Jongdae was Baekhyun’s best friend when EXO-M wasn’t off promoting in China. It’s true that Baekhyun was close to Chanyeol. A bit too close if you asked him. But there was a difference between making stupid jokes with Chanyeol and sitting in comfortable silence with Jongdae.

 

With Jongdae, Baekhyun got unexplainable shivers. He felt incredibly warm in the pits of his stomach from just seeing Jongdae walk in the front door. When the boy smiled and laughed, Baekhyun wanted to cross oceans and maybe throw popcorn kernels into that charming mouth.

 

Okay, maybe he liked him a tiny bit.

 

Actually. Scratch that. Baekhyun liked him a lot.

 

 

Which explains why Baekhyun was currently muffling his face into his Rilakkuma pillow and squealing over the perfection of Jongdae on the internet.

 

“Baek? Want to go get some street food with me?” Chanyeol pops his head of unruly hair in the doorway of their shared bedroom, wagging his locks like a hyperactive puppy.

 

Baekhyun immediately minimizes a flattering photo of Jongdae’s twinkling eyes. (he swears they winked at him when he sadly began biting the ear of his Rilakkuma pillow)

 

“What? Oh. Yeah. Um, next time. Maybe.” Baekhyun says behind a faceful of Rilakkuma goodness. He couldn’t face Chanyeol now. Maybe later. No wait. Never. Even though they were good friends, he couldn’t risk blackmail power to the giant now pouting with a dejected face.

 

“Aww. You’re going to miss a lot! I managed to get Joonmyun-hyung to come along and even Soo!” Chanyeol paws pitifully at the door and turns his big eyes to stare dolefully at Baekhyun.

 

Baekhyun flinches a bit at the look. The last thing he needed today was guilt.

 

But he couldn’t part with his fanboying. Baekhyun decides to compromise.

 

“I’ll do whatever you want next time you ask something of me. But it better not be something ridiculous.” Baekhyun glances up at the ceiling to avoid Chanyeol’s incredulous stare. Afterall, it wasn’t something Baekhyun would likely give. But as a roommate and ‘best’ friend, he felt obliged to give at least this much to Chanyeol.

 

 

“If you say so,” Chanyeol drawls but Baekhyun lowers his gaze fast enough to detect a shadow of mischief flash over the grinning boy’s face.

 

“I’ll be off now! You better not take back that wish. I already have something in mind for you.” Chanyeol laughs at the horrific expression on Baekhyun’s face before high-tailing his tall self out the room.

 

Baekhyun groans into his pillow when the front door slams shut and wonders what he got himself into.

 

 

 

~**~

 

 

“I’m cold!” Baekhyun whines from his corner on the couch. EXO-M came back last night and were still dozing off to their hearts’ content under heavy, warm blankets. Baekhyun decided to wake up early to help Kyungsoo make a big breakfast surprise for EXO-M but two minutes into cooking already had Baekhyun messing up possibly the easiest parts of making scrambled eggs. Kyungsoo decided sending his hyung to warm up the couch with his was a more productive task for the likes of Baekhyun.

 

Except it didn’t quite work since Baekhyun was cold. He wonders if he’ll make the couch even colder than it already is.

 

“Kyungie! This isn’t productive!” Baekhyun says, wiggling the bare toes peeking out from under the frayed ends of his flannel pj’s in protest.

 

“You’re going to wake everybody up with your puppy noises.” Kyungsoo deadpans, turning back to the pancake mix.

 

Baekhyun blows a raspberry when he thinks Kyungsoo isn’t looking.

 

“Morning. I’m already awake.” Baekhyun snaps his head at the voice and almost topples from his precarious position on the edge of the couch.

 

“Baekhyun, why are you on the floor?” Jongdae has an amused smile on his lips and Baekhyun has no answer except to reiterate his earlier whining.

 

“I’m c-cold!” Baekhyun looks down sadly at his toes.

 

 

He hears Jongdae laugh and stops himself from making his stupidly blissful face. Which is kinda hard since he finds himself constantly having to restrain himself around Jongdae.

 

“Do you want a morning hug?” Jongdae asks, cocking his head to the side cutely.

 

Baekhyun feels the air in his passageway suddenly stop and it’s like the world is on pause with Jongdae staring at him like that.

