I wake up still absorbed by my last night thoughts. It is killing me.

 

"Will i live like this forever? A disgusting loner in a huge house." i say to myself in the morning while holding tight Hoya's lost t-shirt. I miss him and i will always do, no matter what. It feels just like i lost my soul, a part of me. I can't hope he will come back anymore, because it wouldn't be true anyway. A life like this, no one wants it, but it says that only the ones who deserve it gain it. I guess i did something wrong, having him.. 

 

The room smells like coffee now, the smell it used to have every morning.

I drink it slowly, savouring the taste and the memories. I get up and dress formally, the way i dress to go work.

 

I walk on the silent street alone, thinking about everything. It's raining again, and i miss him so much. 

The street is darker than usual. It's supposed to be happy and noisy, in the times i now call fairy tails. 

 

I finally get to my job, sleepless and still trying to walk properly. The days pass slower and slower without any fun, not a smile. Without any friends who cheer you  up, its hard to survive.

 

I am not feeling, my head is killing me. I took a day off, like most of my days. I wonder what my death will be like.

 

As i walk on the street towards my house, i feel like my legs couldn't hold me anymore. 

"I've turned weak" i sigh and sit on a bench while the rain falls on my nice clothes. 

 

"You had.. that's why i am back to help my baby" a familiar voice says from behind. A voice that brings back such moments, a husky voice. 

"Ho.. Howw.. Howo-" the man kisses my lips passionately before even letting me finish.

"I've done the worst, to me, to  you, to us.. And i regret it" he stares into my eyes with embarrassment,  "I don't even know why i lied to my love, i missed you, i can't live without you" Hoya said while our sweet memories kept replaying in my head.

"I can't... i don't understand, how and why, tell me Howon!", just by saying his name, my heart started pumping faster. 

"I had to lie.. I was obligated to go to the Army." he says while facing the ground, "It would have hurt me more if i saw you missing me during this years, but now i think the pain is different".

"Hoya~ Why didn't you tell me?!" i yell at my beloved as a tear falls on my red, cold face.

He stands up, wipes my tear and caresses my cheek, "I didn't want to hurt you" he holds me tight into his chest while whispering my ear, "Would you forgive my retarded self?" he chuckles. 

"I will... i missed your hugs" i try not to cry again but i can hardly hold it.

"Don't hold in, cry babe.. I know it's my fault" he whispers again.

There's a silence going between us again, but a sweet loving one, until i decide to ruin in with something sweeter.

"I LOVE YOU LEE HOWON!" i yell and burst out crying.

 

We both were standing up on the street, in the rain, talking about the past, the present and the future. It reminded me of the day we broke up, but this time, the tears of joy are back.

 

"I love you too..", he gathers his courage "I've.. uhmm.. i've always.. DREAMED OF THIS MOMENT SINCE WE STARTED DATING" he kneels down in front of me and says "Song Ahri, would you.. uhmm, marry me?"

"...Yes" still trying to wake up from my dream.

He gives me a sweet smile of his and kisses my lips.

 

 

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Moral of the story: Never give up on hoping? i guess <3