“Are you ing kidding me right now? This isn’t one of those hidden camera pranks or your idea of a late April Fool’s joke, is it?”

Youngjae usually has a good temper, trained by years in the industry to hide his anger and frustration behind (insincerely) polite words and (in)genuine smiles. But this is Daehyun, his first (and only true) friend since he entered the entertainment industry all those years ago, so he doesn’t bother to hide behind that façade.

It’s probably more like he can’t, given the situation, and he mentally applauds his manager for being self-preserving enough to bring in his best friend to break the news to him.

The two of them were in the middle of their weekly dinner at their usual restaurant, just catching up with each other in their designated VIP room, when Daehyun, ever the tactful one, interrupted Youngjae’s rant about the gall of the ahjumma fan he ran into this morning, to blurt out, “Your romantic interest in your next role is going to be Kim Himchan.”

Youngjae could only drop his fork and leave his mouth agape in shock. Daehyun takes that as a sign to continue. “Jaekwon-hyung knew you really liked the role, and it’s going to be a good, career-high role, so when he found out who was playing opposite you, he decided it’d be best that we let you know later.”

And now Youngjae is waving his fork around dangerously – murderously, even – and Daehyun would rather not be collateral damage. So he calls a waiter over to pay the bill this time, even though it’s Youngjae’s turn, mutters something about needing to make a trip to the recording studio, and dashes out the door as if a nuclear bomb is about to detonate.







It all started last November.

Yoo Youngjae has been a big name in the film industry since the tender age of ten, when he made history by becoming the youngest nominee for Best Actor Award at all the prestigious film awards for his work in his very first film. He continued to make a name for himself, creating box office records, gaining critical acclaim for his films, and winning a great handful of awards – there’s even a shelf in his room dedicated to all of his accolades.

In the recent couple of years, however, Youngjae had been on a downward slope, taking on a slew of roles in films that, unfortunately enough, ended up with someone from the production team leaving halfway, or films that somehow bombed at the box office, even with him onboard as the leading actor (any formula with Yoo Youngjae was generally a guaranteed box office success – it was just how things worked). It was such a long chain of flops that at one point he didn’t receive a single offer – not even for supporting roles. Some people were even claiming that Youngjae had been cursed. It was that bad.

It left him quite depressed, and seriously contemplating whether to go behind-the-scenes, or even to retire from the film industry.

And then he got The Script That Saved His Life.

It was for a movie aptly titled Believe in Yourself, about a man who loses everything in the blink of an eye, and rediscovers himself in the world of boxing. The script is a bit too cheesy and much too optimistic, like an extended version of that annoyingly inspirational commercial that’s always on TV, but it’s promising, and it’s something Youngjae really needs right now. So although both the director and the screenwriter are new to the industry, he declares YOLO like a war cry to his manager and accepts the part without much consideration. It’s kind of a last resort to Youngjae. If this movie bombs he really will give up acting.

His worries are unfounded however, as the movie ends up being a sleeper hit. It doesn’t have the best opening weekend, but by the next weekend it’s ranked number one at the box office, and by then critics are calling it the Movie of the Year and one of Youngjae’s best performances to date. There’s buzz that he and the movie will become favorites in the awards season.

There are only a couple of days to rejoice, however, before a movie with Kim Himchan in his first starring role in a feature film hits the theaters. Youngjae didn’t even bother to pay attention to the film before its release – with someone like Kim Himchan, a former model and frequent lead actor in idol dramas, it’s not worth his precious time.

Naturally, Youngjae looks down at idol actors – they rely on their looks to act in dramas that have plots so ridiculously cheesy that Youngjae gets nauseous whenever Daehyun forces him to watch with him. Even as a child actor, Youngjae had always firmly believed that talent was what made the actor – not looks, connections, or money – and idol actors are the exact embodiment of everything Youngjae is against.

So Youngjae is more than a little frustrated when the movie, a stylish spy thriller, catches up to Believe in Yourself’s number one spot at the box office, and also becomes a contender for the upcoming award season.



Soon enough it's award season, and Kim Himchan’s movie is up for as many awards as Youngjae’s. Youngjae is more than a little bothered, because Youngjae’s been on the award circuit for so long, yet someone new is already on the same level as him.

