I stood there carefully watching his almost exasperated expression. Girls, he said, are too hard to please. I could only sigh and secretly laugh as he tried hard to hide his impatience— anyway, that was the nth shop we’ve checked.

“Really… you must tell me what you want. I’m not a mind reader, you know?”

That was actually the third time he said that and for the third time too I said, “I know, Oppa that’s why I’m telling you to quit it.” I was actually half-dragging him when I noticed he was about to lead me to a lingerie shop. Probably, he didn’t notice it since he glowered at me for a bit until I spread my hand up to emphasize the name of the place.

“See what this is doing to me?”

He said again that I only laughed and explained, “I’m telling you, there’s nothing I want or I can’t exactly tell what I want right now. But I’m good, Oppa, don’t worry. You don’t need to get me anything.”

“But it’s for your birthday…”

“I know it is, but—“ Yes, he didn’t even wait for me to finish since he was in the next stall fishing some coats and jackets. I finally blew some air out and just stood there beside him. Truth be told, I was not making things hard for him—it was him who was doing that. Though, I couldn’t say it out loud because it would only make him feel disappointed. I smiled silly thinking what I actually wanted. If only he could take a minute to figure that out, I pouted to myself ready to knock his head for that one until he raised this ridiculously extravagant fleece coat.

“What do you think?”

The question was rather asked with a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. I almost gave in feeling sorry until the price tag caught my eyes, “Are you crazy!!!! Geez, that’s expensive!” I cried out hastily putting back the material on its place. “Let’s get out of here, fast!”

I was about to drag him out again but he remained steadfast. I stopped ready to make a point when I noticed his face. He looked at me like a little boy begging for another scoop of ice cream, like a little kitten asking back its precious toy, like a little puppy wanting to be hugged. I smiled catching his hand and gently gave it a tug, “You know what I want right now? It can’t be bought in any of these shops…”

“Then tell me where we can get that…”

“You don’t see the point, do you?” I shook my head while he gave me another confused look so I tapped his hand on mine, “This… you… me… right here… right now. Can you put a price to it? Bring it to some cashier and bag it?”

Oppa finally smiled! A toothy one so I continued, “No, right?” There’s something else I wanted to say, something I stopped myself from spelling out… something like, ‘Can I have you?’

“You Jashik!” he finally put his arm around me and playfully pulled me out of the shop.

“You like that, eh?” My joke was deliberately ignored when he stopped again and looked at me.

“But, seriously, there must be something I can buy you!”

I laughed while he scratched his head, “You really don’t give up?”

“Naaahhh…. Let’s go eat! I’m famished!”

It made me laugh. This silly guy, this silly person… but I’m sillier because it makes me happy just to stand beside him. To spend this kind of day with him despite all the odds we may face. He didn’t care and for the whole time I didn’t care either. It was a day to be ordinary, to feel like dreams are not chances. To be totally ignorant of the world around us.

“What are you thinking?”

He asked as we took our seats but I just shook my head. After we ordered, we sat there for a good deal of minutes, the restaurant was packed. The whole population must have gotten out of their hiding place just for today, but nobody minded us. It was good enough. My stomach suddenly felt sick, maybe I got too tired walking around, I was about to excuse myself to get something fast when he pulled out something from his bag. He pushed one in front of me and took another one out.

Two cartons of milk.

“I figured this would happen.”

He gave me that little boy wink and I smiled some more. That was just him, I could not say exactly but it was just him. The kind of love I must have dreamed of. The kind of love that gives you comfort… to just sit there and have everything that you want without even asking for it. But then again he’s love; it was those cartons of milk and more. Comfort and passion; a want and a need; all wrapped up in a pretty package.

Our food came later, in between our empty packages of milk and more or less nonsensical conversation. We laughed all the way to the train station, with hands entwined for the world to see. After all, we were just people making dreams and taking chances.

His train came sooner than mine but he just shrugged when I shooed him to take it claiming it was “too full anyway” (which wasn’t really true). Mine came a little later, he remained staring at me with one gentle smile and I mouthed a thank-you. Maybe Oppa was still a bit disappointed when I didn’t let him get me anything that a little later, as I snuggled deeper on my pillow, he sent a message, “Please, tell me what to give you.”

I stopped to think until I decided to just say it, “Okay, I do want something, but it doesn’t cost anything.”

“Okay! Okay! What is it?!”

I could only imagine his excited grin. “I want to take picture with you,” I modestly replied. Besides, what could be more valuable gift than that one thing I can easily put out and look at when I miss him?

“That’s it?”

“Yes.”

“Okay! I’ll take you somewhere nice where you can take our pictures to your heart’s content!”

“Great! Bring some milk!” I hit send and stared long at my phone. 

Sometimes people ponder on things which are superficial. They want things to be lavish especially for people which mean so much to them. Once in a while, perhaps, it’s good but then again love is not all that. To a giver, it probably means so much to give the best, but it would be more to a receiver. The mere thought, the little gesture, the tiny attempt to make someone happy… that’s love.

Oppa may have bought me that expensive fleece coat but my heart will always swell every time I would remember how he simply pushed that carton of milk for me to drink.

Love takes pleasure more in simplicity….

His presence…

And,

Love takes the littlest form….

It may even come in milk cartons.