Bitter cold bit into his winter skin and he realizes that love, for what it’s worth, is completely worthless when you don’t notice it at all.

The first time Woohyun meets Myungsoo, he does it on accident. He stumbles through the sliding glass doors and sighs, content with the warm heat that melts his skin. He pulls a shopping cart, filling it with necessities that will last him throughout the week. A new carton of milk, eggs, vegetables, some ribs and bacon, and of course, cup ramyun.

He’s a college student that is lucky enough to own his own apartment, but still, he’s far too busy to cook half the time. He was halfway down what he would like to call heaven, but it was just aisle six (cookies, chips, crackers, the sign reads), when he runs into someone, shopping cart smashing into another body as he was too preoccupied with finding Funions.

The person he runs into turns and rubs at his side, wrapped tightly in a black scarf and a long winter coat, hands holding a bag of Cheetos as he apologizes for being in the way. “No, no, it’s my fault. Sorry.” Woohyun mumbles before grabbing a bag of pretzels in haste to get away. He doesn’t meet the stranger’s eyes, doesn’t care for it, but regrets it when he’s at the checkout counter because he hates pretzels.

They do nothing good for him.

The second time, Woohyun was jogging along a park trail, early spring air still chilly, even with the blossoms already budding. Morning dew sticks onto the branches and drips carelessly, damp air cooling the air even more. Woohyun couldn’t help but shiver, speeding up to keep his body warm.

He passes a bench were a stranger sits at, only glancing at him through the corner of his eyes. The stranger was wrapped in a black scarf, in a dramatic long coat, a bit too heavy for just a slight chill. Around his neck was a strap, a camera (probably worth thousands of dollars) carelessly laid in his laps, hands gloved as he picks it up and snaps a picture of cloud formations.

Woohyun speeds up faster, EXID blasting through his earphones. He focuses his attention back the trail as a bike whizzes pass him.

Waiting at home for him, in his cabinet, was a stale bag of pretzels he never bothered opening.

Nam Woohyun really thinks that college life is miserable, with exams piling high on his schedules as summer begins to break in. Most everyone was busy, the professors thinking it’s a good idea to work together and suddenly give all their students pop quizzes with ridiculous essay questions.

Woohyun trudges back home, leather jacket biting into his skin as the sweet cool night air ruffles his hair as it sweeps the city. Bars are open and people were outside on decks, outdoor tables filled, and lights seemed to be decorating all the pubs as it blinks enthusiastically at him, inviting him in.

Woohyun walks pass all of it, choosing to go home instead of into one of the cute cafés, ordering himself a cup of something steaming just for the heck of it. He needs sleep, especially since tomorrow would be just as painful as today was. Finals were coming, and even if no one dared to speak of it, it’s one more week of last minute cramming and study sessions before they all are released out into the real world to fend on their own. No more homework, but real work instead.

Woohyun has passed many bars and pubs along the way, so this one was no different. He doesn’t notice that inside, there was a man, beanie covering his head, black jeans with dangling chains clanging together as he shifts, nervously waiting for someone who’ll never come. He doesn’t see what’s special about the bar, doesn’t feel inclined to go in, like all the movies had portrayed it. He just walks pass, noticing the bright strip of light that’s tangled around a tree nearby.

Woohyun throws the bag of pretzels away as soon as he gets home, tired of seeing it in his cabinet and the good by date has long expired.

Fall could be his favorite season; except he doesn’t have a favorite season because weather is weather and sometimes, it’s hot during winter and cold during summer and seasons just can’t prevent that.

Woohyun had been in charge of watching his niece for the day, taking her to a park and pushing her on the swing set until she spots her friends and off they went. Woohyun sits down on a bench and watch the two girls chase each other around, shrill laughter spilling into his ears.

Woohyun likes kids, they’re easy to understand. There are no complications with them, they demand what they want and express their feelings as they want. There was no mind to mouth filter, there are no practiced scenarios, or extreme expectations. It’s either you have or you don’t have, and Woohyun appreciates simplicity like that.

Woohyun notices a trail of smoke, gray and hazy and he spots a stranger leaning against the concrete wall separating the playground from the rest of the park. Woohyun watches his eyes as they trail a kid, a boy, probably a relative or something.

Woohyun notices the dangling chains from the stranger’s black jeans and his thin black tank top, but not much else. There was unruly long, black hair and bangs that covered half his face and Woohyun doesn’t pay much attention to him.

His niece is bounding up to him and asking if it was alright if he could take her friend and her to get ice cream and he grins and nods.

He was craving ice cream anyway.