 

“Uh..um..” Baekhyun stumbles ever so intelligently over his words. Jongdae laughs again and takes the incomprehensible jumble as consent before padding his way to Baekhyun on the floor and pulling the boy up.

 

Baekhyun immediately latches onto Jongdae’s middle, shifting his position on Jongdae’s lap so that he can rest his head comfortably on the yawning boy’s collarbone. Those nice collarbones.

 

“Are you sleepy?” Baekhyun mumbles, too comfortable to move his head. He grabs Jongdae’s hand and begins playing with the pretty fingers, clasping and intertwining his with Jongdae’s in a dance.

 

“A bit but this is much better than hearing Duizhang’s snores back in the room,” Jongdae says into Baekhyun’s hair.

 

Baekhyun can’t stop the stupid grin from making its way onto his face. He doesn’t even bother trying since he has Jongdae’s chest to block it.

 

“Can we lie down? I think I’m going to fall asleep again.”

 

Baekhyun begrudgingly moves off Jongdae’s lap and lets him lie down onto the couch, arms inviting Baekhyun to snuggle in.

 

He can’t help but fall for Jongdae even more and without hesitation, he falls back onto the couch and curls up against the other boy’s body.

 

Baekhyun doesn’t know when he falls back asleep but he does remember Jongdae intertwining their legs together and covering his cold toes with his sock feet.

 

 

“Breakfast is ready- oh.” Kyungsoo walks into the living room and sees Jongdae and Baekhyun in a sickening cute embrace.

 

“Fine. Be that way,” He sniffs before leaving the two to their little dreamlands.

 

 

~**~

 

 

Today was a good day. It was definitely going to be good. He can feel it in the soles of his feet.

 

“You like Jongdae, don’t you?”

 

Today’s not going to be a good day.

 

Baekhyun takes in a deep breath and turns around. Kris was looking at him with the faint upturn of his lips. He looks constipated, to be honest, like one of his drawings. But Baekhyun was the better man here so he gave the Chinese giant his deadliest glare.

 

“Say that again and I will not regret hiding all your beauty products.” It was a threat and a good one because Kris’ constipated smile instantly turns into a frown.

 

“You’ve been learning from Luhan.” He says seriously. And Baekhyun can’t help but burst out into unrestrained laughter. He doesn’t stop until Minseok-hyung rushes into the room and has to force a glass of water down his throat, demanding to call his lover Jongdae over if he doesn’t stop laughing. Baekhyun doesn’t stop the giggles from bubbling up his throat so Minseok drags a dazed Jongdae into Baekhyun’s teary-eyed vision.

 

“He isn’t my lover!” Baekhyun chokes out after nearly drowning over water. He gives Jongdae a sad small before jabbing his finger into Kris’s tummy.

 

“And no. I did not learn from Luhan. My methods of evil overtake baby-faced deer over there and they are very unique, thank you very much.” Baekhyun sniffs, deeply offended.

 

He turns to Minseok, “And thank you for the water although I think your intervention has costed me twenty years of my life.” Minseok blinks back at him confusedly but Kris stares at him in disbelief.

 

“It’s Jongdae, isn’t it?” Kris whispers. Baekhyun feels something bubbling inside him and he sees Jongdae blush.

 

“TO HELL WITH ALL YOU INFIDELS.” Baekhyun hollers as he kicks both Kris and Minseok out of the room.

 

 

~**~

 

 

“If there is one person in this world you would climb a mountain for, who would it be hyung?” Kai pipes up from behind Baekhyun, effectively causing the brunette boy to drop the flamboyantly red underwear he was holding. There was a mirror right above the washing machine but Baekhyun was too busy looking down sorting clothes to notice Kai’s reflection.

 

“Uh, no one?” Baekhyun nervously answers back before picking up the atrocious piece of clothing and throwing it in the colored stack.

 

Kai hums and picks up a black sock decorated in yellow ducks. “Are you sure? Like sure sure?” He spins gracefully on his toes, sock still in hand, before dunking it in the laundry basket.

 

“I’m pretty sure.” Baekhyun mumbles, dumping all the clothes into the washer.

 

“That’s not right, hyung! I know you’re lying and I can’t have my role models be liars!” Kai protests, crossing his arms in front of chest and giving Baekhyun a judging look.

 

Baekhyun looks at him strangely before pouring some laundry detergent into the washing machine.

 

“Go play hangman with Sehun or something. Deal with your own maknae problems.” Baekhyun turns the dial to the proper time for washing.

