But I love you.
But I love you.
The world as we know it, has come to an end. Destructive radiation, ending it in a cruel invisible mist of poison, choking, and drying out the life. It is unable to be seen coming, how can it be seen when the day begins just as any other?
Killed slow, however, increasingly painful. The brain will shrivel. Bleed. In 24 hours, if they last until then, everyone will be dead. Alas, in the midst of all the suffering there seems to be a different type of torment; relationships-love- trust-jealousy, pushed together among the other stringed issues pulled to tug and keep a couple steady floating.
It started that morning, bright and early, the exact same day humanity is to become no more.
The day starts off with the married couple, Luhan and Sehun; preparing together to meet and have brunch with their closest friends. Luhan is getting dressed in the bedroom, listening to the water of the shower coming from the bathroom. It’s a beautiful morning, the sky and all is very lively.
Sehun finished his shower and stepped into the bedroom, he doesn’t speak with his husband, Luhan, they seem to be in a comfortable silence sharing a smile once or twice before Luhan’s cell phone rings and he answers on the second ring. “Hello?” He sounds cheerful, he always does.
“Luhan! Where the hell are you guys!” It’s Jongin. “Oh, we’re on our way out right now!” Luhan says, and adds, “We woke up a little late.”
Sehun is grabbing the car keys from off the counter and is mouthing ‘who is it’ to his husband.
“Jongin,” Luhan responded. Sehun, his husband, stops in the door of the apartment and visibly stiffened.
Luhan quickly ends the call.
Marriage is never easy. Marriage is the ultimate step towards forever. Luhan is happy to be taking this step with Sehun and doesn’t ever regret hearing the words I do, even if both men are still young for the age of marriage, and had made the unthinkable decision one random night after lying in bed together to find a place and elope.
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Kris and Tao are the host of this traditional brunch, Tao being more invested than Kris, made sure the dinning area was cleaned spotless and that the,little disgusting finger food, as Kris would put it, was decorated with perfection. Everything has to be perfected, because this is the high light of his day, these Sunday’s, when each of his friends got together again to take a break for once from their busy coupled lives.
Kris and Tao argue over watering his individual- named-plants before the guest arrives. Tao calls the plants his earthy family, and Kris calls them a waste of space.
As Tao fixed his hair in the mirror, the doorbell buzzed, he was ready to walk and answer it but the other man crept up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close; keeping him from moving. Kris seductively whispered against his ear. “Don’t move.”
“Kris. Not now. It’s probably our friends.”
“They can wait.”
“And so can you.” Tao pushed away from the man holding him and checked his hair again before going to answer the door.
Kris and Tao have been together, have been married- almost happily, for the longest time among the group of friends. The others question how they can still stand each other for such a long period of time, the marriage seems impossibly boring because they never fight, just short arguments that end in mutual agreements.
‘communication is the key’ Tao would say when his friends are having relationship problems. ‘give him/her the same love and respect that you want. Communication is power, love is knowledge’
The first of the guest come bearing gifts, cupcakes made by Kyungsoo. “One is missing because Jongin got hungry on the drive over.” Tao welcomed them into his home. “Who is already here?” Jongin asked, slipping his arms around his boyfriend and walking him into the kitchen behind Kris and Tao.
“You’re the first to show up.”
“Dammit. I called Luhan ten minutes ago! They’re always late.”
“No. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are always late.”
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“NO!” Baekhyun yelled for the third time, angry and frustrated. “I said no, Chanyeol, NO-I don’t want it- it’s not going to happen.” His foot hits the dashboard in their car to express his rage on the matter.
Chanyeol was frustrated too, hell, they hadn’t even made it out of the parking lot of their apartment complex. “I want this, Baek!”
“I don’t believe in it, why do we need a piece of paper to prove we love each other?”
“It’s more than that it’s a sign of commitment, a vow, an oath? A ring for everyone to know how much you mean to me-I-to you.”
“No, Chanyeol, I won’t do it. Marriage isn’t for everyone, you see Tao and Kris and you want to be like them but we can’t be like them because we’re notthem. I’m Baekhyun and you’re the idiot that doesn’t understand!” Chanyeol pushed hard against the horn. The horns roared as he let out his built irritation towards his boyfriend.
“What are you afraid of, Baek, I love you! We can plan everything the way you want it to be. I promise baby.”
“We break up once a month at least!”
“Because you’re a stubborn ,” Chanyeol growled.
The shorter male dropped his mouth open in a gasp and glared at Chanyeol, he looked hurt but it was an act, Chanyeol knew this was how Baekhyun got his way so that he would always be the one to apologize. Chanyeol doesn’t mind apologizing first when things start to become thick and unmanageable because he hates to see Baekhyun upset. He’ll say sorry and then they will be fine again.
Today, however, Chanyeol doesn’t want to give in. He was taking this serious, more serious than he has ever been in his entire life apart of something. “You’re saying it’s my fault then.” Baekhyun scoffed. “Great. Real ing great.”
“Yeah we break up but we make up, we always work out in the end. ! Baekhyun! Just ing let me propose again!”
Yes. Again. The first and only time the proposal took place was on their one year anniversary. Being still early on in the relationship, Baek hadn’t yet expressed his discomfort towards marriage and starting a family but chose to do so after Chanyeol said it.
Embarrassed and nervous, he proposed after losing in a video game. Baekhyun jumped up to bask in his victory dance, Chanyeol had let him win because if he had not, he would have to deal with the water works.
‘Baek, will you marry me?’
Baekhyun froze completely, big wide eyes, and stammering back a quiet ‘wh-what did you say?’ The response wasn’t what Chanyeol had hoped for and minutes later his boyfriend cold-heartedly turned him down with no explanation until that night in bed and expected Chanyeol to be okay with it.
He wasn’t but he pretended to be.
“I’m not enough for you, am I?”
“You are! We , we laugh, it’s great, why can’t you just-”
“It’s making love, Baek.”
“! Same isn’t it?”
“It’s not the same!” Chanyeol’s throat was getting burned, yelling like this over something that could easily be fixed if Baekhyun just says yes, yes I will marry you.
“Idiot, I don’t want to marry you!”
That did it. That silenced both of them. Baekhyun didn’t mean it the way it sounds because he did want to marry Chanyeol one day, but not any day soon, not yet. Not just yet. He isn’t ready, marriage isn’t for everyone.
Chanyeol is the one who looks like he wants to cry, he knows he should say sorry but they’re both in too deep right now. “Chanyeol…”
“I’m not enough? We break up all the time but why, who else is ing you?”
Baekhyun had enough. It was a low blow, and he was already tired of fighting over the same old things. Baekhyun unlocked the passenger door and jumped out giving Chanyeol his last words..
“ you.”
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Sehun pulled in front of Kris and Tao’s pretty little home. Sehun and Luhan hasn’t said a word to each other, and honestly, Luhan is scared to, scared of what Sehun will do, scared that he himself will mess something up.
As they wait, buzzing the door bell, Luhan sneaks a glance at his husband before reaching out for his hand. Sehun pulled away and the door comes open.
“Luhan, Sehun, hey!” Kyungsoo greats them both in a hug. “Everyone else is here already. Okay-everyone but Baekhyun and Channie but I’m sure they’ll be here soon too.” Xiumin had arrived shortly ago, he and Jongin are arm wrestling at the table, while Tao is opening an old bottle of wine and Kris is saying something to him.
“Guess who is here~” Kyungsoo sang. Heads looked up, Jongin the first to make eye contact with Luhan.
“It’s about time!” Xiumin rushed to give Luhan a bear hug, passing Sehun a quick smile. Sehun placed the extra bottle of wine they brought on top of the table. “Good to see everyone together this time.” Xiumin says. “Sorry I couldn’t make it last Sunday, held up at work.”
“We didn’t really miss you,” Sehun said, his tongue runs out to wet his lips as he pops open the bottle of wine and pours himself a glass.
The group relocates into the living room, Luhan sitting next to Sehun on one side of the sofa, and Jongin, with Kyungsoo on his lap, on the other end. Xiumin sitting on the empty armrest to his chair, and Tao and Kris across from them on the other couch. Tao puts down the finger food in the center of the coffee table then takes a sip from the glass in his hand. “So man, eight years is a long time, when exactly is Tao going to pop out some kids?” Jongin asked.
Tao scowled and Kris grinned. “We don’t want any kids.” Wrong answer.
Tao started to agree then stopped himself, “Yeah-wait what? We talked about this.” Tao turned to him. “We’re adopting one soon as soon as we get through the hell hole of paper work.”
Kris shook his head, sloppying his grin into a smirk and dropped his arm around the other man’s shoulder. “Look, we’ll talk about this later babe.” Tao paused but then quickly nodded. This was a sensitive subject that the others in the group didn’t know much about. Eight years really is a long time and Tao was far beyond ready to start a family with him, Kris, however, was ready to start a business. Kids can wait, he says, they don’t have the time.
“We’re not the only married couple in the room fortunately. Luhan, Sehun, have you thought about doing it?”
Luhan shifted uncomfortably next to his husband, he wants him to answer yes, he can’t do it for them because the cards are in Sehun’s hands.
