It seemed like it was just yesterday.

 

Debut days were like a distant dream.

 

Late at night when Taeyeon would be the last person to turn off all of the lights in the dorm and creep into her shared room with Yoona and Sooyoung, she would hear the two girls giggling under their covers. Her lips would form a small smile that only increased in size as they called out her name to join them.

 

Even though they were all relentlessly tired after a full day of scheduled events, from fan signings to a late appearance on a radio show, they still found the energy to roll around in their sheets and fool around on their beds. It was a necessity, to play with each other no matter how late at night it was.

 

It was a surprise that none of the other members burst into their room and told them to shut their mouths. It would have probably been accompanied by the tossing of pillows and throwing of stuffed animals.

 

Taeyeon let out an exasperated sigh and lied down with her limbs sprawled all over her single bed. Her tiredness was catching up with her and she could feel her eyelids becoming heavier by the second. The muscles in her back started to relax and she could feel a calm drift over her body.

 

Unfortunately, she was interrupted by a long and slim body throwing itself on top of her. Despite how slim the girl was, she was still double the size of the poor kid leader and thus made a great impact.

 

“Yah!” Taeyeon exclaimed as she struggled under Sooyoung’s weight, “What is the meaning of this?”

 

Instead of answering, Sooyoung looked behind her. Her eyes connected instantly with the equally mischievous ones of Yoona.

Before Taeyeon could ask again, Yoona leaped from her bed and landed on top of Sooyoung, crushing the eldest further.

 

Taeyeon let out a loud grunt and continued to squirm under the girls’ weight. Though she put much effort, her resistance was futile under the two other maknaes.

 

“We’re doing this because we love you, Taengoo,” Sooyoung explained as she wrapped her arms around the now still leader.

 

“A regular hug would’ve been good, Syoung,” Taeyeon replied almost as affectionately, sighing as Sooyoung rubbed her cheeks against Taeyeon’s.

 

Yoona wrapped her arms around Sooyoung and her hands reached Taeyeon’s sides as well. She rocked the two in her grasp, “This is much better!”

 

“You guys have too much energy at this time of night,” Taeyeon complained as she struggled to breathe under her giant friends. “Why don’t you go out for a bike ride or something? Yuri and Hyoyeon go early in the morning sometimes.”

 

And with that suggestion, Yoona and Sooyoung immediately got off the poor breathless leader.

 

“Biking!” The two exclaimed at once, giving each other a high five and jumping ever so gracefully out of bed.

 

“Don’t wake up the other members!” Taeyeon half yelled and half whispered as the two girls held hands and hurried out of the room.

“We won’t!” they whispered in unison, winking at the leader who was now alone and wrapped up in their covers.

 

“Don’t take too long!” Taeyeon called out again, now worrying about leaving the two girls alone. But they had shut the door behind them before they were able to hear her message.

 

Groaning from the remaining pain left by the two girls who had left her be, Taeyeon let out a sigh and closed her eyes. They would be fine, after all they had each other.

 

And thus started Sooyoung and Yoona’s habit of sneaking out at 3AM to go biking together at a nearby park. It was a general form of release, they decided. A release of tension from the pressure they had as a popular girl group. A release of stress from constantly working, morning until evening. It was a release of anger from unfair management or ridiculous antis. It was the girls’ escape into the late night from their glamorous yet burdensome lifestyles.

 

It started off being pretty easy to get away with. Many of the girls would sneak out anyway to go partying with friends, to meet a friend or a guy, or even just to eat out. Their managers were often worried about them, but as they grew older it was only a concern of whether they’d be recognized or not.

 

Even when their roommates had changed, the girls found their way around it because for Yoona, Sooyoung was the one she trusted and loved the most. It said much for she loved and appreciated each and every member with all of her heart. But her bond with Sooyoung? It was different, it was special from the very beginning.

 

When she switched roommates, she didn’t ask someone new to go with her. She and Sooyoung would text and meet up like usual.

Unfortunately, as they grew older it became harder and harder to accomplish.

 

Their schedules made it harder to coordinate, and often times the girls were too tired to even think about doing their usual nightly ride. They always used their extra or pent up energy to release themselves through their biking, but nowadays, the second they got home they would pass out on their beds and the next thing that happened was seeing Seohyun’s shining face trying to wake them up the next day.

 

On some nights, Yoona grew restless. She grew tired from the lack of sleep, from her anxiety and dangerously developing depression. She tried her best not to show it when she performed or on shows. But when she was in their dorm, her face revealed all.

The members often comforted each other and especially Yoona. As the visual of the group, she often faced the most hardships. Her anti fans were relentless, and netizens in general never missed an opportunity to bring her down. She always tried her best to be strong, to surpass their hateful words of discouragement and just become a better Yoona for herself, her member and her fans. But most nights she couldn’t take it.

 

So even when Sooyoung was exhausted from a long day’s work, if Yoona shook her awake to go biking with her, she did it with no complaints.

