That guy is standing on the altar, waiting for the love of his life. He keeps gulping and trying to fix his tie and tuxedo even though there is nothing wrong with his appearance. He closes his eyes and exhales a very deep breath. And then he hears that song.   The Wedding March song.   The door is opened and there she comes, walks arm and arm with her beloved father. She just can not stop smiling sheepishly while sometimes grinning at her best friends who are standing while cheering from the guest seats.   The guy can not take away his eyes from her. She looks stunning, beautiful as ever. He can not hope for more. They have been dating only for a year and a half, but he knew that she is the one. She is his soulmate and he wants to live his life with her until the day he dies. How romantic is that?   Her father wipes his tears away and pats his shoulder lightly. "Please take care of my beautiful daughter" he says, while smiling sincerely at his 'soon-to-be' son in law.   "I will, father" and he has been calling him 'father' lately. He smiles at the bride and holds her hand. "Hey" he says, awkwardly.   "Hey" the bride answers, while chuckling a little.   They take deep breaths as the priest speaks, "Before we start, do you have any kind of wedding vows for each other?"   They both nod. "I do have one" and they say it simultaneously. They are perfect for each other, aren't they? It seems like they can read each other's mind.   The bride exhales. "I'll go first" she smiles slightly at the priest then at their guests. She looks at the groom. "When I first saw you, I already knew that you would be the love of my life. I didn't believe at love at first sight before, but then I saw you and I was starting to believe it. I will try my best to be a good wife for you and a good mother for our child" she stops. Then, she continues while chuckling. "...or children, since you told me that you've always wanted to have a son and a daughter" everyone laughs, including the groom. "And I promise that I will always love you, forever and ever. I will love you till the day I die, Xi Luhan"   Everyone is clapping and cheering loudly. They are eagerly waiting for the groom's turn to say his vow.   The groom, or Luhan, takes a very deep breath. Before he can say anything...       "You know that I love you, right? So don't worry, I'll be here by your side. I will never leave you. I promise"       Luhan feels like a lightning just struck his heart. Bad timing, really bad. Why does that memory have to appear in his brain at a time like this? He was just going to say his vow, for goodness' sake! He gulps and trying to erase his thought. "You know that I love you, right? I think I don't have to say that anymore. So.."       "You won't leave me as well, right? Promise me that you will never ever leave me, Lulu.."       Luhan shakes his head couple times. He wants to throw away his brain, like, very badly. Why, why? Why does it have to come now?   The bride whispers, "Luhan, are you okay?" she looks worried and impatient as well. She really wants Luhan to say his vow, like, now! She can not wait any longer.   The guests are murmuring in confusion and they can not find a conclusion why the groom suddenly looks pale and can not say his vow. Luhan just stays quiet and his body is shaking. He can sense hot water are starting to fill his eyes so he just looks down, hoping that he will not cry right here, right now.   "Luhan, what is wrong with you?" the bride asks him, still whispering, but she clearly raises her voice.   The priest look at the 'soon-to-be-newlywed'. "Mister Xi Luhan, do you want to skip your vow? We are running out of time here"   The bride does the heavy breathing. She is angry at her groom, no, she is furious. What the hell is wrong with that guy? He looked just fine before this thing started. Why now, Luhan? Why now? She forces a weird smile at the priest. "Please, just skip this part"   The priest just nods, afraid to say anything else. Because he knows that the bride is angry and probably she will explode any moment soon if he said something wrong or something that would offend her feeling even more. So, he looks at Luhan and continues, "Mister Xi Luhan, do you take Miss Stephanie Hwang to be your lovely wedded wife and cherish every single moment and take care of her with all you might until the day you die?"   The guests are starting to smile again, and so does the bride. She is not just excited, she is also thrilled. She loves Luhan so much until she can not control her feelings. This is the day that she has always been waiting for and finally this day has come. She takes a glance a the groom, who still looks extremely pale.    Luhan swallows down his saliva and starts to speak, "I.."   The priest waits patiently while the guests and the bride, obviously, waiting very impatiently.   Luhan is cold sweating right now. He can not believe that he has to memorize all of those moments right now, on his own wedding day, on the altar. He looks paler and paler and he is trembling. He looks like a sick person. He feels like he doesn't have any strength left. He sighs deeply. "I'm sorry, I can't do this"   The guests gasp in shock ness and jump off of their seats while murmuring. They can not believe this! No? The groom just said that he could not do this wedding thing. He just ruined his own wedding.   The priest opens his mouth in disbelief.   And the bride...   Luhan gulps and tries to speak to his bride.. Or not. "Fany.." he says softly. