Title: Sore wa Yappari Kimi Dea

Author: Nina

Pairing: YamaChii

Genre: Romance, Friendship, Angst

Rating: PG-13

Summary: “You are more beautiful than a rainbow…” I hope I told you that…

 

A/N: Sequel to Niji :3

 

 

I stared at my ceiling as the sun entered my gloomy bedroom.

A new day…

 

When can I can move on and forget these excruciating pains??

 

What am I living for?

 

Oh right… I’m living for you, Yuri…

 

But you’ve gone far away… So far that I can’t even reach you…

You didn’t even inform me that you’ll be gone.

 

You just left me here in our little neighborhood. Alone.

 

I remembered those days… Those days that I never get tired of telling you my feelings…

 

 

It’s so easy to understand, yes it’s easy…

So simple that both of us can understand it…

I’ll try saying it…

“I love you…”

 

I thought our ending would be “Happily ever after…” It’s commonly like that, right? But… I was wrong…

 

I didn’t think that these things that are happening to me will actually happen… I hate you…

I hate you ‘cause I love you so much… So much that I don’t know how to live if you’re not here beside me…

 

I hate myself as well, why did I get used on living for you?

 

 

The place where our shadows joined…

The same time we walked together…

 

I’m here again… Can you blame me?

 

This place… This tree…

 

Am I crazy to go here everyday expecting that you’d be sitting here waiting for me? And you’ll smile like you always did. That smile… The thing that I loved the most.

I still can’t believe you leave me just like that Yuri…

Why?

 

I thought you love me as much as I love you…

Do you remember those times???

 

The memories that you and I shared… I am smiling like an idiot every time I recalled those…

 

But…

 

Everything about those times will be changed…

 

 Cause what’s the use of those happy memories if we’re not together?

 

Please come back Yuri…

 

So that I may sing to you, so that I may reach you…

 

Can’t  you see? I’m so miserable… I’m walking. I’m breathing. But I’m dead…

I’m already dead cause you’re not here…

 

If only I could go and meet you…

I can tell the places where you are…

Almost as if I can see you…

As if you are right next to me…

 

 

I know you’re here with me… I believe that you are still here with me…

 

That’s why it hurts…

Because I know…

That I cannot go no matter what…

 

Just for a little time, come back here… I want to see you again and tell you the things I didn’t have a chance to tell…

 

I say “I still have to do my best…” and from there…

You’ll be able to smile…

 

You’re a selfless person… You always make sure that I’ll smile, that’s why I made it clear to myself that I’ll make you smile too and be the happiest person in this world…

 

I cooked meals for you…

Brought out the things you like…

But they remained untouched…

I also got used to those…

 

Because little by little, my hope of your return has faded…

 

If next time, it worked out fine…

Even though there’s no way it’ll happen I’ll try my best…

 

Did you become happy in our relationship even though it is only for a short period of time? If yes… Will you return to me? I know it’s impossible but there’s no harm in wishing for something impossible, right?

 

You can see me, but I can’t see you…

In a drunken tone, I whispered “How unfair…”

What do you think? Did I change a little?

 

Yes, I knew it myself… I had changed. I’m not the same anymore. But for you, I’ll always be your Ryosuke.

 

“Have you become sloppy?”

 

I heard that from the wind that passed through the window

It’s the same as always…

 

I cried… I am even imagining your voice frequently… Your cute way of scolding me… That sweet voice of yours that I’ll never get tired of hearing… When can I hear it again??

 

 

“If only… I had told you that time … You are…”

 

 

 

~~

FLASHBACK

 

Yuri lifts his head from my chest and smiled at me, “It’s nothing… Thanks for coming Ryosuke.”

 

I sighed…

 

You’re always like that when you’re sulking…

You hide the things that are important to me…

 

 

Yamada cried his eyes out that night as those memories clouded his mind.

