"I love you."

The slightly older of the two clicked his tongue in annoyed and brushed his hand over his shoulder-length hair. He put the music sheet back on the table and brushed over the jet black hair man.

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too Jonghunnie," he said boringly. "I told you not to read those fanfics didn't I?" Hongki shot the man accusing look before gulping his water down to clearing his throat.

Since two hours earlier, the band already gathered in the practice room to prepare their comeback stage. The deadline is near so it's quite hectic for five of them. On such crucial time, the leader of the group should be working the hardest to make sure everything's going on the right path, but this leader of FT Island is different. Well, he usually work the hardest, practice till his hand all numb and not going to stop unless his dongsaengs plead him to. He didn't wasting any time to do aside than practice, or compose their song.

Strange enough, nowadays he seems distracted, or so the way main vocal analyze. He's no longer has any focus when he's practicing. He keeps saying and do the weird things over, not that he wasn't weird before, but it just become doubled, from the way Hongki measured. Thinking about it, Hongki got a very long list of Jonghun's weird behavior these days. Starting from his stutter whenever the main vocal talk to him, until his day dreaming which happened pretty often.

Don't forget to mention his lovey dovey act and his obsession toward fan service.

Hongki dropped his on the couch, waiting for the trio younger of FT Island to come back from mini market with lunch for all of them. They went for greatly 20 minutes, leaving Hongki alone with Jonghun, turning their Japanese composed song into Korean. Jonghun smiling softly toward the elder and put his guitar on it stack. He comes to sit on the couch next to the main vocal.

"Tired?" he asked softly.

Hongki sighted and rest his head on the armchair. He patted his growl tummy lightly. "Hungry," he groaned. "Aish, why those kids took so long? Call them Jonghunnie."

Hongki said it with his bossy tone, but Jonghun just chuckled, knowing how dangerous it is when Hongki got truly hungry. Jonghun picking up his phone and dialed the most reliable person of the three kids, Jaejin.

"Ne Jonghun hyung," Jaejin answered.

"Hey, what took you guys so long?" Jonghun asked them. Hongki sticks his ear on the phone to so he could hear. Jonghun smiled slightly before put it on the speaker.

"Ya, black goat, hurry!" Hongki yelled loudly.

"Ne, hyung. Minari wants chicken, so we come to chicken restaurant but it quite crowd. We're on the line; still need little time to go."

"Got it. See you soon," Jonghun cut the connection before Hongki could say another words to the younger.

"Ah hungry," Hongki whined. "Really hungry."

"I'll find something to eat."

Hongki smirked right away. "Good. Took long enough to make you say that."

Jonghun brushed the elder’s hair before went outside. Few more minutes, he comes with two cup noodles in hands. Good thing they have a soft hearted manager who can't say no to their puppy eyes. Hongki jolted from his seat in pure excitement.

"It smells good!" he cheered, grabbed one of the cup noodles in a hurry. His smiled go very wide it almost rips his face.

The leader took back the cup and handed Hongki the other one. "Not this. It's seafood. You eat the curry."

Hongki pouting almost immediately. "Seafood has a better taste."

"You can thank me later when you realize how lucky you are for not trigger your allergy at this time," Jonghun said then eat his noodle, which Hongki follows not long after.

"It's good, however. Thank you Jonghunnie," Hongki said when he emptied the cup, filling his tummy a little.

"I love you," Jonghun repeated for the second time today.

Hongki rolled his eyeballs. "Alright, alright. We'll give a fan service on our next concert."

Jonghun opens his mouth for answering but then the door swinging open and the trio come inside. "Took you very long, I almost die starve," Hongki yelled excitedly and run to their side for food. Jonghun held back his words and eyeing the beautiful main vocal who starting to eat again.

"But really, I love you," he whispered sadly.

They practiced for another hours till they called it a day and agree to continue on tomorrow. The van already outside the FNC's building to bring the 4 of them home. Hongki will go home on foot since his apartment is near the building. It took him only 15 minutes to go on foot.

