It's been 2 months since you left. Rain still pouring hard days and nights.

When you walked out of my life, you took away whole of me with you. Cause you're my everything, you are the only one for me. I know only you, no one else. After you left, I curled up on a ball and cried my heart out for a long time as if I cast away the whole world. Pathetic, I know. I just can't help but felt hurt for what had happened. After I lost you, each day is the same. Each  day I cry and laugh again and spend the day as if I'm crazy. I ripped all of your picture as if I wouldn't look for you again. Then as I cried, I pasted together your scattered image and call out your name. It's hard to go through a day because of the pain that's wringing my heart. I drink more than I eat, filled my stomach with alcohol to cover the pain. I can't just ignore that lump in my throat or this pang in my chest and pretend that nothing happened, pretended to be okay. Cause no, I'm not okay.

On rainy days, I would walk around aimlessly while thinking of you. Like a lost child that doesn't know where to go, I just cry, because you're not under my umbrella. The sound of the raindrops falling, The cold blowing wind that caressed my skin, even the dark clouds danced in the skies, everything painfully reminded me of you.

On rainy nights, I would go to the club, get drunk, and get back home before the dawn just to cried myself to sleep. But on these rainy nights I can't fall asleep, as every time I closed my eyes all I see was you. In every dream I had, I saw you standing there, extending your hands to me. But every time I tried to reach for your hands, you got further and further away. I ended up lay in my bed, staring blankly at the ceiling while thinking about you again.

Where are you now, Daehyunnie? Are you doing okay without me? Are you still the Daehyunnie I knew? I'm really curious, cause apparently I'm not.

I was nothing without you. I can do nothing well without you.

I tear up while eating by myself. Tears come because I ate so deliciously by myself. We used to always eat together. I can