It was snowing that day. I remembered it clearly. I opened my eyes and I can see snow coming down from outside the hospital windows. I move a bit.

It hurt.

 I raised my hand and touch the left side of my chest. It hurt but I can bear with it.

I looked around, it just me in the room with machine and this taller thing with a bag of some sort of water dipping into a small tube goes straight to my hand. The beeping sound that coming from the machine annoys me.

“what`s this?” I took the small tube off because I feel uncomfortable with it. I slowly climb down my bed and with less energy, walk to the door. I can hear my parent`s voice talking with someone. I leaned to the door, my ear touches the wood, giving some chill to my ear but it doesn’t stop me from trying to hear the detail about their conversation.

“No, not Ziey. Not my little girl.” Mum`s voice reach me, it was slow but enough for me to hear it.

“I am really sorry. But according to the test`s result, it seems that she`s having Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE).It’s an autoimmune disease which bring the production of unusual antibodies in the blood…”

That time, I do not understand a single word the doctor said, but I promised to myself, no matter what happen I have to be strong. Not for myself, but for my parent. That was the first time I heard mum crying and will be the last. And I don’t want to hear it again.

That was 10 years ago. Now, I`m 17 years old, and I`m ready for anything! Well, not anything. I`m in my high school, in a good class, maintaining good result, and most importantly, I am together with my 3 best friends, Ami, Hikaru and Kouta.  I knew Ami since kindergarten but hell no, she don’t know about my sickness. While Hikaru and Kouta, I meet them in my middle high school. They were in the same class as Ami and I. We have been best friends since then.

No one knows about my condition. I put a good act whenever I feel the pain strikes. I try not to overdo during our PE class, since the beginning. The SLE caused problem to my heart. Every day I need to take medicines to control my antibodies. Sometimes, I hate this sickness or this stupid virus that attacking my body. It feels like my own body is betraying itself.

 My parent? They never stop me doing what I want, as long I can take care of my health. I`m glad they are not over strict.

“Ziey, good morning!” Ami greets me. I arrived a bit early today. Spending time at hospital last night , I can’t really sleep. So I made a decision to leave early. “You were pretty early today.” She sat next to my sit. She seems rejoice today.

“Mum and dad having a sudden meeting, so they send me early.” I lied.

Gomen Ami.

Around 10 minutes after that, Hikaru arrived. I looked at Ami, her eyes sparkling whenever Hikaru with us. From her reaction, I know she was deeply in love with Hikaru.

“Morning, my princesses.”He greets me first then Ami. I smiled.

“Morning”

He likes me. Since middle school, he gives me such an attention. Always do some unnecessary things, fooling around. He never told but I can read his feeling, but I love my friendship and I don’t want to hurt Ami. Besides, I don’t want Hikaru to be confused with his feeling toward me and also Ami. I will just go with the flow or maybe…because my heart is already taken.

Another footstep entered our class. There he is, Yabu Kouta. I fell for him since the first time I laid my eyes on him. There are several accidents that happened before; I swear it “kills” me lots of times.

If you know what I mean.

“Kou-chan! Morning!” both Kouta`s and Hikaru`s fist hit each other. It is their signature, they said. Kouta raised his hand, “Morning. Our two beautiful princesses are early today.” He teased us.

“Well, we were always early than you, Kou.” I replied.

“Yeah. Ziey`s right.” Ami backed up me.

Way to go girl!

“Yeah,yeah. Oh, Ziey.” He`s calling my name. I am pretty much sure what he need so I just ignore him. He is calling me again when I did not answering him.

I looked up. His face appeared in my vision, less than a second.

“….” I can’t almost talk. His face is unreadable but close enough to me. His lips almost touched my cheeks. I can feel his breath, so warm. I narrowed my eyes.

“Can I borrow your math book?” he blows into my ear, causing me a goose bump.

I nodded, look down and give him what he need. I need to avoid having a close eye-contact with him. My heart beat fast.

“Oi, Kou-chan!” Hikaru quickly pulled him away. I guess he`s a bit pissed from his act after that.  Ami pulled a long face.  I know that she knows, about Hikaru`s feeling. She always smiles; do not want to hurt my feeling. I hope I could keep this friendship before something happen.

