2.3k of word vomit. forgive me. idek. ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. and this is like so outdated, almost like mama era with baekyeol roomates sht. read if you want, don't if you don't want. uhm ofc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Baekhyunnie," Chanyeol calls out. "What do you think it feels like?"

 

It's a random and rather innocent question that Baekhyun could only squint his eyes at his roommate on the opposite side of the room and it's enough to drive his mind into mode overload because he knows that when Chanyeol is curious like this, it almost always doesn't result to something that would do him favor. The last time Chanyeol had made Baekhyun tag along into his baking slash microwave adventure of a cookie dough that apparently weighed a gram, it didn't work. Not that there isn't a microwaveable cookie so to speak, but Chanyeol had done something wrong in the process and they ended up eating only that for three whole days because Suho insisted and the other three didn't like the taste of the outcome.

 

"What does?"

 

"Kissing guys."

 

"You haven't?" Baekhyun asks innocently for the first time and then it dawns on him. The word guys. And the danger starts at that when Baekhyun fidgets. When it's an action word with obviously an '-ing', examples of which be: baking, cooking, kissing, and with 'guys' (and not 'gals') and the like, it's pretty much a given for Baekhyun to assume that Chanyeol wants to try it out. Worse comes to worst, Chanyeol tries it out with him or on him even. Baekhyun isn't given much choice to do given the matter on hand and instead insists to drive the younger's mind some place else. "It's nothing. I mean, I don't think it's anything really. Not that I've tried," he replies, not that he's experienced in the field cause he's as much a doofus on it as Chanyeol is. "Hey, maybe we could play Sudden Attack. No one's on the console right now. You like that game, right?"

 

"Okay."

 

So maybe it worked and Baekhyun sighs and is relieved for now when Chanyeol stands up and he follows suit. He just oh-so hopes that the younger doesn't bring it back up on topic again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's in the latter part of the game that Baekhyun surrenders and practically begs Chanyeol to play solo when all that's going through the younger's mind is to play a bit more. Baekhyun then seeks comfort propped on the couch nearest Chanyeol and closes his eyes and just breathes, because suddenly he's tired and just wants to sleep.

 

Something comes in a rush when shortly after Baekhyun hiccups, Chanyeol's turning off the console. Baekhyun's still lying down, his eyes shut and hiccuping when Chanyeol places an arm on his side and he doesn't move or at least tries not to. Chanyeol unfortunately mistakes his hiccups for his infamous yelping sounds, because suddenly Baekhyun sounds like a yelping dog—and assumes he's asleep.

 

And that's when it happens. 

 

When Chanyeol leans in and assumes that Baekhyun is asleep. Baekhyun, on the other hand, tries so hard to delay his hiccups and probably his breathing when he feels the other's breathing ghost over his face. He doesn't know what's happening, at least visually with his eyes closed, but he's got an idea as to what and he's curious as well so he doesn't stop pretending to be asleep when Chanyeol goes nearer and all he feels is a soft pressure upon his lips and 

 

Chanyeol's gone.

 

Baekhyun's mind is a madman when he hears a door shut and cracks an eye open to check if Chanyeol's still in the vicinity. Somehow, he realizes that his hiccups had miraculously stopped and suddenly he's bringing a hand over his lips for his fingers to touch and feel the lips Chanyeol kissed. Moreover, his heart was beating like crazy. He wouldn't even lie. He felt something nice and he thought kissing guys—err, at least Chanyeol, was nothing. He was just so wrong. But the fact that they're both guys leads it to a whole new level of wrongness. Or so he thinks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Baekhyun pretends he doesn't know.

 

Chanyeol tries so hard to think nothing of the kiss. Yes, like Baekhyun told him.

 

Honestly, they both don't know what to feel. They've been keeping up with the acting for almost a day now and if it lasts any longer, Baekhyun doesn't know if he could take it anymore. He's just glad no one seems to notice in between their performance and radio broadcasts, but starts thinking that maybe he'll do something unpleasant once back home and that it would degrade his reputation in Chanyeol's eyes.