“We’ve only been married six months,” Sehun mentioned. “Kids are out of the question.”
“Yeah but ya’ll have been head over hills disgusting for each other for years,” Kris said and then looked at Luhan who turns to look at Sehun’s profile, he smiles but the smile is feeble. Jongin looked at the clock on the wall over his shoulder, and groaned. “Why can’t anyone ever be on time for these things?” Kyungsoo giggled as Jongin nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
“Missing our friends?”
Jongin poked out his bottom lip and nodded. “They don’t love us anymore.” It is known to all of them who is being referred to; Baekhyun and Chanyeol.
“They love us, they just love each other more,” Kyungsoo said. “They’re probably too busy over sleeping wrapped up in the blanket together.”
“Call them and tell them to get their asses over here.”
Luhan sighed, being the one to pull out his cell phone but he gets no signal. “They really are the perfect couple.”
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“Do you even care how I feel? You’re so god damn inconsiderate of my feelings.” Chanyeol yelled in the middle of the parking lot.
“It’s always about you!”
“It’s never about me!”
“So what if I don’t want to get married, you just jump to think I’d cheat on you? After all we’ve been through? You ing .” Baekhyun heaved, pacing back and forth, he tried to breathe. “I ing gave up everything to be with you here, and you don’t trust me? I left my home, family, everything to be with you and you don’t trust me?”
Chanyeol threw up his hands. “How am I supposed to react, Baek.”
“You’re supposed to accept me, trust me, trust me and what I tell you about my beliefs.”
The taller male rolled his eyes. “Bull, Baekhyun, you’re afraid of being stuck with me, I know you are. I can see it. Hesitant you’ve always been with me. Are you-are you ashamed to be with me?”
Baekhyun couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his heart beating fast. It hurt. His head, it hurt. Everything hurt. Baekhyun can’t convince Chanyeol he is the one for him, can’t convince him that marriage wouldn’t cut it for them. “ it, let’s just go and get this over with.” Baekhyun wiped his face and stomped back to their car. Chanyeol abruptly followed, got in, and drove them to Kris and Tao’s house.
“Hey yo! Anyone home!” Chanyeol announced himself as soon as they entered and Jongin, Tao, Kris, and Xiumin answered back. Chanyeol and Baekhyun walked into the living room, arms linked together and smiling, this is what they have to do.
“Chanyeol couldn’t find the car keys again,” Baekhyun lied and hit his boyfriend’s shoulder. Chanyeol chuckled. “What did we miss?”
“Nothing, brunch is almost over now,” Tao said.
“That’s too bad.”
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While the others fell into chatting, Luhan stayed quiet. He looked around at the other happy couples; excluding Xiumin, and a string pulls at his wounded heart. Why couldn’t he and Sehun by that way too? Why do things have to turn out this way.
Xiumin handed him a glass of wine and he took it.
Sehun looks down at him, transparent disapproval flashing across his face.
“Just one,” Luhan whispered, and covered his husband’s hand with his own but Sehun pulled away, and stood up to excused himself to the bathroom. The hurt struck him instantly, and Luhan let out a small whimper.
The chatter that once filled the room disappeared.
He’s trying. He is really trying, no one is perfect.
“Luhan?” Baekhyun said.
Luhan pursed his lips and stood to smile. “Sehun’s not feeling well today.” The others said nothing as he followed after his husband.
When he opened the door, he should have expected it. Sehun stands from thinking hard on the toilet lid and tells him to get out.
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In shock, the group stills in silence, and tries to listen for any yelling, there is a tense feeling in the air like it’s going to come soon-the storm is coming quick.
“Did we miss something? What’s up with Luhan?” Baekhyun asked, looking to Tao and Kris.
“We honestly don’t know, we’re as surprised as you are,” Kyungsoo says. He feels Jongin tightened his hold. He’s quiet. “Do you think they’re having problems?”
“Everyone has problems.”
“Not us.” Kyungsoo counters. “ We never fight, Jongin and I, unless it’s over who loves who more.”
Chanyeol scoffed. “Yeah, I don’t believe that, no one relationship can be that perfect.”
“Trust me, we know,” Baekhyun says.
“How are they supposed to trust a word you say, Baek, who can trust anything you say?”
If possible, Kyungsoo’s eyes grew bigger in size. Tao, Kris, and Xiumin sat staring at the couple. “Whoah, where did that come from?” Jongin asked.
Baekhyun untangled himself from Chanyeol and stands up. “And what do you know about trust, Chanyeol, what do you know about anything?”
“Since you’re the expert you tell me.” Chanyeol smiled bittersweet and cocked his head to the side.
“Can we just, eat and drink some more wine,” Xiumin says itching under the tension in the room. But there is a knock on the door and Kris awkwardly clears his throat to excuse himself. “I’ll get it.”
There neighbor is wearing a protective chemical suit and a gas mask. It’s Suho from next door. “Do you…need something?” Kris examines.
Suho tilted, he heard voices around the corner coming from the living room. “Having a party?”
“Not really, what’s up, what do you need?”
“You haven’t heard…?”
“Heard what?” Tao asked coming up to listen in on there conversation.
“You’re both serious?”
“Heard what?” Kris asked. “Why are you dressed in a chemical suit?”
“It’s all over the news, or was, I heard it on my radio. Haven’t you noticed the power outage, the sirens outside?”
“What?” Now that they have stopped to realize, the electricity is out, but the sun light coming from the windows make it difficult to notice, and they weren't able to get a bar of signal to call Baekhyun and Chanyeol earlier. How did they not notice this? If it was just the two of them here, they would have noticed right away. Tao and Kris base there life around technology, if it was any other day, it would have rose suspicion.
“Where are you getting at?”
“Bombs were set off. Dirt bombs. They've been sending out warnings all morning, and advising us all to stay in.”
Baekhyun laughed. He and Chanyeol, and the others had come to listen. “Dirt bombs? Like what is that exactly?”
Chanyeol blinked once and answered, “Dirt bombs are toxic bombs, they carry viruses. We won’t be able to see it, it’s why they tell us to stay inside.”
“Right,” Suho said.
“Then what are you doing here?” Kris asked, giving him a look.
“Came over to see if anyone else knew, I have some emergency flash lights and canned goods at my place. I’ll be barricading myself inside until some kind of rescue comes, you should probably do the same and tape up all the cracks and windows, the doors, all that.”
Kris actually looked amused. “Do you think I’m buying this?”
“It make’s since, doesn’t it?” Chanyeol said patting his shoulder. “No signal, the electricity is fried, something must be up.”
Suho nodded but Kris wasn’t so easily won over. “Take your crazy and get out of my house.” With that, he kicked him out and locked the door but it seemed to be he was the only non-believer, when Kris looked back at his friends and cocked a brow at their frightened faces. “You don’t actually believe him, do you?”
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Sehun leaned against the sink, his eyes are terrible, red, and puffy. Luhan held up the door not wanting him to leave. “Sehun, just listen to me!” He said loud but not loud enough to be a disturbance.
“It’s over, as soon as this thing is over, I’m leaving.”
Luhan hated crying, but Sehun was breaking him down, piece by piece. “I’ve said I’m sorry and I am! I’m sorry! I’m stupid, isn’t that what you want to hear?”
Sehun didn’t meet his gaze, Luhan’s own begging him to stay, ‘stay with me, please’. “It was a mistake, it didn’t mean to happen.”
“You could have stopped it.’
“I was drunk, Sehun!”
Sehun snapped, “That makes it okay? You’re drunk so you can go somebody else, you’re drunk so it didn’t mean anything? You’re drunk so you don’t think about who you’re married to?”
“Don’t go- don’t go like this, I messed up, you’re right okay? I was just-”
“Just what? Lonely? Bored?”
“No! I was-I don’t know, I’m a stupid ing mess up and I am so sorry for what I did, you are-” Luhan chokes on his words trying not to cry. “You are the only one I want. I’ve loved you for so long, Sehun, you don’t know how happy I was the first morning I woke up married to you.”
Sehun wanted to scream, rip his own hair out. Luhan, he was supposed to be his forever. “If it had been me-”
“If it had been you I would stupidly take you back in a heart beat. Please, Sehun, we just got married! A divorce? You want to end this without working through it?” Six months, they didn't even last six months.
“I bet you liked it, didn't you?” Sehun shoved Luhan’s body aside easily and pulled the door open. Luhan ran after him. “Sehun, Sehun will you stop running from me!”
His anger led the way, as he walked back to the other room. “What the ing hell is all this anyway? We come together and act like prude stuck up asses and act like we have perfect-fake-happy lives!” Sehun went through the kitchen to get to the door faster, where his group of friends where now crowded around at, and grabbed his jacket and smacked a bottle of wine off the table. It crashed on the floor. “ all of you, every single one of you.”
“Sehun, where are you going!” Luhan and his friends yelled behind him. Chanyeol and Kris ran to stop him from leaving.
“Get out of my way.”
“You can’t go out there!”
“Move!”
“We’re serious, Sehun, there’s a virus out there. Kris’s neighbor came by and warned us about it! We have to stay in until help comes to get us!”
