Leo’s POV

How to break an Idol’s heart? It’s easy. All you have to do is to avoid him, keep up with the silent treatment, and try not to bump with each other most of the time even though you have to take extra care and effort for the other members and the manager not to read your moves. Don’t talk to him as much as possible. Avoid eye-contact. Don’t laugh with his jokes. Don’t mention his name. Don’t even try to look at him because I know Ken is a poison, a very dangerous and contagious one to put it simply.

Ken is a virus. Ken is a parasite. Ken is a drug but don’t you ever intake Ken because you don’t want a Lion carve your heart out. I could possibly eat a human for dinner. I'm on a diet right now but I can still eat meat.

Ken is annoying. Ken is very nosy and noisy especially when N’s around with him. Ken is full of hype flowing all through his veins. Ken is a lot of things but there’s one thing Ken will never be and that is…

…Loving me.

I don’t know. But I feel like it’s only a one-sided love for me.

It should be the other way around. You know, I breaking his heart. But I never thought that I would be the one to fall in the gooeyness of pink frozen hot lava called love. I miscalculated the timing, the place and where that stupid cupid will hit me right straight to my . It just happened so fast at first I thought I was having a very high fever but those red cheeks were not from having a fever but from Ken being so idiotically cute in front of me all of a sudden. On the spot, my cheeks reddened and I totally forgot I was together with my members. Thankfully, they didn’t saw my blushed cheeks because if not, they would ask me the question ‘why’ for all eternity.

I didn’t plan for this to happen to me. I thought I was just sick. I thought I was just having hallucinations when I started to think about me and Ken together in, not one but too many scenes inside my head, sometimes short scenes and some others with four or more than I could recall.

Yeah. I am going crazy. I am obviously getting close to being delusional. I’m starting to think about Ken non-stop. I could barely think of any other things aside from my stupid brain thinking about Ken for every second of every minute of every day. I don’t know what exactly my problem is but I hate feeling this kind of feelings inside of me. I don’t want to feel like this! I am not supposed to fall for Ken’s stupid but cute charms!

Why so? Ken is lovable and cute and friendly and jolly and cute and handsome and sweet and caring and cute and cheerful and jumpy and nosy and—God! I have enough of Ken already! Just please let my heart and my mind rest for a bit! I beg of you.

Damn. Of course, it didn’t work. Ken’s minions are still invading inside of me and flowing all over my veins. This isn’t getting any good. I am getting nowhere with this so-called hiding from the sun kind of escape I put up with myself. It’s like I’m strangling myself to death.

It is starting to suffocate me for not telling anyone my true feelings. I am trying hard to breathe normally so that nobody will ever ask me anything I could get myself into trouble. It was really hard to breathe knowing that the one your heart beats for is just near you, beside you, so close to touch but you could never do anything other than just stand there with a poker face and show the world that I am not hurting inside.

I remembered one incident when my heart almost burst out from its cage after shooting a VIXX TV episode. I don’t think it even aired. I already forgot which episode it was supposed to be because I’m not telling anyone about this. They might call me crazy.

I purposely sit on the black couch inside our dorm to get away from Ken who settled seating on the floor with Ravi, also a troublesome dongsaeng of mine. I was obviously not paying any attention to what N was saying in front of the camera because my eyes are darting to where Ken was seating beside Ravi who were also beside N on his right.

They were having fun all by themselves. It looks like to me they were flirting with each other. If my eyes were the same as Cyclops, Ravi would be burned down by now. And damn Ken! He looks like he was enjoying Ravi tickling him too much the wrinkles on the sides of his eyes are showing aggressively.

I took a deep breath to calm myself down a bit because I was feeling hot all of a sudden. I was burning inside and I feel like I want to throw up fireballs out from my mouth due to anger building up inside of me.

Just a little bit…just a little bit more…before I could kill N for talking too much in front of that stupid camera.

I heave another sigh.

Just a little bit more…just a little bit longer Taekwoon. You don’t want to pay for an expensive camera if you lose control and smash it to the floor. Relax. Take a deep breath. Inhale…ex—ex…Ex—damn it! I don’t have time for this!

I relentlessly shoved Ravi out of the way, pushing him towards N who was also shocked at my sudden tantrum. I walked out slamming the door of the bedroom hard making the other members gasped. I didn’t care if the others were also affected by my Ken-mood-swings. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t want to stay there while looking at the two making love in front of me.

See? That’s why I told you I hate it. I hate myself for getting jealous every single day, for being like a woman having a period whenever I get angry because of Ken; and for loving Ken so much it pains me to see myself hurting as well as hurting the other members due to my uncontrollable anger management.

What should I do to make it up? I absolutely have no idea how. I started to think about forgetting Ken but my heart just couldn’t. It wasn’t easy to fall in love as well as falling out of love. Just because I said to myself that I would forget Ken doesn’t mean my heart would follow my brain. God has given us always two options to choose from and it’s up to us what to choose between them. We may be torn in between those two choices but at the end of the day, we have to choose only one option to take. And I choose…

…not to forget.

I just need to restrain myself and make rules of the things I should do and what I shouldn’t do.

One of that each is to act naturally and hold it in as much as I could and the second is, not to go crazy and do crazy and stupid things whenever I get jealous, mad and make a fool out of myself because of Ken.

I rest my case.

XOXO

A/N: I'm not done with Ken's POV and i don't know if i'm going to post it or not so i'm going to mark it complete just in case.