 

Chanyeol couldn't even think clearly as to what his reason is of doing it. Okay, so maybe it's out of pure curiosity but he needed another solid enough reason. Maybe because it's Baekhyun and in Baekhyun he needs not hide anything, of course except for the little incident. At least, only when Baekhyun had clear cut told him previously that kissing guys—or Baekhyun, for that matter, was nothing—that's when he assumed that it's not fine to talk about or even inform Baekhyun. Or maybe because he likes Baekhyun and is in need of immediate confirmation of the assumption if he likes him much more than a best friend? He shakes his head at that when he thinks that it's probably it. So much for curiosity, really. It's driving him insane.

 

Sure, Baekhyun is patient and Baekhyun is kind and probably all the typical cliche of a nice person to Chanyeol. But Chanyeol's positive that it might cause them awkwardness in the long run revealing the truth and possibly ruin their friendship. Chanyeol doesn't want that. Maybe it would be okay if he hadn't felt anything, but he really did, he's sure and he's just so confused. And wouldn't it have been easier if he'd just asked permission. But really, doing it in Baekhyun's consent and awareness? He's thinking that he's out of his mind.

 

Baekhyun is mad because he felt something nice out of the kiss and somehow he wants Chanyeol to admit to the truth and he doesn't know how to go about it. But an idea creeps inside his head and uality be damned for when did he even start thinking it hinders love—or an object of affection? Except Chanyeol isn't an object, but a person of affection—for lack of a better statement? But that aside, clearly he felt something nice with Chanyeol's kiss and it doesn't even matter if it was just the kiss and slash or Chanyeol as well who added a much nicer feeling to it. Baekhyun only knows that when he feels this something nice out of the blue, it's because he's affected in a more-than-friends—or-best-friends way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

On their way home, Suho takes note of the silence and suspiciously peers at the back most seat where Chanyeol and Baekhyun are seated together looking like they're thinking deeply. Usually, the two would cause havoc and disrupt Jongin's need of sleep with his head propped on Kyungsoo's shoulders and sometimes ask Sehun to join in the fun. But it's weird how Suho's getting none of it at the moment and he could only look back at Kyungsoo, Jongin, Sehun, and finally at the roof to wonder. But sometimes wondering and looking at the roof leads to one thing and another and he just couldn't help but ask, "Is anything the matter, Baekhyun and Chanyeol?"

 

Baekhyun's and Chanyeol's heads bump momentarily into each other before answering Suho's question in unison with a, "Just thinking." And somehow being in sync is fine is what Suho thinks. Finally, he concludes that maybe they're just really tired.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When they're back in their respective rooms and hastily back in their pajamas, Chanyeol sits on his bed with Baekhyun across him on his own. 

 

"You are such an idiot!" Baekhyun practically yells at his roommate across beds. He stalks over to the edge of Chanyeol's bed and points a finger at him.

 

"What? What did I do now?" Chanyeol looks bewildered. He truly doesn't know what he'd done this time.

 

"Just, ugh. Chanyeol, sleep!" Baekhyun yells again, hands furiously messing his hair in frustration as he walks back to his own bed. 

 

"But I'm not sleepy."

 

"You're not sleepy?"

 

Chanyeol shakes his head.

 

"Okay, I want to try something," and it takes just that and he's at the foot of Chanyeol's bed again.

 

Chanyeol's about to ask what Baekhyun's trying to do, but then Baekhyun sits nearer. Too near, in fact, to him.

 

"Aren't you curious, too?" and it's obvious Baekhyun's looking at his lips.

 

"N-no," Chanyeol stutters. "Not anymore."

 

"Why?" Baekhyun pretends to pout, huffing a puff of air. "Have you tried it with someone else?"

 

"I—yes, Baek, I—" when Chanyeol's about to confess to the truth, Baekhyun shushes him with two fingers on his lips.

 

"Let's just do this, Chanyeol. We're friends, right? No hard feelings? I'm curious as hell, too. And I swear don't feel anything, okay?" Because Baekhyun is still partially in denial.

 

"No, I can't."

 

"You can't what?"

 

"No, Baek."

 

"No tongues."

 

"Fine!" and Chanyeol gives up altogether, finally taking initiative of putting his mouth over Baekhyun's.

