Beginning Of School

Your a Boy

Your P.O.V

I was on my way to school untill I saw a really pretty girl.I was About to go up to her but i saw my best friend [F/N]. Hey [F/N] I said waving to her I ran up to her pasting the girl. Hey [Y/N].What up [Y/N]? She ask me. Nothing really but I did just the most Beautiful girl ever [F/N].Really where [Y/N]?. She ask.Behide us [F/N]. She look at the girl she really Pretty [Y/N].I know I told her. Now that I think about going to a all girl school isn`t bad,I thought.I heard the school bell ring and we both ran to the school Building

Ren P.O.V

I wonder why those girls where looking at me.I said and walk to the school building.I can`t believe am pretending to be a girl. I sigh and walk in the beginning of school 

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caterinechizen #1
Chapter 3: Again, the same thing here. Same mistakes, the narration and the dialogue Need to be Split, you should do it like this:

"Class was about to start but before I thought I should say something to that pretty girl next to my best friend.
-Hi - I said taking sit.
-Hello - The pretty girl said to me, I can tell she's kinda shy, not at all but still, she is."

You get it? That way is so much easy to us (to read it). I hope you don't get mad or angry, 'cause what I really want is your improvement.

Bye
caterinechizen #2
Chapter 1: Okay, first. You really need to split the dialogue. Make sure also about correct your grammatical and orthographic mistakes. The name of the fic is wrong, it should be: "You're a boy", no "Your a boy", that don't make any sense. Also, chapters should be a lot longer than this. Please make sure to think about this and improve, I think the plot is so nice and good, and I really want to read it, but like there are so many things wrong, I have to let you know. Have a nice day and please update soon.
BlueJoker427 #3
Chapter 1: <3 I think this is going to be really interesting
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