Chapter 1: The Curse

He sat silently in his seat, feeling the coldness of the metal bench against his bare hands. The wind was cold, almost numbing his pale cheeks as it caressed him. The sky was dark and empty, with only the moon and him to be seen. Though everything seemed so dull and lifeless, that small hint of laughter could be heard from a far distance. So far and so faint he could barely hear it yet it felt like a scream to his ears.

"Donghae..."

That sweet laughter that grazed his skin, warming him for a second until it burned. That soft voice that softened his heart, melting it to a point that it no longer existed. That gentle sound of her breath that filled his life, overflowing it until nothing was left. Those priceless words that turned worthless.

"Donghae..." 

Life seemed beautiful at first but bit by bit it turned around and slapped him hard across the face. Life felt so good at first but bit by bit it started to sting. No matter how much it pained him, hurted him, killed him, how come every wound he felt had that slight hint of ease, hint of happiness, hint of her laughter. Was pain soothing? Was pain the only way to escape the numbness and the emptiness? Was it worth to suffer just so she could be happy? 

"Donghae-ah!" 

Her long hair flew gently with the wind, revealing her beautiful face. Her pale yet tinted pink skin looked bright, filled with youth. Her eyes were wide open, glimmering with curiosity and a thirst for adventure. Her pink lips were curled up to a beautiful smile.

It felt so good yet so painful to see her smile like that. Even though she was looking directly at him, he felt as if her eyes were looking at someone else. He felt invisible, as if he wasn't even there.

"Donghae you're not even listening to a word I'm saying!" she stood up abruptly and ran towards Donghae. 

Before he could react, she wrapped her arms around his neck, strangling him tightly but not strong enough to hurt him. 

"I can't believe you're ignoring your noona!" she whined loudly into his ear as she giggled cheerfully. 

"I was listening noona..." Donghae defended himself effortlessly as he laid back in his seat comfortably, pretending her effort wasn't enough to punish him. 

Though in fact it was more than enough. The feeling of her warm breath against his skin, the smell of her rosy shampoo and the softness of her skin against his neck tortured every inch of his body. It took up all of his strength to control his urge to hug her and keep her close to him forever. He wanted to kiss her, whisper sweet words that would make her blush. Hear her say those perfect three words that he longed for all this time.

"You were obviously wandering off in the middle of my amazing story! What were you thinking of huh?" she paused for a moment before she placed both of her palms on his cheeks. 

Gently she turned him around to face her. Their noses only a few centimeters apart and their eyes connected with their position.

"Is it a girl?" she gasped loudly, removing one of her hands from his face to cover her own mouth.

His body began to tremble at her touch. His heartbeat increased with pace and strength as he stared into her beautiful, brown eyes. His cheeks glowed red as he felt her face lean closer to his. Even the small hints of stress under her eyes made him fall in love. Every part of her, he loved them all, from her small feet to each strand of her hair. To him, she was perfect. If only she knew, would it change anything? 

"Omo you're blushing! It is a girl! How can you keep this a secret from me huh?!" suddenly she pinched his arm before she attacked him once again, strangling him tighter this time. 

"Noona I can't breath!" Donghae pretended to cough but his exaggerated acting was too unprofessional for Dara to believe his lies.

"I won't let you go until you tell me a name!" she chuckled hysterically, feeling overly proud of her imagined superiority.

Donghae couldn't help but smile at her adorable gestures. If only moments like these lasted forver, would he be happier? Would his life be better if he stopped time. Just him and Dara, no one else. Being able to see her mature in beauty. Watch her grow as a beautiful wife and a caring mother. He dreamed the most beautiful dreams but he knew the bitter truth would always be stronger. 

"Aigoo Sandara you're bullying our maknae again." a tall figure appeared in the background. 

His firm body stood brightly against the dark background of the night sky. His handsome face was the perfect frame for that alluring smile. Donghae knew it well, that man was perfect. No matter what that man would always be better, stronger and more perfect. Not because of who he was, but because of who he had right by his side. 

"Jagiya!" without second thoughts, Dara left Donghae and ran into the man's arms. 

Donghae felt the cold wind instantly numbing him, freezing the tears that threatened to fall as he watched him wrap his arms around her back. Slowly their faces leaned closer together until their lips touched so painfully. It was like the world buried another arrow straight into his heart until eventually one day it decides to finish his sufferings and end his life. But he wanted to stay strong and see her smile forever. Even if it meant watching from a far distance, he would be content.

"I missed you so much Joongki." she smiled widely as she gently caressed his soft cheeks. 

"I missed you too Sandara." he placed his own hand on hers, trapping her between his enchanting face and firm hands. 

Donghae clenched his fist until his knuckled turned white. He wanted to pull her away and run as fast as he could and as far as he could. He wanted to keep her to himself but he knew he shouldn't, he wouldn't. Joongki was his bestfriend, his brother, the guy who had been right by his side ever since they were young. 

