Class begins

Your a Boy

                                                        Your P.O.V

Class was about to start so me and [F/N] rush to a seat I sat in between [F/N] and that girl we saw earlier she was beautiful to think my mom sent me here not to have been distracted by boy but I might turn gay for that girl I wonder what my mom might think what was I thinking. The teacher just walk in we even have a girl teacher " Class today we will introduce each other untill it got to that girl. "Hello" she said kinda said shy but not to shy "My name ren" The other girl started to laught "That sound like a boys name" "Hey That not nice you shouldn't make fun of her because her name sound like a boys name" I shout to them. The teacher look at me " What would your name be" She said to me [Y/N]

                                                   Ren P.O.V 

I look at the girl who stand up to me from those girl who made fun of my name the teacher ask for her name she said it was [Y/N]  " You need to apologize to the head principal daughter" the teacher said [Y/N] bow her head "Sorry" She said and then the bell rang " You can go now" the teacher said. I want to [Y/N]  and said thank you she smile at me and said your welcome 

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caterinechizen #1
Chapter 3: Again, the same thing here. Same mistakes, the narration and the dialogue Need to be Split, you should do it like this:

"Class was about to start but before I thought I should say something to that pretty girl next to my best friend.
-Hi - I said taking sit.
-Hello - The pretty girl said to me, I can tell she's kinda shy, not at all but still, she is."

You get it? That way is so much easy to us (to read it). I hope you don't get mad or angry, 'cause what I really want is your improvement.

Bye
caterinechizen #2
Chapter 1: Okay, first. You really need to split the dialogue. Make sure also about correct your grammatical and orthographic mistakes. The name of the fic is wrong, it should be: "You're a boy", no "Your a boy", that don't make any sense. Also, chapters should be a lot longer than this. Please make sure to think about this and improve, I think the plot is so nice and good, and I really want to read it, but like there are so many things wrong, I have to let you know. Have a nice day and please update soon.
BlueJoker427 #3
Chapter 1: <3 I think this is going to be really interesting
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