4^th April 2010

 

It has been a year after the decided that the game is over. I try to cheer up myself. I don’t want to be alone. There should be someone who accompanies me. I’ll try my best to joke around, make a big laughter, making Tiffany and Jessica irritated, so I can have fight with them.

Then when I was in the dorm. Hyukjae-oppa called me. I frowned, its quiet long that we didn’t keep in touch. I received the call and he wants me to check the internet. He was in hurry. When I look, I saw my picture with Hyukjae-oppa. Exactly before they debut, when he wants to go with their single, Twins.

I called him back and asked what we must do. He asked me to go to the basement. I took my jacket and hat to hide my face. I go to inside his car.

“Oppa, how we can handle this?” he seems to be in thought too. Hours later, we shared our weariness and all the risk. We comforted each other.

“Hyoyeon-ah, let’s them know our relationship.”

“Oppa, it would be fan wars.”

“It won’t. Why it will be? We don’t even together.” Then that feeling comes again. The pain.

“Ne, we don’t even together,” I mumbled to myself.

Then the two of us go to SM building. We’re gonna talk about this with our manager. When we said that we will tell them that we had been dating before, our managers reject it. They said we mustn’t do that stuffs. We just have to stay quiet and ignored the issues. They said it will vanish by itself. I eyed Hyukjae-oppa only to see his reaction. He bowed his head and he feels that I look after him, he smiles and nods.

Well, I can say that our relationship turn to be friends again. Err, I’m not a liar, so I tell you that it’s hard enough. When I see his face, really you must know how much I want to punch that. I want to block his gummy smile. But then, I love to see those ing face and smile.

During this time, I repetitively invited to Sukira. One of his and Leeteuk-oppa radio’s program. Today, they invite me, Yoona, Doojoon and Kahee.

Around the show we got a lot of laughter. I can see Leeteuk-oppa really good in mixing words. He really has good-articulation. But, what the heck is this? Is Doojoon playing around with me? He repeatedly says that he loves me, loves the way I dance, the way I speak, the way I dresses. It’s really embarrassing.

“So, Doojoon-ssi, are you going to take Hyoyeon-ssi as your girlfriend?” Leeteuk-oppa asked. Oppa, really what kind of question is that.

“As if I could,” he said dramatically. Of course, you can’t silly. I have my heart out of there. I have put it in the dustbin maybe. Fine, you have to find that. I mumbled to myself.

I see him just chuckled and look his paper.

Another day, I have to tap in Strong Heart. Yeah, so why? Why he always on the top show? Of course it’s because the contract. Hyoyeon, don’t acts like a stupid.

There also G-Dragon, and other artists. When in the middle of recording, Hodong-sunbaenim asked G-Dragon to choose his ideal’s type. Then, the clip is playing, it shows Sooyoung’s photo. Woah, she must be dying in happiness if she watches it in the dorm later. But, suddenly the clip play again, then I saw my picture appeared on the clip. Wait? What? Me? Is G-Dragon losing his mind? I saw him pleaded ‘sorry’ toward a guy who sits not so far behind him. Is he apologizing to Hyukjae-oppa?

The recording is ended and I can’t be happy for everything else. I’m really tired and need to sleep. Lucky enough that the company gives the rest of SNSD member to get three days holiday off. I check my train’s ticket and smile. I want to go home. Incheon, I’m coming!

Then I saw him.

“Hyoyeon-ah!” I look at him and smile.

“What? Is there something you want to talk?” I asked to the point. I just don’t want to miss the train. Since this is the last train and I don’t in the mood to ride my car. It’s kinda tiring.

“Where do you go?”

“I must go to the station. Or else I will miss the last train.”

“Do you want to go to Incheon?” I just nodded my head. He grabbed my hand and takes me to his car.

“Oppa, wae?”

“I want to you to the station, it’s okay, right?”

I didn’t answer it, I just agreed.

Well, it’s not late. We have five minutes before the train comes. We take a seat and busy with our own mind.

