Chapter 1: Please update soon

Chapter 1: [2/2) ...but when you use them too much, it interrupts the flow of the story and alienates the reader. One of the key responsibilities of the writer is to get the reader to firmly grasp onto the story and keep them submerged in it, but sometimes using too much romanized Korean will make the reader lose their grasp of the story :/ Usually, I would just stick to Korean honorifics since those tend to be the most commonly used and even then, use them sparingly :) Also, the part where they are texting, maybe you should format them into italics or change the font to Courier, just to make it easier to read and to be able to distinguish them from the rest of the story. Just a suggestion.

Also! I wanna talk about transitions. You write one-shots really well since you keep the pace very fast and steady, but sometimes, it is possible to go too fast. For example, when the girl bucks it from the store to Chanyeol's house, it does read a little bit too fast, and I think you missed an opportunity to reveal some of the girl's inner thoughts and feelings. Same goes for the scene in which she painstakingly folds the rest of the cranes. Missed opportunity to induce some feelz by revealing his or her emotions and thoughts! By revealing their thoughts and feelings in those moments, you could have slowed the pace a bit thus making the story a more interesting reading experience and revealed some insight into the characters.

Okay... that's about all I have so far. But I hope you'll continue writing! You seem like a promising young writer :)

Chapter 1: [1/2] It's been a while since I read your stuff, haha. Welcome back, I guess :) Anyways, d'awww it's a Chanyeol x paper cranes story! Hehe, a bunch of these have been popping up ever since Chanyeol fed us that bit of inspiration. He's such a sweetheart and I felt so sad for him when he told us how the relationship ended :/

Anyways, compliments first! I'm really impressed by this because your writing is really improving so much, and it makes me happy to see how hard you've worked to get better at writing! :'D So, congratulations on your improvement! I think I'm seeing a lot of improvement in your structural organization; I must say, that was a smart move of you to cut out Chanyeol's phone conversation by having it take place "off-screen" if you know what I mean. It really helped the pace of the story and kept the focus off the girlfriend and on the main girl. A wise choice (^^) Also, I liked that you kept the girlfriend classy despite her being the most obvious antagonist of the story. It shows that you're more sophisticated in creating conflict; it adds tension to the story without stooping down to using villainous caricatures, and it gives the story an air of authenticity. Second, I actually kinda like that Chanyeol and the girl didn't end up together at the end :) I mean, I was kind of expecting it but now that I step back and look at it, it was kind of a smart move since most guys wouldn't move on from their girlfriend the NIGHT that they broke up. Plus, it would kind of taint the integrity of the girl's love for him if she confessed right away without giving him time to heal. Again, another good choice and evidence of you thinking about the story deeper :)

Some critiques: I think you should avoid using too much romanized Hangul in your stories. Sure, the idols do speak Korean and most of the Korean words you use are easily recogonizable (i.e. eonni and chingu mean "older sister" and "friend" and most fans would know that) but when you use them too much...

Chapter 1: please do make a sequel.. kekeke i like it very much... :)