Mistake

I didn’t know that simply slipping during U-Kiss’s comeback would destroy their whole career. I didn’t know that the members I loved dearly, were all drifting apart before the incident. I didn’t even know that Soohyun, the kind leader he respected, had truthfully given up on U-Kiss a long time ago.

I just didn’t know.

And maybe, just maybe...that was why the group, U-Kiss, cease to exist.

Slip, fall

I could feel the blood pounding through me. I was dripping with hot sweat, breathing heavily. I could hear Kevin singing his part, he took a deep breath.

It’s my turn now.

I sang into the mic softly, letting my delicate voice ring throughout the audience. They clapped, they cheered; everything a good fan would do. I stepped backwards, letting Hoon move in front to sing his part. Little did I know, that would be my biggest mistake of his life.

A bright red light shined from the top of the stage, right into my eyes. Everything appeared white for a second; a second too long. When I stepped back, I was a beat behind. I stepped onto Hoon’s moving foot, tripping over it. I then fell onto the stage, head first. Everything went black. That was the last thing I could remember of that day.

The next memory I had was in the hospital.

Department

The members left. U-Kiss disbanded. People soon forgot about the group that was once known for being “Ubiquitous International Super Stars”. KissMes moved on to other groups, EXO...Infinite...VIXX. The group they had once admired and loved was gone, and so was their support.

Reason

Soohyun had said it was because U-Kiss was continuously failing, “We keep making new songs...albums...and what is it doing? Getting us nowhere.”

Kevin said maybe it was meant to happen, “Maybe...just maybe, we weren’t supposed to be a group. Maybe it was all a mistake...a big mistake...”

Eli blamed me. I can’t say I disagree with him. “It’s all your fault...all of it.”

Hoon believed in the beginning we weren’t going to get far since the member change. He was right. “To be able to survive in this market...you have to stay consistent. No changes. That will destroy you, like it destroyed us.”

AJ had lost interest in U-Kiss since his studying in America. “I didn’t want to be a rapper anymore, an artist. I think this was for the best.”

Dongho said if it wasn’t for his promoting on variety shows and dramas, we would have broken up years ago. “If it wasn’t for me, we would have been done for a long time ago.”

As for me...I just wanted to go back to the past. Back when we were all happy.

Present

So what am I doing now? I don’t even know. I tried photography. I tried modeling. I even tried auditioning again.

Nothing is worse than failing more than once.

And that is exactly what happened, I repeatedly failed. One after another. An endless circle of a repeating nightmare.

I am a failure.

A failure that couldn't even save the group I held dear to my heart.