Dizzy

Chaniger

 

Nichkhun was running out of air, holding his breath as he tried to keep his head steady, keep it from crossing the space between them that now measured no more than a hair's breadth. Their noses were almost touching, the air between them filled with static electricity. Nichkhun was worried that soon sparks would be flying, that if they were to touch, something would catch on fire. He had never in his life felt such a strong urge to kiss someone. It was like he wasn't in control anymore, battling his body so it wouldn't do something inappropriate. He thought kissing was something you decided on doing. Yes, it was pleasant and sometimes he was very much in the mood for it, but if need be, he could go without it. If it wasn't the right time, then it wasn't the right time. No big deal.

Except now it was different. Now it was a big deal, a very big deal. It was like he had suddenly turned to steel and Chansung's lips were the most powerful magnets on the planet, pulling him in regardless of how he felt about it. Closer, still closer. He could feel Chansung's warm breath every time it escaped his lips. He breathed it in. It smelled sweet, like muffins. It piqued his curiosity. He wanted to know if he also tasted like muffins. Sweet, warm muffins.

He tried to control his breathing, but it was like the oxygen had been out of the air, his body gasping for the last remaining particles. He felt dizzy. He wanted to close his eyes and lean forwards, hoping to fall into Chansung's strong arms. Would he welcome him? If Nichkhun were to place a soft little kiss on his neck, what would his reaction be? Would he be appalled, storming out of the cabin while calling him a freak? No, that wasn't Chansung. Besides, he knew he had at least kissed a guy before, who knew what else, so the fact that he was a guy wouldn't be enough to drive him away. However, just being of the right wasn't enough. Being gay didn't mean that you wanted to jump every guy that passed you by.

 

Nichkhun bit the inner part of his lower lip, trying to decide if he should take the leap or not. If he tried to kiss him and he rejected him, he wasn't sure he would be able to survive the embarrassment. Somehow he knew Chansung wouldn't blame him, that he would let him down easy. But it wasn't his reaction that he was most worried about. It was his own reaction he feared. It took so much courage for him to even think about leaving his lifelong hiding place. What if he took a step into the light, only to find nothing but darkness? Would he ever dare venture out again? He didn't want to be stuck in here forever. The air had turned stale, the walls starting to close in on him. He wanted out, he knew he wanted out, but he was paralyzed by fear.

So this was what a crush felt like, he thought. Being unexplainably bashful in its presence. Wanting to do everything, but daring to do nothing. Feeling like the fate of the whole world was riding on this one moment, even though he knew very well that no matter what happened, the Earth would still keep spinning, the sun would still keep shining.

 

Chansung ran his fingers gently down the length of his arm, making each and every hair on Nichkhun's body stand on end, goose bumps everywhere. As their fingers interlocked, sending continuous waves of electricity up his arm, a flicker of surprise visited Chansung's face. Only for a split second and then it was gone.

 

“Is this doing anything for you?” Chansung whispered as he looked straight in his eyes. Nichkhun had a hard time finding his voice to answer. He swallowed multiple times, trying to get rid of the lump that was blocking his airway. He cleared his throat awkwardly, breaking eye-contact.

“No. Nothing at all.” he said quietly, regretting it as soon as the last word had left his lips. Chansung backed off immediately, leaving an invisible void where he had stood. It felt lonely, so very lonely. He wanted to take it back. He wanted to feel his warmth again. He wanted to tell him how he made his skin tingle, and his heart dance. He wanted to tell him that even though they had only known each other for the briefest of moments, he had never felt as close to anyone as he did to him. Why hadn't he had the courage to kiss him? It had been the perfect moment, and such moments were hard to come by. But it was gone. He had pushed it away, pushed him away, like he pushed everything and everyone away. It had become a habit, and habits were hard to break.

 

“Well.. that's how you know.” Chansung said dryly without giving him a second look, grabbing some more muffins on his way to the table, nibbling at one listlessly as he sat down. It looked like he was getting a tummy ache from the mountain of crap he had inhaled. There was only so many muffins the human body could take before objecting to the whole lot of them.

Nichkhun returned to the stove, his hand shaking as he grabbed the pan. His heartbeat was still irregular, making him feel uncomfortable, nervous. Had all that electricity that had been exchanged between them messed up his heart's rhythm. What if his heart could never find its former groove again? What if it was starting to depend on the jolts Chansung's touch gave it, unable to beat properly without them? What if it had chosen Chansung as its pacemaker and Chansung wasn't around anymore?

