It's Not The Goodbye, It's The Hello
It's Not The Goodbye, It's The HelloThey've said goodbyes at the airport, inside the car, and at every end of their phone calls. That's why,
long distance relationships mean always having to say goodbye, they said.
"I thought you said you have a task waiting for you at your dorm?"
"Yes."
"... Aren't you going back?"
She sighs. "No?"
He laughs at her annoyed face and wraps his arms around her. "You know, you should really gain some weight."
"Said someone whose weight decreased so that he looked like a pale walking corpse." She sends a look at him. "Go take care of yourself before you can talk to me like that."
He laughs again and drags her body closer.
They finally meet again after their separation three years ago, and their last meeting almost a year ago because she needs to continue her studies overseas.
But there they are now; arm around the other's shoulder, smiles plastered over their lips, and fluttering hearts at their every touch.
They've been hanging around in the mall for like three hours even they haven't done anything in specific — literally, just wandering around— and both parties still don't want to go back.
"What about sushi?"
She rolls her eyes. "No, Junmyeon. Not even an hour passed after earlier donuts. Can't you see this bump?"
He narrows his eyes and goes down so that he's on the same level with her belly. "Which bump?"
She groans and pushes him who's now laughing. "Forget it."
"Ouch, look who's being grumpy." He tugs her hand and pulls her to his chest, leaning to her vanilla scented hair.
They have never been that touchy to each other before, yet, no one really bothers about it now.
She bits her bottom lip, preventing herself from smiling, and looks away. She likes that feeling, she admits inwardly, the moment when she's being dragged to the point she can hear his thumping heart. As cold as an iceberg Soojung's appearance could be, everyone but Junmyeon who can only melt her down into an ocean.
She can never, ever, resist Junmyeon.
***
"When are you going back?" She asks, lifting her head to see his thin beard, unlike the usual clean shaved chin. "You don't shave anymore.." She mumbles and reaches out against his plaid shirt.
He chuckles and takes her small hand in his. "I don't know. Maybe at 6? And yes, I haven't got the time."
Her forehead wrinkles. "Six? Sharp? You don't want to eat dinner first? It's okay, you look much manlier with this."
He leans in to kiss the wrinkles away and mumbles on her forehead. "Maybe 7? I don't know. Why are you asking? I thought you said you hated men with beard?"
She must admit, she's at lost of what to do every time he does that.
She pushes his head further and scoffs. "Stop it. I'm tired arguing with you. And yes, but you're an exception for that beard thingy because you look all that good unexpectedly. Now will you excuse me, I need to order our drinks and you're drinking what I'm ordering." She stands up with crimson cheeks, leaving him smiling. Widely.
Still smiling, he takes out his phone due to the beep. It is stated that his flight is all okay and booked. He sighs and looks at the girl on the counter, still struggling to say the foreign language and uses English in the end. The corner of his lips quirks up and he smiles.
"Now how can I go leaving you again?"
Because for Kim Junmyeon, even he tries to deny so hard that distance doesn't matter -- it matters.
***
"You're going?"
"Yes?"
"For real?"
"Where's your driver?"
"He'll be here soon. When is your flight? Where you parked your car?"
"I'll just fetch you to the lobby then?"
"You don't have to. Just go to your car." She takes her (plenty) shopping bags -- yes, they finally did something that day -- from his hand and turns on her flats. She looks up at him the last time, "Bye!"
It's only few steps she takes when she feels nothing, like, at all.
"Really?" She grumbles.
Sulking, she punches her phone's screen but only to be snatched by a familiar hand.
Of course.
She looks up and he smiles, way too gentle for her liking.
"Yes, really." He plops her phone to his jeans pocket. "So you're just going to leave me like this?" He asks.
She looks away and puckers her lips. "Fine. I'll wait here. Go now."
He stares at her face the longest time before he pulls her again, embracing her and smelling her scent. "I'll miss you, Soojung."
"Mmhm," she mumbles. She stays rooted on the ground, both hands limping on her sides.
"I won't be able to see you in months, again, after this, so please let me hug you a bit longer now, okay?"
Hearing the word 'again' being emphasized, she can only nod -- the only movement she's capable doing at the moment. He then pulls away but it's barely a minute has passed, way too short than she had expected before.