Youngjae and his movie become the big winners of the first award ceremony of the season (he’s a little smug over the win, even if Kim Himchan doesn’t seem all that bummed), and Youngjae is drunk on his happiness until he bumps into Himchan (literally) at the after party when an inebriated Himchan spills the remainder of his expensive champagne all over the expensive suit of an extremely irked Youngjae. He tries not to let his irritation show. But his attempt at a polite smile when Himchan mutters an insincere apology, not even bothering to look at whom he bumped into, probably makes him look like a madman. He can feel Daehyun cowering away from him as he follows Himchan’s retreating figure with a glare that could kill.

Later on, if Youngjae elbows Himchan in the stomach on his way out of the party, it’s definitely an accident.



There’s a Male Actor Popularity Award at the next award ceremony, and the last time Youngjae checked the online poll, Himchan was a mere 0.1% ahead of him. Now, Himchan is leading the category with a whopping 40.3%, while Youngjae only has a mere 36.7%. The poll closes in few hours, right when the ceremony starts, so it’s almost a certainty that Himchan is going to win now.

Youngjae is not amused, poking at the poll results on his phone as if that’ll change anything. Daehyun is snickering next to him as his stylist does finishing touches on his hair.

"Ugh this is ridiculous. I bet all these votes are from his rabid fangirls."

"You’re just bitter that there's someone better looking than you who also happens to be talented."

And Youngjae can’t really come up with a clever reply, because deep, deep down, he has to admit that Daehyun speaks the truth. (He won’t even admit to himself that his protests when Daehyun forces him to watch dramas with him are much less vehement when the dramas star Kim Himchan.)

But even so, he’s monopolized the good-looking talent niche in the film industry for so many years that he’s a bit unwilling to share.



The award season ends with awards divided almost evenly among Youngjae and Himchan’s films, so Youngjae declares a tentative truce to the one-sided war he has been waging on Himchan. With Youngjae’s ruined suit as the only casualty, the two of them come out of the season relatively unscathed, managing to avoid any interaction with each other at the remainder of the award ceremonies.

(It’s more like Himchan tries to strike up a conversation with Youngjae, and Youngjae politely excuses himself to greet someone important that has conveniently been spotted all the way across the room. After a couple of times, Himchan gets the hint and stops trying.)



In the first week of March, Youngjae gets a call from Bang Yongguk, an acclaimed and renowned director and producer, with whom Youngjae has worked before. They work well together, and their collaborations have brought all kinds of success to them both in the past, so Youngjae is extremely excited when Yongguk offers him a starring role in his new film.

The film will be a Korean adaptation of Brokeback Mountain – homouality is such a sensitive topic in Korea, so the movie is bound to stir up a lot of public opinion and controversy – but Yongguk feels that it’s high time a movie like this is released in Korea, and Youngjae will be the perfect Ennis (or Jung Yunho, the name Yongguk has chosen for his adaptation).

Despite the potential downfalls that may come with this role, Youngjae can’t be more eager to take on the challenge. He says yes without a moment’s hesitation, and tries his hardest not to flail around in happiness as Yongguk tells him that the first script reading will be in two weeks. With a last reminder to pick up the script the next day, Yongguk hangs up with a promise to treat Youngjae to drinks so the two of them can catch up before they have to get down to business.







And now Youngjae is sitting in a bar an hour earlier than the time he had planned to meet Yongguk, already three tequila shots past sober. Apparently no one thought it’d be a good idea to tell him who’d be playing Kim Jaejoong, Yunho’s star-crossed lover, until just two days before the script reading. Two. ing. Days. He is so not prepared for this.

It’s not like Kim Himchan is his nemesis or anything, but he’s still feeling a little bitter that Kim Himchan is stealing a lot of his spotlight. He’d also rather not have to work so closely with someone he’d been (quite obviously) avoiding for the better part of award season. 

The next few months are going to be a painfully awkward affair, he thinks, downing a fourth (or fifth? He’s starting to lose count) tequila shot in one gulp.

“And why is that?”

Oops. Was he thinking out loud?

Youngjae is really not in the mood for strangers asking him invasive questions. He just wants to get drunk out of his mind (Yongguk will understand. Youngjae is pretty sure that everyone knows about the awkward tension between him and Himchan – if not, well Daehyun is a big mouth, and so is his good-for-nothing manager).

But all the alcohol leaves his system when he looks up to identify the stranger as Himchan, who has an almost predatory glint in his eyes. Youngjae gulps nervously. No escaping interaction now…

“Why are you here? Stalking me or something?” And… maybe he’s still drunk. Because that was probably the wrong thing to say. He isn’t sure if he’s hallucinating Himchan’s eyebrow twitch.