Sehun looked taken aback, shaking his head. “Ex-what did you say?”
“Dirt bombs. The toxic gas is out there, everyone has been discussing it, just about to call you two down and tell you. We have to duct tape the vents and windows, the door too.”
“He’s right,” Kris said. “It’s crazy but it’s true. We’re safe in here as long as none of us let’s the air from outside seep inside.”
Sehun ran a furious hand through his hair. “We’re stuck here?”
“Yup.”
“We should find a radio then, find out what’s going on then,” Sehun said, then turned back. Luhan tried to reach for him, crying out his name. Sehun stopped in the dead center of the kitchen when he noticed Kyungsoo, and Jongin next to him, near the table. “Since we’re stuck here, Kyungsoo, you should probably know Luhan and Jongin had seven months ago.”
“Sehun!” Luhan yelled and quickly looked for Kyungsoo’s reaction. There wasn’t one.
“Oh, you didn’t know either?” Sehun said venomously, watching as the short male quietly stepped away, looking between his boyfriend and Sehun. “Jongin is the root of why we’re getting a divorce. Luhan broke and told me two weeks ago, only two weeks ago. He got married to me knowing he slept with someone else.”
Kyungsoo’s big eyes move to Luhan, then again to Sehun. “Why wouldn't…” But he doesn’t finish, and no one asked him to. Kyungsoo walks off to the other room alone.
No one else moved. “You can’t have Kyungsoo if I can’t have Luhan.” Sehun then left the room too.
Jongin darted his eyes to each pair around the kitchen, their faces showing disbelief and disappointment. He should apologize to them all but he doesn’t, the only thing he does is go after Kyungsoo.
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They’re all separated now, keeping to themselves, each person full of hostility and guilt, taping the windows with plastic and closing any vents they can find. Baekhyun was alone in one room while, Kris, Luhan, and Chanyeol boarded up the living. Tao and Sehun searched for a radio, and Kyungsoo locked himself in the bathroom, for the past hour Jongin has been trying to get him to come out and talk.
“Me and Baekhyun are over,” Chanyeol whispered to Kris.
“Why?”
“He doesn’t love me like I love him. We don’t want the same thing after all.”
Kris bit off the tape and flattened it against the plastic on the edge of the window to hold it in place. “You and Baekhyun fight all the time.”
“It’s different this time, he won’t even look at me. I’m not going to apologize and he never will, we all know that. Sometimes I really believe he’s in love with the idea of loving me because we work so well together and…” Chanyeol trailed off and swallowed a lump in his throat as Baekhyun’s adorable laughter rang inside his head. “He’s right though, I’m an idiot because I miss him.”
Kris and Chanyeol move to the next window. “What should I do?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“You and Tao have been married eight years, how? How do you both do it?”
Kris smirks. “All that Tao goes on about, about communication; that works. We have our days, we’re not in the best position right now even but we talk it out. He wants to adopt and I want a business and-” Kris sighs. “-And I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
“Because we’re friends! !” Chanyeol kicked the couch out of frustration. “Sehun had a point back there, we act like things should be perfect, that just because we’re all getting older we have to drink wine and have brunch.”
“Tao loves brunch.”
“Baek loves scotch, hard soju, we both do. Why can’t we just do how we used to do and meet up randomly or meet up and get drunk so that we reallywill talk to each other.” Chanyeol was making sense, Kris noted. After rambling on for another moment, Chanyeol turned around to ask Luhan for more plastic and Luhan holds up a piece, crying, swollen in heart ache.
Chanyeol’s shoulders sag. He didn’t want to deal with that type of issue Luhan was having but hadn’t he just agreed to talking more to each other? “Dammit, Luhan, why’d you go and up like that.”
Luhan bit back his falling tears. “Sehun hates me.”
Chanyeol pulled him up from sitting on the back of the couch and pushed him into a hug and held him in his big arms. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you,” Kris says calmly. “He’s mad, that’s all.”
“He wants a divorce, he’s really going through with it. He’s been packing his stuff for the last three days. I’ve tried everything to make him stay, I made us dinner, I threw petals on the bed, I tried to relive our first nights but he doesn’t talk to me,” Luhan sobbed shamelessly into Chanyeol’s shirt, balling his fist and letting it all out. “He doesn’t want me.”
“Then…then it’s true what he said? That you and Jongin…”
“Yeah.”
“You should talk to him,” Kris suggested.
Luhan sniffed. “I tried. I tried earlier and that’s what happens when I do. He leaves like that he just…leaves.”
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“Babe, open the door.”
“Why?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“Talk.”
“Face to face.”
“No.” Kyungsoo isn’t crying, not a tear from his eyelids have fallen from his face. He is pressed to the door and is trying to think about all the signs that maybe he had missed. No one relationship is that perfect. He’d thought they were, or close to that. Although the group envied Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s relationship, Kyungsoo and Jongin were the real ones that deserved the envy-did deserve it.
Jongin was playful and he knew the right things to say to make his boyfriend smile, he was touchy and grabbed Kyungsoo whenever he felt need to. Kyungsoo is more reserved but he never minded it. Their relationship was good, wasn’t it? They went out regularly, kissed often, gave each other space..
Then as Kyungsoo listened to Jongin call his name on the other side of the door, he realized that maybe that was just it. He wasn’t as interesting as Luhan, not much of a challenge either. Kyungsoo wasn’t sassy like Baekhyun or full of wisdom like Tao, nowhere near amazing like Chanyeol, what was he? Regular? Average?
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says.
“Open the door, babe.”
Kyungsoo continued without doing so. “I’m cute right?”
“Yes!”
“I’m smart.”
“Yes, Kyungsoo.”
“I can be witty too, I’m…Kyungsoo, is that enough for you?”
“Babe, it’s more than enough.”
Kyungsoo has this thing he’s never realized he had before. Being with Jongin for so long, he can hear the truth and lies in his voice, and Kyungsoo opens the door. Jongin isn’t crying either, Kyungsoo decides he doesn’t care.
“You opened up.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me, really, there never was and never will be. You need more than one person sometimes, Jongin, but I don’t.”
Jongin creased his eyebrows and stared straight into those big eyes he loves. Kyungsoo starts to walk but stops. “Where are you going now?” Jongin asked.
“To look for some more wine.”
“What about us?”
Kyungsoo and Jongin eye each other, and it’s almost the same loving stare they gave each other last night.
“What about us,” Kyungsoo says.
Xxxxxxxx
“What does that mean?” Tao asked Sehun as they listened in close to the static coming from the radio in his hand, they could only make out a few words. VX. And another warning before it cuts out completely. “I don’t know.” Sehun hits the thing a couple more times but the signal won’t come back. “We should tell the others, Chanyeol will know what it means.” Sehun looks in the boxes for more emergency items. “But I don’t want to go back up there.”
“We can’t stay down here.”
Sehun shrugged. “Go back up there if you want to.”
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Baekhyun found Kyungsoo sitting classy at the table by himself and drinking straight from the bottle. “Kyungie,” He said cautiously approaching the table. “What are you doing in here by yourself?”
Kyungsoo offered the wine over and Baekhyun took it.
“I’m sorry to hear about you and-” Baekhyun smirked. “Nevermind, what’s the point, sorry can’t fix it, we .”
Kyungsoo pulled himself up to sit on top of the table and Baekhyun copied him. “I hurt Chanyeol too, not the way Jongin hurt you or, you know, but our problems are equal.”
“What did you do?”
“I-I guess he doesn’t trust me because I don’t want to get married. I don’t believe in marriage and I don’t want to turn out like Lu--nevermind.”
“How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?”
Baekhyun shrugged, he laid his head down on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and sighed. “Chanyeol is the smart one, not me.”
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“, , ,” Chanyeol panicked
“What! What the hell does it mean!” Sehun shouted, holding the worthless radio in his hand.
“It means it’s not radiation. It’s going to seep through because it’s too ing thick. VX is the deadliest toxic bomb known to us. It’s going to kill us, seep through eventually and if we’re all lucky enough we’ll pass out before experiencing any of its effects,” Chanyeol told everyone. “!”
“What? What does this mean!” Sehun shouts again.
“Did you not hear him? It’s going to kill each one of us, within 24 hours, you and everyone else here will be dead.” Kris said emphasizing on the word dead.
“No…” Tao whispered. “This…this can’t be happening, can it? It isn’t really happening, right? You’re joking about this.”
“Unfortunately, it’s the truth. Tao, everyone, I wish it wasn’t this, I wish there is something else I can say to turn it into a joke, to make it less...less real but , it won’t be long until…”
“There has to be a way to survive this right?” Luhan asked.
“No. There isn’t anything we can do.” Chanyeol looks off to the doorway, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo heard everything, and suddenly, Baekhyun seemed too far away from him.
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Silence has dawned upon them. Kyungsoo just drank his wine, not too bothered by any of it. Majority separated again, no one wanted to be together, even if it was the last day of their lives.
