The solitude of the car was driving you crazy, you just kept on hearing the doctor’s words repeat in your head.

You are suffering from depression.

Those words rung through your head as you pulled out of the hospital’s parking lot. They ordered the test for you since you had to have a physical and mental exam for your next job. You had that initial exam a week ago but you had to come back to get your results. Time flew as you traveled to your house, pulling the car into the parking space. Fighting tears you got out from your car and walked to the building, letting the chilling air freeze the daring tears that threatened to roll down your cheek. Swinging the door open you walked up the stairs avoiding the elevator. Stomping up the three flights of stairs you finally made it to your door.

Sliding the brass key into it’s slot you turned the key and the handle at the same time to unlock your abode.  Slowly moving into the small apartment, you slipped off your shoes extra slowly, seeing Soohyun’s street shoes. You hung up your purse and jacket as you entered into the house. Rounding the corner you found a table full of food, and a sleepy Soohyun resting his head against his arms which rested on the table. With a weak, strained smile you walked over to him and rubbed your hands over his back placing a kiss on his head. He stirred gently as he sat up and turned to you.

"I wanted to wait for you" Soohyun’s deep voice comforted as you sat across from him.

"Thank you" Soohyun handed you some condiments to put on your rice as you barely ate. Getting some food into your stomach you felt a little better, but the dark diagnosis cloud still hung over you and Soohyun noticed.

"Is there anything wrong Jagiya?" He watched you as you shook your head and put some meat into your mouth. You finished your meal as he ate a little more as well. You excused yourself from the table and went to your bedroom to change into some relaxing clothes as you began to cry your tears out. Soohyun put away the extra food and cleaned the plates. Once he finished he moved to the couch and watched some of the music news until you joined him.

Snuggling into his shoulder, your legs rested over his as you played with his fingers.

"So did the results turn out?" He asked on a commercial break, turning to you.

"Fine" You buried your head into his shirt not wanting him to see your swelling tears that began to form once again in your eyes. 

"Well were they normal? Is there something that they found?" Soohyun asked as he muted the tv and turned all of his attention to you. You ran over what the doctor had told you.

Depression. How were you supposed to tell him now. Well he was your boyfriend for a couple years and you had trusted him with things but not as big or devastating as this. But it isn’t like you changed, you just had a name to go with your mood that always seem to come out no matter how happy your day was.

After a while of you not responding his hand traveled around your back as your hands clenched onto his shirt tightening the tension around his muscles. Taking in several shaky, shallow breaths he hugged you tight as you built the courage to tell him.

"S-Soohyun?" You paused as he nodded making you quietly proceed, "They diagnosed me with depression." Tears streamed down your face uncontrollably as you back heaved trying to get oxygen into your lungs.

Soohyun just held you closer trying to understand what the severity of it is. He knew that he wouldn’t leave you for the world even with this new found knowledge. He knew that he would help you through it. No matter what it takes.

"I’m ugly. I can’t do anything right. How can someone love me when I can’t love myself. How come this happened to me, everything bad happens to me." You rambled on letting everything out that you needed to. Soohyun just held you tighter, hearing this and the way that you talked about yourself made his heart break but he had to be there for you, if not him who else. Constant crying commenced for a couple hours as the insults to yourself began to dwindle. As you crying slowed he slowly began to reassure you that he was never going to leave you.

"I want to help you, I will stay with you forever" Soohyun said as he rocked you back and forth.

"People that say that, never stay" You mumbled as you were pulled from his shoulder and to his strong but loving eyes.

"I am not going to leave you, I knew you before you got diagnosed. I love you for the way you are. I am going to help you. It might take the rest of my life but I am going to finish this. If it takes me the rest of my life to prove that you are beautiful I will do it. I want to show you that I love you and that I care for you deeply. I love you, so we are going to take baby steps to get you to where you want to be. I will help you in any way I can. Please" His plea was enough to sway more tears out of you but these were tears of happiness and love then pain, regret and sorrow. He gently got you up, turning off the tv. He lead you into your bedroom and faced you in front of the mirror. Wrapping his arms around your waist his chin rested on your shoulder holding you in place so you couldn’t escape.

"Tell me one thing that you like about yourself and then you can go to bed." Soohyun stared at your figure and could name off countless qualities and traits that you have that he adored.

"Soohyun this is stupid" You said quickly adverting your eyes

"Baby steps" He whispered as he kissed your cheek then your neck, looking back into the mirror you watched yourself for a half an hour. "You found anything yet?" He asked gently as he saw your mind fighting the discouraging words.

"I- I like…" You stopped dropping your eyes, he nuzzled your head back up to the mirror. "I-I like my eyes"

"Why?" He asked as he smiled happy that you overcame that step.

"They make me able to see you, and they are the first things I notice when I look into the mirror when I get up." He smiled kissing your cheek once more as he released his grip from you. You quickly picked up his hands and put them back. "Now you~"

"What?" Soohyun’s eyes widened

"You have to take baby steps with me. If I am going to get through this you have to help me and do what I do too" You were dead serious as you knew that if he really loved you he would also do his exercises with you.

"I like my smile, because it only appears when you are around." You blush, biting your lip holding back a smile that eventually made it to your lips.

"Baby steps?" Soohyun turned you around in his arms to look at him.

Nodding you answered, “Baby steps” He gently tilted his head and pressed his lips into yours, pulling both of you close together, showing you how much you mean to him.