 

It usually started with Yoona crawling into bed with her. Sooyoung would wrap her slender arms gently around the girl and caressed her back as she felt her shirt go moist with Yoona’s tears. Some nights she’d even scream into her shirt and leave scratches in her back from the tension she released. And in the end, Sooyoung would wipe the younger girl’s tears and kiss her forehead.

 

“Let’s go?” she would say, squeezing the girl’s hand and gently leading her out of bed.

 

It had been six full years that the two girls did that very routine. It varied in order and in length, but it was generally the same. However, since the group began doing more individual activities, it became harder and harder for Sooyoung and Yoona to meet up for their nightly ritual.

 

Yoona started building up her negative feelings again, waiting and waiting for the opportunity to release herself in Sooyoung’s arms. But as the days passed, she grew more and more tired although she did her best not to show it.

 

It was 2AM when the rest of the members found their sleep. The next day they would be on their way to Japan to start their second arena tour. Sooyoung was finishing a cup of ramyun that she prepared for herself before sleeping. It was delicious as usual, especially when she had barely any time to eat throughout the day.

 

As the wet sounds of her slurping echoed through the empty kitchen, Sooyoung closed her eyes and savoured the remains of her food. It was simple, it was instant and it was good.

 

When the bottom of the cup was seen, she sighed and tossed the empty cup into the garbage. And with tired eyes, she watched it pile unevenly on the rest of the empty ramyun cups that remained there.

 

As soon as she was sure that it wasn’t going to fall over, Sooyoung walked quietly into the living room.

 

With a loud yawn, Sooyoung mentally made a note to just brush her teeth and go to bed. She knew that everyone else probably passed out for their last schedule in Korea was packed. A nagging voice in her head wanted to check up on Yoona and ask her if she was up for a bike ride that night since they hadn’t done it since their first day after their comeback, but she figured the girl was too tired. After all, it was Yoona who was the one who came to Sooyoung first. She had to let the girl rest well.

 

But as she walked by the living room to get to the hallway where their rooms were divided, Sooyoung could have sworn that she heard soft sobbing noises.

 

Instantly her face melted into an expression of concern. She squinted her eyes and scanned the dark living room for any signs of a shaking figure. Her ears didn’t deceive her as her eyes caught sight of a trembling slim girl, covering her face with her knees on the hard floor.

 

The pattern of her sobbing sounded much too familiar. Sooyoung knew who it was right away. After living with these nine girls together for over six years, she made note of how each of them cried. Tiffany was loud and relentless, letting every choke and sob be heard by everyone in the room. She held nothing back as she went through the tissue box like water on a summer day. Taeyeon however was the opposite, as she bit her lip in an attempt to hold herself back. Her hands often covered her face as she sobbed quietly. She would often turn away from anyone else in the room and shake herself until she was still.

 

The girl on the floor however had a pattern that Sooyoung had memorized since the first time she heard the girl cry. It always started off meek, with shallow and quick breaths accompanied by an overflow of tears. And then it transformed into cute little hiccups and gasps for air along with the shaking of her body. And then it turned into an onset of trying to keep calm and losing herself in a mess of blubbering and gagging on her own tears.

 

Sooyoung approached the girl slowly and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her towards her own body. She held the girl tightly and lovingly her long hair.

 

“Shh,” she whispered into the darkness as she started to rock the crying girl in her arms. “Yoong, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here. Just let it all out.”

 

Yoona could have recognized this embrace if her sight had been taken and nothing surrounded her but pitch black nothingness. She had memorized the feeling of Sooyoung’s body pressed against hers and the feeling of those slim arms around her waist. She grasped Sooyoung’s shirt tightly and sobbed violently into her shirt.

 

“I’m sorry,” she whispered amongst her tears, “I’m sorry you still have to deal with this.” Yoona continued as she laughed darkly at her own actions.

 

However, Sooyoung shook her head and wiped away the remaining tears of Yoona’s face.

 

“Shut up and let’s go.”

 

It was the end of January, so naturally it was pretty chilly. The wind was tame and it felt good against their sweat drenched skin from the long day. Yoona especially felt the element with her cheeks still stained with tears.

 

“Woooo!” Sooyoung screamed into the darkness, throwing her hands up into the night sky.

 

Yoona laughed at her unnie, the sound increasing in volume as Sooyoung almost lost her balance.

 

“Whoops!” Sooyoung focused a little so she wouldn’t trip and fall. Taeyeon and her manager would have ruined her if she fell over and injured herself.

 

As she sped up, she turned to see Yoona who had her eyes closed. was stretched into a lovely smile, exactly what Sooyoung was looking forward to seeing. It sent a tingle down her spine and awoke a familiar feeling in her heart.

 

“I missed this,” Yoona called out, opening her eyes and catching Sooyoung staring at her. She smirked at the instant blush that appeared on Sooyoung’s face before biting her bottom lip. “Thank you for bringing me out here again, unnie.”

 

Sooyoung winked at the younger girl before giving her a quick thumbs up, “It’s nothing, Yoona. I agree, it’s been way too long.”

 

The wind started feeling better with every minute that passed. The girls could feel it massaging their scalp and carrying some of their troubles away.