Even back then Joongki was the stronger one, the adventurous one and the brave one. He was the one who had taken care of him, acted as both the mother and father to him. He protected him, taken care of him and loved him. He owed Joongki his whole life and he would be more than willing to do everything for him too. If only life didn't have to mess everything up, if only that everything didn't have to be Dara.

"Donghae-ah stop pretending to be manly and come greet your hyung!" Joongki playfully, gesturing for Donghae to join their little reunion. 

"You've only been gone for a week hyung." Donghae chuckled lightly, his feelings wavering as he neared the reason for his happiness and bitterness. 

"Aigoo look at this kid! Back then you'd be on your knees crying with snot coming out of your nose eveytime you greet me!" Joongki snortled loudly, instantly wrapping an arm around Donghae's neck without warning. "You're really a grown up man aren't you!?"

"Stop embarrassing me hyung!" Donghae whined quietly, his face almost turning pale from all the strangling he had been gettng from the two. 

Before Joongki could reply, he felt something grab his ear and pull him down forcefully. Donghae bent down instantly upon feeling the pain as he let out a loud groan. 

"Aigoo can't you two greet each other like normal people?" Dara clicked her tongue and rolled her head playfully as he pulled both of the men's ears hardly for a second before she finally let go. 

Both fell on the ground tiredly, panting widely as they faced the dark blue sky.

A few moments later, Dara joined the two men and lied down between them. Together they looked up at the dark sky, feeling the cool wind brush past their skins. It was just like back then. Just the three of them and the world, they felt they could conquer everything and nothing could ever break them apart. 

In the middle of the silence, a weird rumbling sound interrupted their thoughts. 

"I bet you were really supposed to be a dude but you just didn't grow whatever we have!" Joongki chuckled loudly, wrapping his arms around his aching stomach. 

Dara just froze in her spot, her face turning red as she felt her blood flood her face. No matter how close they were and the length of time they had spent with each other. For her it wasn't a good enough excuse to be overly comfortable with them but it turned out her stomach thought so differently.

"Yeah that's probably why you didn't grow any female assets either noona!" Donghae managed to announce in between his hysteric laughs, making Joongki tear up with laughter even more. 

Dara stood up instantly, stomping her feet on both of they stomachs making them curl up in pain but mostly because of laughter. 

"Whatever I'm going back in!" Dara huffed, wrapping her arms across her chest with irritation.

Annoying her about her stomach growling was okay but adding being a man or not having a or ies brought her to the edge of her insanity. 

"Sandara wait!" Joongki took a deep breath as he stood up, trying his best to keep in his laughter. "We're sorry baby!" 

Donghae  watched as Joongki ran after her and quickly wrapped his arm around her shoulders. She pushed it away but he kept repeating it until she finally gave in. From something so beautiful, his world could turn upside down with one blink. Why couldn't he be happy? Happy for them, happy for their friendship. Why couldn't he accept that it is no longer the three of them, it was just the two of them and him? He wasn't part of the story, he was just the supporting actor. Why couldn't he accept that? Why couldn't he just stop loving someone who could never be his? Why was his heart so stubborn?

Donghae stood up slowly, brushing off the dirt before he took a step. One after the other, he felt his heart being pulled away from him again. Like it was leading him to some place he knew he shouldn't be, and that was her. As he got closer, he could feel his heart beating fast like it wanted to escape his stubborn body. 

As he reached the door, he took a deep breath and peeked through the gap. 

"It's just around the corner. It would only take a minute to get there." Joongki explained clearly while Donghae could see the doubtful expression on Dara's face. 

"It's okay baby I can eat cinnamon rolls tomorrow." Dara convinced him as she pulled on Joongki's sleeve. 

"It's okay I'm craving for them anyway. I'll bring Donghae with me." he reached out his hand and caressed her cheek gently. 

"But.. you just got here." she whispered as she closed her eyes and a tear flowed down her pink cheeks. 

Donghae could see a small smile formed on Joongki's face. He took a step closer to Dara and pulled her closer to him. Slowly he leaned down and planted a sweet peck on her forehead. 

"I'll be back baby, I promise." he smiled warmly as he wiped her tear with his thumb. 

Joongki took a step back to grab his jacket. Donghae quickly took a few steps back as if he was only on his way there. 

"We'll be back in 5 minutes baby!" he waved goodbye as he opened the door fully. 

Before he took a step out, he stopped and slowly he turned around and faced her. 

"I'll always love you Sandara Park, never forget that." he smiled warmly

-----------------------

"How are your studies going?" Joongki asked curiously, glancing at Donghae for a second before returning his focus on the road. 

"Nothing out of the ordinary." Donghae answered plainly, not really in the mood to talk about his studies that he found boring. 

"Aigoo just because you're really smart you don't have to keep rubbing it on my face you know!" Joongki chuckled as he shook his head playfully. 

