I feelt like dying.I didn't rememberd what happend after the acident.I was sure that some days passed since it happend.

I couldnt feel anything.I...I just heard sounds,I wasnt really sure what sound it was,talking or music?It was so blure,almost unhearable.

Maybe I heard Sohyun,my girlfriend?I'm sure she's worried about me,I want to tell her that everything is alright so she wont feel guiltly.I bet she feel that way,she was driving car that day.But It's not her fault,not only her.

I tried to speak, but I didnt even felt my mouth open,or if any sound came out.Didnt felt any vibe of voice in my throat.

* * *

Days passed and nothing changed.I was in darkness all the time.Even my dreams,I didnt seen them.I was just there.,I didnt even know WHERE I am.Most likely in hospital,but I couldnt tell.

Maybe I'm dead...I'm not a Christian but I tought It would be diffrent.I dont even know what I expected, but THIS?Damn it.

* * * 

Sounds seems to be volumed.I heard today something like openingwindow,sound of high heels and some sort of machine to help with breathong.I know because my mom ussed it few times.

* * * 

The sound is very clearly now.I hear it all.I'm in hospital for sure and I am alive.I heard it from talk of doctors.

I still dont know what day,month, or even year it's.Time pass so slowly right now for me.

I dont think it's more than two weeks from that incident.

* * *

-Hello brother... -I heard voice of my sister Minah.She sounds so sad.I'm not surrprised.Our mom is in hospital and now also me.

-Please,wake up soon...-Now I heard sou d of pulled chair.

She was there for some time, but she didnt said anything more.

-How is he?From a strong voice I guess it's Jay,my brother-in-law,her husband.

-No changes.She sighted.

-While Sohyun is alright now...She sounds so angry.

Why?It's a good thing there is only one injuried.

-I heared her leg and arm are still broken.Jay inform my sister.

I was really intested in their conversation.Maybe I'll found out something more.

-But that is in her home!You don't understand?It's her fault!Becouse of she, Minsoo is there!Minah yelled bitter.

-You dont know what really happend.Her husband tried to calm her down.

-So why she don't wan't to to start judicial process?!She know it's her fault...Minah started to cry.

-Please don't cry honey.You will see,Minsoo will woke up some day.Just wait for it.Man told calmy.

-And she left him...Just becouse of what doctor said.My nonna sobs quietly.

So she left me?Becouse I'm in hospital?How...I thought she had some feelings for me...

-I just feel so bad that we also need to leave him.Woman declare.

W-What does she mean?

-We can't do anothing about it.Jay sighted and I heraed the door closing.

-Sorry Minsoo...

 

* * *

I didn't hear my sister since that day.But something changed.Yesterday I felt like my eyelid moved.Even if it's a big progress,In my mind lately are only things about death.I mean I'm at my end of endure.I just really want to die.I heared im here for 1 month right now.One month and I want to die so badly.I couldn't take another month or more.

..."living" as a plant for ing year?

It's like waiting for miracle,and I don't belive in miracles.

 

* * *

I woke up...like really finaly woke up.I opens my eyes,I didnt seen well,everything was indistinct.

When doctors found out,they toke me to somes researchs.

I didn't move by myself,they took me on wheelvhair.

* * *

Everyone keeps saying it's a miracle and I must be happy.But I'm not..Spending days in hospital,just with my eyes and ears.So what?Is it could named "living"?I hate it.I am so embarrased.Nurses are changing my clothes,washing me, they even changes my diaper which they first put one.

it all!No one asked if I want it!

I don't feel like a human.

My pride is dying on the base of this .If I can tell I still had it.

* * *

Another month passed.I had many rehabilitations,also I can talk a little.

My doctor came to my room.

-How are you?Feeling good today?Older man asked and sited on chair.

-Bad.I rolled my eyes.

-Since you are better now,we need to send you back to home.He told like it was a good news.

-Funny.I smirked.How the I Suppost to get out of ere by myself?I can't even on my own.I can only see thing,still a bit blury,I can hear everything,tell few words and I can barely move.

-Oh,since you can talk a bit ,maybe you want to ask about your condition.Finally I will hear what is exacly wrong with me.

-Yes!I rised my voice.

-You had injuried your brain,exacly two parts.Parietal lobe and Cerebellar lobe.Is he make fun of me?I want to know detail about it's effect.

-Neutrons from your brain didnt send right signals thats why you have problem with moving.With some more rehabilitation I think It would get better.But sadly there is no chance that you will be able to do any action like sports,never again.You'll have also problem with control your hands.

He continious

-As you realize your sense of feeling touch is also damaged.Same go with your cordination and your bowel control.

It was like a judgement.So...to end of my life someone will have to wipe my ?No...NO!I can't live like this!

-How long?I asked with sorrow in my voice.

-Can't tell.Brain is very sensitive.But please keep positive mind Mr. with time of rehabilitation it all should get better.Maybe some day you will be able to live almost like before.

-Bull...I said angry.So all this time which I spend here just to get this?How I can live happily?

I'll just kill myself,I will not take this anymore.

-In one hour there will come person which will take care of you.The doctor stands up.

-Your sisters hire him since they can't help you.Soon he left the room.

What another stranger will see me in this disgusting position?

Everything just went better and better.

Girlfriend left me when I was in coma,sisters dosent really care about me.I'm all alone in this piteous contition.

My father left me when I was a kid.When I was 17,my mom get seriously sick and she needed to went to special hospital.Her mom toke care of me and my siblings.Now im 23,and live alone,work for myself and study on university.And it get all ed up.I can't live like I was before.And there is no one from family who could take care of me.

* * *

I waited this hour for this person,what else I could do?It's not my choice.

Finitelly in door showed a short blonde hair guy.

-Hello,My name is Lee Byunghun,and I'll take care of you.