My heart aches every time I see you two together…
My heart aches because I know you will not like me like I like you…
My heart aches because you pushed me away…
My heart aches because I saw you hurt…
My heart aches… Why not me?
Kyungsoo is sitting under a tree reading a book, concentrating, with the sound of the leaves rustling above him.
“Hyung!” Jongin, Kyungsoo’s best bud… and he… he likes him… Kyungsoo turned around and saw Jongin running towards him.
“What is it?” He replied with a cold tone as he continued to read his book. He expects to lessen his liking to Jongin if he stays cold to him. But he’s wrong. His liking is still in place. And still growing, little by little.
“Yah, why so cold hyung?” Jongin pouts as he sat beside Kyungsoo.
"You're a lot more cheerful today, huh?" Still not looking to Jongin. But he can't make up any sense to what he is reading.
"Ouch, so cold! It stings!" Jongin says after he placed his finger on Kyungsoo's shoulder.
“Just say it.”
“Huh? Say what?” Jongin replied. With the innocence in his face. Pretending he don't know what Kyungsoo is talking about.
“What are you going to say?” He slammed the book shut with his hand, and faced Jongin with his eyebrows met. He didn’t expect that Jongin is smiling big. Kyungsoo didn’t help it, he’s big smile is contagious and he began to smile.
“That’s more I like it! I like Hyung smiling!” A small moment of eye contact and Kyungsoo breaks it he opened the book and starts to search the page he was in.
“I was going to show you something, come on!” Jongin grabs Kyungsoo’s wrist and run fast. Kyungsoo shocked for he didn't expect it causing his book fall to the ground.
“Jongin, wait! I’m going to trip!” Kyungsoo shouted but Jongin didn't mind him and continues to run. With a big smile on his face Kyungsoo understands that this is something special. He suddenly feel jealous. He hopes that it’s not a girl. Yes, it’s selfish, he knows.
Out of breath Kyungsoo and Jongin, they reached their dorm room.
"Inside here." Jongin points his finger at the door meaning that the reason he dragged Kyungsoo and the reason he is so cheerful and a lot brighter today.
"Why are you such in a hurry?" Still out of breath he placed his hands on his knees.
"Because...of her..."
Her.
Her.
Her.
Replaying on his mind.
A girl.
The moment that Kyungsoo is afraid of... is now happening. It all happened in slow motion...
Jongin opened the door and there, with a pink cardigan with a white dress and medium length hair, a girl waiting for them, for Jongin. Truly a girl that Jongin likes. Kyungsoo stood straight and still, the girl stood up and walks toward Jongin with a smile on their face. Kyungsoo looks at Jongin's hand which is on the girl's waist. She bowed down and spoke but he can't hear it, all he can hear is his heart starting to break.
"Hyung."
He snapped back to reality.
"Ah... y-yes."
"You okay, hyung?" Jongin asked with a worried look on his face.
"Y-yes! Of course! Uh.. Congratulations Jongin! And to you... too." He greeted them both.
"Yahh. I know you'll like her." A big smile then formed on his lips. He's really happy. Happier than he was with him.
-
Kyungsoo is reading his book at his bed when he realized he's curious how Jongin loves her.
"Jongin." Kyungsoo called Jongin at the study table.
"Yes, hyung?" Jongin didn't look to his hyung instead he proceeds to do his project that is due next week.
"Do you..." Kyungsoo is not sure if he'll continue.
"Yes? I'm listening."
"Nah, never mind."
"Oh come on, hyung! You made me curious. Just tell me."
"No, it's okay. Continue to what you're doing." Jongin faced Kyungsoo and do a puppy face.
"Oh come on hyung... please?" Kyungsoo sighed.
"Okay... Do you... Do you love her?" Jongin stopped and answered a few seconds later.
"You know I do, hyung. I really love her with all my heart. Why?" Kyungsoo can see the sincerity of Jongin's eyes. It's true, he really do love her. And it hurts.
"Thought so..." Kyungsoo faced his back to Jongin and shed a tear while Jongin gets back to his work.
-
Kyungsoo is walking from the mall, all alone. Since Kai is busy presenting his project that he worked on a week.
