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" Dae?"

" Yea Tif?" He asked while Tiffany's hair, staring at her adoringly. They were lying on the bed cuddling, enjoying each other's company. To Daesung, Tiffany is the most beautiful creature. She is a gem in his eyes. Ever shining so brightly under the sun, under the moonlight. He love her more than anything and it is the first time he ever felt this way. Tiffany is his soulmate and her every emotion can affect him greatly. 

 

" What if, just what if... I leave you for good..?"  Tiffany heart thumped wildly as she ask the question. She is afraid of the answer although she knew Daesung love her more than she do. Daesung might not be the very best looking man, however whenever he smiles, Tiffany's heart will skip a beat. Tiffany has many flaws but Daesung always makes her feel perfect. With Daesung, everything is perfect, together they are perfect. Many of times, Tiffany did not have to speak and Daesung would already have guessed her thoughts. He wouldn't show that he knew, but would silently do things Tiffany likes to cheer her up or do anything to make her feel better. 

 

" Wae?! Are you going to leave me?!" Daesung sat up abruptly shocked at what Tiffany said. Daesung never had once thought that Tiffany will cheat on him.. Or leave him. It hurts him so much to think of the possibilities of why Tiffany said that. His mind is confused, lost. Trust. Yes trust. He needs to trust her before he came to any conclusion. 

 

" Tell me what's wrong Tif."

 

Tiffany didn't answer his question but rather just sat there awkwardly, not knowing how to continue. She is afraid, extremely afraid. Unconsciously, tears started forming at the corner of her eyes as she thought of that day... That one fine day when she really needs to leave him... For good. The heartache they'll experience and the hollow feeling they'll feel in their chests, a missing piece in their picture perfect life.

 

" Hush.. Hush.. Don't cry Tif. You know it makes me sad to see you cry. Whatever happens I'm here for you. I'm always here alright? I'm here.." Daesung quickly wrapped his arms around Tiffany to stop her from crying. It is as though he have built up a wall using his embrace to shield Tiffany from any hurt and this made Tiffany feel secure. It eases her insecurities and anxieties for she is secure. She is safe in Daesung's embrace. Having warmth and all, it soothes her nerves and makes her feel calm all over again. Daesung sees that Tifany has stopped crying and started relaxing. He knows something is troubling Tiffany and he must and will find out what it is. 

 

"Tif..." He looks at Tiffany and found her fast asleep. He smiled. Tiffany looks even more angelic when asleep. He looks at her peaceful face to memorise it while tracing  his finger down her jawline, tucking loose strands of hairs behind her ear at the same time. He planted soft kisses on her forehead before putting a blanket over her. 

 

While leaving the room something caught his attention- a diary with a paper clipped inside lying on the bedside table. Tiffany never writes a dairy. She prefer to live her life than to reminiscent it. This got Daesung really curious even though it is her privacy and he should have respected it. He opened it and got a shock.

 

'I'm writing this diary so I can remember the happiest time before I pass on. '

 

Daesung heart clenched... ' Before I pass on'...?

He slowly flipped through the following pages which were filled with what she did for the pass month, until the last page...

 

Dear Daesung,

 

I don't know why I am writing this, because I really hope that this never gets to you, because if it does that means I am gone. Thank you for treating like a princess, you've showed me how it feels like to be loved. Thank you for making me feel like the only girl, thank you for making me smile. Thank you for everything you've done for me.

You know, every time you kissed me and our lips touched so softly, I could feel it. I got the same magical feeling as our first kiss. I could feel it when our hearts get so close they are beating as one, our souls combined as one.

You are the beat of my heart, the soul in my body; You are me, because without you I am nothing. You are the person that understands me when the whole world doesn't. The person that stays by my side when the everyone abandons me and the person that supports me even when the whole world to against me. 

You have shown me how to live and you have shown me how to be truly happy. I want you to know that every time I smile, it's because of you. You make me smile when others can't, you make me feel warm when I am cold.

You have shown me so much love and so much more. I want you to know how much you mean to me. You are my whole world and I love you with all my heart. You are my happiness.

Every night I spent away I had a photo of you on my headboard. Each night I would go to bed, kiss my fingers then touch your face. I put the photo over my bed so you could look over me as I slept. Well, now it is my turn to look over you as you sleep and keep you safe in your dreams. I will always be looking over you to make sure you're safe.

