Heung-soo’s mother stands in the doorway and Nam-soon lingers next to her; he keeps his eyes fixed on the floor.  She appears frail and her eyes are red and swollen from crying.  She looks helplessly at the son lying still on his back in the hospital bed and shakes her head.  She turns to leave, dismissing the tall, thin boy next to her who bows a goodbye. 

Nam-soon walks back into the room and sits heavily in the chair next to the bed.  He re-arranges the pile of colorful, well-worn comic books he brought into two neat stacks by his chair. 

Heung-soo is still asleep.  Nam-soon looks over him, allowing his eyes to wander on the long limbs, one of which is now thick with a heavy caste.  Without thinking, he reaches out and runs a hand over the rough surface.  Heung-soo stirs.

Their eyes lock for a time, no words are spoken.  Heung-soo struggles to sit up; Nam-soon jumps up and adjusts the pillows under him, unsure of what to do.  Heung-soo notices the trembling in Nam-soon’s hands, the circles under his eyes... He hasn't slept.  His eyes cloud with emotion.

“What took you so long?” The anger in Heung-soo’s voice breaks the frigid calm.

“Why did you walk away?  Last night.  Why the did you walk away??” 

Nam-soon slumps in the chair.  The laden silence drags and crawls like a snail.  Heung-soo watches with impatience as the squirming boy wrings his fingers and avoids his gaze.

“I sat here and watched you turn around… You can’t imagine the things that ran through my head last night...” Heung-soo’s eyes redden.  “I kept wishing I could get up from this bed… so I can chase you down and give you a good ing taste of what you gave me…” the words catch in his throat.

“I can take anything... you know that.  You know I can ing take anything.  But to think that you… that you were the one to do this.    That you could do this to me... After everything.. ”

He stops short when Nam-soon drops to his knees and buries his wet chin in his chest. 

“It is so stupid to say it now, I know.  But I am sorry.  I am so sorry… I deserve anything you want to put on me.. do the same to me.   I didn’t mean for it to go that way… I don’t know why I didn’t stop.  I should’ve stopped…”  Heung-soo seems to hold his breath, his face wooden, as Nam-soon fumbles and trips over his words.

“It was a mistake.  I ed up...  and I am sorry.   I didn’t mean to..  Just let me stay here.. Let me stay..”  The words are a blur, yet they fall like a sharp rain on Heung-soo’s skin. 

His eyes water when Nam-soon grabs onto his hand and holds it fast in both of his. 

His heart breaks when his eyes fall on his aching leg, heavy and motionless between them.

His tears fall when he sees his best friend cower on his knees, his nose running and his face wet with tears. 

His chest swells when he feels an overpowering desire, an overwhelming wish to obliterate this moment… to reach back in time; to replace this moment with one of many carefree times, when they showed no fear, watched each others’ backs and laughed off their scrapes.

It cuts deep to see Nam-soon like this.

His pain cracks when, for the first time in his life, he feels terrified to see his best friend drift further out than he’d ever imagined possible.

His anger ebbs when he rides the sudden wave of relief that crashes and washes over him – He is here.  He is here now.

Heung-soo leans back into the pillows, his hand still trapped in Nam-soon’s…  And for the first time since that dreadful night, he feels a slight tinge of solace.  Nam-soon’s eyes seek and hold his, his gaze revealing and unflinching…

*** ***  *** ***

Heung-soo opened his eyes slowly and looked around the dimly-lit room.  All was quiet but for the sound of a beeping machine and a humidifier coughing up mist in the background.  His sister had fallen asleep in an uncomfortable position in the stiff chair at the foot of the bed.  His mother was not there, she must’ve gone home already.  His bed creaked as his tried to sit up; his sister yawned and woke up.

“You should go home and get some rest.”

She ignored him and switched on a dull lamp in the corner of the room.

“Do you need some water?  Can I get you anything?” she hovered by his bedside.

“Just go home and get some sleep.  You’ll twist your neck if you fall asleep in that chair one more time.  Just go home..” he managed a weak smile.

“Okay.  But I’ll be back in a few hours.. Before I head to class.”

He tried to argue, she told him to shut up.  She re-filled the glass of water on the bedside table and gathered up her things.  As she was heading for the door, he stopped her.

“When did he leave?”

“Who?”

“Go Nam-soon.  When did he leave?”

“I’ve been here all day, and he hasn't made an appearance.  Like he would dare show his face here.  How could he?  Of all people… how could he?!..”

“He wasn’t here?  Today?  He wasn't here today?” his voice began to crack.  He leaned over to check the foot of the bed, in search of the twin stacks of comic books – there were none.

She sighed and dropped the bags in her hands.  She pulled up the blankets he had pushed aside, as if to urge him to be quiet and get more sleep.

“You were medicated all day.  You slept a lot.  Mom was here till about two hours ago before she had to leave.  We are the only two who have been here.  The last person I want to see or hear about is that kid, Go Nam-soon… and if he ever shows his face here, I will pour a bucket of salt on his head.”  She continued to fuss with the blankets; he laid there unmoving.  “Try to get back to sleep.  I’ll be back soon.”

Heung-soo did not know when she left the room.  He laid still and stared out the window onto the empty street; his tears began to pool.  His chest pulled taut and his head felt foggy.  The harsh reality of his dream hit like a hurricane.