taeyeon while she's wearing a wedding dress!" Sunny's voice became unusually high as she said the words 'wedding dress' and Jessica didn't miss that manic glint that shone momentarily.

"I'll put down myself and guest, just to calm you down," Sunny scoffed but Jessica continued talking, "And then try and get Krystal and Hyo to help me get you to see sense."

"I'm already seeing sense," Sunny said as she stood up. "This is something I need to do or I'll never be able to move on." Jessica barely heard the mumbled "Since she already has" that escaped Sunny as she left the kitchen. Jessica sighed and quickly added "And Guest" to the RSVP.

Hyoyeon had been no help for Jessica. She agreed that the only way Sunny was ever going to be able to move on was to fully accept that she no longer had any claim to Taeyeon's heart. And if seeing Taeyeon in a wedding dress, making vows to someone else was the only way to do that, then so be it.

One week before the wedding, Krystal found out that Jessica and Sunny hadn't even gotten dresses yet. "I have plenty of skirts and stuff to wear," Jessica had said. "You have clothes that make you look like some sort of Goth e," Krystal countered, before insisting on taking them out shopping. "Come on, I had no say in what I have to wear as a bridesmaid, so like, the least you two can do is let me pick something nice out, yeah?"

Jessica settled on a slinky black dress. Krystal had tried to get her to go for a bit of color, but Jessica just raised an eyebrow and walked off. So Krystal focused her energy on helping Sunny pick out something.

"I don't know, Krystal. I feel like I'm about to fall out of this," Sunny said behind the closed door of the changing room.

"let me see."

A minute later the door opened and Sunny stepped out. Jessica raised an eyebrow, the corner of turning up in a smirk. Jessica's jaw actually dropped and her eyes almost bugged out of her head. "Holy ."

"Is it alright?" Sunny asked, pulling at the hem of the dress just above her knees. It was a light blue halter dress, which clung tightly to her torso but started flowing loosely just below her hips.

Jessica scoffed and let out a stunted laugh. "Is it alright? Sunny, Taeyeon will be eating her heart out when she sees you."

"That's not the point, Sica," Sunny said, glancing down at herself.

"Yeah, but it's a wicked ing bonus."

Sunny barely slept over the next few nights. She tossed and turned, filled up with such a nervous energy that she couldn't even keep her eyes closed for more than a minute before they would fly open again. Every time she saw the dress hanging on the door to her closet, she would start fidgeting and force herself to write, or clean, or do anything that would keep her mind focused and occupied by anything other than thoughts about the wedding. But eventually she would always come back to it. The thoughts always filled her with a mixture of panic and dread. What would Taeyeon's dress look like? What would she say if she ended up having to speak with her? When the minister asked for objections, would she really be able to keep quiet?

It was that thought in particular that tore Sunny up inside. She imagined jumping to her feet. Professing her love for Taeyeon. Her stupidity for ever letting her go in the first place. And Taeyeon would smile, that huge smile filled with love, and run down the aisle into Sunny's arms…

Sunny only cried herself to sleep once in the week before the wedding. It was the only night she got more than a few hours of rest.

The night before the wedding, Sunny and Jessica ordered in Chinese. They sat on the sofa with their vegetable lo mein and chopsticks and watched ty game shows on the television. "I don't think I can do it," Sunny whispered as some man answered ridiculously easy trivia questions.

Jessica frowned and muted the show. "You were practically begging to go just a few weeks ago. What's happened?"

"I just… I just don't know what I'm supposed to do. What if she's happy, Sica? Like, really ing happy?" Sunny jabbed her chopsticks into the small container and placed it on the floor by her feet.

Jessica mimicked her actions and the sofa to face her, tucking her feet under her legs. "Then she's happy. And you can be happy for her."

"I don't think I can. I still love her so much." Sunny's voice was cracking again and Jessica scooted closer to her. "I can't be alright with her being happy if she's happy with, or because, of someone else."

"If Taeyeon is happy, if she's in love, then you need to be happy for her. If you still love her as much as I think you do-"

"I love her more than you realize."

Jessica took Sunny's hands in her own. "Then you need to let her go. You need to take all your love and give it to her with your best wishes for her happiness and her future. Even if you aren't part of it."