"You sure it's alright?" Jonghun asked him with a little tint of worries. The van already waiting for him and the trio already get in, but he still standing outside the van with Hongki.

The elder put on his coat. "Of course I am. I do it every time," he said lightly.

Jonghun much aware how close the distance to Hongki's place, but still, it's already dark and Hongki had a bad sight. Moreover, not so many people walk around the complex. Hongki isn't girl, but he did have a pretty face. Jonghun tries to shook his worry away, remain himself that he is over thinking and adjust Hongki's coat like a mom.

"Take care, okay?" he said before tugging Hongki into a quick hug and kiss the shorter man's top head.

"Yah! What's wrong with you?" Hongki struggled to pry himself off.

"Text me when you arrive home," Jonghun ordered before get into the van.

Hongki stays for a while and wave his hand until the van moved out of his sight. He turned to walk to his house. "What a weird brat. What's gotten into him exactly?" he mumbled along the way.

Days passed quickly as the band busily preparing themselves for their comeback. A week passed and everything starts to become more intense if it possible. So do Jonghun, who finally back on his track. The returned of their usual hard working leader make the band have a new high passion. Things finally going on its way, except for the main vocal. With the hectic schedule practice and the weather which starting to cooler, his throat didn't stand a chance.

Just like this time, when they finally had a break time for an hour. Hongki soon throws his on the couch, lean his head on the cushion, and coughing a little from powerfully singing since morning. He curses his weak throat in his mind when he feels the familiar sting on it.

"Ki, you okay?"

Jonghun already there standing in front of him, looking at him with concern. "It hurts?" he asked, placing a hand on Hongki's side neck. Thumb his jaw line softly.

Somehow, Jonghun's worry touch make the main vocal feels better. Hongki closed his eyes and lean to the touch without minding so. Jonghun sat beside him, put an opened bottle of fresh water into Hongki's hand. "Drink."

Hongki sips the water down, cooling his ache throat. He continues gulping until the bottle's empty. Jonghun took the empty bottle from the singer's hand and toss it on the table. He then pulled the elder toward him and places his head on his own shoulder. Hongki didn't bother to speak, nor open his eyes. He just quietly obeying the leader and snuggled his head closer on the younger's perfectly toned chest. None of them utter a word. Hongki soon get used to Jonghun's soft touch on his hair. He becomes relax while listening to the guitarist’s neat breath.

"Rest for a while," Jonghun's soft whispered was enough to drift him off to sleep.

***

Hongki trying hard to open his heavy eyelids. The first think he seen was a muscular arm which held him. He feels the butterfly touch on his hair, caressing it slowly. He then remembers where he is and who's with him. His eyes are about to shutting again when he realizes the room was far too silent for practice. He lifted his head up.

"Hello there," Jonghun smiled his Casanova smile at him.

The latter looks at his surroundings. "Where are the others?" and the crucial question crossed his mind. "What time is it?"

"It's 9 in the evening. They went home already. We'll continue tomorrow," Jonghun told him calmly, checking his phone for clock.

Hongki’s eyes widened. "Why don't you wake me up?"

The guitarist always loves to touch the elder’s hair, ruffle it gently. "Not a particular reason," he said jokingly. He just can't find himself to tell the older that he won't waste a chance to hold the other in his arms. "Now that you wake up, let's go home."

The older, still daze from sleep, nodding and stand up. He rubbed his eye, try to gain his conscious back while Jonghun gathering all of their things. Lastly, the leader put the coat on the singer's tired body and zipper it up and put the hoodie carefully on the blonde head. He turns off all the lamp and lock the room, and then he held the elder’s hand within his own and led him out of the building.

The elder just obeying quietly until he recognize the younger didn't has any intention to let him go. Instead, the younger lead him to take the familiar road to his apartment.

"Ya, Jonghunnie?"

The leader only answered with a hum. "What are you doing?" Hongki asked, stopped in the middle of the track to make the other stops too.

"Taking you home?" Jonghun answered matter of factly. Just before they stepped out of the company, Hongki got rid of his dried softens which sting his eyes badly because he slept with it on before. Amusement laced his tone; make Hongki raised one of his brows.

