MIXEDEMOTIONSxxx

Right after Misaki – the makeup artist removed all of my makeup, I just wear a hoodie to cover up and immediately leave the studio with my Akako - my assistant.

“Where are we heading Kiko-chan?” Akako asked me once she reached the driver’s seat of my car.

“To my place.” I said as I try to call him again.

But the other line just keeps on ringing... He’s not picking up.

Argh. This guy really, he obviously know that this kind of calls drive me insane.

I really don’t know what to feel at this very moment.

Was it anticipation?

It’s been a month already since the last time I saw him. I know I promised myself not to be a selfish girlfriend and to avoid telling him that I miss him because he might end up being reckless again and do such things.

Like what he did last White Day.

~*~

I remember when I kidded him about me getting jealous with all the dating couples in the street that day, how I see young teens giving chocolates and gifts to their loved ones here and there.

I was just joking around and didn’t expect him to take it seriously. I honestly couldn’t imagine how he managed to sneaked out from his schedule and secretly book a flight to Japan on the same day.

I really felt really bad that time, since he’s not replying to my messages and his phone was turned off after that call. I thought that he became mad about it since it was pretty shallow. (Hey! Don’t give me that look, I was just kidding. I swear.)

But I was wrong.

Minutes before the White day ends, my door bell rings and to my surprise...

There he is standing on my doorstep wearing his very casual getup, a beanie, a mask and a basket of Godiva chocolates on his left hand.

“I thought that I wouldn’t be able to make it on time.” He said in between his breathing. That’s when I noticed that his face was drenched in sweat, his mouth is rapidly gasping for air as his chest went up and down.

But I was too surprised to even say a thing. I just stood there, frozen on my spot still holding the doorknob.

“My flight was delayed, it was raining really hard and I had a hard time looking for a cab.” He said still gasping for air as he fan his face with his other hand. “Mianhe Babe—”

But I heard enough...  It took me a second to snapped back to reality as I launch myself at him and hug him tight.

“Y--you’re crazy... W—what are you doing here?... Why did you even bother?... It’s fine Jiyong... it’s fine.” I said as I try my best not to choke with the lumping of my throat.

“Yah...” he calmly called as he removed my hold to him. He caressed my face and cupped it both with his hands. “Aren’t you happy that I’m here?—” He asked in disappointment.

“W-What are you saying?!” I exclaimed. “Of course I’m happy. I’m really happy.” I choked as I felt a teardrop fall to my cheeks.

I could see confusion in his face as he wipe the tears using his hand. “Ssshh... why are you crying babe?” He asked as he pulled me to an embrace. “Ssshh... Stop crying arasso?” He comfortingly said as he my back.

“I’m just happy... too happy... Thank you...” I explained as I hug him tightly.

“Well... that’s a relief.” He said. “I thought my manager’s scolding will be put to waste—” that cracked me back to our reality and face him with utter shock in my face.

“Wait— Don’t tell me... y-you sneaked out?—” I stuttered.

“Don’t think about it babe hmm?” He assured and gave me his boyish smile. That smile he use whenever he’s in trouble. What to do with this guy? He’s just irresistible. “Why don’t you let me come in first? I’m quite wet you know.” He smirked.

WHAT?!

That’s when I realized that we’re still in my doorstep, I immediately grab him inside my house and help him with the basket.

“Where is your luggage?” I asked when I noticed that he only have the basket of chocolates and nothing else.

Instantly I saw his smile disappear as he approach me. “Mianhe Babe... I need to get back to Seoul tomorrow morning.” He explained as he hold both of my hands. “Nam Gook-hyung will surely fry my if I missed my scheduled CF shoot.”

“Oh.. Is that so?” Of course, I’m quite disappointed that he needs to leave immediately but it doesn’t matter. I couldn’t ask for more. He’s here. He’s here just to celebrate White Day with me. “Of course it’s okay.” I assured him. “Are you crazy? You fly here from Seoul just to surprise me and you’re sorry because you couldn’t stay long?” I kidded.

Hearing that he just smiled at me and say “I love you...” He said as he lean closer to my face and hold my chin with his right hand. “Aeru Noriko-chan...” he continued before we shared a short warm kiss.

