As the morning came, Donghae’s eyes crept  openas noticed how peaceful Kyuhyun’s slumber was. He knows it had been tiring for what they’ve done so he had left Kyu to continue his sleep; he was glad that Kyu was his boyfriend. He was happy in terms of being taken care of and being cared for all the time, in truth; Kyuhyun was the first person to decline in several times as he asked for it

He was happy that even though at first Kyu only strived to get laid with him he didn’t took advantage of Hae’s invitations. He was always prioritizing his happiness instead of his body’s needs; he was giving in every term. He felt so fortunate to meet him and to have loved again with someone like him

“You… are… so attractive like this” he cooed as he looked at Kyu’s sleeping face

“Stay with me, alright? Now that you’ve got what you wanted before… please… don’t leave me” he whispered and drifted back to sleep

Though Hae was happy, deep inside him still feared being left by Kyu. He was scared to think that the day would come and he will be alone once again, he didn’t want it to happen once more but; if Kyu were to ask for his freedom, he has no right to keep it from him

“I… love you” Hae spoke in his sleep

-=-~~~~~~~~-=||o0o||=-~~~~~~~~-=-

A few hours later

-=-~~~~~~~~-=||o0o||=-~~~~~~~~-=-

Kyuhyun then woke up; he felt the warm embrace of Hae’s arms. He smiled at seeing him look adorable, “You must be very tired” he fiddled his hair strand

He was content in feeling such bliss each time they were to sleep together, “Thanks for everything” he whispered and kissed him at the forehead

He slowly got off from the bed and took his clothes, he felt horrible on leaving without notice, he walked downstairs without even stopping “I’m sorry” he told himself as he left the house. He took once last look at the bedroom window before he were to get inside his car

His heart sank as he drove farther from Hae’s house, his chest closed in and the beating of his heart ached as a unanswered question remained inside his head, “Do… I really love him?”

Donghae on the other hand woke a few minutes right after Kyuhyun had left. Hae felt empty all of a sudden, he looked at where he had last seen Kyu and didn’t found him. He wondered on when he had left, it wasn’t usual for Kyu to be off without saying anything but he felt in his heart something had happened

He got up and didn’t found his clothes on the ground like his, he then got his robe and took a walk downstairs hoping that he’ll be able to see him; he went to the living room then the kitchen but there wasn’t any trace or a shadow. He then remembered the car Kyu had, he rushed to the front door to take a look but to his dismay, the car was not there. He smirked and felt weary, “That … he did got what he had wanted” a tear feel at the side of his cheek

It was something Hae had expected, though he had a strong hunch that he would be left alone once Kyu would get what he had longed for. He didn’t expect the pain for truly falling for someone like him, “You … you could’ve at least said something to me… before you’d left” he braced himself for the pain once more but at least deep inside he knew in himself he was able to love once again

“I guess there isn’t anything else I could do to stop this decision of yours… you did told me clearly what you wanted” he took in everything

-=-~~~~~~~~-=||o0o||=-~~~~~~~~-=-

At the meantime at the bar

-=-~~~~~~~~-=||o0o||=-~~~~~~~~-=-

Henry looked at Kyu’s condition ever since he got there, he couldn’t take his eyes off of him as he literally didn’t move a muscle. Henry then had enough and took a long breath and sighed heavily but still not getting any attention from Kyuhyun though

“I better call an ambulance to get this dead corpse out of this bar” he took a glimpse at the edge of his eyes to see any reaction but still none

He rolled his eyes, “What the hell happened to a guy that was usually full of cockiness and boastfulness” he took another peek, “But… what I currently see here is… a dead man that is sitting in a chair” still no response

Henry was fed up, “Alright, straight to the point… what the is wrong with you?”

Kyuhyun didn’t bother to look at him, “Did something happen between you and Donghae yesterday?” still not a single nudge from him

“Cho Kyuhyun what the hell is wrong with you!” he got fed up and yelled at him, “I’ve been doing my best to get you to spill so I could do something for you… why are you ignoring me” he never had burst in such rage before

Henry calmed down a bit after getting the load off his chest, “Fine… be like that to the only person who understands you” he felt so neglected by the way he was acting

“I’m sorry… for being like this” he finally heard a voice escape from Kyu’s mouth

“It’s just that… I don’t know how to deal with this hallow feeling that I’m going through right now” a rather dry tear fell at the side of his eye, “I want to be with him but… I don’t want to feel the same thing I’ve felt before” Henry understood what he meant

