SeHun looked out the windown, at the passing buildings that all looked the same. The same dull brown bricks places around the same tall, dark doors, all towering over the moving car in the exact same menacing way. The gray clouds seemed to mirror Sehun's feelings that day. That feeling of dread, sadness... Loneliness.

~~~~~

"Hyung, just one more, please?" the younger boy pleaded with his elder, begging for just one more piece of chocolate his blonde boyfriend had been feeding to him. Luhan couldn't help it. With a teasing gleam in his eye, he let out an exaggerated sigh. "If you keep eating these things, you're gonna get a cavity, and then it would be..." He glanced around, as if to make sure nobody could hear, and leaned closer. "It would be painful to kiss me," he whispered seductively into the brunette boy's ear. Sehun shivered. "Can't have that now, can we?" Luhan asked as he quickly pecked Sehun on the lips and turned to walk away, leaving a pouting Sehun behind. He quickly turned to follow the blonde boy making his way through the crowd.

"Sehunnie, I was wondering..." Luhan trailed off, lacing his fingers with Sehun's. "Nevermind, it's not important." Sehun glanced at his boyfriend with a confused look, but let it go.

When the couple reached the dorm, they were greeted with silence, the other members busy with their own schedules. It was rare for Sehun and Luhan to have the whole dorm to themselves, and quickly decided to spend even more quality time with each other. Luhan went to the kitchen to prepare dinner for the two while Sehun went to their shared bedroom to change clothes. He looked at the twin beds pushed together to make one large one. For once, the sheets were still rumpled and thrown about, clothes littering the floor from the past week. Weird, Luhan must not have been feeling good if he hasn't picked up, Sehun thought to himself.

After changing, Sehun made his way to the kitchen and stood in the doorway, admiring his boyfriend's lithe body as he moved around the kitchen. The younger boy couldn't help himself anymore and moved behind Luhan, wrapping his arms around the blonde's extremely thin waist, nibbling delicately on his earlobe.

"Aish, Hunnie, I'm trying to cook, you can't distract me like... Mmmm." Luhan was cut off as a moan escaped his mouth, and he gave up on fighting the younger man. He quickly turned around and gave himself to the convincing maknae. They made their way to their bedroom, quickly closing the door and forgetting about dinner.

~~~~~

The couple laid together in bed, Luhan's face nestled in the crook of Sehun's neck, arms wrapped around each other protectively. Sehun drew lazy circles on his lovers back. They soon drifted off to sleep curled around each other. Sehun was on the very edge of consciousness when he barely caught Luhan's whisper.

"I'm so sorry."

~~~~~

Obnoxious banging on the bedroom door. Sehun grunted as Kris yelled at s to get up.

"We have to be in the van in one hour to get to the show, guys! Everybody up!"

Sehun shifted, preparing to wake up his boyfriend, but instead felt nothing but an empty bed. He furrowed his brows in confusion and glanced around the room. Their closet door was open and clothes still littered the ground. Sehun warily got up and slipped on boxers and a pair of jeans. He didn't know if they were his. His and Luhan's lives were now so intertwined that he had no clue where Luhan ended and he began. But he didn't care.

Looking into the hallway at the members that ran about, looking for clothes or makeup or each other. He stepped out of the doorway and close we don't the bedroom door behind him. Walking to the kitchen, he finally saw Luhan sitting at the table, a cup of coffee in one hand and a blank look on his pale face as he stared at nothing. Strange, he never drinks coffee, thought Sehun to himself, Something must be bothering him. But Sehun didn't voice his thoughts and instead walked over to the Chinese boy and laid a quick kiss on his cheek. He saw Luhan flinch and immediately felt hurt.

"Hey, I missed you when I woke up. When uhh aren't you getting ready?" The tired boy glanced up at Sehun and then quickly looked down. "Already done. I've been up for a while. Couldn't sleep," he trailed off while quickly looking at Sehun. This made Sehun angry.

"Why won't you look at me?" he demanded. Sehun tried to catch his lover's eyes, but with no luck, he stood angrily.

Lay came in and, seeing the tension rolling between the two, and set about trying to fix the problem. "Come on guys, not before a scheduled show. You can't do this now." He tried to reason with Sehun, but, to no avail, he quickly turned and grabbed his and Luhan's bags pulled Luhan out of his chair with a knowing expression, and left out the front door.

Sehun glared after the two. Kai strolled into the kitchen and patted their maknae on the back with a look of pity. "Ehh don't worry about it. Y'all can never stay mad at each other for too long. He'll probably tell you soon." The rest of the members slowly followed out the front door down towards the waiting van.

Seeing Lay and Luhan together in the back, heads bowed together and whispering to each other sent a jealous pang though Sehun as he settled in between Chen and Tao near the front.

When they arrived at the station, Sehun could tell Luhan was avoiding him, always with Lay, and Lay making sure Sehun never got too close. The rest of the show continued, Luhan and Sehun never standing near each other, with the rest of the members giving Luhan worried looks, as if something would happen if they took their eyes off of him.

After the recording, Sehun saw Luhan pull one of the managers to the side and whisper nervously into his ear. After a moment, the manager nodded and sent Luhan outside with one of the other managers. The manager Luhan had talked to walked over to Kris, Lay, Chanyeol, and Suho and exchanged a few words with the group. Concern showed on their faces, but they all nodded, seeming to agree with a request from the manager. The manager turned and quickly went out the door, following after Luhan.

