Minseok likes Luhan. Luhan is pretty, and nice and fun to be around. Luhan is very touchy, but Minseok doesn’t mind. In fact, he feels so comfortable with Luhan practically manhandling him that he wished he could be with his Chinese even more. He wishes he could crawl into bed with the other, or cuddle up to him on the couch. Minseok isn’t like that though. He is far less comfortable showing affection than he is receiving it.

             Minseok knows that Luhan likes him a lot. Anyone could tell though, it wasn’t that big of an accomplishment. Minseok knows that Luhan pays him more attention than he does the younger members. Luhan is so attentive to the older man, and Minseok can’t get enough of it. Minseok secretly cherishes the moments with Luhan.  

               During the debut era of EXO, Minseok didn’t like Luhan as much. He had begun to really rely on the other’s company, even if he didn’t show it. After Luhan began noticing his popularity, he stopped paying as much attention to Minseok, and more to the fans. The Korean knows this was not something he had any right to be mad about, but he couldn’t help it. Minseok was a mature guy, but Luhan made him feel so childish.

               Luhan’s carefree attitude carried on while they were promoting in China. Minseok was so attentive to the deer-like man’s every move that it was borderline unhealthy.  And also very depressing. Minseok was so grateful to be working towards his dream, but he was so lost and confused in China that it didn’t feel like he was getting anywhere. The fans paid him the amount of attention the managers got, and the only thing he was remembered for was that stupid ‘Baozi’ nickname Luhan gave him. On one hand, he was thankful that his friend was thinking of him, but on the other, steamed bun? Really? As if he wasn’t already feeling pressured about his weight. Weight that he barely even had, it was mostly just the shape of his face.

                The Chinese promotions were just a blur of distraught and confusion for Minseok. While Chen was there to talk to, that kid was such a smart that Minseok could only handle so much time with him. He missed the unending attention he got from all his dongsaengs. He missed being able to be selfish about things. Now, he was just on the side. He felt like a placeholder in EXO-M, and he was marketed like it as well.

                 He remembered when they were joining back up with K to start touring with SM Town. Luhan was suddenly attached to his hip again. Minseok was wary that he was just a friend whenever necessary to Luhan, but he got over that pretty quickly. Luhan began making such an effort to be with Minseok that it was effortless, as stupid as that sounds. Luhan fit so naturally next to him that it felt like the China promotions was just a weird, unsatisfying dream.

                 When he found out that this time, EXO would be promoting together, he was ecstatic. Even though his lines were as scarce as ever, he knew that he could at least show his personality in Korea. At least he could read all the ty signs on the street, and know what was going on a day to day basis. For this, Minseok was grateful to SM for once. He had been bitter after debut when in China because he felt so lost, but he could see that the company was really trying to improve the group and the members as well.

                Luhan had always been a daily part of Minseok’s life, but now he was a large portion of it. Luhan was usually the first person he saw in the morning (unless Tao was being clingy the night before and snuck into his bed) and the last one at night. While he loved being around the other members, Minseok was only human. He could only take so much of Sehun’s bratty behavior, or Tao being more of a girl than Chanyeol’s sister. There was only so much of Kris that could be taken seriously, and Chanyeol and Baekhyun were just too weird to even need to be mentioned. Kyungsoo was pretty much in the same boat as him, having Kai and the other K members treat him like their own personal teddy bear, or chef when they were hungry. However, Luhan was just someone he could be with.

                Luhan was easy to hang out with. Minseok never got a headache from being around him, and never needed a break for a few minutes. Despite Minseok’s introverted ways, he didn’t mind being with Luhan a lot. In fact, it was more calming than not a lot of the time.

                After months of training, EXO was ready to promote as a whole all over the world. The comeback stage went fantastic. The fans were so excited about the new performance, and the boys were practically high off of adrenaline. Not only that, but Luhan was holding onto Minseok in the best way. The night couldn’t have gone better.

                Back at the dorm after an exhausting day of schedules, no one really talked. Some of the members headed straight to bed, but Minseok needed a glass of water and some mindless TV in order to settle down for the night. Luhan took his spot next to Minseok, gently brushing their thighs together. Minseok leaned onto the taller, and shut his eyes. He felt Luhan tense for a second before relaxing and putting his arm around the older. They sat like this till all of the other members excused them for the night. Eventually, Minseok knew he needed to go to sleep. He brought his face up to Luhan’s ear. Lips brushing the other, he whispered good night before not-so-gracefully heading to bed. He didn’t look back at Luhan, but by the sound of this harsh exhale, he thinks his actions gained the result he wanted.