Baekhyun watched Chanyeol staring at the wall in the corner of the living room. Baekhyun wanted to stretch his arm out across the room and touch him. He still very much loved Chanyeol, Chanyeol loves him too so why didn’t he ever just say yes, yes Chanyeol I will marry you. It would have been nice; it would have been the beginning of something new and beautiful.
They have missed out now, missed out on the wedding planning, the happiness, the honey moon, they’ve missed out on it all and he is to blame. He does not blame Chanyeol for not trusting him, he is, indeed a flirt, but he has never touched, has never kissed, has never made love to anyone but him. Never held or have been held by another pair of arms.
Baekhyun is faithful. Thinking back now, he must have truly been afraid from the start to be with just Chanyeol forever but why? Park Chanyeol is the greatest boyfriend to him and would probably be the greatest husband too. Baekhyun is selfish, he knows this, that he has to always have it his way and Chanyeol deserves more than what Baekhyun allows himself to give to him.
Baekhyun has pride; however, pride is not something he needs. Chanyeol is.
“I’m..” Baekhyun sat down next to Chanyeol and didn’t know how to start his speech. “I want to be your wife, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, because Chanyeol likes to call Baekhyun the future wife. Baekhyun loathes it, but Chanyeol, Chanyeol loves it.
“It’s too late, Baek.”
Baekhyun feels horrible. “It’s not too late. Ask me.” Please.
“I’m not in the mood to do this. Do you not understand what’s going on here?”
Baekhyun smiled, with tears in his eyes, smiled the smile Chanyeol loves the most, and Chanyeol can see the hurt when he meets his gaze. “I love when you smile like that, Baek.”
“I know.” His hand finds the bigger one and laced his fingers between them. “Chanyeol, ask me.”
“What’s it matter?”
“It matters to me. Chanyeol, will you marry me…please?”
Chanyeol is at lost for words. Their hands locked together, never letting go. Chanyeol speaks again a brief pause later. “Love is easy, Baek.”
“I know. Trust me, okay? I love you, only you. I see you, only you. I’ve lived with you and I can’t live without you. I will die with you.”
Chanyeol nodded. “I trust you.” And he is grinning again. “I don’t have a ring to give you now though.”
“It’s alright. I don’t need a ring.” Baekhyun leaned in and kissed him. The kiss, It’s full of wishes and wants.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol stay seated in the corner, wrapped in each other because nothing else matters. Their last, will be nothing but kisses.
“You guys made up, joy.”
They part to see Kyungsoo waving the bottle of wine at them.
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Luhan passed Jongin in the hallway, “Where is he?” He asked.
Jongin threw his thumb over his shoulder pointing in the direction behind him. “He’s in the bedroom.” When Luhan moved, Jongin grabbed him. “Look, Luhan, it isn’t going to end good like the way you want it to if you go see him. It’s better if you drop it, spend your time with me, we don’t have to talk about any of this if you don’t want to.”
“Do you forgive yourself for what we did?”
“A long time ago.”
“I don’t want to lose my husband.”
“Does he feel the same way?” Luhan shook his head silently answering back no. “Then what are you doing? Why are you trying so hard?”
“Because I’m in love with him.”
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Luhan knocks on the door and enters. Sehun has his head bowed, and he is sitting at the edge of the bed. “I ruined a lot of things.” Sehun doesn’t say anything to him but he runs his tongue over his lips and Luhan knows that he is listening.
“It’s not okay if you don’t forgive me. I’m going to chase you into our next life and marry you again, do it right next time.”
Sehun cannot look at him, because if he does, he will break, crumble, and fall into Luhan’s arms and take him back. He won’t do it. His mind is made up and he fails to care if it might be the last day they have here together to try again. He wants to leave this life alone, free from all his problems.
Luhan rubs his arms, standing awkwardly alone by the door frame. “If there is one thing I can re-due, it wouldn’t be this what I have done, it would be waiting around too nervously to tell you I loved you. I want to re-live our first kiss.”
And Sehun is standing, Luhan knows he is going to walk out. If Sehun stays, he won’t be able to breathe a moment longer.
Luhan looks up at him as they linger, and he begs him to say something but in the end, Sehun does that thing that hurts to him the most. He leaves.
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Kris and Tao are sitting together, cuddled on the couch, and watching the clock on the wall. How much longer do they have now?
Baekhyun and Chanyeol move to join them across from the couple, the separate pairs smile at each other.
“What are you doing?” Tao asked seeing Baekhyun writing down notes.
“We’re planning our wedding.”
Tao laughs. “We’re practically dead,” Kris says.
Chanyeol doesn’t care, Baekhyun doesn’t either. “We’re getting married though,” They tell the other couple.
“Good for you.”
Tao adores watching the two, they have a special kind of love, those two.
Tao, in the simplest way that he can, asked Kris if they will adopt one or two children. Startled, Kris doesn’t know what he should say but he quickly catches on and settles for saying two. They’re the calmest enduring this news, there is nothing any of them can do to change what’s to come. Death is inevitable in this crucial lovely ending of their lives.
Xiumin, is really the only one who hid because of the shock, he haven’t spoken much, just finally joined Kyungsoo until the bottle was empty. He, Xiumin, and Jongin are sitting at the table. “This is really it then,” Xiumin says. “I wonder what my last words will be before I pass out, I hope it isn’t anything stupid.”
Kyungsoo smiled, he was trying to make light of the situation. Jongin and Kyungsoo appreciates it and in return offers the same comforting light conversation.
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin called. “How do you feel?”
“Still fine.”
“Hey, do you think if none of this was to happen that we would all be sitting here, that we would all still be friends?”
“If this was my choice, I wouldn’t be here right now.” And Kyungsoo answered that honestly.
“None of us would be,” Jongin said.
Xiumin dropped his chin in his hands. “To think, I’m dying single.”
Kyungsoo and Jongin smiles.
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Sehun stopped in the hallway, waiting until Luhan collected himself and then came out of the bedroom. It’d been a while. Luhan stiffened in place when he saw him. “Were you waiting for me?”
“Would you have forgiven me?” Sehun asked.
Luhan isn’t lying when he says yes.
“Do you know I love you, Luhan?”
“Do you know I love you too?”
“If you loved me…” Sehun couldn’t finish.
“If I loved you, I would apologize with every chance I can until our time here is up and that is what I plan to do. I’m sorry, Sehun, I-I don’t…” Luhan closed his eyes. “I can’t take it back, I’ve tried. I’ve tried while you stayed gone out of our apartment and I cried myself to sleep wishing I could take it back.” He opens them again, and in their eyes there is so much there, so much left between them that Sehun isn’t ready to let go of.
“I don’t know what else I can say to you.”
“There is nothing more that you can say.” Sehun pushed off the wall. “I forgive you.” But he’s walking away, moving away from him again and Luhan is tired of it. Exhausted, worn out from the entire thing. Sehun wants it to be over, he should learn to let him go.
“Luhan.”
Luhan catches his breath. Sehun extends his arm out, hand out, and it’s for him. “Aren’t you coming?”
Luhan takes a hesitant step then charged at him, falling carelessly into his hold. They embrace one another and Sehun kisses the top of his head. “Let’s just be together, okay? Just be together.”
“Sehunnie,” Luhan cried. It’s that all he could say at the time.
“Shh, we’re okay, we don’t have to go through this alone.”
Luhan looked up and places his lips against Sehun’s, kissing him, loving him while he still can.
“Let’s do it one more time.”
“Do what?”
“I want to make love one more time, you and I, together as one, for the last time.”
And Luhan kisses him again.
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It’s starting, they all can feel it. It’s coming. Chanyeol tells them of what they should expect to feel, what the effects will be like and it’s too much. It’s a decision they all make to conjure up something and mix it in with the last bottle of wine they have. They don’t drink it tough, it’s not time yet.
They’re all grouped in the living room, Xiumin on the floor sitting next to Kyungsoo, Jongin in the chair above them, while Baekhyun and Chanyeol take up one side of the couch, Sehun and Luhan on the other side. Tao and Kris also cuddled up on the couch sitting across from them.
“Guys,” Xiumin says. “This has been one hell of a day.”
“Did we announce to the rest of you that we’re getting married, Chanyeol and me,” Baekhyun says. Chanyeol grinned and the group finds the polite decency to applaud them for it. It’s just like another regular get together now.
“I’m happy for you,” Luhan said, nuzzled into Sehun’s lap under their blanket. “Sehun and I aren’t getting a divorce. He adores me too much.”
Sehun chuckled. “I do?”
“Yes, you do!”
Chanyeol approves of what he sees. “A divorce doesn’t fit you two anyway,” He said. None of them talk about it, about what’s coming.
“Do you think we’ll find each other in the after life?” Tao asked.
“I’ll find Sehun first, then I’ll get to everyone else later,” Luhan says. They laugh.
“Great, we see how much you love us,” Jongin shot back.
Sehun pulls, Luhan, his husband, closer and kissed him again.
Kyungsoo is the one who does it first, he touched his nose after coughing and sees blood then the glasses are picked up. “What is this going to do to us?” Xiumin wondered, he already knew as well as everyone else but had to be sure.
“Sleep,” Kris said. “It’ll put us into a nice long sleep.”