2^nd summer, we went to the beach. Ami is wearing her best bikini ever. I can see that Hikaru is a bit shock when he sees Ami in that outfit.  He flattered her by staring and complimented her. She doesn’t like to show her skin often. But when she do- BAAAAM, as guys fall for her.  As for me I just wear my sleeveless shirt and long white skirt, sitting next to Kouta who busy reading something. I am not joining them swimming or running under the sun.

Ami and Hikaru are already running on the beach. I take out my sun block lotion. Kouta closed his book.

“Want me to help you?” he asked. I looked at him. There is a naughty smirk coming from his face. I know what he is thinking about.

“I only apply it here.” I pointed him the back of my hand. I showed my tongue toward him and there he goes with his laughing.

“Oh, okay. You lost your once in a life time chances.” He laughed, again. That adorable laughing….

I could never be able to wear something like Ami, showing my chest. There is a scar on it that I get when I had my surgery before doctor sense something wrong with my heart ,few years after I`ve been diagnosed having SLE.  I try not to let anyone see it. It`s all because of that stupid SLE.

“Why don’t you join them? I think it is more fun than sitting here.” He already put down his book. He looked at me.

“Why don’t you?”

“Ha?”

“You never join us. Not here, not at school or even when we`re hanging out around town. You always sit and watching us from afar. Could it be that…” he gazed into my eyes.

DubDab.

Yabai! Did he know about my condition??

DubDab.

“You hate the sun?”

Unexpectedly, I laughed. I nodded. Maybe right now, lying is the best thing to do. That night, we`re enjoying ourselves by going to night festival and watching the fireworks. It was the best night ever, for the four of us.

Before the summer ends, Hikaru said he want to meet me. I can guess what he want to talk about.

“I like you.” He said. There a flower in his hand, and a small bag of chocolate.

I inhaled and close my eyes. I need to be honest with him.

“I know.” I said.

He`s smiling. “So?”

“I am sorry.”

He turned his head. “Why?” there was a slight disappointment in his voice. “You like someone else?”

I looked away. “Maybe…and other reason.”

“Kouta?” he sounds angry.

“Hikaru…please.”

“He knows?”

 I shook my head.

“I prefer to keep it. Besides, I think he didn’t like me.”

“Don’t be stupid. Tell him your real feeling or I will never stop.”There`s a determination in his voice.

“I can’t accept you because of Kouta and also because I don’t want to hurt Ami…”

And because I might die first and let those who love me suffer.

Silent`s strikes between us.

He seems confused but from his face I think he understand it. He smiled at me and left.

When school session starts, everything changes. We hardly meet the boys or see Hikaru hang out with Kouta. I guess something did happen between them.

“They had a fight.” Ami said, suddenly during recess.

“Ha? When and why?”

“Last week. There is something Hikaru ask but Kouta didn’t answer him.” Ami told me everything. How Hikaru start hitting Kouta and right after that, they didn’t talk to each other. I feel hell guilty. I`m worried about them…and about me. I know something not right with me.

In Math class, Kouta stay in his sit. It is so unusual for him to act that way. He used to come and ask me several questions. Things go differently with Ami and Hikaru. I guess Hikaru finally realize Ami`s feeling. They seemed trying to get to know each other better. A week later, Ami told me that Hikaru has confessed, and he told her about his confession to me. Gladly, Ami understand and she doesn’t mind about it however she doesn’t know about my feeling toward Kouta. Maybe I don’t want to ask more or guess. Everyone is fine with this, for now. Kouta keep skipping school. I am starting to miss Kouta.

A month later, I couldn’t be more patient. My condition getting worse but I still manage to act well in front Hikaru and Ami. I don’t want to freak them out. Last night, I coughed blood. My parent wanted me to stay at the hospital; I still have not any give thought about it.

We receive news. Kouta will move to America. The whole world seems collapse in front of me. Right now, I need to talk to Kouta. Yes, finally, I meet him. I found him at the Ueno Park.

“Why didn’t you tell us?”I go.

He looked away. I`m so pissed off with him.

“Say something!” I rose up my voice.

He sighed. “I don’t think it was important.”

I feel like telling him my feeling, but I can’t. I know my limit. “You`ve changed. I miss the old you. The one who love to fooling around, care about me, about his friends. I like the old Kouta.” My voice was trembling. Tears could stream down anytime now.

