“It’s currently eight-thirty-two on the twenty-first of April.” Taemin pulled the iPod back from the camera as he had done in every other video. “Kibum-hyung is at church with Siwon-hyung and whoever went with them, so we are left here to fend for ourselves as he prays.”

“That’s not how it is Minnie! We don’t need him for everything!” Jinki’s voice came from the kitchen, followed by a clatter of sorts. “I’m okay!”

“You have almost set the kitchen on fire twice this morning hyung, just give up.” Taemin smiled over his shoulder before turning back to the computer. “No one else can cook in here it seems. Hyung, you have to make sure they don’t starve, okay?”

“Taemin!”

“Jinki!” He whined back at the elder as he had been whined to, biting back his laughter as he did. “I’m filming my video for today! You keep interrupting!”

“Good!”

“Hyung!” Taemin was smiling though as he looked back at the camera. “I don’t know if I ever said this, but I got cleared to do three performances a month. No one else wants me to do them, but I want to, so I am. There’s one tomorrow that I’m part of. I’m not allowed to dance though… I can only sit in a chair by the stage and sing with them. Like when Jonghyun-hyung and Minho-hyung got hurt. It’s better than not performing at all though!” There was a thud from the kitchen followed by a groan and Taemin’s smile got bigger. “Hyung, I’m going to go make sure you are okay. By the time you see this, I hope you know how to walk without killing yourself. And ask someone to teach you how to cook.”

“I can hear you!”

“I know.” Taemin turned the camera off and spun around on the wood floor, standing in one motion. “Are you okay hyung?”

“Yeah…” He walked into the room to see the eldest sitting on the ground, a puddle by his foot. “I just slipped.”

“Were you trying to massacre the food?” Jinki immediately looked down at the ground as Taemin inspected the used-to-be fruits that were cut horribly. “Don’t you know how to cut an apple?”

“It’s harder than it looks… I tried though!” He stood and brushed himself off before looking at the maknae. “I’d liked to see you do better.”

“Trying doesn’t get you anywhere if you don’t do it right. And sure. It’s easy.” He grabbed one of the last apples and the knife from Jinki’s hand. “Watch and learn.” Turning the sink on with his arm, he ran the apple under the water to wash it before turning it off and moving over to the cutting board. After getting the peeling started, he stood there spinning the apple around in his hand and moving the knife until it was peeled in seconds and still in-tact.

“Wow… Where’d you learn that?” But Jinki was ignored as he put the apple down and began cutting little segments from it. In less than a minute, he had a little plate of apple.

Turning around holding it, he gave Jinki a smile and picked up two pieces, sticking one in his mouth and jamming the other into the eldest’s mouth before he could speak again. “What did I say?”

“Where’d you learn that?” Jinki repeated the question with a full mouth, chewing on the apple after he finished speaking.

“I learned it as a kid. My parents were never really around that much to make food for me and Taesun, so I learned how… My neighbor taught me how to cut apples properly after a butchered a bunch like you.” He smiled a little at the memories before his face darkened, remembering more recently with them. “I can teach you if you want… It’s simple once you know.” And so he did. For almost an hour, he stood there teaching his hyung how to properly prepare fruits. Never once did the sad look leave his eyes though, it was only covered up.

Taemin couldn’t help but smile when he saw the chair he got to sit in. Going along with their clothing concepts, the armchair looked like someone had thrown a patchwork quilt made by a five year old kid over it since none of the patterns matched. At least his clothes were simple then, since the stylists knew to not go too overboard. So sitting there with his black pants and purple shirt on the orange and green chair, he could laugh at how ridiculous they all looked. From his orange hat with a yellow puff on top to Jonghyun’s all-red-and-black plaid suit and Jinki’s pink jacket—he could laugh at it all. What are our stylists thinking?

A hand-held microphone was handed to him and he didn’t even bother hiding his left hand, reaching out for it and showing his neon-pink catheter cover that Kibum had picked out for him that day. Clasping the equipment as tightly as he could in his hand, he looked out at the crowd and gave a huge smile and wave. All the people out there returned it with a huge scream before he looked away. His earpiece buzzed to life, with tests and checks before a voice came through completely clear and speaking things that Taemin needed to listen to. “Dream Girl in 10… 9… 8…” This is it. Are you ready? “3… 2… 1…” The music came blasting through the stage and Taemin heard the screams of fans as the lights , showing the four standing on stage and him off on the side.

Never before had singing alone made him so tired, but Taemin made it through the one song without any problems and managed to get backstage and hand off his microphone before he let out even a single cough. And before any of the others raced over to him though, he waved them off and grabbed a waiting water bottle to calm his throat. “You okay Minnie?”

Kibum’s arm on his shoulders was the only thing holding Taemin down from jumping a foot in the air. In his fright, he choked on the water, launching another coughing fit. Only once he could breathe again did he look up at the diva with a glare that could kill. “Perfectly fine now that my lungs got a thorough cleaning.”

“I didn’t expect you to react like that!” Kibum helped him stand straighter as his chest began to ache from the coughs and everything else. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay…” Taemin tried to sound as forgiving as possible as the two started towards their dressing room. “I’m just not in the best of moods right now.”

“Why? Are you hurt? Do you feel sick?” It made him feel a little selfish of how worried Kibum was for him from the one statement.