“What if we shouldn’t do this? What if we can survive it?”
Chanyeol smiles and reality is left to sink in. “The count of three.”
Kris turns to Tao.
1.
Kyungsoo, Xiumin, and Jongin exchange nods.
2.
Luhan and Sehun whisper I love you.
3.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol drink, over-under linked arms like newly weds.
“Jongin,” Luhan responded. Sehun, his husband, stops in the door of the apartment and visibly stiffened.
Luhan quickly ends the call.
Marriage is never easy. Marriage is the ultimate step towards forever. Luhan is happy to be taking this step with Sehun and doesn’t ever regret hearing the words I do, even if both men are still young for the age of marriage, and had made the unthinkable decision one random night after lying in bed together to find a place and elope.
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Kris and Tao are the host of this traditional brunch, Tao being more invested than Kris, made sure the dinning area was cleaned spotless and that the,little disgusting finger food, as Kris would put it, was decorated with perfection. Everything has to be perfected, because this is the high light of his day, these Sunday’s, when each of his friends got together again to take a break for once from their busy coupled lives.
Kris and Tao argue over watering his individual- named-plants before the guest arrives. Tao calls the plants his earthy family, and Kris calls them a waste of space.
As Tao fixed his hair in the mirror, the doorbell buzzed, he was ready to walk and answer it but the other man crept up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close; keeping him from moving. Kris seductively whispered against his ear. “Don’t move.”
“Kris. Not now. It’s probably our friends.”
“They can wait.”
“And so can you.” Tao pushed away from the man holding him and checked his hair again before going to answer the door.
Kris and Tao have been together, have been married- almost happily, for the longest time among the group of friends. The others question how they can still stand each other for such a long period of time, the marriage seems impossibly boring because they never fight, just short arguments that end in mutual agreements.
‘communication is the key’ Tao would say when his friends are having relationship problems. ‘give him/her the same love and respect that you want. Communication is power, love is knowledge’
The first of the guest come bearing gifts, cupcakes made by Kyungsoo. “One is missing because Jongin got hungry on the drive over.” Tao welcomed them into his home. “Who is already here?” Jongin asked, slipping his arms around his boyfriend and walking him into the kitchen behind Kris and Tao.
“You’re the first to show up.”
“Dammit. I called Luhan ten minutes ago! They’re always late.”
“No. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are always late.”
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“NO!” Baekhyun yelled for the third time, angry and frustrated. “I said no, Chanyeol, NO-I don’t want it- it’s not going to happen.” His foot hits the dashboard in their car to express his rage on the matter.
Chanyeol was frustrated too, hell, they hadn’t even made it out of the parking lot of their apartment complex. “I want this, Baek!”
“I don’t believe in it, why do we need a piece of paper to prove we love each other?”
“It’s more than that it’s a sign of commitment, a vow, an oath? A ring for everyone to know how much you mean to me-I-to you.”
“No, Chanyeol, I won’t do it. Marriage isn’t for everyone, you see Tao and Kris and you want to be like them but we can’t be like them because we’re notthem. I’m Baekhyun and you’re the idiot that doesn’t understand!” Chanyeol pushed hard against the horn. The horns roared as he let out his built irritation towards his boyfriend.
“What are you afraid of, Baek, I love you! We can plan everything the way you want it to be. I promise baby.”
“We break up once a month at least!”
“Because you’re a stubborn ,” Chanyeol growled.
The shorter male dropped his mouth open in a gasp and glared at Chanyeol, he looked hurt but it was an act, Chanyeol knew this was how Baekhyun got his way so that he would always be the one to apologize. Chanyeol doesn’t mind apologizing first when things start to become thick and unmanageable because he hates to see Baekhyun upset. He’ll say sorry and then they will be fine again.
Today, however, Chanyeol doesn’t want to give in. He was taking this serious, more serious than he has ever been in his entire life apart of something. “You’re saying it’s my fault then.” Baekhyun scoffed. “Great. Real ing great.”
“Yeah we break up but we make up, we always work out in the end. ! Baekhyun! Just ing let me propose again!”
Yes. Again. The first and only time the proposal took place was on their one year anniversary. Being still early on in the relationship, Baek hadn’t yet expressed his discomfort towards marriage and starting a family but chose to do so after Chanyeol said it.
Embarrassed and nervous, he proposed after losing in a video game. Baekhyun jumped up to bask in his victory dance, Chanyeol had let him win because if he had not, he would have to deal with the water works.
‘Baek, will you marry me?’
Baekhyun froze completely, big wide eyes, and stammering back a quiet ‘wh-what did you say?’ The response wasn’t what Chanyeol had hoped for and minutes later his boyfriend cold-heartedly turned him down with no explanation until that night in bed and expected Chanyeol to be okay with it.
He wasn’t but he pretended to be.
“I’m not enough for you, am I?”
“You are! We , we laugh, it’s great, why can’t you just-”
“It’s making love, Baek.”
“! Same isn’t it?”
“It’s not the same!” Chanyeol’s throat was getting burned, yelling like this over something that could easily be fixed if Baekhyun just says yes, yes I will marry you.
“Idiot, I don’t want to marry you!”
That did it. That silenced both of them. Baekhyun didn’t mean it the way it sounds because he did want to marry Chanyeol one day, but not any day soon, not yet. Not just yet. He isn’t ready, marriage isn’t for everyone.
Chanyeol is the one who looks like he wants to cry, he knows he should say sorry but they’re both in too deep right now. “Chanyeol…”
“I’m not enough? We break up all the time but why, who else is ing you?”
Baekhyun had enough. It was a low blow, and he was already tired of fighting over the same old things. Baekhyun unlocked the passenger door and jumped out giving Chanyeol his last words..
“ you.”
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Sehun pulled in front of Kris and Tao’s pretty little home. Sehun and Luhan hasn’t said a word to each other, and honestly, Luhan is scared to, scared of what Sehun will do, scared that he himself will mess something up.
As they wait, buzzing the door bell, Luhan sneaks a glance at his husband before reaching out for his hand. Sehun pulled away and the door comes open.
“Luhan, Sehun, hey!” Kyungsoo greats them both in a hug. “Everyone else is here already. Okay-everyone but Baekhyun and Channie but I’m sure they’ll be here soon too.” Xiumin had arrived shortly ago, he and Jongin are arm wrestling at the table, while Tao is opening an old bottle of wine and Kris is saying something to him.
“Guess who is here~” Kyungsoo sang. Heads looked up, Jongin the first to make eye contact with Luhan.
“It’s about time!” Xiumin rushed to give Luhan a bear hug, passing Sehun a quick smile. Sehun placed the extra bottle of wine they brought on top of the table. “Good to see everyone together this time.” Xiumin says. “Sorry I couldn’t make it last Sunday, held up at work.”
“We didn’t really miss you,” Sehun said, his tongue runs out to wet his lips as he pops open the bottle of wine and pours himself a glass.
The group relocates into the living room, Luhan sitting next to Sehun on one side of the sofa, and Jongin, with Kyungsoo on his lap, on the other end. Xiumin sitting on the empty armrest to his chair, and Tao and Kris across from them on the other couch. Tao puts down the finger food in the center of the coffee table then takes a sip from the glass in his hand. “So man, eight years is a long time, when exactly is Tao going to pop out some kids?” Jongin asked.
Tao scowled and Kris grinned. “We don’t want any kids.” Wrong answer.
Tao started to agree then stopped himself, “Yeah-wait what? We talked about this.” Tao turned to him. “We’re adopting one soon as soon as we get through the hell hole of paper work.”
Kris shook his head, sloppying his grin into a smirk and dropped his arm around the other man’s shoulder. “Look, we’ll talk about this later babe.” Tao paused but then quickly nodded. This was a sensitive subject that the others in the group didn’t know much about. Eight years really is a long time and Tao was far beyond ready to start a family with him, Kris, however, was ready to start a business. Kids can wait, he says, they don’t have the time.
“We’re not the only married couple in the room fortunately. Luhan, Sehun, have you thought about doing it?”
Luhan shifted uncomfortably next to his husband, he wants him to answer yes, he can’t do it for them because the cards are in Sehun’s hands.
“We’ve only been married six months,” Sehun mentioned. “Kids are out of the question.”
“Yeah but ya’ll have been head over hills disgusting for each other for years,” Kris said and then looked at Luhan who turns to look at Sehun’s profile, he smiles but the smile is feeble. Jongin looked at the clock on the wall over his shoulder, and groaned. “Why can’t anyone ever be on time for these things?” Kyungsoo giggled as Jongin nuzzled into the crook of his neck.
“Missing our friends?”
Jongin poked out his bottom lip and nodded. “They don’t love us anymore.” It is known to all of them who is being referred to; Baekhyun and Chanyeol.
“They love us, they just love each other more,” Kyungsoo said. “They’re probably too busy over sleeping wrapped up in the blanket together.”
“Call them and tell them to get their asses over here.”
Luhan sighed, being the one to pull out his cell phone but he gets no signal. “They really are the perfect couple.”
xxxxxxxx
“Do you even care how I feel? You’re so god damn inconsiderate of my feelings.” Chanyeol yelled in the middle of the parking lot.