“No, Bbang invited me here. Said he wanted to hang out before we get busy.” Himchan brushes some invisible dust off of his form-fitting navy blue button down before settling himself comfortably in the seat next to Youngjae’s. “I’m guessing he invited you too?”

And Youngjae’s alcohol-impeded brain can’t really come up with a reply – he’s more focused on Himchan’s flawless profile, coming in and out of focus every other time he blinks. Right now, he thinks he can understand all the hype about Kim Himchan’s looks. And he’s probably being really creepy right now. Sober Youngjae would be mortified, but sober Youngjae isn’t the one in charge right now so he continues to stare, until Himchan notices he’s staring and smirks.

“I know I’m good looking and all but you don’t need to stare – after all, you’re going to be looking at my face a lot in the upcoming months—” He gestures to the bartender for a gin and tonic. “But then again, it’s hard to get tired of my face. So stare all you want, I guess.”

Spluttering indignantly, Youngjae responds by raising his hand to ask for a gin and tonic as well, gaze focused intently on the bartender pouring his drink. The next few moments are spent in silence, Youngjae too busy watching the drops of condensation fall down his cup, and Himchan enjoying his drink, until Himchan abruptly asks, “Do you hate me or something?”

Drunk Youngjae tries to shake his head vehemently, but he’s too dizzy and he’d rather not throw up all over Himchan so it looks more like he’s swaying his head side to side. “No, I don’t.”

“Then why do you always avoid me when I try to talk with you?”

“‘Cause you’re so good-looking! And talented,” Youngjae blurts out. He thinks he might be pouting right now.

Himchan laughs. “You’re cute.”

A blush finds its way onto Youngjae’s already very red face.

Youngjae doesn’t remember much after that, just a montage of conversation (more like random, drunken outbursts, on his part), innocent (dubious) touching, and even a kiss placed perilously close to his mouth.

It vaguely passes Youngjae’s mind that he is going to be very, very horrified tomorrow (and the day after that, and the day after that, and – for a while, actually).



And that thought comes to fruition when Youngjae wakes up the next day with a pounding headache, and memories that, for his own sanity, should have been forgotten. He considers driving himself off a cliff instead of getting up for the day.

When he walks to the kitchen, he sees Daehyun, probably the reason why he’s in his own apartment right now, sitting on Youngjae's couch and sipping the coffee he has brewed for the two of them. As soon as he notices Youngjae’s presence his lips twitch upward in what Youngjae has come to know as his make-fun-of-Youngjae smile. Youngjae makes his way to the kitchen and takes the aspirin and water already laid out on the counter for him, then pours himself a mug of coffee and takes a seat next to Daehyun on his sofa.

“You sure had some fun last night. Already getting cozy with your costar?”

“Shut up.”



Youngjae contemplates for the briefest of moments feigning sickness so he doesn't have to go to this first script reading, but that would be terribly unprofessional of him and he can't be one-upped by a newbie, can he? Plus, he can't avoid this forever – it’s Yongguk’s movie, so there is no way he could throw away this role - eventually he'll have to interact with Kim Himchan, even if he’d rather not, especially after that incident two days ago (he thinks he might’ve come onto Himchan first. That’s more than a little embarrassing).

He can do this. Almost twenty years in the industry already, and never a complaint about his work ethic – he doesn't plan to have that change.

Youngjae walks into the room to see an extremely focused Himchan already there, studying more of his script. It’s a little surprising, to say the least, though he hadn’t known what to expect of him anyways. He follows suit and sits down across from Himchan, who doesn’t even spare him a glance.

The rest of the cast slowly turns up in the next fifteen minutes, and they start promptly at ten when Yongguk comes into the room. Work-mode Himchan is incredibly professional, concentrated on the script and his character. Youngjae must say though, he can see for himself that Himchan is talented – rather than playing a character, he effortlessly becomes the character. He must also begrudgingly admit that the two of them have chemistry. Becoming a character has never been too difficult of a task for Youngjae, but Youngjae falls into the identity of Jung Yunho so easily – it’s kind of ridiculous how easily their character’s interactions come to them.

As soon as the script reading is over for the day, Yongguk comes to talk with Youngjae, scratching the back of his head sheepishly.