 

“Oh, they aren’t my problems, Baek-hyung. I think you know they are yours.” Baekhyun looks up into the mirror and sees the beginnings of a grin on Kai’s face.

 

“What are you talking about?” Baekhyun stutters but he knows exactly what Kai’s talking about.

 

“Jongdae. You would climb a mountain for Jongdae.” Kai states simply before turning on his heel and walking out the door.

 

Baekhyun really feels like the world is out to get him today.

 

 

~**~

 

 

Baekhyun makes a soft pitiful sound as the last piece of cake disappears from the platter and he begins his spoon to recall the sugary taste of the chocolate icing.

 

Tao had frivolously bought a cake to celebrate life from the delicacy store right down the corner of the SM dorms. Obviously the managers were against it but with a few ‘buing-buings’ and selcas with the two managers, the ash-blonde haired boy managed to procure a chocolate cake for all of EXO to eat.

 

It was a big cake.

 

But even after two slices, it wasn’t enough. Baekhyun moaned softly behind his spoon as he glanced pitifully at the piece of half eaten cake on Joonmyun-hyung’s plate. God dammit. Finish it you fool.

 

He feels a nudge and Baekhyun is distracted out of wallowing in his self-pity, only to meet the eyes of a sympathetic Jongdae.

 

“Here, have mine. I’m already full.” Jongdae mumbles before heaping all the rest of his cake onto Baekhyun's empty (and clean) plate.

 

Baekhyun wants to protest but the sudden kiss on his cheek and the ‘I’m done so I’ll be going off to sleep first you guys’ from Jongdae as the boy pushes in his chair and goes into his room renders him speechless and immobile.

 

He can still feel the pair of soft lips on his cheek as his fingers ghost over the surface and he has half a mind to not wash the right side of his face tonight just because. Baekhyun thinks no one notices that he’s blushing and flustered. And that he’s mumbling to himself incoherently. But sadly, somebody has to witness the mess he finds himself swimming in.

 

“You better eat that or else I’ll be disappointed in you,” Minseok points out. Baekhyun’s still in a daze but his head snaps up at the presence of someone other than Jongdae by his side.

 

“I will. But why?” Baekhyun fights down his blush to give Minseok a noncommittal stare.

 

“Because he hasn’t eaten much this whole day and that was still his first slice of cake.” Minseok looks worried as his eyes sweep over to the door Jongdae had just closed.

 

Baekhyun feels sick in his stomach and he knows it’s not from the cake.

 

“Don’t worry. I’ll see what’s wrong with him.” Baekhyun smiles weakly and tries his best to eat the cake with gusto but it’s really hard to when the person he loves is probably hungry and sleeping on an empty stomach.

 

~**~

 

 

“Jongdae,” Baekhyun whispers. Everyone else had went to sleep after finishing the cake and Baekhyun stayed behind to sneak out and buy something for Jongdae to eat. He knew the younger boy liked peaches so he bought a couple of those and Pocky sticks (the latter was just wishful thinking, Baekhyun admits).

 

“Jooongdaae” Baekhyun whispers, looking behind him at Minseok’s bed and sighing in relief when he sees that his hyung was still sleeping like a baby.

 

Jongdae groans before blinking his eyes open. “Baekhyun?” Baekhyun watches in amusement as Jongdae takes in a sharp breath and begins staring with Baekhyun with big, amazed eyes.

 

“What are you doing here? Why aren’t you asleep?” He whispers.

 

“I bought you something!” Baekhyun silently cheers while ignoring Jongdae’s questions. He drags Jongdae out of bed, ignoring how the bed hair makes Jongdae look adorable and how the duck pajamas just calls out for Baekhyun to drag Jongdae back into bed to cuddle.

 

“What did you buy?” Jongdae says once they step out into the living room.

 

“Oh you know. A little of this and that.” Baekhyun shrugs. “Sit here.” He points to a chair by the dining room table and he takes a peach out of a bag and begins washing it.

 

“Peaches?” Jongdae smiles amusedly, twinkle in his eyes. Baekhyun mutters, “ What did you expect?”

 

“Maybe a goodnight kiss?” Baekhyun freezes and feels a blush climbing up his neck and ears. Jongdae laughs, “Alright alright. Forget I said that. Did you buy Pocky too?” Jongdae was standing next to Baekhyun now and poking his meddling fingers into the plastic bag.