“You mean to say… you’ve decided to… leave him alone then?” slowly Kyu nodded his head, “Did you had a talk before you left him, I don’t mean to dictate what you’re supposed to do but… have you at least hear out what he wants to say before you made that decision?” another reaction that showed that he didn’t took the chance to listen up from him

“W-Why…? He deserves a chance to let you know that he needs you” he wanted to convince him

“I already knew that…” he huffed at the end, “I know dearly how much he needs me… from the day that he became my boyfriend… he had always openly said how much he did” Henry couldn’t understand why he was still determined to pursue his decision

“So why choose to leave him? If you really knew head on with how much he needed you, why leave him?” Kyu then faced him with a distressed look, “Because I’m scared to accept that fact that I… love him” he said wearily

He was fully aware that Kyuhyun was still revolting against the word love but he was being unfair with Donghae at the end of it, “Can you at least reconsider? He made you stop your old habit, changed you for the better, made you smile, laugh and finally fall again… do you intend to let that opportunity for you and him to be happy? You have no down side to this Kyu, don’t waste this chance of yours” he was eager to make him rethink his choice

“I can’t force myself to do it… I’m still weak and~” Henry interrupted

“You’re not weak, you’ve survived the pain, learned from it but in a way you sought revenge to others that’s why you became a player yourself but still, you gained more than enough from that fall you went through. Donghae… he was one of the gain that you should value even more… didn’t you told me that he was different from the very first day you’ve tried to hit on him?” Kyu recalled the times they’d spent for quite awhile

“Those moments that you’ve made with him, the things you’ve done with him, spent with him… doesn’t that mean anything to you? You said it yourself he was also afraid to love again because of his trauma, but now what? He conquered that fear he had because you made him realize that he could still love someone even if they couldn’t be trusted… he gave in and trusted you, would you let that trust vanish in a glimpse?” every little thing that Henry said was true and had hit him like a wall

“It’s not too late, Donghae… will still accept you, I know because I could tell on how much he expresses that feeling when I see the two of you” with such convincing, Kyu took in everything and with luck it gave him something to hold onto

“Your… right” it lifted Henry’s spirit as well, “He… entrusted me with his own and all I did in return was to run and hide… instead I should’ve grasped the opportunity to live a better life with him, I shouldn’t waste this chance with him” he got up from where he sat miserably and ran towards the parking lot but paused for a second to thank Henry, “I don’t know how to thank you”

“You idiot…! You can do that after you’ve made amends, get going!” he crossed his arms, Kyu smiled and dashed out

He was smiling, “How could I be so selfish on deciding without looking back on what we really had…” he got inside the car and started the engine, as he drove towards Hae’s house, his memories with him filled his mind

“For the past months you’ve been with me… you’ve shown nothing but love” a warm smile and a joyous laugh flashed inside his head, “Those times… I’ve never seen you frown when I came beside you” he then recalled a few pouts Hae would do

“But then again, you would frown and pout on me whenever I made a wrong answer or said the wrong words” he giggled, “But… you never let your temper decide on what you feel, your love always decided on what to do” he felt the rush once more, the bliss that he had always enjoyed when it comes to Donghae

“I… always come first to you” his heart felt like bursting, “And you should always come first for me” he pulled over at Hae’s house; he took a look at it before running inside

He pulled out his key and made his way inside, “Donghae!” he called out, he ran upstairs “Donghae!” he called out once more. When he opened the door, the bedroom was empty, he tried the kitchen and looked practically everywhere but there wasn’t any trace of him “Donghae… where in the world are you?” he felt fear swallow his heart at that moment

He then got rushed back to his car and took a hold of his phone, he called him right away but it seems that Hae’s phone was turned off. He had a very bad feeling at that point; he rushed to the places he knows on where Donghae would go to

Eventually, it took him the whole day but in a bad conclusion. Donghae was nowhere to be found, Kyu felt so bad about it that he had left without a word but he didn’t left for such a long period. He wondered if Hae was awake when he left or either way he had decided to also end the tie between them when he had left the house, he was still unsure but knows one thing. Hae must have made a decision as well

-=-~~~~~~~~-=||o0o||=-~~~~~~~~-=-

It was late when he got home

-=-~~~~~~~~-=||o0o||=-~~~~~~~~-=-

He felt exhausted but the lost was more felt that any other. He never thought that a single action could cause such thing. He sat at the couch still trouble on where to find him; he then took a look on his phone to once again try to make a call but still the same thing. He sighed and placed the phone at the lamp’s stand but he felt something under his fingers

