It’s funny how people disregard the most important things

Important things like appreciating one’s effort for him

Once we don’t appreciate, in the end, it will be remorse.

 

 

*********************************************************************

 

2002

 

I’m at the park right now, looking around and feeling annoyed. I hate it. Since last month, I needed to be with this stupid girl out of a sudden. Who is she anyway? Is she Jung Soojung? I’ve known her though I didn’t like her. She has a nice face and morale but she’s deceased. Don’t take it seriously, I meant she doesn’t have two complete feet, well she doesn’t have any. Disabled one, she is.

 

“Jongin, could you help me sit at that bench right there near the tree?” I hate her voice. I hate everything about her. I just rolled my eyes and pulled her arm. She better work herself out because I am not her butler.

 

I wish I didn’t meet her at all.

 

“Couldn’t we just go back home? We can’t even do anything here. Just look at you!” I muttered while I folded my arms at the level of my chest. Everyone’s looking at us and I don’t like it. Just look on what she’s doing to me. She’s humiliating me.

 

“You can’t do it. Our parents would be mad if you won’t help—“

 

“Yah, fine, whatever.” I gritted my teeth, clenching my fists. She’s a pain in my head. People like her shouldn’t be in this world.

 

We sat down at the bench. She was looking at me, smiling. I raised a brow telling her to stop it but then she didn’t stop and she even touched my hand.

 

“Would you just give a distance?” I stood up from my seat and glared at her. “It doesn’t mean they told us to be together, I like you. I can’t like a girl without feet. You’re disgusting!”

 

I don’t feel guilt on my heart. I know she deserved it right. She lowered her head and started sobbing. I pushed her to the bench with my bare hands and left her there. I’m neither her brother nor her cousin.

 

*********************************************************************

 

2008

 

This might be the worst year ever. She’s going with the same school with me. I knew Soojung’s supposed to have home schooling but since her parents insisted the school and they’re super rich. They brib—no, enrolled her here.

 

“Wow, just look at this Jongin oppa, everything is so nice here!” Soojung looked like a little girl who just opened her eyes to the outside world at 14 years of age.

 

“Nice? I don’t even like it here.” I blurted out myself, looking straight to my way. This guy won’t care what she wants to do at this school and neither can she care for me.

 

“You don’t like studying, that’s it, Mr. Kim!” That smile of hers. It’s so irritating. I shook my head, taking a grip of my bag. I looked from afar and I see Kyungsoo together with Joonmyun walking towards our direction.

 

Cripes, what would I do with Soojung?!

 

“Uhm, Soojung, could you go to the other way? I’ll meet you later!” She looked confused and there’s no sign she’s going to accept my offer. I glared at her then shouted. “If you do not go by now, you wouldn’t like what I will do to y—“

 

I didn’t have the chance to finish my warning since Joonmyun tapped my shoulder already. Good luck to me. Yay, no.

 

“Hey Jongin-ah!” Kyungsoo yelled at my right ear as he throws confetti on my head. The janitor from afar is already having his negative aura at us. Well, he can’t do anything since we pay right at the school.

 

I snapped back to reality when Joonmyun looked closer to Soojung’s face and laughed.

 

“Who is she? Or maybe what is this?” Kyungsoo started laughing at him, getting attention from the people around us.

 

“Annyeong, I’m Jung Soojung. I’m Kim Jongin’s friend, nice to meet you!” Soojung bowed to Joonmyun and lend her hand to him. Bad move Soojung!

 

“Friend of Kim Jongin, You’re a friend of Kim Jongin?!” Joonmyun’s voice rose as he said my name, he grinned at me and I shook my head instantly.

 

“I’m not her friend. She’s just---- too delusional! She’s a stalker! I’m handsome, you know!” I put myself back up and Kyungsoo nods in agreement. Joonmyun on the other hand, shook his head and laughed. I looked back to Soojung who stopped herself from saying anything anymore. She must be used to it.

 

“Really, if that’s so true, why won’t you push her wheeled chair and laugh?” I widened my eyes from what Joonmyun had asked me to say. I can hear Soojung’s gulp and held her chair. “Oh lookie, little missy here is getting scared, go Jongin-ah!”

 

JONGIN! JONGIN! JONGIN!

 

As I have said, they’ve drawn attention and now everybody’s cheering my name. I guess this will help me gain my popularity, so why don’t I try?

 

I went near to Soojung and in no matter of second, I aimed for big force, I was in the mood until.

 

“STOP!” Mr. oh-so-I’m-a-knight-in-shining-armour, his surname is Oh. I didn’t like this guy either. I sensed he wanted to help Soojung and I think he’s a perfect fit. They’re both weird.

 

“Oh, that’s great Sehun! You’re the hero now!” I taunted with victory. I don’t care if he’s the principal’s grandson or the top one of the class but he’s too kind and witty. Everybody’s a critique.

 

“Just leave her alone.” My friends looked at me and I shrugged. I smiled to everyone and we all moved out. I turned my back and left her there.