~~~~~

"What the hell was that about?!" Sehun yelled at the restaurant of the members when they had reached the dorm. He had say quietly in the van on their way back home, but when he realized Luhan was not at the dorm waiting for him, he exploded.

"Sehun, you need to calm down. Yelling at us won't help the situation," Kai explained calmly. Sehun had noticed the members talking quietly amongst themselves and sending worried glanced his direction in the van, but he chose to ignore them, waiting until they had gotten back to the dorm so he could apologize to Luhan for overreacting.

"What do you mean it won't help? What situation? Nobody will tell me anything! I need to ducking talk to Luhan, but he's ducking ignoring me!" Lay tried to approach his angered member, but he was quickly shoved aside. "I don't want to hear anything from you! From any of you! You were helping him, keeping me away from him! You have no right, he's MINE!" And with that last word, Sehun fell to his knees, the tears falling freely down his cheeks. The other members could do nothing but look on in pity as their maknae broke down.

The group's silence was broken by a ringing phone. Kris quickly pulled out his phone and, looking at the caller ID, answered it immediately. "Yes?" he answered urgently. His face fell as he quietly pulled the phone away from his ear and ended the call. He looked at the other members and nodded. "Let's go."

The shocked silence of the members was broken as some broke into tears, while others were simply too shocked to respond. "What are you talking about? Where are we going? What's happening?" No one gave Sehun the answers he wanted. Instead, they shuffled back outside to the van for the second time that night. Sehun followed, looking around worriedly.

The drive was short, filled with the sounds of sobbing from s. Sehun looked around and saw his brothers being comforted, held, and at that moment, he wished he had his Luhannie back.

Luhan.

Suddenly, it hit him. "Is it him? What happened to him?!" his feeling of anger quickly turned into those of fear. He quickly noticed the the van was pulling into a hospital parking lot. "Oh god," and Sehun's world came quickly falling down.

He ran inside, stopping only when he spotted the managers who had last been with Luhan standing outside of a room talking quietly to a doctor. Sehun ran up and grabbed the doctor by the collar of his coat. "What happened to him? Can I see him?" The doctor cleared his throat and took a deep breath.

"I know you are the only one who was not told do to the patient's request, but Luhan has been battling cancer for the past year." the doctor glanced behind Sehun's head, acknowledging the rest of the members who had arrived right after Sehun. "His conditioned worsened vastly this past week. The stress of work has taken a great toll on his body. He came in with your managers only when he realized he had no time left, and by then, it was too late."

Sehun quietly released the doctor and backed into the opposite wall, sliding down until he had his knees up to his chest, hugging himself. He suddenly understood. Luhan's sudden weight loss, not cleaning their room, staring into nothing, the sudden urge to drink coffee just to keep himself going. And suddenly Sehun remembered the day before. Luhan had tried to tell him, but he didn't listen. He vaguely heard the doctor's last words to the group.

"He passed away 10 minutes ago. I'm sorry," and he turned and walked away after bowing to the group.

Sehun screamed, felt himself being ripped open and torn apart, his yells of torture being carries down the hallways. He beat his chest, hoping to bomb the pain that had settled over his heart, tears burning their way out of his eyes. He noticed the gentle caresses of the members trying to calm him, but he didn't feel them. He couldnt feel anything besides the pain.

~~~~~

Sehun glanced out the window at the passing buildings and the gray clouds, feeling the loneliness suffocating him. He felt in his pocket and pulled out the folded letter the manager had given to him after the funeral. He opened it and read it again and again, tears falling slowly, his hands trembling.

My Sehunnie,

I'm sorry I left you. It's not fair to you, and I wish I didn't have to go. Buy you are strong. You have to be.

I tried to tell you that our time together wasn't running short, but I knew if I told you, you'd make me stay in a hospital, receiving treatment that would only prolong the pain, and I couldn't stand to give you that false hope. So I pushed you farther and farther away, hoping that by the time you read this letter, you would be able to forget me.

But I was selfish, and instead I ended up hurting you more than I ever wanted to. Stay strong, and find someone you will be able to love until your last days, the way I had you in mine. You don't need me anymore.

I love you.

Remember to forget me.

Luhan