Running Back { 2/? }
Running Back [HIATUS ; ;]
Words: ~ 4 010
Sehun walked pass the mobbed hallway, squeezing his body through the huge crowd that occupied the already voluminous corridor. It was an elbow-to-elbow type of mob that he himself hasn't seen before, not inside the hospital at least. He was supposed to be inside his office, collectedly taking a sip of coffee from his tumbler, sitting in serenity on his armchair lounging, but as of the moment he was rushing to the emergency room, his coffee remained in his work area, completely untouched, as his mind was in total chaos, musing on innumerable things at once. The abundance of people ranging from nurses to doctors, visitors and patients themselves was still a sixty-four-thousand dollar question to Mr. Oh Sehun as he neared the ER. It doesn't make sense since for every five minutes someone is being rushed into the emergency room. He also contemplated why the ER staff called him, he doesn't treat normal patients, not at all. He treated special ones that had unique cases, not people who broke a bone or maybe someone under a cardiac arrest. He cleared his throat, others giving him space so he can go in the room more easily. As this kind of situation was entirely new to him, he was a bit timorous of what was to greet him inside the triage room.
Baekhyun wiped his forehead, staining his own face with sweat and blood as they quickly rushed his lover inside. His heart sank when he saw him on the street, lying down, his eyes closed as if he was under a deep sleep, not breathing. His chest was in pain and so was his head, the moment it registered in his mind that Kris was dead. If one wasn't breathing, it means they're dead, right? If one doesn't react physically to any kind of movement, it means they're not alive, right? He had so many questions in his head that his mind answered by itself. He didn't know what he was supposed to do and all he did was bawl in sorrow as his tears fell heavily down his face. He was assaulted by this sudden prosaic burn that came with dread. His head spun and his body did nothing but yearn for direct contact with Kris' own. He was now standing inside the ER, shivering in genuine fear as he felt like the other wouldn't survive. He lost too much blood and his head split open, the physical damage caused by the accident was serious, Baekhyun knew. He was worried that Kris would really die and never come back. All Baekhyun could do was hope and wish, but not all wishes come true, do they?
"Sir, we think he needs an immediate surgery on the head."
"His skull was split open and the blood lost was too much. There might even be a clot or a tumor."
Luhan and who Sehun presumed was Chanyeol, the new guy, quickly updated him on the details about the patient that attracted so much attention a while ago. His brows knitted as he speculated over the situation in front of him.
There was a man on the operation bed, bleeding way more than one could expect, his head bloody as his skull was busted open, some of his limbs sticking out in different angles that surely caused damage. He wasn't breathing nor was he moving, even one bit. It was crucial.
He ran beside the bed before grabbing the surgical mask Luhan was offering him. The crease on his forehead worsened and drops of sweat started forming on his temples as his hand moved from here to there, checking the patient that lay half-dead in front of him. He quickly checked the obvious blow on his head and saw that his skull was broken, a part of his brain might have a serious damage- he might not wake up. Sehun tried his best together with his assistants. Other doctors were able to treat the patient's broken limbs and bones, stitch up the cuts and cover the bruises but the prominent blow on his skull was there and it'll take time to fix it.
Hours passed and Baekhyun just waited, and waited, and waited. Nothing came. No one came. He grasped his hair in frustration and anxiety. What happened?! Is he alive?! Is he breathing?! Is he awake?! He wanted to ask so much but no one was there anyway. He had no choice but to sit down on the waiting benches, try to ease his mind, and wait.
"D-do I t-tell the p-p-person outside the room a-about it?"
It looked weird when someone as tall as Chanyeol who had slightly pointy ears to stutter. He looked kind of elfish, baby faced and feminine so it just really felt awkward to Sehun. In addition to his manly yet dainty features, he was older than Sehun and he was stuttering while talking to him. Sehun didn't know if the other was uncomfortable around him or just terrorized by the incident earlier. Maybe Chanyeol stuttered since Sehun was highly respected in the hospital by all workers but that was just outlandish because Sehun wasn't arrogant about his position. He never bragged about it and acted like he was the boss or in charge. He acted immaturely even, considering his quite idiotic antics at times that made Luhan, his friend, colleague and head nurse, tick. So it all just felt peculiar and simply, weird.
Sehun put his hand on Chanyeol's shoulder as if to signal him to halt and calm down. His mind was in World War III and he was just in a complete dilemma. It's impossible, he thought, He can't be dead. The other physical injuries were serious, yes but this one on the head caused the most blood loss but his brain wasn't damaged or anything. Only his skull was and now that they were able to put two halves back together, the patient was supposed to wake up. He glanced at the now breathing man on the bed, his body idle with his mind. Sehun gave Chanyeol's shoulder a squeeze before turning his back at him and calling Luhan over.
