Not wanting to run into Chansung in mid-change, feeling like that was something personal and private, he waited for the tiger to stick his snout through the kitchen door in search of food. But no matter how long he waited, that pretty little nose was nowhere to be seen. He had been convinced he would come, no tiger could resist the strong smell of bacon that by now had filled the whole cabin. Disappointment setting in, he decided to go check on him.

After searching every nook and corner, starting to worry that he had actually left without saying goodbye, he found him his behind under an old cupboard. Classy. As he approached, the cub turned to face the wall, not giving him the time of day. He reached out his hand to pet him, but before he could, the pup stood up and moved out of reach. Completely ignoring him, he passed him, disappearing under the sofa. Come on, it couldn't be? Was he seriously angry at him? Chansung had said that they shared their emotions, feeling what the other had felt regardless of form. But this was ridiculous. A moping tiger, how surreal!

Chan-tiger had squeezed himself so far under the sofa that there was no easy way of getting him out of there. He did not look comfortable. Nichkhun just hoped he hadn't gotten himself stuck. That was one problem they didn't need, they already had plenty to deal with. “Ha ha!” just then he got an idea. If there was something no tiger could resist...

He hurried to the kitchen, putting a raw steak on a fork, bringing it back to the living room. He dangled it in front of the bottom of the sofa. It didn't take more than two seconds before the sound of tiny claws against the hardwood floor could be heard, if one listened closely. He lured him all the way into the kitchen, and by the time the cub sank his teeth into the tender piece of meat that he had been craving, he had forgotten all about his grumpiness. Once it was up, the only thought on his mind was 'More, more!'. And more he got. Together they ate a week supply of food, both their bellies sticking out with happy satisfaction.

Nichkhun got comfortable in one of the comfy-chairs in the living room, snuggling under a warm blanket. Tiger-chan didn't waste any time, jumping on top of him, not resting until he had gotten him to pet him high and low. “Now you like me? Huh? Aigoo, Chansung is so not going to be happy with you, little betrayer. One slice of meat and your loyalties are swayed..” Nichkhun chuckled. The little cutie had closed his eyes as he gave him a good scratch behind the ears, purring loudly.

The smile that had visited Nichkhun's lips didn't stay for long. He felt awful for how he had left it with Chansung. The guilt gnawed at him. Chansung had laid all his cards on the table, trusting him with his purring secret. So why couldn't Nichkhun repay him the favor by trusting him back, why had he stuffed all his cards up his sleeve, hiding them in plain sight?

“It's true. I lied. “ he said out loud, more to himself than to the tiger that had fallen asleep on his lap. He couldn't hold it in any longer, he started spilling his heart out. “I know I . I so bad. I'm sorry.” he began. It was a pointless apology, since there was no one to hear it, but it still made him feel a little bit better.

“Why does everyone lie through their teeth like that? Like it's some normal natural thing?” Nichkhun asked the air, not holding his breath for an answer. It was odd though. Everyone lied. And not once in a while or every so often, but every single day, constantly. He had no idea how many lies he told in the course of a day, but he was sure he needed more than the fingers of both his hands to count them. How was this acceptable behavior, getting lies thrown in your face everywhere you looked? It was just a white lie, people told themselves. But was there such a thing as just a white lie? What was a white lie other than a lie? Did the color really matter all that much? Sure, officially white lies were told to protect the feelings of the other party, but that was rarely the case. Usually that was just an excuse people used so they could feel better about themselves as they saved their own skin.

Nichkhun hadn't only lied to Chansung and to the world, he had also lied to himself. Most of the lies he told were to himself. Who the hell was he protecting? What was he protecting and why? Because he sure wasn't doing himself any favors. It wasn't like he was very happy with his life at the current moment. Under the pretension of protecting everyone, he had managed to hurt every single person he held dear. “Good job, Nichkhun, good job.” he mumbled. He mentally shook his own hand as a cynical congratulations.

Not knowing if he would have the guts tomorrow, he looked at the sleeping tiger, imagining it was Chansung. “I'm sorry, I'm a coward. I should have told you the truth. Told you that even though I've been taught my whole life that it's wrong, I'm extremely attracted to you. So much so that every time you enter my personal space, my whole body goes on alert. It's like all my senses are heightened, yet all they sense is you.”. The knot in his stomach got bigger at the sound of his own voice being honest for once. “I wanted to kiss you.. earlier.. I wanted to kiss you so bad that it physically hurt..” his voice broke. He was conjuring up an emotional storm inside of himself and he wasn't sure if he would survive getting caught in it.

He decided that since he was being honest to Chansung, he should use the opportunity to be honest to himself as well. “I.. I think I might be gay..”. There. He said it. The word he had spent his whole life fearing. The word that had lead him to live his entire life on the run, boarding up his heart, blocking every entrance, trying to prevent it from entering, trying to stay one step ahead. But it had all been for nothing. No matter how hard he ran, he could never outrun himself.