 

It was quiet. Too quiet. The sound of the frying bacon was driving him crazy, growing louder and louder as he wondered how to break the silence. Chansung hadn't said a word since he had sat down. He was playing with one of the muffins, not eating even a crumble. It was getting to the point where he couldn't stand it any longer, he had to say something. But what? He could feel the silence winding around his neck like a noose, growing tighter and tighter.

“So! Are you in the mood for scrambled eggs or the sunny side up?” Nichkhun asked overly brightly, trying to force the atmosphere to lighten up. Chansung just shrugged. What was with him? He turned the stove off, putting the pan down. “Are you okay? Did the muffin mountain give you a tummy ache? I told you eating too many of those would lead to no good..” he said worried. He didn't know if he was imagining it or if Chansung had turned even paler than he usually was. Whatever it was, it wasn't good.

 

Chansung let out a loud breath, finally looking up from the muffin he was murdering. There was hurt in his eyes, his whole face in a frown. “I thought you were different.. that you weren't like the others...” he said, his voice shaking. “What? Different how? Others who?” Nichkhun had no idea what he was talking about or what he was accusing him of, but it was clear by the way Chansung was staring at him, that he was the culprit.

“When you found out I was the tiger, you didn't yell or throw a fit, you didn't run away or kick me out, you even bought me food.. and.. you treat me like.. .like I'm a person too.” Chansung started explaining a little hesitantly in a thin voice. “But... but you lied! Why does everyone always lie?!” he added in a much stronger voice, his face growing even sadder.

“I lied? When did I lie?” Nichkhun reacted, feeling wronged. He didn't remember telling him a single untrue word since he had found him on his doorstep last night. Chansung's expression hardened, “Just now.”. He folded his arms and started a hostile staring contest with Nichkhun. His stare hit Nichkhun's heart right in the middle, just like a cue hitting a billiard ball, making it bounce aimlessly from one side to the other, the ball disappointing the player by missing the target hole, incapable of doing anything except spinning dizzily.

 

Nichkhun felt like he had been caught in the act, yet he hadn't really done anything wrong. He had a feeling where this was going and it scared the living daylights out of him. “What do you mean?” he inquired carefully, clenching his teeth.

 

“Check your pants, then you'll know what I mean.” Chansung spat at him annoyed.

 

Nichkhun turned as pale as a ghost. His hunch had been right. He hadn't managed to hide as thoroughly as he had thought. Chansung had felt it. The ultimate proof. He had lied. He had lied through his teeth. But his body had told the truth all along, exposing him for the coward that he was.

 

“I.. I.. “ he had no idea how to respond. But right then the expression on Chansung's face changed drastically, like he had been caught off guard. “Oh!” he exclaimed, running out of the kitchen. Nichkhun glanced out the window, catching the last ray of light as the setting sun declared that today was no more. Today had turned into tonight, which meant that Chansung was turning into Chaniger. He sighed, feeling bad over how they had left things. But what could he have said to make it better? Maybe it had been the perfect timing for tiger-chan to appear, buying him time to think of something to say, to find some way to safe face.  

 

 

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A/N: To those that are still reading, thanks for your endless patience! ♥ It was never my intention to take such a long, long break, it just ended up that way for many reasons. I have the next chapter already written and I'm working on the rest, so hopefully I will update a little more frequently now kkk >.< 

To new readers, welcome! *^^*

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Comments

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brat2104 #1
Chapter 12: Love this story... So cute and simple.
babikhun
#2
how I miss this<3 <3 <3
thank you so much for taking the time to write it and finishing it, I still haven‘t read the update, I think I‘ll reread from the start to remind myself of cute tiger channie, hope it‘s a happy ending though :)
SehunPony22 #3
This seems like such an interesting story!Glad I stumbled over this,and I can't wait to read this :D
-Yuan-
#4
Chapter 11: UPDATE *_________________________________________________*
okay that’s not a very creative comment but I'm actually heading to bed and only will read the update then, but already wanted to show you my appreciation for it.
I'm super excited and also thankful for the present.
and also the congratulation wishes !♥ ♥ ♥
babikhun
#5
Chapter 11: thank you so much for making my night with this update... I hope they can live happily away from the world...

thanks again and take your time to update, I really don‘t want it to end so soon
Muffin_xox
#6
Chapter 10: I am crying ×_× poor chunnie plz make it a happy story ... and plz update
babikhun
#7
Chapter 10: poor channie, feel sorry for him, I hope khun can make the idea of having their own world true. Love the update <3 thank you :)