“It’s always about you!”
“It’s never about me!”
“So what if I don’t want to get married, you just jump to think I’d cheat on you? After all we’ve been through? You ing .” Baekhyun heaved, pacing back and forth, he tried to breathe. “I ing gave up everything to be with you here, and you don’t trust me? I left my home, family, everything to be with you and you don’t trust me?”
Chanyeol threw up his hands. “How am I supposed to react, Baek.”
“You’re supposed to accept me, trust me, trust me and what I tell you about my beliefs.”
The taller male rolled his eyes. “Bull, Baekhyun, you’re afraid of being stuck with me, I know you are. I can see it. Hesitant you’ve always been with me. Are you-are you ashamed to be with me?”
Baekhyun couldn’t believe what he was hearing, his heart beating fast. It hurt. His head, it hurt. Everything hurt. Baekhyun can’t convince Chanyeol he is the one for him, can’t convince him that marriage wouldn’t cut it for them. “ it, let’s just go and get this over with.” Baekhyun wiped his face and stomped back to their car. Chanyeol abruptly followed, got in, and drove them to Kris and Tao’s house.
“Hey yo! Anyone home!” Chanyeol announced himself as soon as they entered and Jongin, Tao, Kris, and Xiumin answered back. Chanyeol and Baekhyun walked into the living room, arms linked together and smiling, this is what they have to do.
“Chanyeol couldn’t find the car keys again,” Baekhyun lied and hit his boyfriend’s shoulder. Chanyeol chuckled. “What did we miss?”
“Nothing, brunch is almost over now,” Tao said.
“That’s too bad.”
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While the others fell into chatting, Luhan stayed quiet. He looked around at the other happy couples; excluding Xiumin, and a string pulls at his wounded heart. Why couldn’t he and Sehun by that way too? Why do things have to turn out this way.
Xiumin handed him a glass of wine and he took it.
Sehun looks down at him, transparent disapproval flashing across his face.
“Just one,” Luhan whispered, and covered his husband’s hand with his own but Sehun pulled away, and stood up to excused himself to the bathroom. The hurt struck him instantly, and Luhan let out a small whimper.
The chatter that once filled the room disappeared.
He’s trying. He is really trying, no one is perfect.
“Luhan?” Baekhyun said.
Luhan pursed his lips and stood to smile. “Sehun’s not feeling well today.” The others said nothing as he followed after his husband.
When he opened the door, he should have expected it. Sehun stands from thinking hard on the toilet lid and tells him to get out.
xxxxxxxx
In shock, the group stills in silence, and tries to listen for any yelling, there is a tense feeling in the air like it’s going to come soon-the storm is coming quick.
“Did we miss something? What’s up with Luhan?” Baekhyun asked, looking to Tao and Kris.
“We honestly don’t know, we’re as surprised as you are,” Kyungsoo says. He feels Jongin tightened his hold. He’s quiet. “Do you think they’re having problems?”
“Everyone has problems.”
“Not us.” Kyungsoo counters. “ We never fight, Jongin and I, unless it’s over who loves who more.”
Chanyeol scoffed. “Yeah, I don’t believe that, no one relationship can be that perfect.”
“Trust me, we know,” Baekhyun says.
“How are they supposed to trust a word you say, Baek, who can trust anything you say?”
If possible, Kyungsoo’s eyes grew bigger in size. Tao, Kris, and Xiumin sat staring at the couple. “Whoah, where did that come from?” Jongin asked.
Baekhyun untangled himself from Chanyeol and stands up. “And what do you know about trust, Chanyeol, what do you know about anything?”
“Since you’re the expert you tell me.” Chanyeol smiled bittersweet and cocked his head to the side.
“Can we just, eat and drink some more wine,” Xiumin says itching under the tension in the room. But there is a knock on the door and Kris awkwardly clears his throat to excuse himself. “I’ll get it.”
There neighbor is wearing a protective chemical suit and a gas mask. It’s Suho from next door. “Do you…need something?” Kris examines.
Suho tilted, he heard voices around the corner coming from the living room. “Having a party?”
“Not really, what’s up, what do you need?”
“You haven’t heard…?”
“Heard what?” Tao asked coming up to listen in on there conversation.
“You’re both serious?”
“Heard what?” Kris asked. “Why are you dressed in a chemical suit?”
“It’s all over the news, or was, I heard it on my radio. Haven’t you noticed the power outage, the sirens outside?”
“What?” Now that they have stopped to realize, the electricity is out, but the sun light coming from the windows make it difficult to notice, and they weren't able to get a bar of signal to call Baekhyun and Chanyeol earlier. How did they not notice this? If it was just the two of them here, they would have noticed right away. Tao and Kris base there life around technology, if it was any other day, it would have rose suspicion.
“Where are you getting at?”
“Bombs were set off. Dirt bombs. They've been sending out warnings all morning, and advising us all to stay in.”
Baekhyun laughed. He and Chanyeol, and the others had come to listen. “Dirt bombs? Like what is that exactly?”
Chanyeol blinked once and answered, “Dirt bombs are toxic bombs, they carry viruses. We won’t be able to see it, it’s why they tell us to stay inside.”
“Right,” Suho said.
“Then what are you doing here?” Kris asked, giving him a look.
“Came over to see if anyone else knew, I have some emergency flash lights and canned goods at my place. I’ll be barricading myself inside until some kind of rescue comes, you should probably do the same and tape up all the cracks and windows, the doors, all that.”
Kris actually looked amused. “Do you think I’m buying this?”
“It make’s since, doesn’t it?” Chanyeol said patting his shoulder. “No signal, the electricity is fried, something must be up.”
Suho nodded but Kris wasn’t so easily won over. “Take your crazy and get out of my house.” With that, he kicked him out and locked the door but it seemed to be he was the only non-believer, when Kris looked back at his friends and cocked a brow at their frightened faces. “You don’t actually believe him, do you?”
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Sehun leaned against the sink, his eyes are terrible, red, and puffy. Luhan held up the door not wanting him to leave. “Sehun, just listen to me!” He said loud but not loud enough to be a disturbance.
“It’s over, as soon as this thing is over, I’m leaving.”
Luhan hated crying, but Sehun was breaking him down, piece by piece. “I’ve said I’m sorry and I am! I’m sorry! I’m stupid, isn’t that what you want to hear?”
Sehun didn’t meet his gaze, Luhan’s own begging him to stay, ‘stay with me, please’. “It was a mistake, it didn’t mean to happen.”
“You could have stopped it.’
“I was drunk, Sehun!”
Sehun snapped, “That makes it okay? You’re drunk so you can go somebody else, you’re drunk so it didn’t mean anything? You’re drunk so you don’t think about who you’re married to?”
“Don’t go- don’t go like this, I messed up, you’re right okay? I was just-”
“Just what? Lonely? Bored?”
“No! I was-I don’t know, I’m a stupid ing mess up and I am so sorry for what I did, you are-” Luhan chokes on his words trying not to cry. “You are the only one I want. I’ve loved you for so long, Sehun, you don’t know how happy I was the first morning I woke up married to you.”
Sehun wanted to scream, rip his own hair out. Luhan, he was supposed to be his forever. “If it had been me-”
“If it had been you I would stupidly take you back in a heart beat. Please, Sehun, we just got married! A divorce? You want to end this without working through it?” Six months, they didn't even last six months.
“I bet you liked it, didn't you?” Sehun shoved Luhan’s body aside easily and pulled the door open. Luhan ran after him. “Sehun, Sehun will you stop running from me!”
His anger led the way, as he walked back to the other room. “What the ing hell is all this anyway? We come together and act like prude stuck up asses and act like we have perfect-fake-happy lives!” Sehun went through the kitchen to get to the door faster, where his group of friends where now crowded around at, and grabbed his jacket and smacked a bottle of wine off the table. It crashed on the floor. “ all of you, every single one of you.”
“Sehun, where are you going!” Luhan and his friends yelled behind him. Chanyeol and Kris ran to stop him from leaving.
“Get out of my way.”
“You can’t go out there!”
“Move!”
“We’re serious, Sehun, there’s a virus out there. Kris’s neighbor came by and warned us about it! We have to stay in until help comes to get us!”
Sehun looked taken aback, shaking his head. “Ex-what did you say?”
“Dirt bombs. The toxic gas is out there, everyone has been discussing it, just about to call you two down and tell you. We have to duct tape the vents and windows, the door too.”
“He’s right,” Kris said. “It’s crazy but it’s true. We’re safe in here as long as none of us let’s the air from outside seep inside.”
Sehun ran a furious hand through his hair. “We’re stuck here?”
“Yup.”
“We should find a radio then, find out what’s going on then,” Sehun said, then turned back. Luhan tried to reach for him, crying out his name. Sehun stopped in the dead center of the kitchen when he noticed Kyungsoo, and Jongin next to him, near the table. “Since we’re stuck here, Kyungsoo, you should probably know Luhan and Jongin had seven months ago.”