Luhan was the head nurse for the Mental Facility firm and he didn't like it, at first. When he applied for the slot "Head Nurse", he expected to be put under the Infant Section or maybe the Pediatrics Section or even the Obstetrics Section. But no, they had to place him in the Psychiatric Section where he has to visit asylums or mental facility centers twice to thrice a week, tend to patients who mumble incoherent statements and draw on walls. It's not that he was disgusted of people who drooled continuously since they were literally brain dead or people who play with their own out of unknown curiosity. Luhan was afraid. He was afraid of what would happen to him if his life revolved around crazy, mentally disoriented people almost everyday. He was scared that he'll turn into one of them and be victimized by the power of his own mind. He was frightened that he'll have a nervous breakdown and just lose himself. The thought of wearing a straight jacket or being locked up in a cell or being tied to your bed horrified him and drained his energy, made him weak and frail. He didn't have a choice in the end though, so he went with it. That brings us to a young man wearing a tidy, white and turquoise uniform, a silver name tag pinned on his chest with an embedded "Lu Han" on it, standing beside a young doctor, holding some folders that contained different cases of psychological illnesses.
"What do you mean he's not dead?"
Sehun took a deep breath and massaged his temples before speaking again, "He's breathing and his pulse rate is quite faint but he's alive. His heart is pumping blood, still."
"Still Sehun," Luhan swallowed the lump on his throat as he stared at the patient they just saved, "I'm pretty sure he's on a coma."
Sehun looked around him and found the clock, it was only five minutes till 6 PM and he was sure this patient was waiting for the right time to open his eyes again.
"You just watch. He's not in a coma, I'm sure."
The tall, lanky figure scurried outside as he glanced from left to right, looking for a certain person whose name was "Byun Baekhyun". He scanned the corridors and saw a worn out looking figure slumped on one of the waiting areas, his clothes and body stained with dried blood. Chanyeol frowned before calling out the name given to him by his senior, Luhan, earlier in the ER.
"Mr. Byun Baekhyun? Paging Byun Baekhyun. Come to the ER immediately, please!"
Chanyeol yelled a little too softly as he stared at the male across the hallway. He seemed to be in a daze or he was just spacing out or maybe in deep thought. The moment he heard his name, he looked over to Chanyeol and the taller one couldn't help but feel like he was shrinking, bit by bit. Baekhyun's eyes had no light in them anymore, it looked dead with misery and regret compared to earlier when he was crying, persistent to stay with the bleeding man up till the emergency room, before he was escorted outside by Luhan. His face was pale and the only color it had was a dark rouge, the patient's now dried up blood. His lips were cracked and he looked like he wasn't even trying to breathe. Chanyeol got worried and brought him inside before he could pass out.
5.57 PM and Sehun was trying to comfort Baekhyun who turned out to be Kris, the patient's, ex-boyfriend. Sehun being a psychiatrist, had curiosity running in his blood but he felt like it wasn't a good time to interrogate Baekhyun about why he was Kris' Ex and not his current boyfriend or why Baekhyun was helping Kris in the first place if they already broke up. Sehun knew that Baekhyun wasn't helping the other out of compassion, he was sure that there's a deeper meaning to it. A meaning only Baekhyun would understand by himself. Sehun continued explaining and made the other stand beside the bed. He told Baekhyun to talk to Kris and coo him in waking up or opening his eyes or just moving. To everyone's surprise, he did.
The world is going to end, Baekhyun thought shamelessly as he pretended to listen to the doctor in front of him's words and phrases. He knew he was comforting him but he didn't really listen, he just didn't feel like listening right now. As the clock hit 6, they were still standing beside the bed, staring down at Kris, when his hand shifted.
There was a moment of silence for three seconds before Luhan's loud gasping was heard. Sehun was right. Their patient won't be on a coma. He was both physically and mentally active.
The vibrance stung his eyes causing them to water. His body was repulsive to movement and everything, truthfully, everything was aching. His head was in pain, his muscles, his limbs. Even the tips of his fingers ached and Kris wasn't happy about that. He forced his eyes to completely open, also forcing it to re-adjust with the room's lighting. He tried moving his neck but he couldn't, though he knew his neck was okay, it wouldn't move. He tried wiggling his fingers and it moved but the type of movement wasn't even a millimeter close to wiggling. He moved his gaze to his right, there were people in the room. A man dressed in white and another one dressed in a button up shirt that looked very untidy. The man wearing the button up looked very dirty. There was something on his forehead and he wasn't smiling, not scowling either but he looked dismayed. Kris kept on frowning before his eyes went back to focus. He stared back at the two people looking down at him.
"What are you thinking of?"