"Okay, now you really make me worry," The elder said. He released his hand off Jonghun's. "Don't you think you took the role too serious, Jonghun?" he asked the confused leader.

"Role? What role?" Jonghun asked him back.

The chill air crept between them. Hongki stuffed his hands in his coat's pocket, try to get them warm, or keep the warm from Jonghun's before. "Role of us as a couple."

There's a glint on Jonghun's eyes. Something that Hongki can't pinpoint. "You are so into it lately," he patiently explained. "All the stuff like taking me home. I'm not a girl, Jonghun, and I’m certainly not your girlfriend. What you did lately make me confuse and quite uncomfortable."

The more he talks, the more dark the expression on Jonghun's eyes. It just like something's dying inside him. Seeing this, Hongki found himself hard to continue, but he did it anyway. "It's good to entertain our primadonna sometimes, but you don't need to do it every time. They didn't even here. You usually don't like it too much, so what change your mind? Or did you read those fanfics? Heechul hyung has so many qualities, why after all, you choose his weird interest to read those?

"However it just a role, Jonghun. Everything about it is not real. Maybe you should-"

"You never really look at me don't you?" a flat question came out from Jonghun's mouth. Cutting the main leader off.

"What?" Hongki asked the younger, didn't really like it when he was being cut off.

They become silent. Hongki, waiting for the younger to answer him. Jonghun, on the other hand, just averts his gaze away. The main vocal, always being a straight forward person, trying to catch Jonghun's attention. What he looks into the younger's eyes make him gasp lightly. Those brown orbs, which usually full of warmth and caring now covered with dark clouds. It lost its spark, but they are shining because some tears linger on it.

Another strong breeze hit on them, just right before Hongki opens his mouth. He closed his mouth again, didn't know exactly what to say. It's not the first time he sees Jonghun cry. He saw it quite lot times before. When the company scolded them, when they being unnoticed by citizens, when they struggled through all the hardships, but he never, ever be the reason of the leader's tears.

 "Let's get you home," the younger finally said with a slightly shaky voice when Hongki shivered a bit.

Just like that, he starts to walk to the elder's apartment. Hongki followed him from behind, still can't make himself to speak. The main vocal managed to stay close with the leader due to his bad sight at night. To his relief, Jonghun walks slowly. He’ll wait till Hongki just a step away before walking again. Even though he said the younger was overreacted before, Hongki can't deny it's quite hard for him to walk on the dark without lens or glasses.

The only contact Jonghun did was he took the elder's hand on a firm grip and guides him to avoid a big broken branch in front. Right after the passed it, he lets go Hongki's hand. Still, none of them uttered a word. All Hongki could do just staring on the younger's back and hope they reach his apartment quickly.

Jonghun took Hongki up to his apartment's lobby. They're facing each other now. Hongki started to think the silence's suffocating. "I'm sorry for make you feel uncomfortable," was all Jonghun said before he turns away and left Hongki.

***

After the incident last time, everything's change. Jonghun became a totally different person than days ago. He avoided everyone, especially Hongki. He becomes Jonghun they see in front of camera. Cold, distant, and quiet. All trace of their playful, childish Jonghunnie was gone, replaced by a stiff leader. He spent his time only for practicing. Barely saying something to his band mates, he just plays his guitar or keys according to the song list, and leaving no choice for s except to follow him.

The impact was hit on Hongki the most. Not only refused to talk to him, Jonghun also refused to look at him. They have no interacted for the pass days that make Hongki swears he already forgotten how's Jonghun's voice sound. Not to mention Jonghun avoided him like he's one of deathly virus which could infect him in a second. It really happened, not just Hongki's over dramatic explanation. Whenever they accidentally bumped into each other, Jonghun will get away faster than a blink.

Really, what is wrong with that kid, the main vocal scratched his hair in frustrate. Just days ago he all cuddled up with me to the point I slightly fed up and now he ignored me like I’m not here. Aish, what's really inside that small head? He threw his body on the couch with a loud huff, glaring the leader, source of all his frustration who strumming his guitar gently like nothing happened.