“Finally it comes to be huge news.”

He finally speaks and I just stare at the railway. I smiled a bit and agreed at his speech.

“Why can’t we just continue that?” he asked with the little kid curious-tone. I eyed him in disbelief, so he wants to make this thrown heart comes to hurt again?

“It won’t,” I answered.

“Why?”

“It won’t.”

“Why?” he asked again.

“It won’t,” he eyed me probingly. Then the anger burns my cheek. Is he that heartless? Is he that stupid? God, please could you just throw him now?

“Hyoyeon-ah, is it true? Is it true that you have that kind of feeling towards me?”

He continued stare at me. It’s really annoying. It seems I can’t control my anger, feeling, and everything stupid stuffs. Luckily, the train is coming and I prepare to go. I stand up and reach the train’s door. I don’t want to answer his question.

“Hyoyeon-ah!” he reached my left shoulder, only to stop me. No, maybe he just too curious, is he thinks that he is indeed that handsome?

“Let go off me.”

“No, until I know the answer.”

“Please,” it’s the first time I used that word towards him. Gah.

“No.”

“…”

“Hyoyeon-ah.”

I turned around only to face him, “Fine. That’s true. I have that stupid feeling towards you. Yeah, I love you. You got it?” then the tears come again. I clap my hand on my forehead. On the other side, I feel something like weight take out from my body. It’s kind of lighter.

“So, do you have that too? Do you love me?” I asked when I found he just stood there. He didn’t say something.

“Fine. It’s okay. I’ll go. Take care on your way home, oppa,” I patted his right hand and go to the train. He is still there. Okay, I can manage it. Just give me a time.

A day after, I still arrange myself. I want to sleep all day. I don’t want to something. But, my mom keeps calling me to wake up. Aish, mom.

 I walk to my balcony and found the view is great. Yeah, that’s it. I found it teasing me, because I have the opposite feeling. Oh, don’t say I will dramatic today. Eww.

When I look around I found a glimpse of car. A known car. It supposed to be Hyukjae-oppa’s. Then I can see the owner sit on the car’s front engine, when his gaze meets mine, he smiles. He mouthed ‘Already wake up?’ I didn’t answer it, just eyed him probingly. Again, he just smiles. God, please take back that gummy-smile.

I go down stair and meet him. God, where could be that black around his eyes?

“Hyoyeon-ah, actually—“ I cut off his words as I wipe that black circle on his eyes. Just called me foolish, I can’t take my eyes of that annoying color.

“What have been you done?” I asked him with a little high-tone.

“I, I,” he stuttered. Lee Hyukjae, are you sleeping all night here? I asked him without speak it out. 

“Don’t say anything,” I grabbed his hand and take him to my house. It’s a bit risk if we still outside.

He meets my mom, actually my mom knows him very well. She has been known him since back we were trainees. Like me, mom also feels annoyed with his pale face, she asked me to take him to my room. Please, don’t get us wrong, my house is not that huge. It’s just has four rooms. My parent’s, my dongsaeng’s, mine, and the housekeeper’s. so, I take him to my room, since Hyungsan, my dongsaeng, won’t let his room to be touched.

I offered him to sleep, he rubbed his nape and smile coyly. I think he feels a little shy. Right, I got that.

“I’ll go down stair to help my mom. Just take a rest then,” I left him after see him nods.

It takes three hours before I go to my room again. Checking for him. God thing, he still sleeps. Look the way he sleeps, aigo, he is really like a kindergarten. With his palms wide open here and there, the blanket throws away. I fix up his palms and the blanket, then covered him until his chin. When I was about to leave the room, I feel like I don’t. I want to see the way he sleeps. I sit in the bed side. Unconsciously, my index finger touches his forehead, caress his eyelid, down to his cheek then his nose, when finally my finger reaches his lips.  I should not think this way! I’m not a ert! I take back my finger and feel these cheeks blushed. Goddamnit!

I quickly stand up and ready to leave the room, when suddenly I heard a voice.