Sunny sniffed and tried to fight back her tears. "I really don't think I can, Sica. I don't have the strength to do that kind of thing."

"I think you're selling yourself short, Sunny. Love doesn't always end up the way we want it to, but that doesn't mean we have to taint our memories of it with the bull pain of the present."

Sunny would have rolled her eyes if those words had come from anyone else. But coming from Jessica, who still bore the emotional scars from her own lost love, however faded they had become, Sunny took the words in and nodded.

The weather on the morning of the wedding couldn't have been more opposite to Sunny's mood. The sun was shining as brightly as expected for a July Saturday. There was a nice breeze that kept it from getting too hot and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. Sunny glared at her ceiling for almost half an hour after she'd woken up. Not that she'd really been asleep, but she had managed to drift off for a little bit. It took Jessica threatening to call Krystal and have her raise royal hell before Sunny finally, grudgingly, got out of bed.

Sunny's nerves fully took over when she was in the shower. She had to dash out twice to retch.

Jessica had a double shot of orange juice waiting when she walked out in just her knickers and strapless bra. "Thought you might want a little courage today."

"I could use the real kind," Sunny mumbled as she threw the shot back and continued on to her room. She quickly pulled her dress on and headed back to the bathroom to finish getting ready. Her hands were shaking so badly she could hardly pull her brush through her hair. "Jessica!" She called out, slamming the brush down onto the edge of the sink. Jessica silently entered and motioned for Sunny to sit on the edge of the tub.

"You need to relax or you'll make yourself sick," Jessica said calmly, fighting a smirk at how much she sounded like a mother berating her child as Sunny took a slow, deep breath in and exhaled just as meticulously.

It took Jessica just over half an hour to blow dry Sunny's hair and pull it back into a graceful up-do. Jessica pulled a few strands out and let them fall freely around Sunny's face. Jessica quickly did her make up. Sunny's hands were still shaking and they were both concerned she might poke her own eye out if she tried. "All done," Jessica said, popping the cap back onto Sunny's lipstick tube.

"Now what?" Sunny asked, standing up and running her palms nervously down the side of her dress.

"Now we call a taxi and head to the park."

"Right," Sunny said as she followed Jessica out into the main room. "So soon?" She went to run her fingers through her hair but stopped herself, not wanting to mess up Jessica's work.

"It's not really that soon." Jessica smirked as she picked up her phone from the sofa. "Now go find a suitable bag while I call the taxi."

They waited outside their building for the taxi. During the ride, Sunny kept glancing nervously out of the window and fidgeting with her dress. "Stop, you'll ruin it," Jessica said, slapping Sunny's hands away from the fabric. So Sunny started tapping her foot instead. She constantly pulled her phone out of her bag, flipped it open to check the time, flipped it close, and stuffed it back into her bag only to repeat the process a minute later. Jessica thought about how she should have just let Sunny drink the entire bottle of beer. She'd be easier to manage drunk, instead of this nervous, alarmingly sober person on the edge of a complete and utter breakdown.

Jessica sighed in relief as the taxi pulled off to the side of the road in front of the large wrought iron fence that made up one boundary of the park. She leaned across Sunny, who seemed to have gone comatose in fear, and opened the door. She had to quite literally shove Sunny out of the cab before she scooted across the seat. She paid the driver, threw him a couple quid for a tip, and climbed out after Sunny.

Jessica frowned as she took in the look in Sunny's eyes. Her body was standing on the sidewalk, paralyzed, but her eyes were alive. Sunny's body might not have been moving, but her mind was running. Gone. Putting as much distance between this place and itself as it could. Jessica wrapped her hand around Sunny's bare bicep and pulled. Jessica was deceptively strong, and she was almost dragging Sunny along. "About time for that courage to kick in," Jessica said as, finally, Sunny's feet started working of their own accord.

They made their way through the park, careful not to trip over any tree roots or uneven paving stones as they went, following the small white signs that had been posted intermittently directing people to the Kim-Hwang wedding. Jessica's grip had shifted from holding Sunny's arm to holding her hand, trying to be just a reassuring presence. As they rounded around a grove of trees, Sunny stopped, pulling Jessica back once their arms had reached full extension.

"What is it?" Jessica asked, stepping back to Sunny's side, never letting go of her hand.