The question was odd, Kris thought. After a few moments of breathing in and out, he remembered what had happened. He got involved in a car accident after talking to Suho. Then after that he woke up in a brightly lit room with everyone wearing white that Kris knew were nurses and doctors. If it was an accident, he was sure that this was the Emergency Room and that the operation was conducted hours ago. He knew what happened and what was happening but he was somewhat irked by the guy wearing white, the doctor. His face looked a bit stoic like Kris, but he was intimidating in his own way. He gave out a different vibe that Kris didn't like. Normally, doctors would ask patients who just woke up "How do you feel?" but this one was contrasting. He asked Kris what he was thinking of, not his physical state. Irregular. Kris had thought.
"Pardon?"
The guy in the button up gawked at him with what Kris thought was affection and happiness. The guy was looking at him like he was his pet puppy that got sick and got better by bringing him to a grumpy looking veterinarian. Kris doesn't feel good about this guy, nope, he didn't.
"What are you thinking of?"
Sehun repeated once more and the other responded, "The accident earlier and how I got here."
He nodded and patted Kris' thigh as the other sat up on his bed with the help of some nurses. Sehun looked too calm to Luhan, he knew something was up.
"So," Sehun took a seat beside Kris "Tell me about what happened, could you?"
Kris did not like this doctor, he was 100% sure about that.
"I crossed the street after talking to a close friend named Suho and then a car hit me, causing a huge accident."
Sehun hummed and bit his lower lip before calling Chanyeol and whispering something to his ear. The older one just walked away before passing a message to Luhan. Sehun continued.
"Did you commit suicide?"
He knew it was wrong, completely wrong to interrogate patients who were undergoing physical recovery processes about their personal memories and thoughts but Sehun was sure that this guy was something special. His case was unique.
"Suicide?"
Kris frowned and stared at the ceiling before a low laugh emerged from his lips, "No, of course not. Why would I think of committing suicide? For what reason would I give up my life so easily?"
Sehun rubbed his palms together as everything was slowly making sense, he was slowly solving the puzzle.
"Maybe a break up with someone? Platonic love? When you're emotionally unstable and physically tired of your emotions going haywire and you feel like you're insane for something, or someone so stupid and irrational? You know, lovesickness?"
Then it hit him. Baekhyun quickly approached Kris on the bed as the doctor mentioned those words. He shook the bed slightly as tears welled up in the corners of his eyes, he was shaking again and this time, it was also because of fear, genuine fear that maybe,
"Kris?"
the person he loved, missed, "Can you..."
and hurt the most "...say,"
didn't know "my name?" him at all.
Sehun was shocked to see Baekhyun suddenly reacting to the situation. He thought he wouldn't move or say anything from happiness that his lover was alive and awake. He knew Baekhyun had solved quarter of the puzzle that he already solved just earlier, already.
Kris looked up to the dirty man in front of him, his hair was messy like his shirt and his face was full of worry. Kris looked into his eyes and saw pure fear. Just fear and nothing else.
"I-I...I'm sorry, I don't, I don't know you."
The ground felt like it was sinking, the atmosphere became icy and his vision blurred. Tears continuously dripped down his face and his limbs gave up on supporting him as he fell with a loud thud on the cold floor. He looked at his blood stained hands before threading his fingers through his hair and giving it a weak pull. His lips trembled and he screamed, the sound full of tribulation. He lost everything. Hope, determination and love, he lost it all. Those words went through his heart like a million daggers stabbing it at once. Those words hurt and stung. They made him feel grief and torment. Baekhyun was hurt, again. This time, he thinks he won't get over it though, never.
Sehun continued to watch the patient and his reactions towards his supposed lover who was weeping on the floor. There were no signs of affection, animosity or lust in the patient's eyes. Nothing but pity was there and the rest was a hollow emotion, meaning he didn't know how to feel. He wasn't confused or in a dilemma. Kris doesn't feel *anything* in particular right now. No emotion, no instinct, just nothingness.
Luhan offered his hand to Baekhyun but the other seemed to have closed his self into his own world, ignoring anything outside it, including reality. He just stayed there, crying and crying. His screeches of pain and loneliness bounced off the walls, making the others cringe as they felt the poor man's raw emotion flow out of his screams. He was pitiful.
Kris tried offering his hand but his mind told him not to. His heart told him to stay put too, so he did nothing but feel sorry. Was he supposed to know this guy? Were they colleagues? Maybe he was the one who hit me earlier or maybe he saved me after the accident. Kris pondered again and again but nothing really came to him, he just didn't know.
They led Baekhyun to a separate room where he was alone with Sehun and Luhan. Kris was left to Chanyeol as he was currently supervising the nurses who were in charge of taking care of Kris. Baekhyun sat on one of the foldable beds that Luhan had set up for him, he was given new clothing that turned out to be a hospital gown. After changing, he was asked to lie down the bed and try and relax his brain, but he failed in doing so and just sat there, staring at the too white walls of what turned out to be a therapy room for patients.
