A/N:  n.n My first fanfic, I'm excited. n.n I like comments so do drop some if you want. :D It is a little long and idk if i'm gonna bring in Tabi in just yet o.o depending on how the story goes. :) I do write in my own weird way ... well to me it's weird. *is slightly embaressed* o//o but I do hope you enjoy :D n.n Italics are the thoughts of what is going on at the time with the character's. When it comes to long conversation's I'll mostly be dialouge and action mark stuff. Same with the italics. o.o

~~ Roesia

"Thank you for calling The Lot, This is Sami. How can I help you today?" I answered. It was another day at work. Nothing different. Being a cashier isn't as easy as it sounds; at least not where I work at. Day in and day out its the same thing. Price check here, manager overide there, refund policy explanation over 100 times a day and making announcements every hour or two. Every now and then I'll get the best customer's in the world.

I still remember that one kid... mentally challenged and all and yet he didn't have to be told to not rush me... he actually waited for me to finish scanning three items at a time and pack them to give me another three... I still like that kid. He always said thank you and hello

But today... the customer's wanted the Ritz service with the dollar store prices. "WHY DID YOU SELL ME A USED TV!!!" was the first thing I heard over the phone ... then some ranting ... and more ranting ... and more ranting... not even 3 minutes into it and I was already getting pissed off beyond belief. Here's the thing. I don't mind the complaning, afterall, everyone does it. What I do mind is not being treated like a human who doesn't have feelings and being treated like a greedy atm. "Ma'am most of our electronics are refurbished straight from the manufacture. If the product is not completely damaged to the point of no repair it will be refurbished and sent to our company to sell at our..." "NO I CAME IN TO BUY A TV NOT ANY TV A BRAND NEW TV AND IT HAS A SCRATCH?!"

T.T ... Your calling because it has a scratch ... this better be a damn big scratch to be yellin' like this ... hoeface.

About 30 minutes later a couple comes in with an open box with a TV inside. From a mile away I can see that my temper is not gonna last long. "OMG Hey! I called about a refund for my tv. You look so young. Ugh, its so hot out there can you believe that. I love your hair, I could never get my hair like that."

O.O Is this really the same woman who was on the phone!!!! T_T You little ed face bipolar of a cow. T_T I swear someone is gonna piss me off to the point of just dropping everything and leaving ... I can feel it. -.-

I had called the manager down as the woman kept going on and on trying to kiss .

She only wanted a refund, no exchange. Luckly I had enough in my register to give her the refund. In the end my manager handled the whole refund process. I still had to stay to be witness of the refund, it's policy. After the refund it was time to close and just like any other night the manager counts the money and I clean up my area while the others take care of their assigned area's. It really didn't take long since I was listening to my own music. BigBang had just taken up some awards at the 2012 MAMA Awards so I was still obsessing over TOP's "demon eyes" and because of such happiness and memories that I had seen It didn't take me long to finish up.

After leaving the store, I had gone to the starbucks nearby to get a chocolate frapuccino. Chocolate is always a good reward ... especially when it comes with iced coffee.

I was tired so I sat at the corner table at the back next to the windows. It was a small area but it was nice. Not too loud, not to messy, not too crowded. It was ... perfect. The moment was simply perfect. So in the end I had finished only half of my drink before heading off to BestBuy to get a DVD.

With drink in hand I smiled to the greeter who always saw me at least once or twice a month. "Long day at work?" He asked. "Yeah, had a crazy lady come in but it's all good."

He's nice... I wonder what kind of stuff he goes through here...

I went to the DVD section to see if any movies I liked were in stock. I have this weird quirk of not wanting to be around asile's with so many people. I'm not sure why but if there is at least even one person within 5 feet from me in the same asile I tend to nearly runaway... more like walkaway but I do get those rare instances when I do feel comfortable enough to stay in the asile. Today there wasn't alot of people around; it was late afterall anyways. I had already noticed that there were two people behind the asile I was in so I didn't mind when they went into the one I was in. I was listening to a remix of a song I believe GD did with Taeyang that some DJ posted on youtube. I was feeling pumped with the song as I strolled along sipping my iced coffee and then I saw their face's.

*Heart start's racing* oh boy... Why ... DX they look like Rai's dude's from work. *Sighs and tries to act normal* Yeah their cute but do I have to feel this damn paranoid about this now ... damn you Rai .. damn you.

It didn't take long for them to go away which they did but then I got a text. I ignored it for now since I had picked out a movie. TriadWars. I loved action flicks ... even more with martial arts or if its related to asian culture. My phone had started to vibrate non-stop after paying for my movie. "Damn it what now..." I sighed and walked out with my phone in hand. "..." I only stared at Rai's name. Sliding the screen I took a deep breath before answering. "Hey, whats up. Long time no talk." I half giggled. "Was bored. How's you?"

The conversation was akward for the most part but not soon after I had ended up sitting on a bench near the store and talked for about twenty minutes as I watched the people walk by. I knew I shouldn't have answered him. "So how's life treating you?" He didn't respond. "I'll take that as a bad thing. What's up." He was feeling depressed again. I knew his job wasn't exactly legal and definitly dangerous so of course he was depressed with his dead parent's and being 2nd oldest of a family of 8. His older brother was only a year older. "Rai ... remember what I told you last time... You need to take some time for yourself and I don't mean just ually... I don't know ... go out with that chick they arranged for you."  

