0.

It's the little things about Nam Woohyun that has Sunggyu falling for him. The way he always seems so damn cheerful. The way he's always smiling and laughing. Or the way he tilts his head to the right slightly when he's really listening to someone. He likes the contrast of Woohyun's tanned skin against his own snow white skin. The softness of Woohyun's lips against his.

Yes it's the little things that he loves about Woohyun. He hasn't told Woohyun that he loves him yet. But he likes to think that Woohyun knows. He knows his friends can see it at least. And he's never been good at hiding things from Woohyun.

Kim Sunggyu is falling. Fast and hard. He can't seem to find it in himself to really care.

2.

Sometimes he feels himself falling. Sinking rather into the depths of the earth he can feel the weight of gravity pushing him down ten times harder than it should be.

He's forever stuck in that one moment before he hits the ground that one weightless second where he's not quite started falling but neither has he truly stopped.

The falling sensation never really leaves but sometimes he can ignore it. Other times it is simply too strong to ignore. He feels it most keenly when Woohyun looks through him ignoring his existence. Or when Woohyun cries silently in the night and he can't comfort him.

Sometimes he feels less as if he's falling and more as if he's being pushed. Pushed quietly out of Woohyun's life. He hates that feeling even more than he hates feeling like he's falling.

3.

It's funny how easy it is to see that Woohyun has stopped loving him. He sees it as his pictures are slowly removed and his clothes purged from the closet. He sees it as Woohyun smiles at their mutual friends when they set him up on a blind date.

A blind date that goes too well. The girl is small and delicate and laughs genuinely amused by Woohyun's jokes. She is everything that he is not and he wants to scream because Woohyun takes her to their favourite ice cream shop. It's their place not hers. And before she goes home he sees Woohyun kiss her forehead and hug her tightly.

He feels the falling sensation intensify until it's almost impossible to withstand.

4.

He likes to sit on the rooftop some nights and look at the twinkling stars high above him. Sometimes he spreads his arms and for the briefest of moments Kim Sunggyu feels as though he's flying. Flying away from all his problems.

He lives for that brief second when he's freed. But always finds himself falling again within seconds.

5.

He misses the feel of Woohyun's skin against his, the warmth of his breath washing over his cheeks, the musky scent of his cologne.

He misses Woohyun. But Woohyun looks straight through him as always and he keeps falling.

He wants to touch Woohyun to tell him those three all important words. But Woohyun can't or won't give him the chance. So he just watches as Woohyun erases Kim Sunggyu from his life inch by inch. And he silently falls out of Woohyun's life.

6.

He stands silently on the rooftop resigned to letting himself just fall. His eyes close and he opens his arms slowly feeling the wind rushing past him suddenly and he opens his eyes in pure panic but he's still standing on the roof. Except Woohyun's up there now too.

"You used to love it up here." He says.

"I still do." But Woohyun doesn't even turn his head

"I told you that you were going to fall off one day." Woohyun's voice is choked up. "I didn't think...I didn't know it would end up being true."

He stands silently letting Woohyun continue. It's not a surprise to hear he's dead. He thinks he probably always knew. It's still shocking.

"I still love you. I tried so hard to tell myself I was getting over you."

"I love you too." He says even though he knows Woohyun won't hear him. He moves closer touching one hand to Woohyun's face.

Woohyun doesn't say anything. He just cries, big heart-wrenching sobs until he has no tears left. And he can only watch as Woohyun breaks down.

After a long silence he says softly. "I keep falling and I can't stop. I can't stop, Woohyun. Tell me how to stop." His own voice sounds watery and sad. "I just want to stop falling."

"I'm sorry, Sunggyu." Woohyun whispers and he throws something over the edge. A letter or photograph maybe. Sunggyu watches it fall until it's out of sight.

And then he closes his eyes and simply gives in to the feeling of falling. Because sometimes falling can feel just like flying.

1./7.

He's falling into nothingness. Or perhaps into everything, it's so hard to have perspective when you're dying.

Kim Sunggyu looks up at the stars as he falls knowing it will be his last moment to appreciate them. Somehow their twinkling soothes him. And then all of a sudden every single body part hurts, burning, stabbing, shooting pains that make it hard to breathe.

It's almost stupid how clichéd his thoughts are in those last moments. I don't want to go. I'm not ready for this. Or perhaps he's not thinking anymore. He can't even tell up from down in this position.

Somehow he thought death would be more momentous. But it's not. One minute he's there the next minute he's in the dark.