He had always wondered how Donghae could be so laid back with his studies yet earn high grades for the little work he had put in. He was probably really that naturally smart, talented and gifted. Joongki knew that but he couldn't help but get surprised everytime Donghae shows him his grades or tell him news that he got elected student council president even when he didn't run. Joongki knew Donghae would get so far in life that someday he might not even be able to catch up. Sometimes he couln't help but feel proud but bitter at the same time. The thought of living without Donghae, his bestfriend, his brother, really scared him. 

"Donghae about Dara and I. I...uhm..I." Joongki paused for a second, unsure if he should continue or not since he wasn't sure about his own decision either. 

His heart was telling him it was the right thing to do but his head is telling him that it wasn't the right time. He needed to suceed in his career first, ensure a better future for the three of them before he thinks of his own selfish desires.

"You what hyung?" Donghae mumbled curiously, looking at his hyung who was focused on the road.

"I want to ask her to marry me." 

"...marry me." 

"...me." 

Those words kept echoing in his mind, printing itself on his thoughts until it was permanently stamped. The day he had feared all this time had finally come. The moment where he finally loses her, the moment where he needed to accept he could no longer have her, the moment he needed to realise that there was no chance. 

He wanted to jump out of the moving car and end his misery there and then. He wanted to slice himself into pieces to try to distract him from the pain in his heart. He wanted to scrape off the parts that loved her but how could he if all of it belonged to her? It hurted so much to see her in his arms and now he would have to see her walk up that aisle. Bit by bit nearing him but when she arrived, she took somebody else's hand.

How could he give up the woman he had loved from the second he laid his eyes on her. At that second he already knew he was in love with that girl in the white dress and pink lips. It broke his heart that he wouldn't be the one that would take care of her, love her and care for her. She was somebody else's. 

"Donghae I'm so in love with her that I'm going crazy." Joongki chuckled lightly as his grip on the steering wheel tightened. 

Shouldn't he be happy for the both of them? They were both madly in love with each other and they would be more than willing to sacrifice and do anything for each other. It hurted so much that he coud offer the same thing yet he wasn't the one picked. Why was it Joongki and not him? What did he have that he didn't? What did he lack? If only someone could tell him he'd try to get it right away. He wouldn't waste a second. Why wouldn't anybody tell? Why wouldn't she give him a chance? Give him a chance to show her how much he loved her.

"What should I do Donghae?" Joongki whispered, a tear glistening on his cheek as it slowly fell down, tracing his jaw line.

He wanted to tell him don't, he didn't deserve her. He wanted to scream at Joongki, tell him everything he wouldn't be able to do for her. Shout at him for making her cry everytime he leaves. Scream at him for making her worry until she couldn't sleep at night. Punch him for makng her fall in love for someone that wasn't him. He wanted to yell, he hated him.

He wanted to do all of that but he knew he shouldn't, he wouldn't. Joongki may have his imperfections but he was more than perfect to Dara. He knew Dara accepted him wholeheartedly, both his faults and beauty. She loved him with all of her heart and so did Donghae. He was the only other person that was most important to him. He didn't have the right to hate him, he felt so selfish and he hated himself for it. 

"I think you should go for it hyung. S-she loves you too." Donghae whispered so faintly it was almost impossible to hear. 

"But I can't give her everything she dreamed of." he muttered quietly, feeling discouraged and insecure about himself. 

He felt he wasnt good enough for her. If only he was smart and had a lot of money, he could give her everything that she deserves and even more. That was what he wanted to give her, a life that she had dreamed of. He wouldn't settle for anything more or less, he wanted it to be perfect like her. 

"But she loves you anyway doesn't she?" he added, reassuring his hyung. "Dara's content with just your love for her. She never asked for anything more hyung, that's how much she loves you."

Even if it meant he wouldn't be part of the picture, as long as he could see them both smile, he would be content. 

"How can I live without you and you're smart and stupid brain?" he chuckled lightly as he felt his chest become less heavier. 

"I am the best man after all right?" Donghae raised a brow and bit his bottom lip as he waited for an answer. 

"Ofcourse! Who else would I ask to polish my shoes, iron my clothes, fix my hair, find the reception, make a long speech? Who else would be stupid enough to say yes to that but you?" he snortled loudly as they both laughed hysterically. 

"Thanks Donghae, you really are the best man in the world. I'm glad we met I didn't run away from the orphanage. If I did, I wouldn't have met you and you're snotty face." he teased as he glanced at Donghae. 

Somehow Donghae felt his heart at ease even just for a moment. It felt good to feel at peace, without guilt and regret, he knew he could make it. 

"You won't get over th-.." Donghae stopped talking as he was forced to close his eyes as a white bright light blinded them. 

He used his hand to shield his eyes. Bit by bit he managed to open them until he could see what was coming. 

*Loud truck horn*

"Hyung look out!!!!!!!!!!!"

*Car tyres screeching*

*Bang*

Author's Note: 

Here is the first chapter of Can I Love You. 

I apologize for the late story but I hope you like it! 

Please keep tuned to this story and I will assure you it will get better and more intersting! 

Thank you very much! 

Tell me what you think! 

Comment below <3