“Saranghae Jiyong Oppa...” I answered with a smile.

“Wait...” He said as he stood straight and gives me his familiar smirk... Ohh... I don’t trust this smirk— “Before anything gets wild—” I knew it.

“Hey!!!” I hissed and slap his arm.

“I’m just kidding hehe.” He said as he grab something from his pocket.

“Here.” He grabbed my hand and place a crumble pack of Godiva onto my palm. When I didn’t do anything and just stare at it. “Yah. You have to open it.”

I did what he said, I opened the pack and saw a miserably-cut heart shape chocolate inside. “Eh? What’s this?” I asked.

“I mold it inside the plane.” He explained as I stare at him – he’s scratching his nape and looking around my place then I stare back to the chocolate then back at him.

“Yah! Dont give me that look. They don’t have a decent knife for me to use okay?” he started whining like a child as he pout and stomp his feet.

“I wasn’t saying anything.” I said as I try my best not to laugh with his child antics.

Yeah he’s crazy like that.

~*~

I’m still trying to call him as we drive through the busy road of Tokyo.

And yes, being the stubborn boy that he is he’s still not answering my call or even reply to my SMS.

GREAT. This is perfect. This will really make me go insane.

“Don’t worry Kiko-chan, I’m driving fast already.” Akako teased as she made a left turn.

“I’m not saying anything Akako...” I shyly said as I put my phone in my lap and gaze at the view outside the car’s window.

“We’ll be there in just a few minutes. Just be patient okay? Haha.” She mocked.

“Tsk. Just drive carefully okay? Stop with this nonsense.” I retorted as I faced her.

Then I sighed. “For all we know he’s just fooling around. He might just be joking when he told me he’s here.”

“Hey. Haven’t you forgotten that yet?” she asked.

“What are you talking about?” I asked. But of course, I exactly knew what she’s talking about.

“Hey. The guy is already sorry okay? And hello? It’s been months already since it happened.” She explained.

I know... I know...

But what if he’s not really there?

With that thought in my mind, I couldn’t help not to feel disappointed.

~*~

“Mianhe Babe... Please don’t get mad at me. I didn’t mean to stand you up.” He said on the other line.

I could hear different voices and his song playing on the background. It’s already midnight and I guess he’s still inside the studio.

“It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” I said.

OF COURSE IT’S NOT OKAY. He promised me that today we will celebrate his first upcoming solo album. That today is his rest day, a free day for himself.

We already planned this 1 month ago – I even asked him a couple of times if it’s really okay for us to meet in such a busy and crucial time of his schedule. He’s the one who insisted this not me.

I even prepared for our itinerary for today. Our trip to the amusement park, the cozy resto I learned about – I’m planning to take him for our lunch, the movie that he wanted to watch, the stroll that we’ve been planning since Day 1 and the dinner that I prepared myself – with the help and cooking tutorial of Okaasan for the past few days.

“Mianhe... Nam Gook-hyung hid my phone and passport when he learned that I’m leaving for Japan this morning. I only got a hold of my phone just now.” I heard him sighed. “Mianhe... A lot of things happened today. I was really occupied.” He said in a tired voice.

I know, I should understand him... but I can’t help not to feel bad about this. We were happily chatting last night, both of us are really excited for our official date today – since we really don’t have the chance to go out together. Co’z most of the time we’ll just stay in my place or his, order some take out and watch DVDs - that’s it. So I’m really looking forward for this day.

But right after he told me that he’s just going to pick up some of his things in YG and that he’s on his way to the airport after that...

Nada.

I tried to call him for a few times and I’ve been sending hundreds of messages on his numbers already – his Korean and Japan’s contact number, I even try to contact s but they all have different schedule for the day... Nada.

Not a call and not a text about our so-called date.

Until now,

“It’s okay Jiyong... Don’t worry about it.”

“Aniyo... it’s not okay. Mianhe Noriko-chan... I’m a stupid boyfriend... Mianhe... I’ll make it up to you I promise.”

And yes, he really did make up to me...

He brought me to the amusement park.

~*~

“Stop fidgeting Kiko... we’re almost there. It’s just a few minutes of traffic, don’t worry he won’t leave.” Akako teased again me as we stop in an intersection.