Winter wasn’t a pleasant season, it was cold, it’s dirty, and it’s a hassle. Woohyun doesn’t like heavy clothes and coats, doesn’t like Christmas spirits and couples that are overly affectionate when the holiday comes around.  

Woohyun walks along the street to find presents for his family, he had gotten a necklace, something , moderately expensive for his eldest sister, a pair of designer shoes for his younger sister, and now he’s looking for something for his parents.

His mother liked antique china and his father loved baseball. He’s sure he could get his mom a new set of teacups, because she had been mentioning it a lot in their phone calls, and he guesses that’s what she wants. His father, like him, doesn’t find any joy in the holiday. He likes practical stuff, or anything baseball related. Woohyun would figure something out when he’s back at his apartment, when he isn’t freezing.

He goes down the escalator from the mall, the giant Christmas tree just to his right. Big, wrapped boxes sit under the tree and they’re probably empty, but couples still love taking pictures there anyway.

He notices a familiar camera strap but gets distracted by a display. They were selling baseball shirts and if he remembers correctly, his father likes the team with the red mascot. He hurries back up the escalator and purchases the shirt, asking the clerk to wrap it.

When he gets to the lobby, the tree was surrounded by couples and the man had disappeared. He forgets about him as soon as he walks into the shop where they sell cups and other expensive china.

He goes back home that day, his mom had called him and said they were having a family dinner. He was lucky there were still stuff left in the department store, considering that everything should’ve been bought by desperate last minute shoppers like himself.

His mom kisses him on the cheeks and asks him to set the table. Their family dog comes bounding up to him, tail wagging happily, tongue lolled out, probably drooling at all the food on the table. “Give Happy a treat; I bought him so biscuits the other day.” His mother calls from the kitchen.

He walks in and she hands him something that oddly resembles a pretzel. “It’s cute, isn’t it?” She asks before going back to piling food on the dishes.

He meets Myungsoo through work. Woohyun works in a small law firm, said law firm was owned by Myungsoo’s father. They act as if they’ve met for the first time and Woohyun takes no interest in Myungsoo, and it seems Myungsoo doesn’t care for him either.

Long metal chains hang from his hips as he walks, long coat hung on the rack, scarf still wrapped tightly around his neck. A photographer, he had been, a disappointment, his father says instead. Woohyun only ever nods in greetings and exchange useless chats if they happen to meet in the elevator.

Spring air was chilly and Myungsoo has his works printed all over the firm’s walls, beautiful pictures of skies and grass and nature and things of every day life.

“He’s a disappointment,” Mr. Kim says, “but he’s enough for lil’ old me.”

Woohyun gets transferred to a bigger firm come next fall, summer having been spent in a heated office, the air conditioning had broken and they were on a very long waiting list to get it fixed.

The highlight of his summer were little visits from his niece, Danni, as she dances around the room and tells him she wants to be a ballet dancer when she grows up. He picks her up and takes her to ballet class during the summer because the firm let him have lunch near the same time her summer school lets out. They eat lunch together and he drives her to class before going back to the firm, always watching her warm up before he leaves.

She’s very flexible; she bends and twists like it’s no problem at all. Woohyun couldn’t possibly do half the things she can, and he was a dancer himself when he was young.

With two sisters, Woohyun finds himself being dragged to whatever they were doing, and he found himself enjoying it just as much as they had. He still remembers how it felt when he leaped and landed on the tip of his toes, his back bent backwards, hands poised above his head gracefully, pausing for just a moment before spinning off and twirling a few thousand times.

A child never feels dizzy, he remembers twirling endlessly as his mother claps on the sideline, excited. His sisters weren’t half as good as he was, but he gave up years before them because of the constant teasing the other boys gave him.

Woohyun still loves to dance. Summer is love.

If summer was love, autumn was hectic. He had been transferred to a bigger firm, which meant there were more cases he had to take on and he had been behind on his paperwork.

With five minutes before he has to go to court, Woohyun is driving past the park without sparring a second glance to the beautiful yellowing leaves. He also doesn’t notice Myungsoo decked in black, doesn’t feel the need to slow down, he just knows quickquickquick.

With the leaves spiraling to the ground with the grace he once held on the tips of his toes, Woohyun steps on the gas pedal and hopes that he isn’t too late. He hadn’t even had time to review the case, and once he got to the courthouse, he realizes that the session had been postponed to after lunch time because the prosecutor needed time to reanalyze data.

He drives back to the firm, this time he looks out the window at the orange leaves when the lights turn red. He sees a flash of black until it’s all gone, just dead leaves splayed across the dying grass. The lights flicker green and he rides off again, his days are busybusybusy and feelings won’t slow them down.

