"Look, oppa," Jinseul pointed at the lavendar sky where a single spot shined brightly. "See? It's a star!"

 

"Ne, Jinseul ah," I smiled down at her as her head rested on my shoulder. "It's out early."

 

"Jeongmal yeppeo-da!" She cheered in a singsong voice. "Don't you think it's pretty?" I chuckled and held her closer to me, which made her giggle as well.

 

The orange sun had sunk lower into the horizon, leaving a trail of orange and pink that painted the rest of the sky a deep blue and vivid indigo. It seemed like only minutes passed rather than hours. My time is slipping away quicker than it should, but I suppose I like it that way. It killed me on the inside to hide it from Jinseul, but seeing her hurt and in tears would kill me sooner than when I'm expected to die.

 

We sat there on that hill for a while longer, to when the stars poked out from the night sky and shimmered. "Yah, Jinseul ah," I gently shook her as her eyes slowly closed.

 

"Ne..? What is it?" she looked up at me sleepily.

 

I only grinned and said, "We should go. It's getting late, and you're falling asleep."

 

"Aniyo!" Jinseul said quickly yet childishly. "I'm not tired! I want to stay here, oppa, just a little longer. Jebal?"

 

"Arasseo," I sighed, but smiled. I kissed her head softly and let it rest on my shoulder again. "Just a little longer." And we did. We stayed there a bit longer and let the sweet silence accompany us. The cool breeze of late summer blew past us, and I looked down at Jinseul and smiled. She was already sleeping. "Baboyah." Slowly and carefully, I stood up with Jinseul on my back and her arm dangling off my shoulders. Off we went to her place on foot -- since, I guess, we weren't that far from her place.

 

Walking under the streetlights, I listened to Jinseul's peaceful breathing. "Oppa... pae... paegopayo..." I turned my head just slightly, surprised that she mumbles in her sleep.

 

I held in a laugh, "Babo. You'll need to start taking care of yourself now. Soon I... won't be around to feed you anymore." Tears gathered in my eyes and threatened to fall but for some reason, they didn't. I hung my head down and watched each step I took and finally, a warm tear rolled down my cheek.

 

We finally reached Jinseul's house, and I used her house key to get in. Thankfully, her parents were out of town for the week, so no one was there to accuse me of trespassing. I brought her to her room upstairs and gently laid her down. I took off her shoes and tossed them aside, then pulled the blanket over her and kissed her forehead before taking my leave.

 

The next morning, I slept in and woke up late. I sat up and rubbed my face and took a deep breath before look at my clock. 11:07am. I sighed again and fell back onto my pillow and stared at the ceiling, then I took my phone. 3 messages from Jinseul.

 

Good morning oppa~ :)

 

Oppa are you awake yet?

 

We should do something today.

 

Heh, you're always bored... I texted her back.

 

We'll go later, okay?

 

------------------------------- [Meh. At about around 6pm]

 

I knocked on the door once, twice, thrice, and Jinseul appeared before me. "Oppa! Annyeong!" She hugged me tightly, and of course I hugged her in return.

 

"Annyeong, Jinseul ah. Mian I didn't reply to you. I slept in." I said, rubbing the back of my neck.

 

"Oh, gwenchana~" she laughed. "We should do something today, oppa."

 

"Go get ready, I have something planned for you."

 

"Jinjja? Aratchi~" I waited for Jinseul to return before taking her hand. "Kaja."

 

"Where are we going?"

 

A smile grew on my face. "You'll see." Today, it's gotta count. Because for me, tomorrow is too late.

 

Hand in hand, Jinseul and I walked to a destination that was unknown to her. Yet, anyway.

 

Conversations filled the journey to the place I had in mind. "Jaehyun oppa said that he and his sister were gonna go camping later this week." "Ilseok hyung said he planned to ask out Minyoung ah tomorrow." Completely random topics came and went, and it was fun like this. I guess it's because I loved Jinseul's smile and laugh. I liked seeing her happy. I'm so glad I met you.

 

"Yah, we're here." We arrived at the hill we were at yesterday. There, a simple picnic was set up.

 

"Wuah~ Oppa did you do this? Daebak!" Jinseul went ahead and I followed her. "Eat well oppa~"

 

"Yah yah, slow down! You'll choke."

 

"Ani I won't~ Masa~" For some reason, Jinseul seemed to like the simple dishes that I make. Heh, I guess helping out my omma really paid off. 

 

-------------------------------

 

After the picnic, I took Jinseul out to this place where they had canoe rides as well as kayaking and tubing and other activties that you can do in water. Jinseul and I rode in a canoe down the river. I remember she told me once that she always wanted to go canoeing.

 

"Go oppa go~" Jinseul cheered as I paddled us along.

 

I laughed, "Yah, keep it down. Not everyone needs to see us."

 

But regardless, Jinseul kept cheering and giggling, "Go oppa~"

 

"Haha, yah, calm down."

 

"Hehe, ani!"