“Sehun!” Luhan yelled and quickly looked for Kyungsoo’s reaction. There wasn’t one.
“Oh, you didn’t know either?” Sehun said venomously, watching as the short male quietly stepped away, looking between his boyfriend and Sehun. “Jongin is the root of why we’re getting a divorce. Luhan broke and told me two weeks ago, only two weeks ago. He got married to me knowing he slept with someone else.”
Kyungsoo’s big eyes move to Luhan, then again to Sehun. “Why wouldn't…” But he doesn’t finish, and no one asked him to. Kyungsoo walks off to the other room alone.
No one else moved. “You can’t have Kyungsoo if I can’t have Luhan.” Sehun then left the room too.
Jongin darted his eyes to each pair around the kitchen, their faces showing disbelief and disappointment. He should apologize to them all but he doesn’t, the only thing he does is go after Kyungsoo.
xxxxxxxx
They’re all separated now, keeping to themselves, each person full of hostility and guilt, taping the windows with plastic and closing any vents they can find. Baekhyun was alone in one room while, Kris, Luhan, and Chanyeol boarded up the living. Tao and Sehun searched for a radio, and Kyungsoo locked himself in the bathroom, for the past hour Jongin has been trying to get him to come out and talk.
“Me and Baekhyun are over,” Chanyeol whispered to Kris.
“Why?”
“He doesn’t love me like I love him. We don’t want the same thing after all.”
Kris bit off the tape and flattened it against the plastic on the edge of the window to hold it in place. “You and Baekhyun fight all the time.”
“It’s different this time, he won’t even look at me. I’m not going to apologize and he never will, we all know that. Sometimes I really believe he’s in love with the idea of loving me because we work so well together and…” Chanyeol trailed off and swallowed a lump in his throat as Baekhyun’s adorable laughter rang inside his head. “He’s right though, I’m an idiot because I miss him.”
Kris and Chanyeol move to the next window. “What should I do?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“You and Tao have been married eight years, how? How do you both do it?”
Kris smirks. “All that Tao goes on about, about communication; that works. We have our days, we’re not in the best position right now even but we talk it out. He wants to adopt and I want a business and-” Kris sighs. “-And I don’t know why I’m telling you this.”
“Because we’re friends! !” Chanyeol kicked the couch out of frustration. “Sehun had a point back there, we act like things should be perfect, that just because we’re all getting older we have to drink wine and have brunch.”
“Tao loves brunch.”
“Baek loves scotch, hard soju, we both do. Why can’t we just do how we used to do and meet up randomly or meet up and get drunk so that we reallywill talk to each other.” Chanyeol was making sense, Kris noted. After rambling on for another moment, Chanyeol turned around to ask Luhan for more plastic and Luhan holds up a piece, crying, swollen in heart ache.
Chanyeol’s shoulders sag. He didn’t want to deal with that type of issue Luhan was having but hadn’t he just agreed to talking more to each other? “Dammit, Luhan, why’d you go and up like that.”
Luhan bit back his falling tears. “Sehun hates me.”
Chanyeol pulled him up from sitting on the back of the couch and pushed him into a hug and held him in his big arms. “I’m sure he doesn’t hate you,” Kris says calmly. “He’s mad, that’s all.”
“He wants a divorce, he’s really going through with it. He’s been packing his stuff for the last three days. I’ve tried everything to make him stay, I made us dinner, I threw petals on the bed, I tried to relive our first nights but he doesn’t talk to me,” Luhan sobbed shamelessly into Chanyeol’s shirt, balling his fist and letting it all out. “He doesn’t want me.”
“Then…then it’s true what he said? That you and Jongin…”
“Yeah.”
“You should talk to him,” Kris suggested.
Luhan sniffed. “I tried. I tried earlier and that’s what happens when I do. He leaves like that he just…leaves.”
xxxxxxxx
“Babe, open the door.”
“Why?”
“I want to talk to you.”
“Talk.”
“Face to face.”
“No.” Kyungsoo isn’t crying, not a tear from his eyelids have fallen from his face. He is pressed to the door and is trying to think about all the signs that maybe he had missed. No one relationship is that perfect. He’d thought they were, or close to that. Although the group envied Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s relationship, Kyungsoo and Jongin were the real ones that deserved the envy-did deserve it.
Jongin was playful and he knew the right things to say to make his boyfriend smile, he was touchy and grabbed Kyungsoo whenever he felt need to. Kyungsoo is more reserved but he never minded it. Their relationship was good, wasn’t it? They went out regularly, kissed often, gave each other space..
Then as Kyungsoo listened to Jongin call his name on the other side of the door, he realized that maybe that was just it. He wasn’t as interesting as Luhan, not much of a challenge either. Kyungsoo wasn’t sassy like Baekhyun or full of wisdom like Tao, nowhere near amazing like Chanyeol, what was he? Regular? Average?
“Jongin,” Kyungsoo says.
“Open the door, babe.”
Kyungsoo continued without doing so. “I’m cute right?”
“Yes!”
“I’m smart.”
“Yes, Kyungsoo.”
“I can be witty too, I’m…Kyungsoo, is that enough for you?”
“Babe, it’s more than enough.”
Kyungsoo has this thing he’s never realized he had before. Being with Jongin for so long, he can hear the truth and lies in his voice, and Kyungsoo opens the door. Jongin isn’t crying either, Kyungsoo decides he doesn’t care.
“You opened up.”
“There’s nothing wrong with me, really, there never was and never will be. You need more than one person sometimes, Jongin, but I don’t.”
Jongin creased his eyebrows and stared straight into those big eyes he loves. Kyungsoo starts to walk but stops. “Where are you going now?” Jongin asked.
“To look for some more wine.”
“What about us?”
Kyungsoo and Jongin eye each other, and it’s almost the same loving stare they gave each other last night.
“What about us,” Kyungsoo says.
Xxxxxxxx
“What does that mean?” Tao asked Sehun as they listened in close to the static coming from the radio in his hand, they could only make out a few words. VX. And another warning before it cuts out completely. “I don’t know.” Sehun hits the thing a couple more times but the signal won’t come back. “We should tell the others, Chanyeol will know what it means.” Sehun looks in the boxes for more emergency items. “But I don’t want to go back up there.”
“We can’t stay down here.”
Sehun shrugged. “Go back up there if you want to.”
xxxxxxxx
Baekhyun found Kyungsoo sitting classy at the table by himself and drinking straight from the bottle. “Kyungie,” He said cautiously approaching the table. “What are you doing in here by yourself?”
Kyungsoo offered the wine over and Baekhyun took it.
“I’m sorry to hear about you and-” Baekhyun smirked. “Nevermind, what’s the point, sorry can’t fix it, we .”
Kyungsoo pulled himself up to sit on top of the table and Baekhyun copied him. “I hurt Chanyeol too, not the way Jongin hurt you or, you know, but our problems are equal.”
“What did you do?”
“I-I guess he doesn’t trust me because I don’t want to get married. I don’t believe in marriage and I don’t want to turn out like Lu--nevermind.”
“How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?”
Baekhyun shrugged, he laid his head down on Kyungsoo’s shoulder and sighed. “Chanyeol is the smart one, not me.”
xxxxxxxx
“, , ,” Chanyeol panicked
“What! What the hell does it mean!” Sehun shouted, holding the worthless radio in his hand.
“It means it’s not radiation. It’s going to seep through because it’s too ing thick. VX is the deadliest toxic bomb known to us. It’s going to kill us, seep through eventually and if we’re all lucky enough we’ll pass out before experiencing any of its effects,” Chanyeol told everyone. “!”
“What? What does this mean!” Sehun shouts again.
“Did you not hear him? It’s going to kill each one of us, within 24 hours, you and everyone else here will be dead.” Kris said emphasizing on the word dead.
“No…” Tao whispered. “This…this can’t be happening, can it? It isn’t really happening, right? You’re joking about this.”
“Unfortunately, it’s the truth. Tao, everyone, I wish it wasn’t this, I wish there is something else I can say to turn it into a joke, to make it less...less real but , it won’t be long until…”
“There has to be a way to survive this right?” Luhan asked.
“No. There isn’t anything we can do.” Chanyeol looks off to the doorway, Baekhyun and Kyungsoo heard everything, and suddenly, Baekhyun seemed too far away from him.
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Silence has dawned upon them. Kyungsoo just drank his wine, not too bothered by any of it. Majority separated again, no one wanted to be together, even if it was the last day of their lives.
Baekhyun watched Chanyeol staring at the wall in the corner of the living room. Baekhyun wanted to stretch his arm out across the room and touch him. He still very much loved Chanyeol, Chanyeol loves him too so why didn’t he ever just say yes, yes Chanyeol I will marry you. It would have been nice; it would have been the beginning of something new and beautiful.
They have missed out now, missed out on the wedding planning, the happiness, the honey moon, they’ve missed out on it all and he is to blame. He does not blame Chanyeol for not trusting him, he is, indeed a flirt, but he has never touched, has never kissed, has never made love to anyone but him. Never held or have been held by another pair of arms.
