2013

*Joanne*

        Ever since that day, whenever I needed him, I called out his name. And he never failed me. But today, I sat in front of the hospital and yelled his name, but I didn't see him.

"Jo-ya, let's go inside. It's gonna rain" Jinhee came and made me stand up from the bench. "Oppa will call you right after the show. He'll be here as fast as he can. For now, let's go in. Plus, Ji-Hoon is waiting for you." she said, holding me up from my shoulders. I knew Ji-Hoon oppa was there, but I needed my Oppa. I never cried in front of anyone. He was the first to see my tears. Ever since, he was the only one who saw my tears. He was my personal super-hero who came running when I needed him. He was my Oppa.

"I need him" I said, looking back as she dragged me back towards my family. Ji-Hoon oppa came running and held me tight and gave me a warm hug.

"Everything's going to be fine love" he said, and I wanted to believe him. No matter what, I couldn't get over the fact Oppa wasn't here.

        The doctor walked out of grandma's room and shook his head. Mom broke into tears again and I turned my face towards Ji-Hoon oppa. He wrapped his warm arms around me and kissed my hair. I ran my arms around him and cried out loud. First time, I thought, this is the first time I'm crying in someone else's arm.

"Jo-ya!" I heard that familiar voice, and I broke free from my boyfriend's arms and ran to my Oppa.

***

*Dongwoon*

"Oppa! Halmoni left me!" she whispered through the sniffs, and I held her tightly, letting her into my embrace.

"Don't worry. She's in a good place, watching over you" I spoke, and she nodded. To tell the truth, it was hard to watch her. She's been spending way too much time in the hospital because of her grandma, and her eyes were swollen and she looked like she hasn't slept in years.

"Oppa, I missed you" she whispered, and I wanted to kiss her. For the past six years, I've only been thinking of her. I wanted to spend more and more time with her, but our Debut came and I had no choice but to push her out of my mind so I could concentrate on being a perfect idol. She hated me for that; for becoming an idol.

"Me too" I spoke, pushing my thoughts away as I always did and holding her tight. Then I saw her boyfriend's face. He was one year older than me, and worked at our company. I have to admit, they met through me, but I was always jealous of him for taking her away from me. From afar, he stared at us. I decided to pull her away and make her look at me. "Now," I said, moving my hand over her soft face and wiping the tears. "Don't cry. And," I spoke, looking at Ji-Hoonie hyung again. "Your boyfriend would get jealous if you keep crying in front of me" I said as hyung walked over to us.

"How are you, Hyung?" I asked him first, letting go of what should have been mine.

"Not bad, busy these days, eh?" he asked, and I nodded. "Joanne butaghae." I said, biting back my anger and frustration. Why did Joanne pick him over me?

        Then I watched her hand that was wrapped around me slowly slip away as she found comfort in her lover. I closed my eyes and put on a fake smile.

"I have to go." I spoke, and watched Joanne's reaction. As I turned, she grabbed my hand.

"Hajima!" she spoke, shaking her head with tears running out of her eyes. "Oppa, you can't go" she said, and even in the gloomy weather, I felt happy.

"Mianhae, Jo-ya. Oppa's busy" I spoke, letting go of the hand I wanted to hold so badly and regretting it the moment I did.

"I'll take it from here" said Ji-Hoon hyung. I looked at him and smiled. Stupid hyung. Don't you get jealous of your woman holding on to me? I wanted to ask, but I remembered when they started dating, he told me he understood how Joanne felt about me. Yeah, she treated me like a real little sister treating her real brother. I knew that too, but to me, she was a beautiful woman whom I could not have.

        Turning to her one more time, I waved goodbye. She started crying again, and quickly hid herself in her boyfriend's embrace. I knew I might have had her for all those year, but now she belonged to him. No matter how hard it was, I had to be the one to back off. I didn't want to stay there anyway, watching her cuddle with him. After all, I knew when my cue to leave was. And right now... it was the time to say my goodbye.

***

*Joanne*

        I watched Oppa walk away and couldn't bear seeing him disappear, so I hid my face again. Ji-Hoon oppa wrapped his arms around me again.

"He's busy" I muttered to myself, but the tears wouldn't stop. Turning around, I looked once again, but he was gone. And my heart ached more than usual. I held Ji-Hoon oppa's shirt and started crying loudly. Jinhee walked over and rubbed my back.

        For some reason, I knew I lost two people today. My grandma who I loved more than anyone, and my Oppa, the person I wanted the most.