daffodil- rebirth

Recap- Yoona, Myungsoo's ex, is getting married and he's not exactly over her. She wants him to photograph her wedding. Myungsoo is undecided on what he'll do. Myungsoo brings Jessica alstroemeria flowers, which signify friendship. Jessica comes to help him decorate a photo studio for a couple's pre-wedding photoshoot and the two grow significantly closer. 

Myungsoo pulled the blanket over Jessica's legs as she climbed into the bed back at the hospital. "Long day, huh?" Myungsoo asked, tucking the corners of the blanket around Jessica. She nodded, yawning. "Thank you again for all the help you've given me. So, do you want to go somewhere tomorrow? Like an actual date, one that doesn't involve you planting flowers for hours." Jessica beamed, smiling. She watched him leave the room, shutting the door behind him. She was alone here, and she hated it. She was tempted to run after him for it was getting dark and Jessica was afraid of the dark.

It seemed like such a silly thing, her aunt had always scolded her for still having that fear at this age. But Jessica couldn't help it; darkness concealed things and Jessica hated not knowing what was happening in the corners of her rooms. And most of all, she hated not being able to see her flowers clearly for they were her source of comfort. Reaching over to the windowsill, she pulled her book towards her.

It wasn't an ordinary book. There were flowers pressed in between the pages, conserved, delightful, comforting. She was flipping the third page when there came a knock on her door. She looked up, expecting Myungsoo, but was disappointed. It was the doctor.

"Good evening, Jessica," the doctor greeted. Jessica held her breath. "I have to deliver some unfortunate news for you." Uh-oh. It was a good thing her aunt wasn't here then, she didn't take the 'unfortunate news' well last time. "Your cancer seems to be developing at a rapid pace. We're trying all we can but there seems to be some abnormality. I think it's time to start chemo-"

Jessica wouldn't let him finish; she shook her head frantically. Chemotherapy meant losing hair and being in pain, both of which Jessica didn't find pleasing. She pointed at the door, signaling for him to leave. The doctor sighed. "Jessica, if we don't do anything, you'll die. If the idea of losing your hair scares you, we offer wigs for free to our cancer patients. In fact, I swear we have a wig that looks exactly like your hair."

Resisting the urge to puke, Jessica shook her head, looking back at her book. No way in hell was she going to willingly put herself through unnecessary pain, especially when no one was sure if chemotherapy would even help her. 

Myungsoo rested his head on the bed where his mother was still sleeping. Mute people have vocal cords that didn't function properly, or didn't work at all. That meant that mute people shouldn't be able to laugh, or, produce sounds when laughing. Jessica had laughed and when she did, you could hear something. It was faint, yes, but you could definitely hear something. At first, he thought it was his imagination- him wanting to hear her laugh, but he was sure that he had definitely heard something. 

Straightening up, he looked at the closed door. So Jessica wasn't mute? She must have something else. He couldn't keep pondering as there were rapid knocks on the door before it was pushed open, and the doctor he met with Raina entered. "I've finished diagnosing her," the doctor said, taking a seat on the bench. "Your mother has liver cancer." 

"Is she going to be alright?" Myungsoo asked, feeling sick.

"Liver cancer is one of the most common types of cancer. Based on the diagnosis, she has an enlarged liver and abdominal swelling. You've also noticed that she's been losing weight, yes?"

"What caused liver cancer?" Myungsoo asked, ignoring his question. "My mother was always healthy, I wouldn't have imagined she would get cancer."

"We actually don't know what causes liver cancer," the doctor replied somewhat sheepishly. "But she has hepatocellular carcinoma. This is the most common type of liver cancer."

"So she seems to have something you guys have seen before, right? You can save her, right?"

"We'll try our best, yes." Though, in the back of his mind, the doctor knew there was no chance. Her cancer had progressed far too much. 

In the morning, Jessica woke up, horrified, to the face of the doctor. "Good morning," he greeted. "We've talked with your aunt about chemo, and she's fine with it." Feeling rage explode inside of her, Jessica glared at the doctor. If looks could kill, the doctor thought. "I know that you're against chemo and you're old enough to make your own decisions, but the medical team has decided that you are not capable to make logical decisions."