He took a look and saw a letter placed at the side of the lamp, “I don’t recall any mail” he wondered and it hit him, he quickly tore the letter open. As he expected, it was from Donghae “I’m sorry that I couldn’t face you head on, I guess I was afraid on being turned down. I respect you decision and decided to let you go, I only want to give you what you wanted even if it would lead to something like this. I was happy and you’ve shed a light in my life that no one could ever do, though I was demanding and quite a pain at most, you always deal with me without any fuss” Kyu couldn’t help but to cry in silent as he read further

“Each moment meant everything for me, your perseverance and understanding… it was all too much that I’ve rendered myself to the feeling that came to value you. I may not be the person that could always make you believe in love again but one day, deep inside my heart that I had always wished that I could pull you out of that room you’ve hid inside but I can’t always hope for something that’s not meant to be” Kyu felt so crushed at his words

“But still, I was so glad to have been a great part of your life. Thank you for the time and care you’ve always showed me, I’ll cherish them until the very end and hopefully… you’d find someone to care for you and someone for me as well. And one more thing, I’ll always stay in love with you everywhere I might be” he finished the whole content of the message, he fell into darkness as he read the last part

It was like his world disintegrated right at that moment; he took a bottle of whiskey and drowned himself once again. Like he did before but this time, he wasn’t played… he played his own heart to hurt so much

Morning then came, he woke up at the floor feeling a sting on his head but still the ache in his heart was far more painful. He got up and took the liberty to at least clean himself up. When he got to the showers all the wonderful memories came running inside his head, with so much regrets going on inside his head he couldn’t help but to feel bad about himself. For him it was the worst decision he had ever made, he never thought fearing love would also mean that you would give up what you have to the person who made you happy

He had never came to a conclusion that this would happen to him, from the start he had wanted to have Donghae for his body but as he continued to have him, he had no idea he’d fall in love at the process. Denying that fact tore him apart, it was much severe than the previous one but what else could he do. Donghae was missing, he had no idea on where he might be nor would he even take a moment to sought things out between them. “It… hurts like hell” he whispered to himself

When he was finished, he sat alone on his couch. It held so much of his memories with him, he wanted to stop looking at the past so it would stop the pain but it was inevitable as he was used to having Donghae beside him. He laid down remembering the feeling of having Hae on top of him as they rested so many times in it

It eased the pain even for a little but the fact that he had lost him was still lingering in his head. He made a mistake and the only way for him to get through it was to accept it and move on. A knock on the door suddenly echoed in his empty house

He got up but not he wasn’t eager to know who was knocking on the door, he knows it’s not Hae but still he should answer it. When he opened the door Henry stood with his hands crossed over, he was being eyed by him “So… are you sober now? Or do you plan on drinking and go clubbing like you did before?” he bluntly said

He felt bad with the way he spoke, “You already know my situation, please… don’t rub it in because it’s not helping” he was about to turn away but Henry took hold of his arm and dragged him out

“Hey! What the is your problem? Let me go!” he demanded

“Just shut up and come with me” he answered

“I don’t want to!” he pulled his arm away

“I don’t want to go on a gimmick, a blind date, a wonderful time or any other stuff! I want to be left alone because this ing pain inside me is twice than what I’ve felt before!” he yelled at him “So please… let me get over this before you do anything for me” he weakly said

Henry gave him a smack in the face which had stunned him, “There? Did that do the trick?” he felt his cheek burn up at the pain

“Good… it seemed effective, just shut up and come with me” he pulled him once more and he didn’t seem to resist

Along the way they seem to be both quiet, Kyu on the other hand just looked outside the window. He stared at the buildings that they would pass through, it felt rather easing. Maybe it was best to just let Henry help him out a bit

“Thank you” Henry heard him

“For what?” he kept his eyes on the road

“For being there for me even though I you out when I’m like this” he continued to stare blankly

“Well, I got used to it on your first dilemma so… I’m just doing my part as your friend… your only friend” he reminded him

“Well I’m fortunate to have you, through thick and thin you were with me… even if I’d push you away you were unyielding and didn’t falter to get me back up” Henry smiled

“I guess I can’t let a like you alone, you always make the wrong decision for yourself. You know you should listen to me more often so you’d be more happier but then again, I can’t dictate you to do as I say… what will be the sense of your own free will” he chuckled

“Yeah… well, my free will seems to be ineffective on most circumstances” he admitted