Daesung, I just want to say, you are the best thing that ever happened in my life and I'm glad you came. Although I wanna be really selfish.. But if you find another girl, don't lose her because of me. I want you to be happy. I maybe gone physically, but I'll always be by your side. Just close your eyes and I'll be there, right by your side. Right next to you. I hope I'll meet you in my next life for I have so much to say, so much to do and can't because time doesnt allow me to. Please don't cry Dae... Please don't. Smile. Smile for me because I love it when you smile. 

Love always and forever, 

Tiffany 

 

Daesung dropped the dairy on the floor. His heart clenched painfully. A huge lump formed at the back of his throat making him unable to speak. He couldn't breathe. He forgot how to. He clutched his bleeding heart tightly to ease the pain.  Daesung was dumbfounded and speechless. He is lost and didn't know how to carry on. Tears formed at the corner of his eyes as their memories flashed in his mind like a broken old record. Her smile. Her laughter. Her touch. Her warmth. Everything. Daesung is going to miss everything about her for he love her very much. 

 

" What should I do? " Daesung caught his head in his hands as he sobbed uncontrollably. It was too much to bear. 

 

"How do you expect me to continue smiling Tif?" He look at Tiffany's peaceful sleeping face, completely oblivious to what Daesung have found out. 

"Will it be better this way? For Tiffany to not know I've found out about it? " He thought as a wave of pain hit him once more. He wants to escape... Just for a little while. He needs to gather his thoughts and find his way out. He needs to pick himself up before Tiffany wakes up. Daesung head throbs wildly. 

 

------

Run away. I wanna run away right now...

 

No I can't leave Tif when she needs me the most.

 

Are you stupid she going to be gone soon, you'll be hurt more then. Run away when you can. 

 

"Stop st-STOP!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!! "

 

Daesung was standing at the edge of a cliff. His hideout from the world. He was letting his emotions out allowing his thoughts to run wild. He wants to give up, but no he won't. He can't.  Tiffany needs him... He needs Tiffany. He needs to be there for her when she need him. He wants to be the last person Tiffany sees before she close her eyes.. before.. before she goes to a place. A place where he won't and can't exist in. 

 

Taking out the paper that was clipped in Tiffany's diary.. It was a paper he threw away a few weeks ago... Where he wrote a melody, a sad one. He didn't know why at that point in time he had this obnoxious and melancholic feeling which resulted all the melodies he wrote to be a sad one. Maybe he saw this coming.. Maybe a part of him could feel it... Daesung didn't like feeling sad and thus he threw the paper away in hope of throwing away those feelings too. But it came back into his hands. He didn't know of this was a sign or a warning.. Or simply a déjà vu.

 

He scanned the paper and found out Tiffany had filled in the lyrics.. Lyrics which brought tears to his eyes once more...

 

' I love you, because we are too young,

There are secrets about our love that must remain untouched

I love you, it's something that we can't reach in our lives right ' 

 

Daesung sobbed uncontrollably. His heart couldn't take it. People may find it funny that such a well built man was sobbing like a baby..but they didn't know that beneath those layers of defense is a vunerable Daesung. He is afraid. Afraid that he couldn't be strong for Tiffany. He knows that at such a crucial point in time he shouldn't be over thinking but he just can't stop. He didn't know if he still could face Tiffany. He didn't know what to do... And once again he was lost. Deep down he knew the answer, however, he just wasn't prepared for the consequences once he decides...

 

-----

 

" Dae?!" Tiffany woke up abruptly. She had a nightmare. A nightmare that she was extremely afraid of - Daesung knowing about her illness and had chose to leave her.

 

" Dae?!" she called out once more when no one replied. She was panicking... On the edge of breaking down...

 

"Dae-" she turned to her left and got a shocked... Her diary was lying on her bedside table... and that piece of paper was missing... 

 

" Ohmy! Dae?!" she rushed out of the room and search the entire house. 

 

"Dae where are you??" she ran from room to room only to find that he is not here with her... He is gone..  is he... Is he gone for good? Tiffany is mad at herself for being so careless, for leaving the diary on the table... The more she thought of it the harder she cried.

 

The door unlocked.

 

"Dae? " Tiffany cried out in between sobs.

 

" Tiffany what happened? Why are you crying?" Daesung asked in concern.