 

-

 

“Jongin, what have you done?!” Blah, blah, blah that’s what I hear from Mr. and Mrs. Kim (my parents). We just got home from the school since they were called by Mr. Oh (the old man). It’s been a week since that incident happened.

 

“Do you know you’re being immoral? And we just knew you insulted Soojung!” My loving father asked and yelled at me. See? They care for that girl too much and I hate it. “You should have done better! You could have better friends and you should have preotected Soojung!”

 

“Why would I? She’s neither a relative nor a close friend to me! All this time, you all forced us to get close with one another!”

 

“You just don’t know! Didn’t you ..”

 

“Mrs. Kim, no, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have been annoying your son.” Whether she does that or not, I still don’t like her.

 

“See, she—“

 

“Just stop it! Get up to your room and you’re grounded!” I threw my things at the floor and stopped myself from crying. Moreover, I have a flashing red mark at my right cheek.

 

 

 

*********************************************************************

 

2013

 

11 years of taking care of this horrible pain. I’m already 20 but it seemed like I’m still with Soojung and everybody’s teasing me. They say she’s my girlfriend or so that’s why I’m taking distance from her and go kiss those other girls. I can handle myself to be issued with those s but not with a deceased girl like her.

 

Whatever happened 5 years ago, it is still fine with her. Maybe because I got grounded for the rest of my life and my parents had always said “If only you knew…” “You wouldn’t understand...””You’re so stupid, Jongin.” I’m in the car, going in to school. Just think of it. I still don’t have my car and I’m staying with this girl. At least, I get a free ride, that’s pretty good.

 

“Jong----“

 

“It’s Kai.” I changed my name. My parents don’t even love me. They care about this girl more than me. To be honest, I’m living by myself though I still have to follow their ‘commands’.

 

“Kai, could you please get my bags right there?”

 

 

She asks while her maid helps her fix her wheelchair. I scanned the place before someone sees us from here. Luckily, nobody is. I took her bags and gave it to her security guards. “I’ll see you, never.”

 

I’ve always said those words yet it’s no use. I always see her near me. Somehow, I could try to say ‘I’ll see you later.’ But it makes me vomit. No use at all.

 

-

 

“Hmpf… Kai, you’re so good at this.” Whoever this is, she’s biting her lip, arms around my neck, with no blouse while I’m here, her neck.

 

She wanted to take off my pants but I beat her to it. Even though she’s the school president (that’s why were having it at the guidance office) I can’t let her. I can’t believe all girls are just the same. She just kept on as I touch every part of her. I’m getting bored until someone came.

 

“Jongin.” A soft whisper it is. It’s familiar, very familiar. It’s from the girl who I met year 2002.

 

I stopped my self and looked at her, helpless. She has a tear on her right eye, a sign of a weakling.

 

“Ew. Who is she? Don’t tell me Kai, this is your girlfriend.” I glared at that girl and wiped my lips. I moved out disregarding the calls of that school president.

 

“Jongin, please wait.” She moved her moving chair towards me but I kept on walking. I let everybody thing she’s a weird stalker and creeper. I can sense she’s having a very hard time moving those big wheels with her self, alone. “Why are you with Ms. Im? Isn’t she the school president? Yoona unnie is supposed to…”

 

“Shut up. You don’t care on what I want to do or who I want to so just get off my life!” She breathed heavily since I know she’s used to it. I brushed my feet and left her there. I saw Tao and Kris waiting for me and smirked at them.

 

I ran towards them leaving the sight of Soojung with that blonde guy.

 

I got no business with Jung Soojung and never will I have.

 

*********************************************************************

 

June 2029

 

“Appa! Where’s my ice cream?”

 

“Here you go, Taemin. Just leave some for me, ok?”

 

“NO! This is all for Taemin!” This boy is too irresistible to decline. I’m now happily living my life with my 5 year-old son, Taemin and wife, Choi Jinri.

 

If you’re asking about that girl, I never saw her again since I told her to get out of my life. It has been 16 years. Well, I just don’t talk to her anymore and neither did she, at last. She had that Oh Sehun by her side anyway.

 

At graduation, only our parents got the guts to talk and ourselves only to each other’s parents. Since then, I never heard anymore about her. Precheers!

 

“Ah, that’s bad!” Jinri shakes her index finger to our son and I pecked her on the cheek.

 

“He’s just like you.” I , holding her near to me. She punched my arm playfully, I wanted to laugh but I heard someone from behind.

 

“Kim Jongin?”

 

“OHHHHH, she doesn’t have any feeeeeeeet! What are you?” I felt curious. It was the same scene I had for the most of my life. She tried to smile at my son but he cried out of a sudden.

 

“Who are you?! How dare you make my baby cry?” Jinri shouted at her with annoyance. She didn’t respond since she was just looking at me. Her eyes, it’s so dark and full of sorrow. “Do you know this woman?”

 

Jinri asked me this time and as I looked at her, I shook my head.

 

“Let’s just go.”

 

“But why did she say Kim Jongin?” Jinri raised her brow, lifting up Taemin, still curious.