"What are you thinking, Baekhyun?"
Sehun asked it again and the one being asked replied with no words but a sigh. A sigh that gave off oppression. He looked at Baekhyun from across the room before walking towards him and sitting beside him on the bed. Sehun kneaded the elder one's hair before slowly pushing him to lay his head on Sehun's lap, caressing his face, whispering "Relax, relax." a few times before Baekhyun closed his eyes and went deep within himself. Sehun didn't stop the skin contact before Baekhyun drifted to an eased mental state. His breathing finally even, his muscles weren't tensed and he had a small smile playing on his lips. Sehun made a quick mental note to ask him what he imagined before tapping his cheek to awaken him. Baekhyun was in his "inner world" for a total of thirty minutes and Sehun guessed that much meditation was enough for today, it was time for Baekhyun to face reality and it's cruelty, literally.
Baekhyun opened his eyes slowly before blinking the last ounces of sleep away. He stretched and yawned as he stared at the man sitting beside him, a smile plastered on his handsome face.
"Was that nice?"
Baekhyun gave a small nod, he felt calmer than usual and peace flowed inside and out of his systems. What was this guy trying to do?
Sehun cleared his throat and that turned out to be the cue for Luhan to come in holding some papers. He smiled at Baekhyun and handed the documents to Sehun before sitting on a separate chair beside the bed.
Baekhyun readied his mind for the worst of the worse to come, he knew something serious was happening to Kris like maybe amnesia or some mental illness.
"Lacunar Amnesia."
Baekhyun kept quiet and Luhan remained silent.
"It's when one loses memory about *just one specific event or happening in their whole life*."
Sehun stood up and faced Baekhyun, holding his hands and circling his thumb on his knuckles gently, he continued.
"This happening can be anything, like their first day at work or even when they had their 7th birthday. Anything."
Baekhyun seemed to understand more and more what was happening now and he opened his mouth to voice out his opinions, but Sehun didn't want him to as he continued his explanation.
"In normal cases, the moment, the 'happening' as we call it, is completely random. But, in Kris' case, it's different. His isn't random, it was picked by his mind itself."
Luhan inhaled and asked quickly, "How is it possible for the mind to pick a memory that it forgets?"
Sehun folded his arms and paced, "The right term to use is deletes not just forgets. It's possible, I fairly think, in Kris' case at least. I think he suffered under dreadful emotional stress and the feelings he harbored in his chest were too heavy, too intense that his own psychological consciousness decided to end it for him. The pain was too much and the sadness, overflowing, and I give you an 80% certainty stats, that all that was caused by our friend here."
Sehun glanced at Baekhyun before averting his gaze back to the floor. He smirked silently, predicting how the other would react.
"I specialize on mentality issues and psychological problems, but my best field eversince college was Memory Loss and Behavior Patterns, I'm sure of it. Coming back to topic, Kris' mind had made a choice to delete Baekhyun's existence in his entire life because he became a burden instead of a relief. It all depends on the stressing. Kris' being lovesick of Baekhyun, I assume, stressed too much on things about or concerned or related to Baekhyun. And since he stressed *so much* on those things, his mind found it easier to delete the said person from his mind."
Luhan was baffled. He didn't know what to say. It was his first time knowing about this, and he never expected the mind to be so powerful as to erase one's memory by itself, by it's own will. It was all too much at once.
Sehun stopped pacing and looked at the documents that Luhan handed him earlier, "The thing is, not much is known about this type of amnesia. Not like Anterograde or Retrograde, I'm afraid no. I, we, don't know if this can be cured. So far, the possibility of one suffering this kind of mental illness getting back their deleted memory is a spot on 40% while the remaining percentage is divided into not remembering at all and recalling parts but not fully remembering it. It's a pretty rare type of memory loss and is only used as plot bases in movies, not in real life."
Baekhyun tried to let all the information sink in but it was taking too much time. He didn't understand why Kris was hurt, he couldn't. He knew he hurt him but he never thought he'd hurt him so much that it'd drive him insane. It was unpredictable. Baekhyun was speechless and again, he didn't know what to do.
Sehun asked Luhan to leave Baekhyun and he followed. Baekhyun wanted him to stay but Sehun strictly said that he is to be left isolated for some time as he needs to rest. He wasn't at ease. He was nervous, scared and just anxious. Baekhyun can never let fear win him over, it would mean the end of his love for Kris. And Baekhyun swore that moment, he'll make it up to Kris. He promised.
a/n: Hey again lol xD
SO KRIS ISN'T DEAD! YAY <3
I WON'T SAY ANYTHING ELSE BUT THANK YOU AND LOOK FORWARD TO LONGER CHAPTERS LOL xD
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- Elise <3
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