Tiffany's heartache immediately vanished. All the pain she felt was replace by happiness- that Daesung came back even after knowing her illness. She ran and lunged herself into Daesung's arms. Warmth, happiness, security..finally. 

 

" Thank you dae. Thank you for coming back... Thank you... Thank you for not leaving." Tiffany said while nuzzling her head into Daesung's chest.

 

" I'll never leave you. Never... " Daesung broke down crying too. It was a promise made. A promise is he unsure and afraid of.. but he will keep it..

 

---

" Dae I can't sleep..." 

 

" Really? Shall I drive you out for a spin? To enjoy the beautiful night life.." Daesung paused for his heart crushed at the thought of the words that came into his mind.

 

'... Before you're gone.." 

 

" mmmh.. Can we? Or are you tired?" 

 

" Anything for you baby girl" 

 

" Then let's go!" Tiffany jumped out of his embrace, suddenly excited.

Daesung chuckled at her childishness. Tiffany froze. Those laughter she would dearly miss, the laughter that made her heart skip a beat, the laughter that we're music to her ears, a beautiful melody. Even after Daesung stopped, the notes of his melodious laughter were still ringing in her ears. Her chest felt empty once again and she knew she was going to cry. However she will not let that happen. She will not ruin the mood, she have to all her emotions in. 

 

---

" Ahh~ Tiff, when we marry... I'll buy you the world's prettiest gown along and create the most luxurious and extravagant wedding.. You'll be the princess and I'll be your prince.. It will be a world affair...You see, you can't help it when you're husband is Big Bang's Daesung! And we'll go to Paris for our honeymoon, we'll take pictures under the Eiffel tower just like you've always wanted. And then.. It be time for us to have little angels whom we'll spend the rest of our lives loving.. Sounds like a good plan? "

 

Daesung asked while looking at Tiffany.

However, Tiffany had fallen asleep listening to Daesung rambling excitedly about their future. Her head were filled with happy thoughts and hence she fell asleep. She dreamt. She dreamt about their future, a future she is uncertain of. Having her illness made her feel like she was standing on a ticking time bomb that will explode any minute. She don't know when will all this ends. All she hopes is that she can live till the day when she have their little angels.. Then she'll leave with no regrets as she knows there will be people to accompany Daesung through his heart break. Filling in her place, taking away the pain making it all much more bearable. She hopes.. Yet she knows clearly it was impossible... Her future seems so close yet so far.

 

Daesung looked at the Tiffany's tranquil face and smiled. He parks the car at the side walk, looking out of the window, he saw the gown Tiffany pointed to. She said it was her dream grown. Perhaps when someone is in love, they will do just anything for that person. What he did next was unexpected and definitely not Daesung- he took a fire extinguisher and threw it with all his strength at the display, shattering the glass. He felt as though he had to do in there and then. He felt as though he had to do everything immediately before it's all too late. He didn't want regrets. He hated them. He undress the mannequin and took the gown, it shall be his surprise for tiffany when she wakes up. 

 

---

Tiffany's laughter were resounding throughout the area, they were under a bridge and Tiffany was having fun with her bubble blower, dress in her dream gown. Daesung was happy seeing his angel filled with so much happiness and the sight was simply blissful. He wanted time to pause there, for him and her to live in that moment.. stay in that moment. Their future was much too unpredictable and anything can happen after the moment. Seeing her smile made him contented. Seeing him smile made her contented. They just needed each other for everything to be perfect. 

 

" Thank you for everything Dae. You're the best thing that happen to me. I'll do anythign for you for i know you'll do anything for me.. Thank you.. I can't explain how glad I am to have you. You made me feel like the one.. I love you Dae.. Forever." 

 

Tiffany then planted her lips on Daesung who was too shock to say a word. However he soon responded to her kiss and once their lips connected, it felt as though their worlds connected too. They were one. Their lips were made for one another. Their bodies were made to fit each other. Their hands intertwined, their heart knot together. They felt completed, they felt euphoria. They didn't want to part..for if they do, it'll feel like breaking their bonds. Tiffany will be out of reach, she'll go to another world. Daesung will be out of reach, he'll be in another world. 

 

Both of them pleaded to god...

 

' God please let us live in this moment...Please do not separate us. Let us live in this perfect moment. ..It doesn't make any sense to part people who are deeply in love and people who are made for one another. You allowed fate to let us meet... So please, just this once, let us live together as one...

 

Or let us both go...

 

Together...'

 

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