He still didn’t say anything. It`s like he pissed with something or someone.

“Did we do something wrong? If it about your fight with Hikaru, he has already apologized, right? Why can’t we be like before??? ”

“Things won’t be the same!” he shouts. I look at his eyes, seek for an answer. I let him cool down.

“Hikaru told me, he confessed to you. I`m pissed off” he start to explain.

“Why?”

“Because I had feeling for you, idiot! I had like you since the beginning. You have all the traits I don’t have. You were cheerful, courage, confident, high-spirited! Everything about you is interesting. I am so mad at myself and jealous over Hikaru. Because I don’t have that courage and that time I thought you already accept his feeling.”

He likes me.

“I want to confess, but I can’t. Not right now. Not like this.” he looked at me. “That`s why, I have to leave.”

Silent me. “Why?”

He looks at me. “To become a better man. When I`m come back, I`ll do it. This, I promised you. Please-” he took my hand and brings it on his. “Please be patient and wait for me.”

*End of Saitou Ziey`s narration*

It has been almost two month since Kouta left. Everyone seemed normal, well except for Ziey. Amihana was very shocked and worried when Ziey`s looked so pale after the first class pass that morning. She place gently her hand to Ziey`s forehead.

“Are you alright? Your body temperature is quite hot.” There`s a worried at the end of her voice. “Let`s go to nurse room.”

Ziey shook her head, she seems so weak. She opened to reply but no sound comes out. Amihana waved her hand, signaling Hikaru to come closer. He is asking what has gotten wrong and quickly helped Amihana carrying Ziey. The moment Ziey gets up from her seat, there`s a little blood streaming down , which shocked both of her friends. She is starting to coughing and vomiting blood, lots of blood before fainted.

“I can’t believe she is keeping this from us! I know her since kindergarten, but I didn’t aware of this.” One by one beads of tear spilled from Amihana. Hikaru pull her to his arm, and hug her, tightly. Ziey`s parent told them everything. Now he knows why Ziey rejected him. She knows her limit. That`s why she never run with them.

That`s why she didn’t active while in PE class.

That`s why she didn’t confess to Kouta.

He felt angry toward Kouta. “That jerk!” he stomped his fist to wall. Amihana is inside, with Ziey.

“Is she going to be okay?” Ziey`s dad asked.

“We need to wait until she gained her conscious. But right now, she is in bad condition. SLE has affected mostly her important organs. Her heart did not function well, it can’t pump blood normally causing other organs can’t receive blood and oxygen. I`m afraid…” the doctor stops, maybe try to think a suitable word to say. “She doesn’t have much time left.”

Amihana hold Ziey`s hand and rub against it, gently.

“Hey, I miss you already. Please, wake up.” Tears spilled from her eyes. Her friend condition tore her heart. There`s wires everywhere, sticking on her body. She was breathing through the life support machine. It was sad scenery. Amihana could not stop her shoulder from shacking. She tries her best not to cry out loud.

Hikaru walks in. He stopped and watches his girlfriend from behind. He feels her sadness, yet he could not do anything.  He wishes he had power to heal Ziey right now.

“Let`s call Kouta.” Amihana turned and face Hikaru.

“But-”

“He is our only hope. Who knows when Ziey hear his voice, she`ll be healthy again? And open her eyes and-” she stammer. There`s a lot going on, in her mind.

Hikaru pulled Amihana into his chest and caress her hair. He kissed her forehead. No matter who came, he knows nothing can be done. Ziey`s illness is not as simple as feverish. Even deathly cancer look curable, but Ziey? Her own body attacked her. Her own white blood cells that suppose to protect her, is the one who betrayed it host body.

“If she awakes, she will suffer more. The pain she`ll felt- I can’t barely imagined it.”  

Her cries become worst as she rested her head onto his chest.

Two days later, Amihana and Hikaru standing outside Ziey`s room. Hikaru leaned his back to the wall, pressing his hand against his face; while Amihana were crying her heart content on blench.  Ziey`s parent were inside their daughter`s room, wanting to spend their time with their only child.

-One year later-

Yabu couldn’t hide his happiness while holding a bouquet of roses.  Finally, he finished his studies and back to Japan.