"she and complains that she isn't good enough for me and that i'm better then her all the time." I facepalmed at that. "Rai .... You know my opinion... With your lifestyle I'm shocked I haven't called the police on you ... I'm shocked she hasn't called them too that and broken down yet." This was always our conversation day in and out. I had already stopped him from killing himself twice. I hope this wasn't going to be a third time. The only thing that had stopped him from trying again was from me telling him about half of what I had gone through. "I know babe." He had said in the end.

Don't call me that ... I can't belive I'm still in love with you ... I hate that I love you ....bunny ... you were right.

"Listen I have to go ... my doctor's appointment is in about ten minutes and i'm right outside the clinic right now." I lied to him. When it came to him treating me like I was his girl; I would try anything to get off the phone or get away from him as fast as possible. I still wasn't able to let him go. He was the man of my dreams. He said he loved me too but his actions told a different stroy. "k, text me." "will do."

I had gotten up as fast as I hung up the phone. Walked to the car even faster than that. "Damn you Rai damn you." I had choked up. I couldn't handle how kind he was to me at the time. I had glasses on so I took them off to wipe them down while sneakily wiping my eyes. I had gone through this so many times and I still wondered why I was so stuck onto him.

While in the car I had let my phone blast out some of my favorite kpop songs I like to listen to at times like these. Tablo's-bad, Wheesung ft Ailee - They are coming, and Rain - Sad tango as well as Love song. By the time BigBang's - Bad Boy had begun I turned my phone off and drove off to my place to call my Uncle. I hadn't talked to him in a while.

"Hey, How you been?"

"I've been alright. Just livin' it up with my wife called work."

*laughs* "Sounds fun."

"You ok?"

"No."

"I'm coming over."

He knew me well despite not having met too long ago. We weren't blood related but was much older than me so he told me to call him uncle when we had gotten close.

The doorbell rang and I checked the peephole before opening the door. "It's open." I said loud enough for him to hear. He got inside, locking the door behind him. He still had his thick black rimmed glasses. Nowadays that's called being a hipster, we joked around at first about it. Still in his usual t-shirt and cargo shorts. He went straght to the kitchen to make us some kimchi. We caught up at first and I watched him make it for the first time. I started to prepare the drinks as soon as he said he was almost done. He placed my bowl infront of me as I poured him his drink. My food wasn't too spicy since I wasn't use to it yet but it was still enjoyable.

"So what happened?"

"Rai."

"That guy you're still hooked on?"

"Yeah..."

"Why are you still hooked?"

"I don't know.... I fell hard for him."

We had taken bites and sips in between our analyzing of why I was still hooked on him. In the end its a lost cause.

" I just still wonder why he did that to me."

"Well what is he? You never told me where his family is from."

"Japan. His family is very traditional ... well the older brother is as well as his aunts and uncles."

"Ahh..."

why does that even matter. o.e 

He paused to finish his food quickly before going on and asked if I was going to eat mine's. I said no and he went ahead to eat what I had left. I only giggled before he continued.

"In their eyes, his family is probably thinking 'since your in an arragned marriage go ahead and enjoy yourself before you get hooked permantly' Which is why they probably let him lie to you as well as his family lying to you too."

"I can see how that is possible but ... I don't find it ... logical." I had sat back and rubbed my face as if rubing away the frustration. "Idiots, the lot of them." I mumbled.

"Even if you were to have been with him before the arranged marriage it still would have happened. Its an arragned marriage after all. Your the least likely to get a guy like him with the way you are. Her insecurity to them is a golden oppurtunity. they get to hook him with some crazy chick who in their eyes is deemed the perfect match for the family in order to continue tradition. In their eyes what better choice than a petite Japanese girl whose family is also traditional. He's the best match they can get to get the family name back to honor. If he'd end up with you. The name is beyond tainted ... almost like a sin especially with the fact that he refused to an arranged marriage once before."

I sighed as I took in that information. Even though it was a probablity; It all made sense and no sense to be honest. Those dirty looks I kept getting from his brother. The name's they'd call me after figuring out what they meant no thanks to Rai. I didn't hate him as much anymore. In the end ... I wasn't just another girl ... I wasn't his girl either. I was a his girl at night. We almost always met at night. Only once did we meet during the day, and that was whe I had first bumped into him. I smiled at my Kyu with all the thoughts running through my head. "The only thing I can tell you is to do what you like for now. Focus on your school, your music ... and I'll check up on you ok. I gotta get back to work." I nodded and stood up after him. We hugged and he left.

With tears now running down my eyes I ended up punching the wall nearest to me in frustration. I wasn't crying... I was sobbing... I was suffering.

Damn you Rai ... Damn you... I loved you... You knew that. I told you so many times that I loved you... and you said you loved me back. I hate that I love you so much right now... Why ... Why did you do this to me. Why...

Forgetting to wash dishes Kyu had put away before leaving, I got up and headed to my room. My asthma was kicking in no thanks to Rai. My anxiety was off the wall. I was hyperventalating and panicking. I think about Kyu and wonder if I should have told him about my health but then again. I didn't want him to think of me as a poor little hearbroken diseased ridden girl. I blasted DBSK's - Why did I fall in love with you and left the lights off in my apartment. I had taken my inhalor and a pill for anxiety. I got into bed and wrapped my black blanket over me. That night ... I cried myself to sleep all over again.

No more chinese battle stories at night.... no more I love you's .... no more.

A/N: I keep trying to indent the paragraphs on here T_T It doesn't copy it automatically so i only got lazy in that department. T_T u.u n.n Hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think :D n.n