“Hey Youngjae, sorry I didn’t show up two days ago. I knocked out after dinner. I hope everything was okay with Himchan!”

And although Youngjae doubts the truth of his reason, he really can’t get mad at Yongguk. “It’s fine! I hope you got a lot of rest! We can always catch up some other time,” he says with a smile, intentionally ignoring Yongguk’s comments regarding Himchan.

Yongguk looks like he wants to say more, but his eyes flicker to a spot behind Youngjae, and instead he says that he needs to go work out some production things, and bids farewell to Youngjae with a knowing smile on his face.

A tap on his shoulder and Youngjae turns around to see Himchan with his hand where Youngjae’s right shoulder had been. There’s an amused smile on his lips, and Youngjae would really like to wipe it off (with his lips – wait did he really just think that).

Work-mode Himchan is gone, and Youngjae doesn’t know how to deal with this Himchan.

So he walks right by him and runs out the door.



The remaining script readings go well, as does filming.

(Minus that one day a couple of weeks into filming, when Yongguk has the bright, bright idea that all the intimate scenes should be done in one day. Youngjae is mortified out of his mind, and he thinks Yongguk is set on giving him a heart attack. There’s even one take of a scene where Yunho back-hugs Jaejoong in an effort to keep him from leaving, and they have to redo it because Youngjae looks like a crazed serial killer or something like that. And another scene where Jaejoong grabs Yunho’s face for a kiss while staring into his eyes, and Himchan’s stare is so intense that Youngjae gets uncharacteristically shy and tries to get away from him.

Eventually though, Youngjae gets more comfortable, and he hopes that when their characters hug, Himchan doesn’t feel his heart beating so fast that Youngjae thinks it’s going to leap out of his chest; that when their characters kiss, Himchan won’t notice his slight intake of breath before their lips meet.)

And unlike during award season, Himchan doesn’t give up when Youngjae avoids him. Youngjae usually makes a run for his car as soon as Yongguk calls it a day, but sometimes Himchan is faster and catches Youngjae. If there are other people around, Youngjae can’t help but comply with Himchan and let himself be dragged to dinner, lunch, or sometimes breakfast if they film throughout the night. And these are usually awkward affairs, mostly because Youngjae makes them so for himself. He doesn’t think Himchan really cares – if Youngjae wants to stare holes into his food, Himchan just talks about himself instead. (Youngjae will never admit it, but Himchan has a heavenly voice that he doesn’t think he could get tired of listening to.)

If there aren’t any other people around, Youngjae will make a lame excuse and Himchan will pout and it really isn’t fair how ridiculously adorable that pout is. So Youngjae will dash to his car for his great escape before he is tempted to kiss that pout off Himchan’s face or do something equally stupid and embarrassing.

Filming wraps up on time and with no complications, and the day after filming the cast and crew hold their own party to celebrate the end of months of hard work. After his last drunk incident, Youngjae decides to stop drinking after a couple of glasses of wine, but everyone else is more than a little drunk, especially Himchan.

For the whole night, Youngjae has been avoiding Himchan, as usual, but Himchan is getting fed up with Youngjae’s antics (and it also probably has something to do with the alcohol). So near the end of the night, when half the people are already knocked out, Himchan catches Youngjae off guard and drags him into the hallway (how he has that strength drunk, Youngjae will never know), where he proceeds to trap Youngjae between him and the wall with his arms and kisses him right on the lips.

It actually isn’t that romantic or passionate, because Himchan is drunk and smells like alcohol and is a really sloppy kisser when he’s drunk. Youngjae is already kind of impressed that he didn’t miss.

But like everything else that Himchan does, it makes Youngjae’s heart skip a beat, and this time he’s the one that leans in first.







To no one’s surprise, the movie opens at number one at the box office. The star-crossed couple of the movie, Jung Yunho and Kim Jaejoong, becomes a hot topic, and consequently, so does the relationship between Himchan and Youngjae.

Neither comments when asked about it at the press conferences for the movie, but when they become the first two males in history to win a Best Couple Award at the award ceremonies, Himchan pretty much gives it away when he pulls Youngjae in for a kiss after their thank you speech.

A few months ago, Youngjae would have pushed him away and looked at him in horror, but now he kisses him back, a brief peck on Himchan’s lips, and laces their fingers together for the trip back to their table.

Needless to say, the audience goes wild. (And so will the tabloids the next morning.)