So I kinda listened to this while writing, totally recomended while reading

https://open.spotify.com/track/0jhMNE7VBQCeknmhzfgDyH

It's Urban Zakapa's If You Still Love Me from their latest Mini Album "Still"

“I don’t think this is working any longer”

That sentence like thunder, blinding as lightning, and heart aching. He knows this is coming, he was prepared but his face couldn’t betray his heart for some few seconds.

“I know” He tried to take his mind together and put a straight face. “I’m sorry”

She just looked up at his face and says nothing. Inside, she is totally ready to slap that face of him. Slapping that face five, no six times, three on the left and three on the right. What could she do to finally get him to reality? Will six slaps do?

“I’m sorry” He told her again, finally taking his deep breath and looking at her in the face.

“So, how do you want us to be?” She gritted her teeth softly while trying to sound as calm as possible. He took his breathes again, trying if it did any good to his aching heart inside.

“I don’t know, what do you want me to do?”

“We wouldn’t be here If you did what I asked, so long ago. So what’s the point of asking now?” She tried to sound as cold as possible. Again, she looked at his face, trying to prevent herself from crying out and hit him so many times.

“I tried, but I couldn’t”

She couldn’t believe, off all words he could say, he’d still say the one defending him. She lets a scoff out while rolling her head in disbelief.

“I really tried, I thought with everything. It’ll still be better for us to be together than nothing at all. But I guess it’s not.”

He didn’t know if it was pride, but he tried to sound as unaffected as possible. Deep inside, he wanted to go over the other side of the table and hug her tight. He wanted to kneel to her and asked her for another understanding. But he knew, it won’t go anywhere. It happened last time, he couldn’t get the idea of her not included in his life. But he made the mistake again, he didn’t appreciate her enough.

She took a deep breath and smiled softly. As he said nothing, she knew he stopped trying. He stopped trying to fight for them, he gave up on trying to keep them together.

“I guess there’s no other choice” She took her last sip if coffee and put her things inside her purse.

“I am sorry.” He couldn’t take it and bowed his head down. “Thank you, for everything” He said softly.

“It’s okay, I guess it’s just not the right time. You were busy and everything” she said and got up. “Well, that’s it. I gotta go” She smiled, he looked at her face after getting himself together. He replied to her smile the best he could do. For a few seconds he was tempted to get up and hug her, to let himself cry in her arms, to show her what a wreck he is without her. But then he realized, she would give in and try to understand him again. And he would do nothing to change and hurt her more.

“Good bye , Oppa” She smiled and bowed. He couldn’t believe he would finally hear that word from her. The only time he thought he’d heard the word was when they are no longer be able to meet each other. Not really when they decided not to meet each other any longer. He nodded and gave his soft smile. As she gave her first step further than him, the thought came back. For him to ran over there and hugged her, to stop her from leaving. He fought with his heart.

“C-chorong-ah” He was so surprised at himself. His heart won, he called her name.

“Uhm?” She stopped, and looked at him.

“I.. I’m sorry, and I love you” He gulped, those words came out of nowhere. He didn’t know how he ended up saying those things. He cursed himself, why couldn’t he get himself together.

Upon hearing that, there are too many things going on in her head. She wanted to slap him again, ten times. To get him to his sense, to get him to realize he didn’t make this any easier for her. For a split second, seeing his face right now, she wanted to come over to his side and hugged him. She wanted to say that it’s okay, he doesn’t need to feel bad. But she is not okay, she needed his reassurance. She needed him to realize he couldn’t keep ignoring her calls, her messages, everything. She needed him to realize that she has the right to know whether he is alive or not. Now, she wanted to slap him again, but she also wanted to hug him and cried in his arm.

She got herself together and smiled at him. And walked away. No, tears, not now.  She stopped a cab. She couldn’t forget his face, his word, his voice. She thought she could hear his voice on her head right now. She missed him. She already missed him.

“I love you too. Take care, Sunggyu Oppa”

He looked at his phone, and smiled. He wrote his message so many times, and erased it so many times too. He couldn’t think of what to say. This could be his last chance, should he say he’s sorry and ask her for another chance? She loved him too, she said she loved him. He should ask her where she is and ran over there to hug her tight, and to beg her to stay. Then, you will hurt her again? His mind shouted inside.

“Thank you so much for everything. Take care, Chorong”

He sent it, and looked at his phone for so long. It has been minutes, she didn’t reply him again. And that was how he realized, she is gone. He looked as his phone again, waiting for messages to come, without him  realizing, there are so many tears going down his eyes.