 

“Chocolate Pocky. Yum.” Jongdae smiles so big that Baekhyun wants to cry.

 

“Here,” Baekhyun shoves the wet peach in Jongdae’s hands. “I know you’re hungry so don’t even deny it or offer it to me. Or else I’ll really do something bad to you.”

 

Jongdae laughs and pulls Baekhyun into a side hug.

 

“Oh really? What will you do?” He waggles his eyebrows in a suggestive manner and Baekhyun can’t help but hide his face in second-hand embarrassment at the Kai-likeliness in the act.

 

“I’ll force feed you all the food I cook!” Baekhyun announces as he grabs the bag of Pocky and drags Jongdae with him to the couch.

 

“How scary.” Jongdae comments as he takes a bite of the peach. Baekhyun turns and glares half-heartedly at him.

 

“Oh it’s really scary. Trust me.” Baekhyun’s confident voice dwindles now to a whisper and suddenly he feels very self-conscious.

 

“Want some Pocky?” Jongdae offers the box to Baekhyun with an encouraging smile. He’s holding the peach pit in his hands and Baekhyun gapes at how fast Jongdae had finished the peach.

 

“Sure.” He grabs the box and begins opening it.

 

“Let me guess. Pocky game?” Jongdae looks at Baekhyun with a gaze full of feeling that Baekhyun suddenly finds himself lost in his eyes and he’s afraid, so afraid of what would happen if he says yes. So Baekhyun takes in a shuddering breath and says

 

No.

 

He can’t ignore the crestfallen look on Jongdae’s face nor the subtle shift in their positions on the couch. And Baekhyun feels cold. So very cold. And he can’t look Jongdae in the eye because he feels like he’ll break into pieces or melt into goo.

 

Time feels slow but Jongdae’s already on his feet and walking back to the bedroom. Baekhyun doesn’t look up in time to see Jongdae’s sad face and he doesn’t hear the small ‘thank you hyung’ that passes his lips.

 

All he knows is that he screwed up big time.

 

 

~**~

 

 

The following week was Baekhyun’s definition of plain, cold misery.

 

Baekhyun looks out the window, past the frosted glass, and into the wet streets pattered with rain. It was their day off and most of the members were sleeping, taking advantage of rare breaks like today. Luhan woke early and noticed something was wrong with him and offered to make him a special type of Chinese tea. Sehun also decided to spend the day watching cartoons instead of sleeping his maknae off like Kai.

 

Only Yixing seemed to really know the problem because he was somehow psychic.

 

“You know you won’t get anywhere if you don’t talk to Jongdae,” Yixing has shifted over so that he was standing directly next to Baekhyun and he gives the brunette a melancholy glance before turning his attention to the streets below.

 

“It’s not that simple, Xing.” Baekhyun whispers back as he watches a couple sharing an umbrella under the rain.

 

“Feelings may be complicated but actions are simple.” Yixing draws a heart on the window pane and he smiles slightly at Baekhyun. Baekhyun smiles back but suddenly the loud slam of the door jolts him out of his sad reverie and he turns around to see Sehun and Luhan looking at him.

 

“It's Jongdae. He just slammed the door. Is he okay?” Luhan is walking towards Baekhyun now and giving him a sad, judging look. He knows something is wrong. And he knows Baekhyun is the reason.

Even Sehun is disturbed and the maknae gets up from the couch and drags the stilled Baekhyun to right in front of Jongdae’s room.

 

“You. Talk to him now hyung. I miss you two being cuddly and adorably gay as .” Sehun mutters before leaving Baekhyun to battle his fears all by himself. Baekhyun can’t even scold Sehun for his use of language when he sees Yixing give him an encouraging nod.

 

Baekhyun takes in a deep breath and he enters the room.

 

The first thing he notices is that it’s cold. Baekhyun sees a bundle hidden under the blankets and there’s no Minseok in sight. He quickly flings himself beside Jongdae’s bed.

 

“Jongdae, I-I’m sorry for being an and every despicable name you can ever think of in your life.” Baekhyun says, sob choking his throat and threatening to dam his apologies.

 

“There’s someone. He’s my perfection with his laughter and smiles. The way his eyes twinkle and the moments we share. He’s everything I want but I don’t know why I can’t act normal with him. It’s like I’m a screwed up human being.” Baekhyun bites his lips down hard but his face is already tear-stricken. He takes in a shuddering breath and opens his mouth to say more but Jongdae interrupts him.