 

They start slow... just with moving lips and you know... randomly moving and with a few massages here and there. They both feel a low burn in the pits of their stomach, but they shrug it away because it wasn't supposed to feel like anything else, right? At least, because this is mere experiment. Although Chanyeol feels the right to trace his tongue on Baekhyun's lower lip, he resists the urge to and pushes Baekhyun away almost abruptly. He thinks that if he didn't stop himself, then Baekhyun may or may not have ended on his lap or worst him hovering over Baekhyun doing unspeakable things to each other.

 

For a moment he sees Baekhyun with a hurt expression written across his face, but then he shrugs it off when he doesn't even notice Baekhyun's gone back to his bed and facing away from him.

 

"Baek—"

 

And something is ringing in Baekhyun's head and he just wants to stop it and he thinks Chanyeol speaking doesn't even help, so he shuts Chanyeol up.

 

"So what do you think?"

 

"What do you mean what I think?"

 

"How it feels?"

 

"I—"

 

"It's okay, Chanyeol," and somehow Baekhyun doesn't know why he's saying that.

 

"Nothing." Nothing, right? is what Chanyeol asks in his mind. You told me I shouldn't feel anything. And I don't because you said so.

 

"Okay. Goodnight," and Baekhyun turns off the lamp by his bedside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's becoming almost like a habit, because the next time they kiss, Baekhyun initiates it. To Baekhyun, it's because he wants to clarify his feelings for the taller—to get rid off his doubts at the bottom most of his heart. 

 

Chanyeol thinks otherwise. He thinks it's revenge and doesn't mind as their lips mesh and he feels a low burn at the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, it's so hot and he doesn't know if he's willing to stop, but Baekhyun does and he's backing away further and further and away back to his own bed. 

 

Chanyeol doesn't know if Baekhyun could see him panting, could feel or see his heart beating so frantically from the distance across them. 

 

"Now tell me what it feels?" Baekhyun asks abruptly, settled in the comfort of his own bed, looking at Chanyeol across him who looks disoriented and trying to process a train of thought. 

 

"Nothing," Chanyeol says, quiet. 

 

"Nothing?" Baekhyun sounds hurt.

 

"Look, you told me it should feel like nothing. I'm trying," Chanyeol musses his hair in anger, almost says that harsh with the tone of his voice increasing.

 

"But right now all I ask of you is to tell me exactly what you feel about it without me telling you to feel whatever I said you should not feel. I don't know."

 

"It feels different in a sense, but I liked it, okay?"

 

"You liked it? Is that it?"

 

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

 

"Like the truth."

 

"Look, this is so awkward alright?" Chanyeol sighs. 

 

"What is?" Baekhyun gulps.

 

"I want to kiss you again."

 

"Just—what!?"

 

"I said I feel like I want to kiss you again," Chanyeol says with determination.

 

In which Baekhyun chokes on his saliva asking quietly, "You feel?"

 

"No, I'm sure. And this time with no restrictions about what not to do and what to."

 

And just like that, Baekhyun doesn't know how he gets back on Chanyeol's bed. The only thing that registers in his mind is Chanyeol's kissing him and some more and and and he thinks he really likes him, so he says just that in between kisses. Chanyeol only lets out a low laugh and receives a punch on his shoulder from Baekhyun, for a lack of a vocal reaction other than a moan when Baekhyun brushes a tongue on his lower lip. Wait, what? Was that a moan Chanyeol just emitted? 

 

"What was that?" Baekhyun's eyes widen.

 

"Nothing."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later on, they lie in bed side by side, completely calmed down from the high of their lives. They look at the constellations, the glow-in-the-dark stick-ons on the ceiling. It's the only light they see, because it's past lights off and they can't be too noisy after the kissing and the obligatory cuddling.

 

"That time I kissed you when you were aware was not the first time," Chanyeol confesses. 

 

"What?" Baekhyun asks, turning on his side to face Chanyeol. But then it finally clicks and he's holding his stomach in laughter, because, "Oh, I know."

 

"You do?"

 

"Yeah, I was awake when you first kissed me when you thought I was sleeping on the couch."

 

"Oh."

 

"Yeah."

 

"You know why I wanted to know what it feels like to kiss guys?"

 

"Why?"

 

"Because I wanted to know if I really liked you."

 

"And?"

 

"And I do."

 

 

 

 

 

 

ackkkkkkkkkkkk