The incident flew back to his mind. He remembered Jonghun's teary eyes back then. I really don't understand. Did I talk too harsh and unconsciously offended him? But he knew me well, very well! Hongki thought in annoyed, his glare if it possible, could burn a hole on Jonghun's head by its power. He knew I sometimes can't really pinpoint what I mean and ended with a little rude word. He usually prevents me to say it so nobody get offend and misinterpreted me, for God's sake! Besides we've been a best friend for a decade, didn't that an enough guarantee to make him at least tell me what's I done wrong so I could make up with him? Aish that dimwit!

Jonghun keeps strumming his guitar, ignoring the burning sensation on his face. The maknae trio, Jaejin, Seunghyun, and Minhwan secretly steal a look to both their hyung and exchange a meaningful glance around them secretly. The atmosphere on the practice room is gloom and chill, sending shiver down to the trio. They plays their instrument seriously than ever, try hard not to make mistake so they not annoyed the older hyungs more than they already were.

However Hongki, always being a hot tempered and very hate when he's ignored, crushed down the trio's attempt. He growls in a very annoyed tone while he stomped to the leader. He stops in front of the leader who still ignores him. The entire instrument stopped except the guitar on Jonghun's hand. None of the trio uttered a word. Seunghyun face palmed himself, waiting for the worst to happen.

"Why are you ignoring me, huh?" he demanded.

Jonghun refused to look at the main vocal that now boiled in anger. Jaejin put his bass and awkwardly standing. "I, uh, I’m going to go get a drink," he excused lamely and hurrily going into the door, pulling the two maknaes with him. Minhwan glued right behind Jaejin. Seunghyun took Jaejin's hand and place his other hand on Minhwan's back, tugging them to walk faster. He didn't even bother to put his guitar down.

Both the older didn't really notice the trio as they were into their cold war. Hongki crossed his arms in front of his chest, waiting for an answer which didn't come. Jonghun stubbornly refuse to look at the elder and keep his hand on the string, playing the same song thrice already.

"Really, what's your problem? Tell me," Hongki waiting for Jonghun to utter a word, but the guitarist didn't even stop playing.

The anger snapped inside Hongki. He pulled the wire off Jonghun's guitar harshly and threw it away. To his success, Jonghun finally set his eyes on him. His deep orbs staring at him powerfully which makes Hongki wants to take one step back but being a stubborn he is, Hongki fights the urge and stay on his previous place.

"I'm talking with you," he said as it could righteous his acted.

"What do you want Hongki?" he said lastly. Jonghun closed his eyes and rubbed his face with his own hand. Now being closer to him, Hongki noticed the trace of tiressy all over his perfectly sculptured face. There's a dark bags below his eyes, and his skin much paler than usual. Hongki will be worry if the anger didn't flame in him.

"I should be the one who said that! Now that you mentioned it, why don't you tell me what I done wrong so we could get over it?"

Jonghun averted his eyes away. It's true he had been avoiding, not to mention harsh toward the elder. It's killing him to do so, to run into the other way of the elder, when what exactly he want is take a look over Hongki's presence even if it just a glimpse. He must remain himself over and over again not to come to Hongki and pull him into his arm, to breathe his scent, to feel his warmth although he dreamt about it every night.

He didn't mean to make everything's turned out complicated. Its worst enough to find out he falls with his best friend, and now he turns out make his best friend uncomfortable too. 

But the pain that pierced him that night is really taking its toll on him. He knew it will turns out bad if he confesses his feeling, but he never mean to make any difficulties for Hongki. It’s true he can’t control his feeling anymore, it grew bigger each day, but now he won’t let it happens again.

If Hongki uncomfortable with it, he’ll go away.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Jonghun said softly. ”I’m the one who’s wrong. I need a time to fix it.”

The words hurt him right after it left his mouth. He took another breathe to calm himself. “Wait me for a while, okay?” he said carefully.