She thought he would hug her at least 5 minutes long like when they were inside his car after their so-called farewell dinner at their last date.
She thought he would whisper how much he loves her and how much he doesn't want to he separated from her.
She thought he would kiss her chastely on the lips like their first separation when he took her to the airport.
But there he is, giving her forehead one last peck and brushing her bang away before moving back, slowly yet surely, further away from her.
She can't really figure what he's been saying because it feels like a slow motion. She doesn't know when else they're going to meet because he will be as busy as she is, and it's going to be hard to hear his soothing voice because he's not changing his phone anytime soon, and it's just not fair for her that she has been ignoring and giving him short replies and worse, she didn't hug him back when the truth is, she just misses him as much that she doesn't know how to cherish the moment with him, unless with those sarcasm treats.
He's now turning on his sneakers and now back facing her, who's staying still and not planning to move away.
Go and stop him you moron, she tells herself.
Go move your slow legs and tackle him down so that he won't leave, she once again tells herself inwardly.
"Junmyeon!" She calls finally, a bit too loud that she gathers everyone's attention to her.
But she could care less.
He stops in his track and looks back, "Yes?"
She is still standing on her current spot and she can't bring herself to say what she actually going to say. Moreover, when they are in a such distance.
Oh dear, distance, again.
"Soojung?" He asks her again and just when she's about to answer, he quickly snaps. "Right! Your phone!"
He laughs and approaches her. "How could I forget?"
On the other hand, she looks at him in disbelief when he takes her free hand and hands her the phone, "There you go." He grins sheepishly and that face just makes her want to smack his face with her heaviest shopping bag even further. "Is there anything I left now?"
"Stupid." She says blankly. "How could I date you in the first place?"
"Huh? What did I do--"
"Shut up." She steps closer and it's getting scary for him for once because, man, the look in her eyes.
But what surprises him, is what she do after.
Her hands find its way to embrace his slender body and she buries her face on his chest. "I'm going to say this one time so don't you ever try to break the hug because I don't want you to see me while I'm saying it. Is that a stood?"
He just nods, and after a half minute of silence, she begins to speak.
"You know I'm not the type to do any of these, like, uhm, this hug, but I just realized that these past years have been amazingly so hectic and I'm so thankful that we finally can meet again after a year and I know that everytime we meet I give you nothing but sarcasm but I suppose you already understand and can bear with it. Oh, well."
He laughs at that and he can feel her flat stomping his brand-new sneakers.
"And without me knowing, we've been together for 4 years and we've been separated for almost 2 years, yet, you're still not giving up on me." She exhales. "I thought we were already over the time you said you can't stand the distance. It was so horrifying for me. But I could do nothing, because this -- here -- is my dream, and your dream is over there, and I'm so grateful up until now you're still standing here with me. Thank you, for keeping up with me."
Now he smiles, and he just can't help but hug her back even tighter the time she says those simple words. Right there, everything seems enough for him to have the faith that distance doesn't matter that much. Even more, it doesn't matter, like, at all.
"Oh well, it's getting way cheesy now, so I'm just going to say that I will miss you, too. Or if it's possible, more. I know I rarely say it directly to you on our Skype calls, or even through our texts, but you have to believe it that I really mean it. And lastly, I want you to know that," she looks up now to see the most perfectly scluptured-face she has ever seen, "you're worth every mile between us."
She smiles, and so does he, and their kiss that night is way enough for both to keep their faith in each other.
They look into each other's eyes; foreheads on each other's.
They've said hello at the mall, inside the train, and at the beginning of their every morning Skype. Because,
"'Till we meet again?"
"Yes, 'till we meet again."
long distance relationships mean always having to say hello.
a/n: highly inspired from my coughs own experience and this article. credits to him. all of you must check that article (esp for those who's dying bc of ldrs). it's so inspiring and somehow gives you strenght (i know this sounds so strange but it's true) and really, long distance relationship is not so scary as i thought it would be. i'm not a golden-words talker so you can go check yourself the article for more motivating words (and proofs). mostly the quotes are from there and anonymous quotes from pinterest. anyway, this one shot/drabble is to celebrate that i finally finished my 1st midterm as a med stud HAHA can u believe it, yes, yay for me. wish me luck. oh God.
so, yeah, i'm back with this drabble.
maybe.
happy reading! :)
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