So that's it, Jessica thought. They think I'm stupid, that I can't decide for myself anymore. This was one of the many occasions where Jessica desperately wished she could speak, shout, yell, scream. Instead, she looked over at her aunt, glaring. "Jessi, sweetie, you'll get wrinkles," her aunt said. 

Jessica rolled her eyes. As if she cared for trivial things like that. At that moment, Jessica knew what she had to do: she needed to get away from the hospital. She needed to leave. She'd read in one of the medical magazines that how you feel affects your medical condition. She obviously wasn't feeling peaceful and calm in this damn hospital. She was leaving. Biting on her bottom lip to prevent herself from smiling, Jessica nodded at the doctor.

It was clear that the doctor was confused. "You- you want to go ahead with the chemo?" the doctor asked, mystified that everything could clear up like that. Jessica nodded again. The doctor looked towards Jessica's aunt, grinning. "Excellent! I'll be back tomorrow with information-"

"That won't be necessary," her aunt interrupted. "Jessi and I are clear on what happens. Please begin as soon as possible." 

The doctor nodded slowly, debating on whether he should offer more information anyway. "Well, in that case, I'll be back at noon. Please rest until then, Jessica." When the doctor finally left, Jessica let out her breath. She glanced at her aunt and quickly looked away. She looked tired; anytime now, her aunt would fall asleep. She was aged and was in no condition to take care of a stubborn young adult. All Jessica had to do was wait until her mother was asleep. It would be rebirth after that. 

Myungsoo's thumb hovered over the "call" button; telling Raina that their mother had cancer would definitely freak her out. On the other hand, she would probably castrate him if he didn't tell her. Deciding that the worst she could do was die from shock, he finally pressed down. There were a few second's worth of ringing before he heard his sister's cool voice from the other end. "Hello?"

"Raina, it's me."

"Is everything okay? Is Mom going to be okay?"

"Well... here's the thing. She has liver cancer and the idiot doctor seems close to clueless on what to do. Why exactly did you choose this hospital? Were there not a million other better hospitals with better equipped doctors? I'm transferring her to another hospital ASAP. Raina? Why aren't you answering?"

"If you're transferring her a better hospital," Rania said slowly, "that means she's not healthy. She's dying, isn't she?"

"Of course not," Myungsoo lied. "I'm just, just trying to, er, get her better treatment."

"You wouldn't need better treatment if everything was fine, Oppa!" Raina said shakily, her voice getting shrilly. 

"Everything will be fine-"

"Don't you tell me everything is going to be fine! I told you I would stay in Korea! Now I won't even be able to spend the last few moments of the my mother's life with her!" 

"Raina, that's enough," Myungsoo said quietly. "You're not God, you don't know if she's dying. I'm going to go now, I think I see that idiot doctor coming." Myungsoo ended the call and looked out the window just in time to see Jessica get hit by a truck.

---A few moments before---

Jessica grinned to herself; even if she did happen to predict her aunt's sleeping schedule correctly, she couldn't believe that everything was going according to plan. Pulling the blanket away from her legs slowly, Jessica's toes touched the cold floor quietly. Slipping on her sneakers, she walked quietly to the bathroom, changing from the hospital gown to her own clothes. She returning to her room again, glancing at the sleeping figure of her aunt on the bench. She was sad that she wouldn't be able to carry all her flowers with her; instead, she picked off one of the alstroemeria stems with a flower attached at the top and left her room.

She already felt new, reborn, new. Who knew being rebellious could feel this good.

Jessica took the stairs to the bottom floor and, as expected, when the nurse at the desk spotted her, stopped her. "Jessica-shi!" the nurse called. "Where are you going?" Taking a piece of paper and a pen from the nurse's desk, Jessica explained that she was just getting fresh air and her aunt would be coming shortly. The nurse believed her.

Jessica couldn't believe that everything was going so smoothly. She even spotted daffodils plotted in the hospital's garden. 

And indeed, everything can't have been going so smoothly, for fate is not that kind.

In her glee of having escaped the hospital, Jessica ran into the middle of the street in ectascy, forgetting to glance at the crosswalk signal, which was red. When she did glance at the signal, it was too late. Of course, she knew that she had attempted to cross the streets when the signal wasn't green, but she didn't have time to fix her mistake. 

No, she didn't have time to fix her mistake as a truck collided into her and she didn't have much more time to think, or to feel, or to do anything. She was only aware of the alstroemeria flower in her hand.

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