“Hyoyeon-ah,” I looked back at him. There he already wake up and sit on the bed. What? Is he knows that thing? Please, no! Where I can put this face if he knows it?

He stands up and approaches me, who already grab the door knob.

“What?” I asked and have full attention on him. He comes closer and caging me with his hands. Suddenly, I feel my heart thump like crazy. Just shut up! You stupid thump!

“Just let’s make it clear. Hyoyeon-ah, saranghae,” he said without hesitant. He eyed me intensely. Even I can’t open my mouth to say at least a word. He comes closer and closes the distance. Really I want to kiss those plump lips, but it won’t work. I stopped him on the chest. He seems to be surprise with my action.

“Wae?” he asked and grabbed my hands with his right hand.

“Oppa,err,” feels like I can’t find the right words to describe.

“I know it! You want to reject me, right?”

“What?”

“Then what it will be?” I bit my lower lip as not to suppress my laugh. I do afraid about our relationship soon, I do afraid about fan wars if we got caught, and I do love him more than that weariness.

I got off from his grip and encircled my hands on his neck. I hugged him thigh, “I do afraid about the weariness. But, it won’t stop me to, to,” aish! How can be this is so embarrassing? Hyoyeon, it’s just ‘I love you’. But, I found it awkward.

“To?” he asked me playfully. I know he knows what I mean.

“Ya! Don’t play with me!” I barked as I released from his hug.

“Arasseo, arasseo,” he beamed and holds my waist.

Suddenly I feel uneasy with the way he looked at me, “What now?”

He didn’t answer just pointing his lips with his finger. I widened my eyes and shook my head vigorously.

“Ppalli!” he ordered. Really, what the?

I still shook my head and earning pout from him. okay, I'll fulfill it now. Really, Hyukjae, just now. Maybe?

I leaned closer and started to close my eyes.

“Hyoyeon-ah! What taking you so long? Come back now!” I heard mom calling me out, and held my head back. He released me and looking away, I can see those blushes on his milky white-skin.

“I’ll be there mom!” I reply and look back at him. He is still looking away.

“Oppa,”

“Hmm?” when he turned his face to me I quickly plant a quick kiss on his lips.

“Go fix yourself, then go down stair. The lunch already set up,” I said as I fix his hair up. He just nods and appears his famous gummy smile.

 

4^th April 2011

 

I can’t contact him, he was too busy with his MC-ing in one music program. Like him, I was busy too in my schedule. Actually, now, me and the girls in the middle of preparing our first Japan album. Don’t ask me how tiring it is, because it’s like you want to take off your bones and recharge it with the new one.

I saw Yoona on the corner of the room and holding her cell phone on her right ear. She rolled her eyes and clapped her free hand on her beautiful forehead.

“Arasseo, Ya! How could you be this stubborn? No! Don’t do anything stupid. Oppa, what kind of person you are? Mwo?” after debating with someone, she paused and seemed to hear what on the other line said. Then the silly grin appear on her beautiful face, then turn to be a pretty or stupid smile? I can’t compare that if it comes to Yoona.

She hung up and saw me who watched her before.

“Unnie, waeyo? You can’t call him, right? You miss him, right?”

Aish, this kid. I’m never think too far like she guess, but how could she guess it?

“You just have to call him, unnie.”

“Yoong, I think you have your brain dislocated.”

“Mwo?”

“That’s telephone from Kyu-oppa, right? Now what’s again? Look how angry you are, but just in a sec, your face turn to be a slice of tomato. Are you in jealous again?” I loved to . Now look, her face turn to be that slice of tomato again. Ha! Im Yoon Ah!

“Stop it, unnie. As if you don’t like that.” she pouted.

“Ya! I’m not like you!” I exclaimed.

“Look! Is that Eunhyuk-oppa who clinging to Jiyeon-ssi?” Yoona pointing at the TV. And the thing I know, I already call his manager. “Teel him to let go off that girl!”