 

--------------------------------

 

"Look oppa! The Han River!" Jinseul scurried away from me and to the bench that was next to the river.

 

"Yah yah, don't run off without me." I laughed as I sat down next to her, lacing fingers with her. I also remembered that she told me she always wanted to see the Han River and make a wish here. "So are you gonna make a wish?"

 

"Hehe, I already have."

 

"Jinjja? What is it?"

 

"To be with Shin Taeil. Yongwonhi!"

 

"Haha, you know, forever is a long time."

 

"Aneunde~"

 

I'm glad I can fulfill that promise.

 

---------------------------------

 

It became dark out, and I knew it was almost time. I brought Jinseul back to the hill. "There's a meteor shower tonight."

 

"Jinjja??"

 

"Ne. Oh look, it's starting." I pointed to the sky where a couple shooting stars streaked across the sky before the darkness was illuminated by countless others. 

 

"Whoa..." I saw Jinseul's eyes sparkle, and the smile that I love very much appeared. "It's so pretty..."

 

I held her from behind and kissed her head, "It is... Oh, that reminds me. The night's not over yet." I pulled away from her and went to the tree, retrieving some things from behind it.

 

"Mwoh? What is it, oppa?"

 

I returned to Jinseul and handed her a sky lantern and one of my own in my other hand. "Here's yours."

 

"Sky lanterns?" Jinseul took the lantern, and I lit both of ours.

 

"Ne. Didn't you say once that you wanted to let of these go?"

 

She smiled and hugged me tightly, "Gomawo."

 

I hugged her in return, and let go after a bit, "When do you want to let them go?"

 

"Jigeum," she said, looking at the falling stars again. "Jigeum."

 

"Ara," I stood by her and held her free hand, and together we released our sky lanterns. They slowly floated up and away from us, towards the directions in which the stars shot. 

 

"Saranghae," I felt Jinseul's head lean on my shoulder.

 

"Nadeo saranghae."

 

--------------------------------

 

Later that night, I dropped off Jinseul at her house. When she closed the door, I turned to leave, but then I stopped and looked back at the door. I took out a letter I wrote this morning, turned it slowly in my hands, and sighed, "Goodbye... Jinseul." I left the letter at her doorstep and took my leave.

 

--------------------------------

 

The next morning, I was gone, but I guess I wasn't completely gone yet. I felt light and it seemed like I was flying. With my last glimpse of life, I had to see Jinseul again.

 

Somehow making my way to her door, I tried knocking, but it didn't make a sound.

 

Jinseul ah. Jinseul ah, open the door. Jinseul ah!

 

I waited, and to my surprise the door actually opened, and Jinseul came. She didn't see me, but she saw the letter and opened it.

 

Dear Jinseul,

 

I'm really sorry, but once you read this, I'll be gone. I couldn't bring myself to tell you, but I became ill, and my days were numbered. So.  With that said, you have to take care of yourself now, okay? Be happy. And don't forget to always check your ramyun so you don't burn it! But... take care. I really hope you can forgive me, but like you wished for, I'll always be here with you in your heart. Please don't think that I left. Please be happy, and if you can, love again. I love you, and I always will.

 

From, Taeil oppa

 

I saw the tears trail down her face. I reached out to wipe them, but I just couldn't touch her. Her voice was inaudible, and I couldn't hear her screaming at me. 

 

-------------------------------- [About 2 years later]

 

I sat with my arms crossed on this cold concrete slab that read my name as well as the year I was born to the year I passed. Aish. I was so freaking bored, and I've been sitting here for a long time now.

 

Just when I was about to get up and go, I spotted someone in the distance the walked in my direction. A girl, and she was on her own. She stopped just in front of me. Oh, Jinseul ah...

 

She stared at the gravestone for a while before she finally set a white carnation and a letter down in front of it. "Neo," she started, "I hope you're doing well now. You are doing well, right?"

 

Jinseul ah...

 

She smiled weakly, "I'm doing well too. I'm able to take care of myself now without having to depend on you all the time. But I have to go now. I will talk to you later, okay oppa?"

 

I stood up and reached out to touch her cheek, but she turned away and left. My hand dropped back to my side and I looked down at the letter she left. I opened it and read it.

 

Dear Taeil oppa,

 

It's been 2 years now since you left. I still look back to the night you took me out. We did all the things that I've always wanted to do. I wanted to ask you, but it wasn't the right time, and now it's too late to ask. And now, I wanted to thank you for those memories. I've cherished them, and I'll continue to cherish them dearly. I wish I had the chance to continue making more memories with you. Had I known you were gonna be gone the next day, that's what I would have wished for. I hope you're doing well. I miss you, and I love you.

 

Love, Jinseul

 

P.S. And don't worry about me. I can make the dishes that you used to make for me, and unnie taught me how to make other dishes too. Maybe I'll bring some back for you to try? When I do, I hope you'll like it.

 

My heart began to throb and sting. I did those things so you could have those memories. I'm glad. I turned and sat back down on the gravestone, smiling, and waited for Jinseul to return.