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I really love you, I really do. But, I.. I think I'm not ready yet"   The bride chuckles bitterly. She is crying, but there is definitely and anger in those tears. "Not ready yet, huh?" her voice is husky as she tries to speak again. "You ruined this beautiful day, Luhan. You just ruined the day that I've always been waiting for. You just ruined OUR wedding. You ruined everything!" she screams, making the guests feel awkward.   The host doesn't know what to do so he politely asks the guests and the priest to leave the church, leaving the 'not-soon-to-be-newlywed' by themselves. He even asks their parents to leave the church for a moment to give them some space. The bride's father starts to yell at every person that he sees, especially the groom's parents. Of course, he thought that this day would be the best day in his daughter's life. But, what actually just happened was clearly the opposite of best. This day is the WORST day for his daughter. He knows that for sure.   Luhan holds her shoulders. "Baby, please listen to me. I'm so sorry.. I didn't mean to ruin this, it's just that..."   Tiffany glares at him. "Just.. What?" she gets no answer. Luhan just stays quiet, doesn't know what to say to his bride.. Or not his bride. Tiffany raises her voice. "Just what, Xi Luhan? Because of her, right? You still love her, am I right?" still no answer. "Answer me! I'm right, aren't I? Speak to me!"   Luhan gives up and nods his head. Yes, it is because of 'her'. Because he still loves 'her' and Tiffany already knew that. "Fany, I.."   A loud slap lands on his cheek.   Ouch.   She must be very angry right now, she must be furious. But no one can blame her, absolutely no one. It was not even her fault, the groom did the fault. "Don't you dare talking to me ever again" she says coldly while wiping her tears, then she storms out the door while crying. Again.   Luhan falls down on his knees and starts crying. It has been a very long time ever since he cried last time. He curses himself and keeps cursing. He feels like throwing his organs and just die right after he throws every part of them. He really hopes his heart will stop beating any moment soon.   Ten seconds.. His heart is still beating.   Thirty seconds... He is still breathing.   Sixty seconds... His heart is still beating and he is still breathing.   He sits hopelessly on the floor, still crying, still cursing. He is clueless. What did just happen? He just ruined his wedding, he just made the love of his life left him, he just made everyone disappointed.    And it's just because of her...       Flashback     It all happened when Luhan, out of nowhere, decided to go to the campus' library. He was still twenty years old back then. He just experienced how college life is and he was exhausted. He never thought that college would be so tough and tiring. So, there he was, checking the bookshelf one by one to find a book that would make him interested to read it. He drew a light smile when he finally found a Chinese book that told about the ancient kung fu. He's Chinese, so of course he likes Chinese cultures and stories.   He took a seat by an opened window because it was spring at that time and he loved the spring breeze. So, he opened his book and started reading while enjoying the wind tickled his face. He was enjoying his moment, while suddenly little bit strands of hair enlaced on one of his shirt's buttons, with a scream followed.   Luhan was shocked and tried to unchained the hair without even looking at the girl. He clearly sure that it was a girl's hair and it was a girl's scream. He knew that for sure. After he finally unchained the hair, he let out a sigh of relief and so did the girl.   "Mianhae.. And thank you" the girl said and taking a seat right in front of him. Then, she started reading.   Luhan nodded his head while stealing a glance at her. And right after that, there he was, amazed while holding a book without even tried to continue his reading because he was too mesmerized by the girl's beauty. She's such a pretty girl, with a long hair and a skinny figure. And her face.. She's a goddess, that's what he knew for sure.   Without him realizing, he lent his hand. "My name is Xi Luhan. What's yours, Miss?" he smiled slightly at her.   The girl put down her book and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, Luhan-ssi" she gave him a grin. "My name is Im Yoona, but please just call me Yoona"   Luhan scratched the back of his head, because he was confused. What should he say next? He needed to think of something. "Ah, well.. Just call me Luhan" the girl nodded her head while giving him a light smile. "Hope we can be friends, uhm.. Yoona" then, he stood up and took out his cellphone. "May I have your number?"   Yoona nodded her head and mentioned her number.     But... It was only a beginning for both of them.       *****       December, 23rd 2009 Asan Medical Center     Yoona was looking hopelessly at the window. She saw Christmas trees everywhere. It was almost Christmas. And there she was, laying hopelessly on the hospital's bed which not comfy at all. She hated every single thing about hospital, especially the aroma and the bed. She sighed couple times. She looked at the infuse interval which kept intravenous feeding her.   Why did she have to be this weak?   She sighed again. She just almost died, luckily she still could be saved. Consider her lucky. The doctor told her that if she got another attack, it could be the last, which meant that she could just die.   God was unfair, at least to her, god was unfair. Why did everyone else was so healthy even though they were all mean people? Why did it have to be her? It was almost Christmas and just like the other girls, she just wanted to spend the Christmas' Eve with a guy that she loved. But, why did it was so hard for her?   