Chinen is gone. He’s gone now and forever…

 

“Baka… You should have told me…”

 

“Yamada-kun…”

 

The boy lifts his head and stared blankly at Saaya, Chinen’s older sister. She sat next to him and pats his shoulder.

 

“He wants to tell you… He really does… But… He doesn’t want to see you crying. He loves you so much. I know that… Because all the things He told me are about you…”

 

The older girl smiled as she recalled her brother. “’Ryosuke is so cool earlier’ ‘Ryosuke treats me lunch!’ ‘Ryosuke held my hand when I am feeling cold’ ‘Ryosuke is so gentle to animals’ ‘Ryosuke is a great cook’ ‘Ryosuke never fails to make me laugh’ ‘I love Ryosuke so much…’ … He always tells me those things… I always laughed at him cause it’s been so long but none of you confessed to each other.”

 

Yamada’s tears continued to flow as the older girl tells those things.

 

“However… He kept it inside. He thought you don’t love him, that he’s just a FRIEND for you, so you won’t care even if he dies… It’s a great tragedy for our family. He’s our angel and we even thought that he won’t last until 18… His heart disease has worsened you know… He’s just great in hiding it.”

 

“A few weeks earlier, he became panicky… He’ll just start crying and will go to that sakura tree near the river… After a few days he became normal again, actually his smile brightened and that is because you confessed to him… But… A new fear enveloped him… How can he let you go when your love just started?”

 

Saaya looked at the crying boy, “Thank you… thank you for all the things that you shared with my brother… please, continue to smile… cause that thing is what he loves the most.”

 

He nodded as he wiped his tears with the back of his hand. He stared at the girl as she walked away while talking with a nurse. He stood up and entered Chinen’s room.

 

He saw his lifeless body there.

 

He sat next to him and caressed the small boy’s cold hands. He put it on his cheeks, wanting to warm his cold body even though it’s impossible…

 

“Yuri…”

“Why? Why did you leave me just like that…? It hurts… It hurts because I love you so much.”

“… Now I understand why you love rainbows. You are always hoping, right? You’re always hoping that your ending will be ‘happily ever after’ but do you know that it comes from the phrase ‘happily until they died’? I hope you’re happy until the last moments of your life… Cause I’m really happy for all the time I spent with you.”

“You’ll still be the only one for me… My Yuri… My one and only love…”

~~

 

A colorless year had passed since that day…

 

The day that you leave me in this world… I never found another love, I didn’t even make an effort.

You’ll always be the only person that is perfect for me…

 

I looked up at the sky and I saw the symbol of our love, the seven colored arc that reminds me of you…

I’m here at our symbolic tree… feeling your presence with me…

 

You, who laughed softly in that space and time,

Are the most important thing to me that I could almost cry…

Saying that… was something I couldn’t do that time…

Why didn’t I say it?

 

You never said “I love you” to me… Never… Maybe you’re just afraid that I’ll be hurt more if you said those three words to me… But it doesn’t matter right?

And the phrase that I want to tell you when I’m gonna propose to you… I didn’t even have the chance.

 

More than the thing we saw up in a distance…

 

You are…

You are…

 

You smiled widely as you heard your most favorite thing in this world. “Yeah… It’s so beautiful, right? It symbolizes hope… I wish I can be one when I’m gone someday… I’ll definitely give you hope to continue on…”

 

I smiled as I heard that… I silently told myself again, “That would be the most beautiful rainbow I’ll ever see…”

 

I remembered your bright face as you said those… I looked at the tree and search at the carvings I wrote… The thing that you never saw… As I lay my eyes on those carvings, a hot tear escape my eyes…

 

“I love you,Yuri.”

“I love you too, Ryosuke. Forever and ever.”

 

So you saw it? I smiled while crying and looked up at the sky… As the wind brushes my dampened cheeks I whispered…

 

“You are more beautiful than the rainbow.”

~~~~

 

 

~ I just want to post it here cause I already posted this in my other accounts <3 <3

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