"I really don't unders-" Hongki trailed off. The word can't surpass his lips when he saw, again, Jonghun's eyes turned off. Its dark and cold. It looks like something die inside of him. A strange feeling lingers on his heart. Hongki looked at those eyes uncomfortably and really surprised when he realized the feeling is hurt.

“Just give me a little time,” Jonghun said with monotone. He tried to smile, which failed miserably. It’s just an empty smile he shows the older.

That’s why he really didn’t expect it when Hongki pulled him into hug. The moment their bodies touched, Jonghun’s heart skips a beat. It feels like there’s a butterfly in his stomach. The next moment, a painful shot thudding his heart. He isn’t supposed to enjoy it when the thing he should do is stay away. He didn’t want the elder to notice his rapid heartbeat and scare him with his longing over him.

“Ki,” Jonghun called weakly, trying so hard to win over his debating with his own self. To win over and shut this painful feeling which filled him like a poison. “Ki, what are you doing?” he asked shakily.

“Silly,” Hongki murmured. “You silly. No, we both silly,” he rambled, brought him closer and hug him tightly. Everything’s clear now. Vivid, just like the last puzzle piece finally being place to where it belongs. Every warm gaze the younger shot him, every touch he showered him, every affections he shows toward him.

And every sincere smile he gives the older. Hongki mentally kicked his self for being so dense that he didn’t realize his own feeling. He should’ve known what it means when he felt lost after the younger avoid him. When he can’t sleep in his own room the first time he moved in, not having his warm body next to him.

He must sense a happiness inside of him when Jonghun boldly show his caring, his love, not just ignore it and took it as a joke.

How could I can’t see it when it’s lying there just in front of my eyes? Hongki can’t help but wondering whether it’s really he can’t see or he sees but simply shrugged it away because he doesn’t want to lift up his hope?

He never thinks being such insecure could push away the only one he wants to be with. Thinking how hurts Jonghun was because of his, make him feel terribly guilty. The tears that brought into Jonghun’s eyes, the pain that written on his face, really torn his heart apart.

“I’m sorry,” Hongki said sincerely. Jonghun pushed him a little so that he could see him. The question in Jonghun’s hurtful and dying eyes meet him and he wasting no other time to do what he really wants to do; he leaned close and kissed those eyes. “I’m so sorry.” He could feel the younger tensed immediately, stiffen by the contact, but Hongki didn’t let go, he pressed his lips on Jonghun’s left eye and stay there. His hands ghosted to Jonghun’s back neck, hovering around the locks.

Again, Jonghun’s heart beating crazily that he afraid could be heard. He can’t lie he cherished this moment, but he can’t, he’ll give up any moment. “Ki, let’s stop this game, okay?” he forced himself to say it, the words burnt his throat. “I know you don’t like it. I won’t do it again.”

Jonghun tried to untangle Hongki’s hand from his body with his own shaky hands. It just makes Hongki tighten his hold more, showering his face with kisses. “I’m not playing. I’m so sorry Jonghunnie,” he whispered while planting a soft kiss to Jonghun’s beautiful ear. “I do look at you,” he continued, referring to Jonghun’s sad question. “Just once, it’s only once needed though. I see you. I really am.”

The younger held his breath; forcefully tugging the elder to look at his face, what he saw took his breath away. He saw the most beautiful face he wanted to see in front of him, smiling softly toward him.

“I’m sorry for take your feeling lightly, for thinking about it just as an act. I should’ve realized it sooner.”

“Realized what?” Jonghun asked with fear. He didn’t want to lift his hope up.

Hongki smiled another soft smile than he brought Jonghun’s hands that held him before and kisses both of it. The touch of Hongki's soft lips makes Jonghun shivers. Hongki rubbed his lips to Jonghun's callous fingertips. "I love you too."

Jonghun didn't dare to speak, nor move. He afraid if it's just a dream and he'll wake up if he does something. He could only stare at the older with widen eyes.