 

I took a glance of Soojung who answered. “Maybe he’s not the Jongin, I knew. I’m sorry.” She took a bow and she moved her wheels. From afar, I saw Oh Sehun from the high school years, waving at Soojung to come near. We had eye contact, as I’ve known. I’m not really sure if he was looking at me.

 

I turned around with my family and left her there.

 

I left her there, again.

 

 

*********************************************************************

 

October 2029

 

It was supposed to be an ordinary Sunday morning. It’s October 24 and I’m relaxing myself to the sunlight. My wife and son had gone for grocery shopping and I’m all alone at our house. It’s been 4 months since I saw her again but I don’t know, I guess I was just used to seeing her before.

 

Few minutes later, I heard the door bell ringing, I wonder if they already came back but it’s impossible. I knew I gave Jinri the keys to the house and the car hasn’t arrived yet. I looked from the house window and I saw a familiar face. It was Oh Sehun.

 

I went outside to check his business. He looked depressed. Well, he always looked like that haha.

 

“What’s up?” I opened the gate, staring at his blank face.

 

“Soojung, she’s… she’s gone. She can’t stand the disability anymore.”

 

I just realized, Jung Soojung is gone? She’s gone where, Paris, America? No, Jongin. She’s dead. I didn’t want to believe but neither did I cry. I narrowed my eyes at Sehun who started crying and kneeled in front of me.

 

“Please. Can you come to her—“

 

“No. I’m sick of checking her always. And why would you get here? I’m not her brother or relative? I’ve been asking everyone that. So just, get lost.” I was in the action of coming back inside when he held my feet, it was harsh.

 

“Well, if you don’t want to even care for her, then just read this! Ever since, you were kids, you neither care nor love her! You’re just stupid aren’t you?! Didn’t you know you’re lucky to have her by your side when you were 8?” Sehun stood up, stomping his feet to the ground. His statement felt like the complete message of what people around me has been saying. Though, we didn’t meet when we were 8, right? We were 9 by that time. He turned around and went back in his car then drove away.

 

This time, I was left there.

 

-

 

It has been a week since I received the letter.

 

Although, there was something peculiar of what Sehun said, I didn’t care yet I became curious again. I heard Soojung got her last goodbye already and I didn’t came anyway.

 

I wanted to throw the letter but its still there at the shelf. I was too harsh when she was still alive and I shouldn’t be now she’s gone. Haist. I took the letter and thought it was beautiful.

 

I opened the letter and read it. I bet this is all about the ignorance but I guess it’s not. It’s not, it really isn’t. No.

 

Dear Kim Jongin,

 

          This might be a little awkard after some years we didn’t get to talk to each other. You told me to get out of your life and it’s time when we were 20, I let you. You were saying that for the nth time already. I understand.

         I know, I always and maybe forever be humiliating you in front of everyone. Why would you have a disabled girl beside you? From when we were 9 at the park, the first time we were together from what happened, I only smiled to your mutterings and understood all of it.

         At the school, I understand why you had to do that. Only, I didn’t understand the last time. You were making out with Im Yoon Ah and I’m jealous. You can laugh by now, I love you. You were my first love. You were my first love, I had to do it.

         I met you 4 months ago but I never thought you would take a girl seriously, no, Choi Jinri is just lucky. She’s very fortunate she has you and two complete feet. I love you.

 

I did not understand. Why would she love me after all of that? I thought it was Sehun. Did all she care is about these looks? Anyway, what did she have to do?

 

          We met back in 2008 you might think it was 2009 if only it wasn’t because of that accident. We were friends back then and you always have asked me to go out with you and pick those flowers that I didn’t approve. You showed your anger because of my denial and you ran far from our garden. You ran and I chased you. I chased you up to where you stopped to the street. I looked at the right side where I see a truck moving fast. You were there. You were at the middle of the street. You stopped. You didn’t know and neither did I. all I just knew is that I had to. I had to let you live. I pushed you to the grass but you bumped to a rock and my knees crashed to the ground, laying myself there. The enormous vehicle continued until my knees served as its humps.

        It was painful you know? Haha. I held on the ground, crying and seeing you with blood on your head. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I let you bump your head there. I’m very sorry. I should have done better.

         I accepted my fate with my feet. I didn’t want to have the new ones because I was scared. I’m fine with it. It was for you. It was worth it. Don’t worry I’m fine. Sehun was there by my side all the time. I loved him though I had loved you more. Maybe because I have put my own happiness for you, in just few more minutes, I’ll be leaving you. I’ll be leaving you permanently. I hope you’re happier now. I just wanted to write this even I knew you wouldn’t cry :). Saranghaeyo Jongin-ah!

 

Goodbye.

 

xoxo,

Jung Soojung    

 

 

********************************************************************

 

Author’s note:

 

Oh my gosh! I’m sorry if I didn’t satisfy you… this is my first time and I just wrote this in one day since my KaiStal feels are knocking me. Haha. I hope you liked it. Please leave your comments down there and I would be very happy. I'm thinking of making Krystal's Point of View of the story. Tell me if you want though haha. Thank you!