“I’m not.” I said and stick my tongue out.

GAD. THIS IS THE LONGEST TRAVEL OF MY LIFE.

Why is it that everytime I’m rushing to get home – we will somehow end up in a traffic? And if I don’t need to go somewhere important... there there the troll road is free like an airport runway.

“But Kiko-chan... You two should be careful okay? Everyone is snooping about you and him, to your every move, every path you take, even your clothes—” yeah yeah, there she goes again. Being a grandma all of a sudden.

“I know Obaasan—” I teased.

“I’m serious Kiko... I’m just scared of what might happen—”

“I know... I know...”

I’m scared too.

Yes, I’m terrified.

I think I do have a lot more of what ifs in my head compare to Akako.

What if a paparazzi saw him leaving Seoul?

Or worse imagine if they found out that he’s heading furtively to Japan.

What if a fan saw him in the airport here or in Seoul?

Or worse imagine if they saw him entering my condo.

THAT WILL BE A TOTAL CHAOS.

Worse than when the scandal broke out few months ago...

~*~

[NEWS!] G-DRAGON AND JAPANESE MODEL MIZUHARA KIKO ARE DATING!

“Don’t worry babe, I’ll handle this... Don’t think too much arasso? I’ll handle this. Everything is gonna be alright.” He assured as he hold my hand tightly.

We we’re currently in his place (in Seoul) that time when the news broke. YG suddenly call Jiyong for a meeting and asked him to immediately meet him in his office.

I could obviously tell that there’s a turmoil going on. Since the phones in the YG office is ringing nonstop. Even though the PR personnel are speaking in Hangul – I can clearly understand or I must say that I already memorized the words they said. They’re saying the same thing in each phone call they take.

“They’re just receiving the calls babe... They’re not giving any statements about it yet.” He told me for the nth time.

Maybe the worry in my face is really obvious co’z he didn’t stop telling me that everything is gonna be alright, there’s nothing to worry about, that he’ll handle this... But I know that he’s also worried about it.

He might look strong and cold now but I know him. I know him well enough.

“I trust you Jiyong.” I said as I smiled to him.

After a few minutes...

He was called by YG through the office’s intercom.

“I’ll just meet hyung for a few minutes. Stay here, I’ll be back as soon as I can.” He said. “I’ll bring my phone with me. Call me if you need anything arasso? Or you may ask Jee Hin here.” He continued then turn to look at the girl sitting across the room and say something to her in Hangul.

“Don’t think too much. Everything is gonna be just fine.” He said again as he ruffle my hair “I love you.” Then he left.

I don’t know how long did I wait for him but I know that it was long enough for me to notice that the PR personnel are giving me glares as they talk about me.

They know that I only knew few Hangul, but the way they look cautiously at each other and at the same time glare at me – I know right then and there that they’re talking bad about me.

And the sweet nothings of some netizens in my social networking accounts are not helping at all. Most comments are in Hangul, but I was also surprised to see that even his Japanese & International fans hate me now.

WHAT? That is dating Jiyong-oppa?? SHE’S UGLY!

STAY AWAY FROM MY OPPA!

That’s photoshop! I know Oppa won’t date an ugly girl like her!

I agree. That’s indeed photoshop!

Maybe she’s just using G-dragon for fame. She just wants to be popular that’s why. Such a ! DIE ! DIE BUTCH!

Jiyong-oppa and Dara-noona are the real deal! This is fake! Jiyong-oppa is just using this Kiko girl to cover his relationship with Dara-noona.

THIS IS FAKE!

And many more...

“W-where are you going Kiko-ssi?” Jee Hin asked in her broken English when she saw me walking towards the door.

“I’m just going to the comfort room.” I said and bowed at her.

I lied.

I just want to get out from here. Somewhere away from here.

This is hell.

As I walk in the hallway, the least person that I’m expecting to see caught my eyes...

“Kiko-ssi...” she called.

“Dara-san...”

~*~

“We’re here Kiko-chan.” Akako told me as she stopped in my parkway.

~*~

Anyeong~ Please bear in mind that this is a fictional story. I just use some of the news regarding G-KO. Mianhe for all the incorrect terms or info I included here.

Let me know what you think of the story ;) Thanks! :)

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