Hongki, being able to read the younger's mind as usual, showing him a reassure smile. "I'm not lying nor playing. I'm death serious." Once again, he tangled his hands to Jonghun's soft hair, brought the man closer to him. "I love you."

No word could express the joy deep inside Jonghun. The happiness, the joyful, flooded inside of him, burning all his sense. He finally wrapped his arm around the elder's now round waist, and pull him closer to a hug. "Say it again," he murmured quietly.

"I love you," the elder repeated. Once again showering Jonghun's face with kisses. "I love you Jonghun." he trailed a kiss to the younger's firm jaw line. "I love you," he whispered to Jonghun's sensitive ear, the sweetest music the younger had ever heard. "I love yo-"

He forced to stop when Jonghun captured his lips by his own. Hongki instinctively closed his eyes, drown into the kiss the younger insisted. Their lips moved together in their own pace. Hongki tugged the younger closer if it possible, already addicted with the sweet taste of Jonghun's soft lips on his. Jonghun groans and complies, cupping the  elder's chubby cheeks with his hands carefully, somehow afraid he'll break the other.

The younger stopped the kiss for a split second, putting a little distance between them just to whisper; "I love you Hongki, I always do." right to the elder lips then close the gap between their lips again. Soon, the rhythm repeated again.

They part when the needed for air were too strong to ignore. Jonghun smiled on the side of his panting lover, cheek bruised with a deep shade rose. He pulled the elder to sit on his lap, hugging him tightly.

"I always look at you, only you. Don't questioning that ever again," Hongki said with hoarse voice, buried his face to Jonghun's shoulder. Hand placed right above Jonghun's chest, feeling his rapid heartbeats.

"I won't," Jonghun said, finally smiling so brightly after weeks.

***

"Hyung you're the older, you should be the one who checking on them," Seunghyun stated, urging Jaejin to come closer the door of their practice room. Guitar still slung on his shoulder.

"Ah, ya! How could you order your hyung around?" Jaejin raised his voice.

"It's your idea to use a drink as an excuse, hyung," the maknae, Minhwan remarked. "My stomach hurt for drinking too much water."

Seunghyun once again pushed Jaejin through the door. "Hyung, how if they killed each other? This fight seems so serious than ever."

Jaejin stills in front of the door, didn't find a courage to really took a step and open the door to see the group's eldest members. "Go on hyung, we'll right behind you," Minhwan cheered, make a fighting sign with his hand. Next to him, Seunghyun smiled encouragingly.

Jaejin took a deep breath before he puts his hand on the handle and swing the door open. He prepared himself to see a bloody fighting between the two, even the several bruised was anticipated. For being a group for nearly ten years, having an argument was usual. Things could get so hot and intense that involved a physical contact sometimes. Moreover if it's Hongki. The eldest had this specialty of pissing someone. But what he saw nearly make him dropped his jaw.

He saw the two members having an intense encounter of locking lips. Both seem too distracted with the kiss to realize there's a viewer. As soon as he could manage, Jaejin flung the door shut hard.

"Wae, wae? Is it really bad? Are they okay?" Seunghyun asked in a high speed.

"They didn't really throw a punch did they?" Minhwan asked worried.

Both of them eyeing their now pale hyung, demanding an answer. "Yes!" Jaejin answered in a furry. "Yes, it's really bad. They fighting badly, like a war," Jaejin dragged the rest two members with him to stay away from their practice room. "Believe me, you guys didn't want to see it. Let's leave them finish it alone."

Minhwan scratched his head with confuse. "But how if they hurt each other? Shouldn't we stop them?"

"You'll be the one who hurt if you stop them," Jaejin replied.

Aish, Hongki hyung, Jonghun hyung, you really owe me big time. He thought while driving the members as far as it could be.

Written by : HoneyJune

Nah, nah, Till I completed the story, all of you keep persistent to be a silent readers. But still, I love all of you who read my story. For subscribing and kindly give me a personal message, I love you all too. ^^

For now, it's a farewell, but I'm planning to make Jongki's chaptered story in near future. I won't stop until I gain your trust on me. ^^ See you then!