                As the weeks passed, Luhan had become more and more obvious.  Minseok knew the other was having more than friendly thoughts about him, but he didn’t really mind. He really liked Luhan. Luhan was even grabbier than normal, which was a feat in itself. He was more obvious with his eagerness to see Minseok as well. The man normally could keep a straight face, but suddenly whenever Minseok walked up, his expression would lighten. Really, figuring Luhan out wasn’t very hard.

                The only problem was that Minseok didn’t really know what to do with this information. He would not mind trying things out with Luhan at all. The thought of all the touching and hand holding meaning more than it did now was exciting, as well as the prospects of deeper intimacy. Luhan was so nice and caring. They had so many things in common as well. Plus, he was ing hot. But so what? What did all of that really mean for the two of them?

                Minseok was good at keeping his thoughts and feelings kept to himself. The others would never find out his feelings for Luhan if he didn’t want them to. He could just go on with his life and meet some nice Korean girl to settle down with. That sounded so much less… complicated than trying to start with another male who was also Chinese. Minseok’s family was not super traditional, but this still crossed two major lines that conservative Korea drew years ago.

                Sometimes, Minseok felt like he had it figured out. He was just going to ignore his thoughts and feelings. He could manage that. But then Luhan would do something adorable, or hold onto him in the best ways, and his mind would become a mess again. Luhan was like a temptation that he shouldn’t take, without knowing exactly why he was unreachable.

                It was one night after the Wolf promotions had ended. The company was busy with the combined needs of Super Junior for a new album, and TVXQ’s next tour. Not only that, but Girls Generation was in the midst of recording, Shinee was about to comeback, and f(x) was already promoting. At the moment, EXO was nowhere near the top of the priority list, so they were just keeping up regular training sessions.

                Minseok was sitting in his room alone for once when Luhan came in. The taller male quietly came up beside him, and joined him in bed. Luhan peeked at the book in Minseok’s hands before laying his head against the other’s shoulder. Luhan’s hands were holding onto Minseok’s ratty blue sweatshirt as he lay there, watching the Korean. Minseok didn’t know what was going on, but he wasn’t surprised. Luhan had been away from home for years now.  Minseok remembered his time promoting outside of the country. Even though those times were so much shorter than Luhan’s absence from his parents, he knew the feeling of loneliness.

                The shorter of the two let the other stay where he was. He quietly finished his page before getting ready to comfort Luhan. He placed his book on the night stand, and laid down. He hadn’t really thought of what to say, so he ended up just staring at the other. It was hard not to though. His face was just so nice. His innocent looking eyes, small nose and mouth. Everything about Luhan’s face was perfect. He became so lost in the Chinese man’s eyes that he didn’t recognize what was going on. It wasn’t until too late that he realized he had kissed Luhan.

                It felt so good though. It felt like the most perfect thing he could be doing was leaving the little sweet kisses on the other man’s lips like he was. It felt even better when Luhan pulled him in for one longer. Minseok became so transfixed on Luhan in that moment. Everything was Luhan. Luhan was all around him, and the only thing that mattered.

                Eventually, the two pulled apart. They just stayed there for the first few minutes, just catching their breathe and staring at the other. Neither really knew what to say.

                “Um…,” Luhan started. “I really like you Minsoekkie. You mean so much to me, and you’re really special, and super smart, and really cute without even trying and—“ Minseok didn’t let him finish, instead going in for another kiss. This one was long, but sweet and left both of them wanting more.

                “You’re cute” Minseok told Luhan between kisses. Luhan’s eyes were wide. That probably not the exact answer he was looking for, but not bad either.

                “So does this mean anything?” Luhan asked breathlessly.

                “I think it does. Does it to you?” Minseok asked, already knowing the answer. Luhan stumbled out a ‘yes’ before kissing Minseok more deeply.

                Neither of them are stupid. They know that whatever they have can’t be considered a normal relationship, and it probably won’t until they have more freedoms from the company. But they are both happy for the stolen moments alone they get, and still being able to sing. One day, they will really become a couple and will do real couple things, but the time for that isn’t anytime soon. So right now they would settle for their not-relationship, and be grateful for whatever time they do get together. they wouldn't call what they have love, but they could see that in the future.

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AAAAnd a little later than I intended but here it is! honestly, I'm not totally happy with this, but it's alright.

I have no ideas for anything else to write, but I do want to do some! If someone wants to give me an idea, or co-author a story together, I might be interested!

Even if not, please tell me what you think! I was trying to let Minseok's personality shine through more real than in He's Special because I don't see him saying the mushy crap I made luhan say.