“Just a little pain. Nothing unbearable. But why’d you come looking for me?” They stopped right outside the room as Kibum held Taemin’s shoulder to keep him back. “What’s wrong?”

“They want to do an interview with all of us. If you want to refuse, you can. But everyone’s already inside waiting for your answer.” He seemed almost afraid to tell the boy, but Taemin only shrugged.

“Sure. I’ll do it if you guys want to.”

“Well then…” Kibum seemed a little surprised with the answer and Taemin turned curious eyes to him.

“Were you… Did you expect me to say I wouldn’t do it? So that you wouldn’t have to?” The elder didn’t answer right away and Taemin first smiled, and then laughed when there was still no response. “You were!”

“I just didn’t know if you would want to talk about being sick or not… You don’t really say much to any of us about everything…” Kibum looked like he felt bad at first, looking down at the ground instead of at the youngest, but that changed as Taemin continued to laugh at him. “Yah! Stop laughing!”

“Why would you think I wouldn’t want to? Haven’t I been pretty open about being sick to the public?” Taemin reached for the doorknob now, but Kibum grabbed his hand, pulling the boy to face him again. “Hyung, let go… That hurts. Please…”

The grip on his wrist only tightened until Taemin looked up to Kibum, tears spilling from his eyes. A hard stare met his pain-filled gaze. “You tell me if you’ve been open about it or not. Not just to fans, but to all of us. We don’t even know half of what you are going through anymore and you refuse to talk about it until something forces you to! We wouldn’t even know you are sick if it wasn’t for that car ride the first time you had an attack!”

“Hyung, let go!” Taemin’s scream had the whole back stage area go silent; other bands even looked out through their doors to the two as Taemin stood a few steps away from Kibum now, clutching his red wrist.

Their door opened to reveal the other three standing there with worried faces, behind them, a camera from the show ready to film. Jinki looked between the two before turning around to the host of the show. “I don’t think now is a good time for an interview…” And they understood, scurrying out with the cameras and equipment. There were eyes on him from all of the onlookers as Jinki stepped between the two. While Taemin was looking down at his feet, Kibum was staring into the top of his head, but that stare broke the second Jinki blocked it. “What happened here? Are both of you alright?”

Taemin barely nodded, sniffling as he tried to hold back his tears. Without even realizing it, Jonghyun and Minho were both by the small boy, holding him tight as they tried to comfort him. Jinki only looked at them for a few seconds before looking to Kibum, and then around at the other dressing rooms with peeping eyes and listening ears. “Kibum, come with me.”

“No.” Jinki didn’t even listen to him as he grabbed the diva’s wrist and walked away, dragging the younger man with him.

“Where are you taking me Jinki? This is kidnapping!” He tried to fight against the grip on his arm, but Jinki wasn’t letting up. When that didn’t work, he planted his feet so it was much harder to pull him. The leader didn’t answer and only sighed before grabbing Kibum around the waist and throwing him over his shoulder. “Put me down right now!”

Fists pounded into his back, but there was still no reaction as he continued through the halls and up flights of stairs, carrying the extra load with him. Kibum eventually gave up fighting back since it was only tiring him out. Only when they reached the roof of the building did Jinki set Kibum down. His hand still held onto the other and he had an arm wrapped around Kibum’s waist keeping the boy close to him. “If I let you go, are you going to run back down the stairs and make me chase after you?” There was a shake of his head and Jinki released his grip to sit on the ground. “Then sit with me.”

“…Why?”

“You dare question the leader?” Jinki let out a laugh. “I need to talk to you.”

“I swear what happened isn’t what it seems.” Kibum tried to back away from him, but Jinki grabbed his ankle and pulled onto the other fell on his next to him.

“Then tell me what happened. Because to all of us who didn’t see, it looked like you were terrorizing our sick maknae.” He laid down to look at the stars but watched Kibum from the corner of his eye as he began playing with his shoelace. “Are you going to-”

“I just asked him why he wouldn’t tell us what he was going through. Or I tried to.” Kibum’s voice sounded hollow now as he thought about it played out. “I brought him for the interview like you guys asked, but he was angry at me at first. Then he said it was just because he was hurting a little… I didn’t mean to go so far…” He looked up at the almost-full moon. “I got mad at him when he wasn’t talking. ‘Why does he keep ignoring us?’ I thought. ‘Why won’t he tell us anything?’” There was a shaky breath, but Jinki didn’t dare do anything to comfort Kibum as he continued. “I grabbed his wrist since he was ignoring me and was going to walk into the room. I’d wanted to talk to him first, but he wouldn’t let me. I guess I grabbed it too tightly… He kept asking me to let go, saying that it hurt, but I just grabbed tighter. I was yelling at him for not telling us more and then… He screamed. After that…”

He finally broke down and started sobbing. Jinki watched for a few seconds before sitting up and wrapping his arms around Kibum’s shaking frame. The younger turned so that he was crying into the leader’s chest, sobs getting worse with every second. “I screwed up, didn’t I?’

“Yeah… You did.” Jinki mindlessly began petting the other’s head, trying his best to silence the cries even a little. “But there’s still a chance to fix it, you know.”

“How?”

“Well…” Jinki gave a smile to the other when Kibum finally looked at him, “I have a plan."