"I…" Sunny swallowed, shook her head, opened and then closed it again, cleared , "I really don't know if I can."

"Of course you can," Jessica said, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be alright, Sunny. And as soon as you want to leave, just say so and we'll leave."

"I want to leave."

"Not quite yet, Sunny," Jessica chuckled, motioning them onward. She wasn't sure why she was encouraging Sunny to go through with this anyway. She still believed it was a bad idea. Either Sunny really would finally get the closure she had been denying herself for years, or she would completely fall apart. Jessica honestly wasn't sure which outcome to prepare for, so she'd rather they just avoided the whole situation entirely. But Sunny had made her decision, and Jessica wasn't about to let her give up and back out that easily. For better or worse, Sunny was going to watch Taeyeon get married to someone else. All she could do was be there for the aftermath.

Sunny's hand had tightened into a death grip around Jessica's. She felt like she was being led to an execution chamber and Jessica was the only hope she had for avoiding certain death. Of course, once Taeyeon vowed to love this other woman for the rest of her life, promised undying devotion, nothing else would really matter anyway. She wouldn't have a heart anymore, so death was hardly a concern for her.

Sunny's heart started pounding in her chest. As if it knew what was coming and was making one last attempt to escape from its cage. Maybe if it beat hard enough, it could break free and run away. Preserve itself from the crushing event that was about to take place. As they approached the small white chairs set up on the lawn near the park's garden, it gave one last noble strike against its cage and then gave up the fight. Sunny swallowed the lump that had formed in .

They weren't late, not really, but most of the seats had been filled already. There was a rather frazzled looking woman with a clipboard directing people to their seats. Jessica released Sunny's hand as they approached the woman.

"Kim or Hwang?" She asked briskly.

"Kim!" The word burst from Sunny's lips suddenly. Jessica and the coordinator both turned to stare at her. Sunny looked just as surprised at her outburst as they did. "Kim," She mumbled, turning her eyes away.

"Right," The woman said slowly. Jessica pulled the invitation out of her bag and showed it quickly to the woman, who pointed to the seats set up on the left side of the aisle. "Kim guests are over here. Pick any seat you like, we just ask that the first row remains strictly for family members and the bridal party."

"Thank you," Jessica said as she started heading towards the seats.

"Yeah, thanks," Sunny mumbled, quickly following after Jessica.

"You know she probably thinks I look after you," Jessica said quietly as they took their seats.

"Piss off, it wasn't that bad," Sunny whispered back, placing her bag on the grass by her feet.

"If you say so. I still don't think I should let you near any sharp objects, though."

Sunny knew what Jessica was doing, and she was grateful for the distraction. Their easy banter always helped to ease her tension. She was just about to respond when light music started playing from somewhere up front. "What? Already?" She said as everyone around them started standing up.

"Yes, now." Jessica pulled Sunny to her feet, keeping a two handed grip on her arm. Sunny started turning on the spot, frantically searching for any sign of the bridal parties. "Look," Jessica said quietly, lifting her chin off to the left. Sunny followed Jessica's gaze and felt her breath catch.

A couple was walking out of the trees. A young woman and man. Friends from University, Sunny assumed. They were followed by Krystal and her boyfriend, who wasn't so bad, Sunny thought. He was completely different from the type of man Krystal used to go, which could only be a good thing. Behind Krystal came a man Sunny instantly recognized as Taeyeon’s father. And on his arm was-

"Oh," Sunny breathed. "When did she dyed her hair black?" She asked Jessica as quietly as she could.

"Just before she met Tiffany."

Sunny meant to nod, but she wasn't sure if she actually accomplished the movement or not. Her entire being was too focused on the sight of Taeyeon hanging off her father's arm to really notice anything else.

There's this thing that happens when you see the only future you had ever considered having walking towards a completely different future of its own. The air actually gets pulled from your lungs. Your heart turns to lead and sinks deep down into your belly. And your mind, well, there isn't even a way to explain how you can have so many feelings at once, but with only one thought that connects them all so easily. So painfully.

Gone.