Winter was lonely, if anything. Summer is love, was love, autumn is hectic, was hectic, and winter is lonely.

He sees no black this year, just a normal family dinner as he plays with his nieces and his mother pesters him about bringing someone home. “You’ve spent your whole life alone, are you going to live that way forever?”

He was tempted to say yes, to see if it could break her. He’s feeling a bit antsy as of lately, his job is stressful, and his mother was right—he’s lonely.

“I just don’t have time.” He dejectedly pushes his food around.

“You always have time.” His mother chides, “you just never use it.”

His mother feeds Happy another pretzel treat. “He loves these.” Woohyun hates pretzels.

Spring was nothing. There was nothing about spring that made him hate it or love it. There were no fond childhood memories, no inexplicable feelings towards the season, no holidays that made him light and airy or moody.

Spring was just there and he doesn’t know what to do with it half the time. He moved firms again, moved cities, actually. There was something about Seoul that had always been a bit off.

He didn’t like the bustle or the hustle, even if it meets good business for the firms he’s worked at. He slowly settles into his new life, no one knew Nam Woohyun here. He was just another face amongst the crowd and he doesn’t stand out in anyway. Woohyun could live with that. He moved closer to his younger sister, who had just married beginning this spring. The newlywed couple is extremely unstable and many times, she had come to his apartment and cried on his shoulders, saying she’s made a mistake.  

They would make up a few days later, if not hours later. Woohyun is always worried about Soojung. She had always been so sweet and naïve and it just, he’s worried she really did fall for the wrong guy.

Woohyun watches as it thunders outside, his balcony door open as the rain splatters on the wooden planks of his floor. His curtains flutter uselessly in the wind, limp, as the rain continues and picks up its pace. It’ll end soon, and if Woohyun had to explain spring in one word, he would say spring is rain.

It thunders again, a loud crackle, and lightning flashes on the gray sky. There was a small strip of dirt down below, a makeshift garden for anyone who’s free enough to take on a pastime.

The air feels wet and damp, smells wet and damp, is wet and damp, and Woohyun finds himself thinking of black scarves, long winter coats, chains clicking together, and an expensive Canon T3 strapped around someone’s neck. He just doesn’t remember who, or how he knows this person, and Woohyun feels at peace sitting on the ground, balcony door open to let the rain splatter inside.

There’s a bag of pretzels lying on his coffee table, untouched. His sister had brought it with her to munch on when he came over the other day, telling him she’s pregnant. He had laughed and told her that’s great, but it wasn’t, because her husband is an and Woohyun shouldn’t let his sister go through this.

But he isn’t the ideal brother, isn’t one to stop love, and even if Soojung’s husband is an , she loves him.

Woohyun has never felt love before. He doesn’t want to ruin something that makes his sister so happy. (even if it’s for the best)

Bitter cold bites into his winter skin and he realizes that love, for what it’s worth, has its own way of doing things.

Woohyun meets Myungsoo again on a cold December day, doing last minute shopping in the mall. He’s back in Seoul for the week, visiting his family. His mother had told him if he didn’t come back, she’ll personally get Soojung to drag him back by the ear.

He doesn’t remember Myungsoo, only faintly, they never did meet often enough for Woohyun to understand Myungsoo.

Myungsoo hasn’t changed, but Woohyun doesn’t know that. There were chains around his dark denim jeans, a plaid shirt over his black tank top, a long coat folded at the crease of his elbows, a long red and black strap around his black scarf, a Canon T3 attached to it.

“Tree’s beautiful, isn’t it?” Myungsoo looks up to his voice, eyes crinkling into a smile.

“Yeah.”

Spring was rain, summer was love, autumn was hectic, and winter is lonely.

Woohyun changes it a few years later.

Spring was soft rain, summer was sunshine and love, autumn was busy beautiful, and winter is snowfall and no traces of loneliness.

a/n i cry i am sorry i had an urge to post something so here take this and leave me to flail on my own.

but yay sungyeol doesn't even get a cameo in this fic. i seriously am biased because all my fics somehow have sungyeol in it. i mean my exo fics have sungyeol in them. WHY SUNGYEOL GO AWAY NO ONE LIKES YOU AND YOUR SPEEDO GO AWAY YOU TAN PERSON UGH THE FEELS.

on another note, GUESS WHO'S GETTING A SIGNED SARA BAREILLES CD? THIS GIRL. THANK YOU WALMART. too bad i don't get the two extra bonus tracks. oh well.

anyway goodbye i have flailing to do and people to bother. night everyone and once again, sorry not sorry for this fic.