I walked through the door, my insides squirming. The smiles on my face just can’t help but show. It’s as if my cheeks will burst out in joy anytime. I can’t contain it. It’s something I’ve never felt before. All the excitement, anticipation, it was like I’m getting killed slowly but sweetly.

I gently placed my hand on the door as I try to feel the magic behind it. I’m one step away from the reality of what had always seemed like a faraway dream. Gently as I can, silently as I could, I pushed the wooden portal open and let the light of the room blind me.

And then he was there, standing in all his glory. Those glimmering eyes which first caught me, and those fairly thick lips I couldn’t stop thinking about. His complexion stands out among everyone else in the room. He is my definition of perfection. He is my sole salvation.

I took one careful step and the voices of the people drown into murmurs, and then it all fade into silence. One by one, things around me blurred and all I hear were footsteps, and my continuously thumping heart.

It was dangerous. My desire overpowers me, luring me into an unfathomable fantasy. But I kept on going, chasing the rainbows, trying to ride the clouds into this discreet miracle. I was the first one to see him for what he really is. I was the first one to conceive into his precision. I was the first one to love him like this.

The distance is getting closer, I’m evading the rules. My mind just won’t work properly, but I know I’m doing the right thing. My heart tells me so.

"Hi Kai,” I said as I held in my breath. “I hear you’re participating in our teaser photos.”

He turned around to look at me with his blinding smile. “Oh Luna,” I hear him speak my name and felt like the choir of angels had begun their harmony. “Yeah, last minute company decision.”

I smiled as I stared through his hypnotizing eyes. Drastic decisions, we’ve long tried to deal with; but obviously, there’s something that had gone right at that very moment. Perfect, actually.

For a few seconds, our gazes locked. In those few seconds, I was graced by expectations and positive illusions. It’s our time to shine, together hopefully. It’s my time to feel, something I’ve long been yearning for.

But even before I close my eyes to blink, a voice resounded through my reverie – making everything crash inconceivably before me.

“Kai, you’re going to be paired up with Krystal. The concept is love against the world.”

I saw him smile, a grateful one. And then I just felt my feet moving – away – from the most vicious among all realities. It has always been her. It has always been not me. Why. Why?

My eyes burned as I broke into a hurry - tears threatening to trickle from the eyes which were like stars twinkling a while ago. I tried to feel my heart which has been voided by emotions. The state of panic I’m in for being so unwise began to nag me like never before. How can this happen?  I deluded myself into thinking that that moment shall last forever. But dreams are just dreams, and the waking days are different.

I’m in reality and as much as I hate to admit it… Truth hurts. So much.

"On the other hand, Luna revealed she likes 'A guy who is bit tanned, y, with a bit thick lips, casual hair style, and not too muscular...'"

-An article about f(x)'s ideal styles