“I finally can fulfill my promised toward Ziey. I will confess my feeling, properly today. Gosh, I feel so nervous.” He drove his car to meet up with Hikaru and Amihana at the café they used to hang out during school day before. His eyes catch both of them sitting at the table next to the little garden at the café, he curved a smile.

Hikaru caress Amihana`s hand, gently. He sometime touches the white gold ring on her ring finger. He look straight into his fiancé`s eyes. Both of them tied the engagement 5 month ago.

“I wonder how Kouta look like now.” Amihana asked. Hikaru move his shoulder. He and Kouta only contacted each other once in a while.

“Well, I think I look better- and handsome.” A voice startled them from behind. Amihana stood up and she was stood still for a while.

“OMG!! KOUTA!!!” she jumps off him and hug him. “I MISSED YOU!!”

Hikaru coughed. “Ehem…” he said. Amihana grins and let go of her hug. Kouta look awkward but he chuckled. Hikaru steps forward and held out his fist.

Kouta was startled for a while, then he`s smiling and their fist meet each other.  Amihana almost shed tears. Both of them finally back together, just like the school day.

“So, you said you have some important thing to do here.” Hikaru asked. He takes a sip of his hot coffee. Yabu nodded.

“Well you see-” he paused. “There is something that I need to do. I promised to do.” He looked straight at his two precious friend.

Amihana narrowed her eyes as she knows what they might hear.

“Ziey…”

Hikaru look at his fiancé and hold her hand. Amihana couldn’t hide her tears anymore. One by one the bead of tears streams down her cheeks.

“Ami-chan, why are you crying?Did I say something bad?” Kouta asked, his face draw a confusion.

Hikaru shook his head. “There is something you need to know.” His tone sound serious.

---

Kouta walk through the vast of green grass as he climbed over the hill. The wind was blowing just nice, but it wasn’t good enough to stop his crying heart. He feel so weak and his heart crying because of the pain. He finally arrived to his destination. The bouquet of rose he held, moving because of the wind. He stopped in front of small tomb, the only one there. Around it, there`s a small white flowers, create a nice and peaceful scenery.

Here Lies Sweet Child that Never Fails To Brings Happiness, Saitou Ziey.

He kneel down and rub his hand against Ziey`s tomb. His lower lips trembling, he wanted to say something but he can’t utter his voice out.

“Ziey`s dead. She passed away a year ago.” Hikaru said. There is sadness on his face.

Kouta chuckled. “Damn Hikaru. Stop joking around” he pushes his shoulder.

“I am not.”

Amihana stepped and place her hand on his shoulder. “Hikaru didn’t lie. Ziey already left us, for eternity. She`s sick, Kouta. During her time with us, she was sick and in pain. She kept it from us because she doesn’t want to burden us. Because of her illness, she can’t do lots of things that`s including telling you her real feeling toward you. She had always loved you-” Amihana couldn’t continue.

He rested his head to her tomb. His shoulder is shaking and tears falling on the tomb. He cries. He cries and cries. He was too late. He missed the change to tell her properly about his feeling.

“I`m really sorry. I should have stay. I should-” cries taken over his voice. “But-I`ve promise.” He wipes his tears and brings out the bouquet of white roses.

“I love you, Ziey. I had always loved you, since the first time we meet. I always wanted to tell you, but I don’t have the courage-” he stopped for a while, giving himself a chance to cry again. “Even though you`ve gone now, I will never stop loving you. I`m sorry for confess too late, and I might be selfish again, but please, wait for me there. I won’t take this as a goodbye for eternity. ” He placed down the white roses there and stands up staring at the sky. “I love you…can you hear me?” he whispered.

“See you soon.” He said as he walks leaving the place.

Behind him the rose petals suddenly curling up as the wind blows. Ziey watched as the love of her life leaving her eternity rest place.

“Thank you for keeping your promise. I will be waiting until the day we meet again comes. See you soon, Kouta.” As tears pouring her cheeks, she slowly vanished into thin air along with the white rose petals.

 

p/s: yehay, done with my one-shot~ XD

Please do comment, as the comment really going to help me a lot in creating new ff.

anyway, enjoy your reading folks and gimme love?