 

“You’re not a screwed up human being,” Jongdae mumbles, eyes downcast, but red swollen eyes showing for Baekhyun to know that he had been crying too.

 

Baekhyun chokes out a laugh because Jongdae’s being too nice with him and he deserves someone better than Baekhyun.

 

“No. Don’t say that. I know I’m screwed up.” Baekhyun bites his lips and tries to smile through his tears.

 

And suddenly Chanyeol barges in.

 

Jongdae pulls the covers back up over himself but it seems like Chanyeol doesn’t notice because he opens his big mouth and demands, “You’re still holding onto that wish right?”

 

Baekhyun gives him an incredulous look because boy does Chanyeol have bad timing. He nods his head slowly.

 

“Then…” Chanyeol leans down beside Baekhyun on the floor and whispers, “I dare you to tell Jongdae you like him and you must kiss him as many times as you want. On the lips.” He adds in cheekily. Chanyeol pulls back and grins at Baekhyun’s flustered face.

 

“That’s two things! I implied only one!” Baekhyun flushes in embarrassment. Chanyeol ruffles Baekhyun’s hair.

 

“I guess you’re right. I don’t need to wish that if you’ve been dying to do that since day 1.” And Chanyeol really does high-tail out of the room because Baekhyun throws a sock in his direction.

 

“Is he gone?” Jongdae mumbles beneath his blanket once the door slams shut.

 

Baekhyun sighs.

 

“Yeah, he’s gone.” Jongdae hesitantly pulls the blanket back down again.

 

“Look-“

“I-“

 

“You go first,” Baekhyun nods, leaning forward to wipe Jongdae’s tears out of his eyes. He ignores how his heart clenches when Jongdae flinches at the touch.

 

Jongdae sits up and curls in a ball, “I’m sorry I acted like that just now. It was just a surprise. I didn’t know you liked Yixing and I’ll do my best to support you two in any way,” Jongdae’s voice cracks and the Baekhyun sees that Jongdae wants to cry but he’s doing his best not to.

 

What.

Baekhyun wants to tear his hair out and kiss Jongdae senseless at the same time.

 

Instead, he flops onto the floor facedown and groans.

 

“Jongdae…”

 

“Yes hyung?”

 

“I don’t like Yixing.”

 

“Oh I know you like- wait what.”

 

“I have no romantic urges towards our resident air-headed unicorn.”

 

“What. You don’t? Then why did Yixing draw that heart?”

 

Baekhyun really does bang his head against the floor. “NO! That wasn’t our declaration of love to each other, you idiot!”

 

“I’m not an idiot!”

 

“Last time I checked. The idiot I am in love with was in bed and balling his eyes out.”

 

“Wait. I didn’t quite catch that.”

 

Baekhyun growls at the playful tone. He removes his face from the floor and narrows his eyes at the grin on Jongdae’s pretty pink lips. He’s ready to pounce and knock the boy off the bed and into a brawl on the floor when…

 

Hiccup.

 

Baekhyun bursts out into laughter.

 

Hiccup.

“OH MY GOD. YOU ARE SO ADORABLE!” Baekhyun begins rolling on the ground and he fails to notice the blush creeping up Jongdae’s face.

 

-Unf!

 

“My face!”

 

Baekhyun finally calms down as he hugs Jongdae’s pillow to his chest.

 

“You know. I really do love you. I’m just too stupid to say it.” Baekhyun feels himself blushing and he looks shyly up at Jongdae.

 

“I love you too,” Jongdae grins but he hiccups again. Baekhyun doesn’t need to be told twice. He gets up from the floor and muffles Jongdae’s face with his pillow.

 

“Ah love. How I love you so.” Baekhyun croons as he invites himself onto Jongdae’s bed, removing the pillow from Jongdae’s face.

 

“Your feet are too cold!” Jongdae complains, scrunching his nose. But Baekhyun can’t take him seriously because Jongdae hiccups again and Baekhyun squeals.

 

He doesn’t think when he leans in and captures Jongdae’s lips into a kiss.

 

One kiss turns into two and Baekhyun eventually loses count.

 

“Hyung! Let me breathe!”

Baekhyun grins before taking Jongdae's mouth into his for another breath-taking kiss.

 

 

---

um. exactly what did I write?