Baekhyun is faithful. Thinking back now, he must have truly been afraid from the start to be with just Chanyeol forever but why? Park Chanyeol is the greatest boyfriend to him and would probably be the greatest husband too. Baekhyun is selfish, he knows this, that he has to always have it his way and Chanyeol deserves more than what Baekhyun allows himself to give to him.
Baekhyun has pride; however, pride is not something he needs. Chanyeol is.
“I’m..” Baekhyun sat down next to Chanyeol and didn’t know how to start his speech. “I want to be your wife, Chanyeol,” Baekhyun says, because Chanyeol likes to call Baekhyun the future wife. Baekhyun loathes it, but Chanyeol, Chanyeol loves it.
“It’s too late, Baek.”
Baekhyun feels horrible. “It’s not too late. Ask me.” Please.
“I’m not in the mood to do this. Do you not understand what’s going on here?”
Baekhyun smiled, with tears in his eyes, smiled the smile Chanyeol loves the most, and Chanyeol can see the hurt when he meets his gaze. “I love when you smile like that, Baek.”
“I know.” His hand finds the bigger one and laced his fingers between them. “Chanyeol, ask me.”
“What’s it matter?”
“It matters to me. Chanyeol, will you marry me…please?”
Chanyeol is at lost for words. Their hands locked together, never letting go. Chanyeol speaks again a brief pause later. “Love is easy, Baek.”
“I know. Trust me, okay? I love you, only you. I see you, only you. I’ve lived with you and I can’t live without you. I will die with you.”
Chanyeol nodded. “I trust you.” And he is grinning again. “I don’t have a ring to give you now though.”
“It’s alright. I don’t need a ring.” Baekhyun leaned in and kissed him. The kiss, It’s full of wishes and wants.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol stay seated in the corner, wrapped in each other because nothing else matters. Their last, will be nothing but kisses.
“You guys made up, joy.”
They part to see Kyungsoo waving the bottle of wine at them.
xxxxxxxx
Luhan passed Jongin in the hallway, “Where is he?” He asked.
Jongin threw his thumb over his shoulder pointing in the direction behind him. “He’s in the bedroom.” When Luhan moved, Jongin grabbed him. “Look, Luhan, it isn’t going to end good like the way you want it to if you go see him. It’s better if you drop it, spend your time with me, we don’t have to talk about any of this if you don’t want to.”
“Do you forgive yourself for what we did?”
“A long time ago.”
“I don’t want to lose my husband.”
“Does he feel the same way?” Luhan shook his head silently answering back no. “Then what are you doing? Why are you trying so hard?”
“Because I’m in love with him.”
xxxxxxxx
Luhan knocks on the door and enters. Sehun has his head bowed, and he is sitting at the edge of the bed. “I ruined a lot of things.” Sehun doesn’t say anything to him but he runs his tongue over his lips and Luhan knows that he is listening.
“It’s not okay if you don’t forgive me. I’m going to chase you into our next life and marry you again, do it right next time.”
Sehun cannot look at him, because if he does, he will break, crumble, and fall into Luhan’s arms and take him back. He won’t do it. His mind is made up and he fails to care if it might be the last day they have here together to try again. He wants to leave this life alone, free from all his problems.
Luhan rubs his arms, standing awkwardly alone by the door frame. “If there is one thing I can re-due, it wouldn’t be this what I have done, it would be waiting around too nervously to tell you I loved you. I want to re-live our first kiss.”
And Sehun is standing, Luhan knows he is going to walk out. If Sehun stays, he won’t be able to breathe a moment longer.
Luhan looks up at him as they linger, and he begs him to say something but in the end, Sehun does that thing that hurts to him the most. He leaves.
xxxxxxxx
Kris and Tao are sitting together, cuddled on the couch, and watching the clock on the wall. How much longer do they have now?
Baekhyun and Chanyeol move to join them across from the couple, the separate pairs smile at each other.
“What are you doing?” Tao asked seeing Baekhyun writing down notes.
“We’re planning our wedding.”
Tao laughs. “We’re practically dead,” Kris says.
Chanyeol doesn’t care, Baekhyun doesn’t either. “We’re getting married though,” They tell the other couple.
“Good for you.”
Tao adores watching the two, they have a special kind of love, those two.
Tao, in the simplest way that he can, asked Kris if they will adopt one or two children. Startled, Kris doesn’t know what he should say but he quickly catches on and settles for saying two. They’re the calmest enduring this news, there is nothing any of them can do to change what’s to come. Death is inevitable in this crucial lovely ending of their lives.
Xiumin, is really the only one who hid because of the shock, he haven’t spoken much, just finally joined Kyungsoo until the bottle was empty. He, Xiumin, and Jongin are sitting at the table. “This is really it then,” Xiumin says. “I wonder what my last words will be before I pass out, I hope it isn’t anything stupid.”
Kyungsoo smiled, he was trying to make light of the situation. Jongin and Kyungsoo appreciates it and in return offers the same comforting light conversation.
“Kyungsoo,” Jongin called. “How do you feel?”
“Still fine.”
“Hey, do you think if none of this was to happen that we would all be sitting here, that we would all still be friends?”
“If this was my choice, I wouldn’t be here right now.” And Kyungsoo answered that honestly.
“None of us would be,” Jongin said.
Xiumin dropped his chin in his hands. “To think, I’m dying single.”
Kyungsoo and Jongin smiles.
xxxxxxxx
Sehun stopped in the hallway, waiting until Luhan collected himself and then came out of the bedroom. It’d been a while. Luhan stiffened in place when he saw him. “Were you waiting for me?”
“Would you have forgiven me?” Sehun asked.
Luhan isn’t lying when he says yes.
“Do you know I love you, Luhan?”
“Do you know I love you too?”
“If you loved me…” Sehun couldn’t finish.
“If I loved you, I would apologize with every chance I can until our time here is up and that is what I plan to do. I’m sorry, Sehun, I-I don’t…” Luhan closed his eyes. “I can’t take it back, I’ve tried. I’ve tried while you stayed gone out of our apartment and I cried myself to sleep wishing I could take it back.” He opens them again, and in their eyes there is so much there, so much left between them that Sehun isn’t ready to let go of.
“I don’t know what else I can say to you.”
“There is nothing more that you can say.” Sehun pushed off the wall. “I forgive you.” But he’s walking away, moving away from him again and Luhan is tired of it. Exhausted, worn out from the entire thing. Sehun wants it to be over, he should learn to let him go.
“Luhan.”
Luhan catches his breath. Sehun extends his arm out, hand out, and it’s for him. “Aren’t you coming?”
Luhan takes a hesitant step then charged at him, falling carelessly into his hold. They embrace one another and Sehun kisses the top of his head. “Let’s just be together, okay? Just be together.”
“Sehunnie,” Luhan cried. It’s that all he could say at the time.
“Shh, we’re okay, we don’t have to go through this alone.”
Luhan looked up and places his lips against Sehun’s, kissing him, loving him while he still can.
“Let’s do it one more time.”
“Do what?”
“I want to make love one more time, you and I, together as one, for the last time.”
And Luhan kisses him again.
xxxxxxxx
It’s starting, they all can feel it. It’s coming. Chanyeol tells them of what they should expect to feel, what the effects will be like and it’s too much. It’s a decision they all make to conjure up something and mix it in with the last bottle of wine they have. They don’t drink it tough, it’s not time yet.
They’re all grouped in the living room, Xiumin on the floor sitting next to Kyungsoo, Jongin in the chair above them, while Baekhyun and Chanyeol take up one side of the couch, Sehun and Luhan on the other side. Tao and Kris also cuddled up on the couch sitting across from them.
“Guys,” Xiumin says. “This has been one hell of a day.”
“Did we announce to the rest of you that we’re getting married, Chanyeol and me,” Baekhyun says. Chanyeol grinned and the group finds the polite decency to applaud them for it. It’s just like another regular get together now.
“I’m happy for you,” Luhan said, nuzzled into Sehun’s lap under their blanket. “Sehun and I aren’t getting a divorce. He adores me too much.”
Sehun chuckled. “I do?”
“Yes, you do!”
Chanyeol approves of what he sees. “A divorce doesn’t fit you two anyway,” He said. None of them talk about it, about what’s coming.
“Do you think we’ll find each other in the after life?” Tao asked.
“I’ll find Sehun first, then I’ll get to everyone else later,” Luhan says. They laugh.
“Great, we see how much you love us,” Jongin shot back.
Sehun pulls, Luhan, his husband, closer and kissed him again.
Kyungsoo is the one who does it first, he touched his nose after coughing and sees blood then the glasses are picked up. “What is this going to do to us?” Xiumin wondered, he already knew as well as everyone else but had to be sure.
“Sleep,” Kris said. “It’ll put us into a nice long sleep.”
“What if we shouldn’t do this? What if we can survive it?”
Chanyeol smiles and reality is left to sink in. “The count of three.”
Kris turns to Tao.
1.
Kyungsoo, Xiumin, and Jongin exchange nods.
2.
Luhan and Sehun whisper I love you.
3.
Baekhyun and Chanyeol drink, over-under linked arms like newly weds.
________________________
A/N Errrrr IDEK
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