She heard a knock on the door and without she had the chance to say 'come in', the person came in already. "Yoongie baby, I'm here again. Look what I bought" Luhan said, while grinning widely and showing her a rilakkuma doll. "I know you love rilakkuma, probably you love it better than you love me" he chuckled. He sat on a chair beside the bed and gave the rilakkuma to her.   Yoona did not take the doll. She looked at the ceiling, expressionless. She completely ignored him. "Why are you here again?"   Luhan frowned. "You don't like the doll? That's strange. Come on, take this thing" he said, while holding Yoona's hand. He put the rilakkuma in between her hands.   Yoona threw the doll away and she said coldly. "I told you not to come here anymore"   Luhan smiled slightly. He stood up and picked up the rilakkuma. "Ah~ so Yoongie doesn't want a rilakkuma. Then, what do you want, baby?"   "Answer me! Why are you here?" she raised her voice, more like a shout. Her face just turned red because of anger and embarrassment. She got up and sat on the bed while looking at Luhan's back, since he was not facing her.   Luhan chuckled slightly. "Well then, probably Yoongie wants something else. What could it be? A cotton candy?" he said, still not facing her.   "Xi Luhan!" she shouted again. "Stop eluding! Just answer me!" she grabbed a book from the desk beside her and held it high. "I told you not to come here anymore, didn't I? Then why are you still here, why did you come again?" she gripped the book tightly and emphasized her next words. "Go away or I'll throw this book at your head. This is one thick book, I'm telling you" Luhan didn't respond, he didn't even move. He just stood still. "I'm serious, Xi Luhan!"   Silence for a moment. Luhan didn't move, even for a bit. Yoona kept panting because of anger and because she was too emotional. "Go away!" she shouted again, still grabbing the book.   "I'm not going anywhere" Luhan answered with a flat but deep voice.   Yoona swallowed down her saliva. "Th-then I'll throw this book at you" she stuttered. No, she was just bluffing, she just wanted him to leave because she felt pathetic and she didn't want him to see this side of her.   Luhan turned around so he could see her face, her swollen eyes and her angry expression. He sighed and walked towards her. "Just throw it at me, but I'm not going anywhere"   Yoona opened her eyes in disbelief. Why did he so stubborn? "W-why you..." she was speechless. She had no clue at all. What should she do? Did she have to throw the book at him for real? No, of course she couldn't do that. Her body started trembling and suddenly she felt cold. She dropped the book and hugged herself.   Luhan sat at the same chair like before and looked deep into Yoona's eyes with pleading eyes. "Baby, please.. I can't go anywhere, I have to stay here, I need to stay here. So please, don't force me to go"    Yoona could feel tears started to fill her eyes, she hugged herself even tighter than before. Cold, why did it was so cold? She wore thick pajamas, so why?   Luhan let out a sigh and held her hands. "See? Your hands are cold" he kept caressing her hands with his. "If I left you, who would give your hands warmth, Yoongie? You said that I was the only one who could make you feel warm, right? And I'm still the one, baby" he kept caressing her hands while sometimes kissing them until her hands felt warm.   A tear dropped from Yoona's eyes, but she wiped it right away. No, she could not let Luhan be by her side. He was a handsome and kind-hearted guy, too good for her, even in her dreams. She should let him go, she should force him to leave. "No, go away" she looked away from him.   "You have me on your palms, Yoona. So don't worry, you won't be alone. I'll be here with you" he held her hands tighter, like he really didn't want to let her go, didn't care whatever happen. "I will hug you every time you feel cold, so you don't have to hug yourself like what you just did. I will laugh with you every time you feel happy. I will hold your hands and intertwine our fingers, so you will feel saved whenever you're with me. I will be a shoulder for you to cry on. I will kiss you everyday so you will feel loved, I'll sing a lullaby before you go to sleep every night.."   A tear dropped again from Yoona's eyes, followed by another. She didn't feel like wiping them away, she just let them dropped one by one. She looked at Luhan, who was holding her hands tightly, not wanting to let them go. Really, she didn't deserve it. She didn't deserve his love. He should have given it to other girl who deserved it better than her. Because Yoona knew that she could not be the one for him.   Because she knew that she would leave him soon.   Because she knew that she would not give him happiness.   Because she knew that she would hurt him in the end by leaving him all alone.   Because she knew that she would not be by his side forever.   "Either high or low, just remember that I'm always here" he kissed her hands, again. "I'm always by your side. Whatever happens, I will stand by you. I promise you forever, Yoongie.."   Yoona started sobbing as the tears kept falling from her beautiful eyes. She trembled even more.   Luhan looked at her and wiped her tears. "Baby, please stop crying. I don't wanna see you cry" he caressed her cheeks and she kept crying. "Please, stop crying. I didn't mean to make you cry like this, Yoongie. I'm sorry..." he pecked her lips, her cold and pale lips. Yoona stopped crying as he kissed her again. Again, again, he kissed her again. He promised that he would kiss her everyday, didn't he? He kissed