We Choose to Remember Our Ghosts

[2. The Boy Who Never Stayed]

He cracked a half-hearted chuckle when she told him the simple answer –smiling, oblivious, ignorant.

"Yeah, I've been fine."

Of course, of course, you are fine. You are always going to be. Heard that you have been getting a lot of solo offers –modeling, acting, everything that you have always wanted. You are no longer Jung Sooyeon who needs me to introduce you to the world, because the world knows you now, right, Jung Jessica?

Jessica played with the glass she was holding as she questioned him back. "But seriously, Oppa. How have you been doing? Aside from all your usual Kim Heechul stuffs?"

He had to fake the laugh again, because Jessica used to be funny –but not anymore.

"What do you mean with "my usual Kim Heechul stuffs"?"

Ah yes, now you're asking me. What do you want to know, Jessica? You want to know how much sneer I got from all of them? Saying that I have been faking my injury to escape the training or mocking how gay I am (you'd think I'm used to that, wouldn't you? No, I am not). You want to know how much I did not fit in there? You want to know how pathetic I was and that radio program was the only place where I actually had the liberty over myself (not really, actually)? You, too, will never label me more than those "Kim Heechul stuffs", won't you?

Jessica did not answer; only smiled. Heechul vaguely tried to remember whether Jessica smiled that much two years ago. He did not suppose so. He usually broke the silence between them, but he did not feel like doing it that time. He did not know whether she would realize this little change of policy, perhaps not. Most likely, not.

Because do you know how disappointed