“Nope… it’s just your intuition on making wrong choices, you’ll never change” he finally heard a laugh on Kyu’s end

“I could never thank you more than enough” he noticed Henry shook his head

“I wouldn’t give my thanks just yet” he added

They then pulled over a house, Kyu wondered on who they came for or to visit but he had trust in him, “Come on!” he ordered

Kyu followed him, he then saw his boyfriend, “Maybe he just wants me to have fun with them at the time being… well I should give it a try rather than to lock myself up again” he told himself

“Hi, it’s nice to see you again Kyu” he greeted, “Make yourselves at home” they made their way inside

Kyu and Henry sat at the living room, “So Henry, would the two of you care for a glass of juice or tea? I’ve prepared some just in case” he offered

Kyu smiled, “Uh… I’d prefer some tea” “Some juice for me” Henry added

“I’ll just be right back” he made his way inside the kitchen, “Oh yeah, just one moment Kyu I’ll help him out with something for us to munch in” he excused himself

Kyu nodded and let him follow at the kitchen; he then stood up and looked around the house. He saw some pictures on top of the furnace, he looked closely at each of it and saw pictures of Henry’s boyfriend and family but there’s also one person along with it. He saw Donghae as part of those photos; he smiled happily as he looked on how young he was at the picture.

“I was at high school at that time; he was like a brother to me so I was always part of the family picture. He got jealous with me once when we were kids because he felt that I was their real son rather than him” he froze to hear a familiar voice

“I was loved by them even if they weren’t my real family” he slowly turned and to his shock it was Donghae standing right in front of him

“I was alone for quite a long time ever since I stepped on adulthood; I was young and foolish to let myself fall for someone. I also gave my all with my first boyfriend but that was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made” Kyu made slow steps towards him

“But after a few months right after our break up, I found a guy who was like him. He played with people’s heart and gets laid with them without think that they might get hurt with his deceiving words but like a kid who gets captivated by a little treat, I fell in love with him. We dated for weeks until we decided to take it further. He became my boyfriend for three months and I’ve done my best to ask of him to make love with me… to my dismay, he left me like he did with any other player would do” Kyu’s tears fell as he was near to him

“But you know what? I can’t run away again… I can’t lose him like I lost my first, because if I’d let him slip away… I’ll be back to square one” he smiled and Kyu’s hand finally landed on his cheek

“I’ll be so stupid to give up this love I have for that ” it made Kyuhyun smile

“Like I said Kyu… I’ll stay in love with you, even after what you did” he placed both his hands on his face and locked him to face each other intensely

“I-I… love you too” Kyu cried out and Hae kissed him, he felt complete once again. To have Hae once again meant the world, he deepened the kiss by pulling him closer, embracing him tightly as if he’d never let go

As Hae pulled away, their eyes both glistened with joy. Their sight was locked onto each other, “I… hope you’ve learned your lesson too” he kid and Kyu chuckled

“I… I just realized how important you were in my life when Henry made me look back on what we’ve been through” Hae pinched his cheek

“So Henry is the one who’s supposed to make you realize my importance? Didn’t you at least realized that when we did it that night!” he scolded

“I guess not” he chuckled

“You really are an … but your my ” he embraced him

“I thought… I’d lose you” he told him

“Next time, if you do such thing I’ll lock you at the room and won’t let you out without a leash!” he joked

“Well, the both of you seem happy?” Henry came

“Yeah… well, make sure your friend here won’t make another mistake like that” he requested

“Don’t worry, next time he’ll do such thing… I’ll get some rope and chair and give him some solitary confinement” they all laughed except for Kyu

“Aish… you’d do such stuff even if you’d joke about it!” he broke free from the embrace

“Well, make sure you won’t make another wrong decision like that because you know what I can do” he chuckled

Kyu’s face suddenly turned serious and then turned to look at Hae, “Don’t worry… I don’t plan on making the same mistake twice” Hae gave the sweet and gentle smile he had always gave and rested his head onto Kyu’s shoulder

“I think he learned a lot too” Kyu gave a tender peck onto his forehead and they all enjoyed the rest of the day along with each other

-=-~~~~~~~~-=||o0o||=-~~~~~~~~-=-

Both of them learned that love doesn’t give any importance on the person’s past has but what could the person give to your future. They might not have expected to fall for each other, but in the end they’ve managed to find the brighter side of their personalities and came to know that they’ve fallen deeply in love to fill up the empty space in their lives.

-=-~~~~~~~~-=||o0o||=-~~~~~~~~-=-