She fought the tears threating to overtake her for one simple reason. She needed to see Taeyeon. Needed to see her face. Her eyes and her smile. Sunny wouldn't let the last glimpse she got of Taeyeon be marred or blurred by tears. So Sunny let her eyes wander freely over Taeyeon as she passed. She took in the gorgeous white dress that flowed loosely around her legs. Sunny couldn't help but remember those legs wrapped around her own hips. She watched the muscles in Taeyeon's shoulders flex as Taeyeon gripped tighter onto her father's arm. She couldn't help but remember her own nails digging into the skin there. She saw Taeyeon's face light up, ing radiant, as her father walked Taeyeon up to the minister and the other woman in white, who couldn't look any different to Sunny if she tried. Sunny couldn't help but remember when Taeyeon used to smile like that because of her. For her. It was the smile that Taeyeon used to save just for her. And now she was giving it to someone else. This is what it feels like to die, then, Sunny thought as everyone sat down. To have your heart ripped out.

The problem with heartbreak is that even when you know it's coming, you're still never fully prepared for it. People, deep down, all harbor hope. Maybe things aren't as bad as you think. Maybe she's not as happy as everyone says. Maybe she spends nights on end just lying in bed, remembering what it used to feel like lying next to you, too. Maybe when she's ing whoever the new person in her life is, she has to bite down on her lip to stop herself from crying out your name by accident. Maybe she's just as torn up by this as you are. Maybe she still loves you, too. Maybe she wants you to show you care. To proclaim yourself. Maybe she is waiting for you, too.

Sunny had to let go of these thoughts, these hopes, one by one as Taeyeon's smile grew wider and more brilliant with each word the minister spoke.

She is as happy as you thought. Probably even happier than you ever could have imagined. You were just too blinded by your own stubbornness and heartbreak to accept that. She has moved on and she doesn't think about you anymore. At least, not in the way that your thoughts seem to constantly return to her. If she misses you, it's only because you were good friends once upon a time. You have no claim to her anymore. She certainly doesn't want or need any sort of claim to you. She isn't still waiting for you, so you need to stop waiting for her. Because she will never come back to you. She'll never come back for you, because she assumes that you aren't in the same place that you were so many years ago. And how is she supposed to know to look for you in the past, when her thoughts are so ingrained in her own future?

Sunny finally convinced herself.

So she took the pieces of her heart out of Taeyeon's hands (it was easy, Taeyeon didn't even know she was still holding them,) and she put them back in her own chest. Where they belonged now. She gathered up every last little bit of feeling she still harbored for the girl she had loved since she was twelve, and she let it go.

Her whole body sighed as she pried her hands from Jessica's. She'd been unaware just how tightly she had been clinging to her. She clapped politely along with everyone else as Taeyeon kissed her new wife, both of them smiling far too much for it to be called an actual kiss. She stood up when everyone else did as the brides walked down the aisle, hand in hand, with eyes for no one but each other.

Sunny felt an ache deep in her heart as she leaned into Jessica and whispered: "I'd like to leave now."

Jessica nodded and the two of them followed the sea of people who were headed to the large canopy set up across the park for the reception. They broke off as they reached the edge of the trees and headed back to the main road on their own. They both slipped off their heels as they stepped off the grass and onto the sidewalk. "Do you want to call a taxi back?" Jessica asked as she started digging through her small bag for her phone.

"No," Sunny said, placing a hand on Jessica's arm as a small, sad smile tugged at the corners of her lips. "It really is a beautiful day. Let's walk."

When you finally make peace with something or someone, when you finally stop holding onto the past and allow yourself to accept that foreign beast that is the future… a weight gets lifted from you. Your vision becomes a bit clearer. Your mind becomes less cluttered and your thoughts less frantic. Things start making a sort of sense that you previously didn't know they were capable of. Reality has many different faces and shades, and when you finally acknowledge that fact, it becomes easier to deal with the sudden shocks and surprises that Life can throw at you. You hurt a little less, because you understand that you're only looking at things from one angle. As soon as you turn your head, or take a step back, something else will present itself to you. And it's scary, terrifying in the way that only the unknown can be. But a new hope is born deep inside of you. A hope that maybe the unknown will turn into something that you can love and embrace with open, unburdened arms.

Taeyeon hadn't even looked at Sunny. Didn't even see her. Somehow, that hurt a lot less than Sunny had thought it would.

............