 

4^th April 2012

 

He is abroad now. He and Super Junior held a concert in Paris, and I heard that it comes to be a success concert. I’m glad to hear that. It’s the day that supposed to be his birthday. I haven’t called him yet, then again, he is in busy.

I laid on my bed, when my phone ringing. It’s from him.

“Hyoyeon-ah!”

“Yeah,”

“It’s funny here.”

“Yeah,”

“I’m in the middle of the party.”

“Yeah,”

“Hyoyeon-ah, waeyo?”

“Ani, I’m okay. Have a nice day then. This is your birthday, congratulation. What gift do you want?”

“Just say you miss me.”

“Oppa, I miss you.”

“I’ll go back as soon as possible. Good night.”

“You have to. Good night too.”

He hang up. I stare at the phone. Am I too oblivious or possessive? It’s okay, because for that one certain monkey, I’ll really possessive.

 

4^th April 2013

 

I’m still on my bed, playing with my phone as the view outside has indicating that night will come anytime soon.

I look at the box that actually on the side table of my room and take that to my lap. I bit my lip as I am in the middle of thinking of how I will bring this box for that certain monkey.

You know, we’re sort of in the middle of fight through the misunderstandings that occur on the late day.

Suddenly my phone beeped and show me a familiar number.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Hyoyeon-ah, don’t you forget something?” my monkey there asked.

“Something like what?”

“Seriously, this is my birthday and the day will end soon! Don’t you want to say or give me something?” I bit my lip as to fight back the chuckles, I can perfectly imagine how this monkey pouting and whining.

“I thought you want to go with IU-ssi,” her name slipped out my tongue and I start to feel sorry. But, okay the root of our problem is still the playboy-wannabe, Hyukjae, who loves to spread kind of charming and caring loves towards cute and innocent hoobaes. And it triggers the tiger inside of me. I’m the owner of him. And look now, he seems not to see me.

I heard him sigh there, please God, don’t lead us to another set of fight.

“I think, this is not the right time, take care,” he end up and hung up. No! I’m positive that he got upset and I make it worse. Please, please, what should I do?

Panic, I phone Donghae-oppa and asked him where they are, fortunately they’re on their dorm. So, I make it to go to their dorm as quick as I can.

 

I arrived at their dorm and pushed the bell continuously. Great there is Sungmin-oppa who kind enough to open the door for me.

“Oh, Hyoyeon-ah?”

“Oppa, I need to see that monkey, is he at his room?”

“He went outside a while ago, maybe looking for some snacks?”

I baffled at the information, my brain went blank.

“Hey, you can wait inside you know. Or, you want to meet him? I think it’s on the ground floor.”

I smiled weakly and permit, I drag my feet towards the elevator on the corner of their dorm. I mentally slap myself and cursed just because this hell elevator don’t want to open.

I starting to fidget and when the elevator burst open, I see him there. His head hanging low and he wears a cap, he steps forward.

I don’t know, the things I know after is I hug him and make him surprise. He stiffens for a while, but as if he knows that is me, he hugs me back and kiss my temple.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that on the last phone. I, I really sorry,” I mumbled in his embrace, and I heard him chuckle.

I get off from him, and frown, “What?”

He holds back his chuckle, “I don’t know you can be this worry, but I kind of like it.”

“Shut up,” I said.

I avert my gaze and search for his box on my bag. Wait. I look on my bag and found nothing. Okay, what the hell is this?

“What are you searching for?” he asked.

“Your present.”

He doesn’t say anything, I don’t mind though. I am in the middle of searching of it and great! It must be left on my room because I tend to be hurry the time I went here.

I bit my lip and grip on my bag tighten, “Oppa, I think, err… the present—“ my words trailed off as he kisses me.

We parted and I found him smile. The gentle one.

“It maybe cheesy, but the moment I saw you I know you’re my best present I could get.”

I chuckle and encircle my hand around his neck as we shared another kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A/N : this is for all passion or hyohyuk shippers out there. comments are loved ^^