He saw many couples walking, holding hands, wearing cheesy couple t-shirts, taking selcas on the bench, buying couple rings, necklaces or bracelets. They are all over the place, this is normal for Kyungsoo. But something caught his eyes. A familiar girl. He looked at her again, then he remembered...
She's Jongin's girlfriend kissing another man...
He stood still, shocked. He was bumped by an old man then he's back to his senses.
He immediately run to his dorm, opened it and saw Jongin inside.
"Hyung! Hyung! I passed!" Jongin was so excited, "She even texted me, look!" He opened his cellphone and Kyungsoo took a look of the message saying "Congratulations, babe! :*"
"I... I saw your girlfriend..." Still out of breath but he wants to Jongin to know what he saw, to prevent him loving her more, that will cause a deep cut on Jongin's heart if he'll not know now.
"Really? What did you say? What did she say?" Jongin placed his hands on Kyungsoo's shoulders, excited of what he's going to say.
"I... saw her.."
"He really loves her, huh?" Kyungsoo thought, and now he doesn't know if he's going to say it. But he knows Jongin he will just bug him and will force him to say it.
Those eyes of his. It makes me jealous. He's true to her, but why is she not?
"... kissing another man..."
Jongin's face suddenly changed. And he puts down his hands.
"That's not funny." His face becomes cold.
"But it's true!" Kyungsoo said but Jongin turned around and sat down at his study table.
"Not funny hyung, you don't really know how to tell a joke." His voice, Kyungsoo didin't know he had this side. He was always so sunny.
Kyungsoo walked towards Jongin and placed his hand on his shoulder, "Believe me, I saw her--"
Kyungsoo founds himself on the floor, his hands on his mouth, bleeding. Jongin punched him. He can't believe it.
"I can't believe you are doing this, hyung. Why? You know I love her, but why are you doing this? Why are you maligning her? I thought you are my friend." He... he's crying.
He wiped his tears, and grabbed the jacket that his girlfriend has for him. He opened the door and
Wham! The deafening silence came. Kyungsoo still can't move on to the fact that he's punched. By Jongin. The boy that he likes. And worse, he thought he maligned his girlfriend.
"Why, Jongin? Why do you like this girl so much?"
-
Months passed.
They didn't talk.
They didn't even look at each other.
Like they don't exist to each other.
His girlfriend always visits him every day.
Kyungsoo once took a glance and saw Jongin happier than ever.
But another month passed.
Kyungsoo was searching for an answer to his homework on his laptop when he heard Jongin talking on his phone.
"Hello?"
"What?!!!"
"Where?!"
"Oh God-- I'm on my way!" He didn't changed his clothes just wore the jacket his girlfriend gave him.
Kyungsoo's curious about what happened so he decided to turn the laptop off and follow Jongin. He keeps his distance from Jongin so Jongin won't see him. It's hard keeping up because Jongin is running, very fast.
After minutes of running it leads them to the nearest hospital.
Jongin entered the hospital followed by Kyungsoo, he saw Jongin asking on the nurse's table and immediately run towards the elevator. Kyungsoo jog towards the nurse's table and asked where he is headed to, they said he is going to room 306, Kim Da Eun.
"He's girlfriend." He thought and immediately run to the nearest elevator and pressed 3.
The elevator opened he quickly found the room 306, he peeked into the small glass to see what is inside, and saw Jongin holding her hand... crying.
"How can he love her this much?" He thought. Kyungsoo feels like a villain to their love story.
The doctor inside patted Jongin's shoulder, comforting him. Kyungsoo saw the doctor is now leaving the room, he backed up and when the doctor came out he asked what is the problem of the patient.
"She has a weak heart, we advised her a year ago to not tire herself up. But I guess she didn't take that seriously. The only chances now that she'll live is a heart donor. I'm sorry, but I can't help your friend any longer." Then the doctor walked away.
He looked inside again, and felt the pain in his heart.
"I guess, you are more important in Jongin's life, huh? I hope you'll be faithful to Jongin, because Jongin is faithful to you. He loves you, please take care of him." Kyungsoo felt that his cheeks are now wet, he's crying.
"God, I can't believe I am doing this."
-
"Please take care of my heart... Kim Da Eun, and... Kim Jongin thank you, because you will now love my heart." Kyungsoo thought before the sleeping drug took effect.
The operation now starts.
Comments