 

After a few more minutes, the two reached their usual spot. It was a huge tree in the middle of the park. Usually they would sit under it, Yoona sitting in Sooyoung’s lap as they stared into the night sky. However, the ground was frozen, so after parking their bikes, the two just stood under the tree and instantly found each other’s hands.

 

“It’s pretty,” Yoona mumbled, another smile forming on her face. She swung Sooyoung’s hand playfully and squeezed it repeatedly.

“I know I am,” Sooyoung replied confidently, earning a slap from the other girl. “What?~”

 

Yoona giggled in return and brought her other hand to play with Sooyoung’s slender fingers. Despite the coldness of the winter night, her hands felt warm in Sooyoung’s grasp. Surely, she felt the sensation often as they went from place to place and even when they were onstage, thanking their fans. But something was different about having Sooyoung all to herself in the middle of the night in the middle of a park. Their park, under their tree.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Yoona then asked, pulling the taller girl closer to her. She almost frowned when Sooyoung let go of her hand but felt absolutely ecstatic the second Sooyoung wrapped her arms perfectly around her shoulders. Despite the cold, Yoona practically melted under Sooyoung’s touch.

 

“Nothing in particular,” Sooyoung responded softly, tapping her fingers along Yoona’s neck.

 

“That tickles,” Yoona whined, twitching and squirming.

 

Suddenly, a mischievous smile dawned upon Sooyoung’s face and her hands began to roam Yoona’s figure. If her memory served her well, she knew exactly where Yoona was the most ticklish.

 

“S-Stop!” the younger girl cried as her knees became weak under Sooyoung’s attack. She almost fell over, but Sooyoung held onto the girl tightly. Despite her frail appearance, Sooyoung was strong enough to not let Yoona go.

 

Her laughter erupted into a roar since Sooyoung wouldn’t let down. However, the tall girl eventually lost her balance and the two girls fell to the cold ground in a fit of giggles.

 

When the girls finally composed themselves, Sooyoung was the first to get up. She reached her hand out to help her fellow member get up off the frozen floor. However, in a search for revenge, Yoona pulled Sooyoung back down and rolled her over and forced her own weight on top.

 

She pinned the girl’s hands down and sat on her stomach, smirking wildly at her surprised expression.

 

“Let your unnie go!” Sooyoung protested as she wriggled under Yoona’s tight grasp. She was resisting, but the smile on her face told Yoona that she was enjoying it.

 

“Nope,” Yoona replied, the smirk on her face stretching and her eyes challenging the girl beneath her.

 

“What can I do for you then, Yoong? The ground is so cold,” she complained, feeling the frost on the ground seep through her jacket.

Yoona thought through her answer carefully, holding her ground well as Sooyoung continued to squirm underneath her. Tonight she felt like being brave.

 

“Kiss me,” she offered. Her smirk transformed into a hopeful smile as her eyes gazed deeply into Sooyoung’s.

 

The girl on the ground instantly stopped resisting and hung open in surprise. At first she avoided Yoona’s gaze, unsure of how to answer despite knowing exactly how she wanted to answer. It was a sudden request, and although it was something Sooyoung honestly wanted for a long time, she couldn’t bring herself to say yes.

 

But Yoona couldn’t wait for an answer. Sooyoung finally looked back at Yoona and almost flinched when she noticed that she was almost three centimetres away from her face.

 

Her breath felt hot against her lips and Sooyoung suddenly forgot where she was. She started feeling dizzy and hated how Yoona was the one who initiated this. Sooyoung didn’t think it would be so soon, for she planned her first kiss with Yoona for a while now. And in her mind, she was the one who got to ask Yoona for the kiss.

 

But she had no more time to think, to even breathe when Yoona’s lips connected with her own.

 

It was soft and startlingly salty. Sooyoung closed her eyes upon the contact, but opened them the second wetness fell upon her face. Yoona was crying again.

 

However, as Yoona started pulling back, Sooyoung immediately connected their lips again. She needed it, she wanted to feel breath against her own, the sensation of Yoona’s lips against hers.

 

As she grew weak from her overwhelming feelings, Yoona eventually let go of her grip on Sooyoung and the girl pushed herself up. She held the other girl closer to her and continued to tenderly kiss her through her tears. When they ran out of air, Sooyoung brought up her hands to wipe the tears from Yoona’s face.

 

“Cry baby,” she whispered breathlessly, causing the other girl to giggle.

 

“Shut up,” Yoona retaliated, snuggling her face into Sooyoung’s shoulder.

 

Soon enough the girls were biking back to their dorm, a shy smile on both of their faces. Once again, Sooyoung was ahead of Yoona and when she looked back, their eyes instantly connected. They didn’t exactly voice their feelings, but they knew exactly what was confessed the moment their lips were pressed together.

 

The ride back seemed too short and as Sooyoung locked the door behind them, Yoona didn’t let go of her hand.

 

“I’m tired,” Yoona mumbled as she yawned dramatically. As usual, stretched wide as expected of the girl with the title ‘alligator Yoong’.

 

“I think I can see your stomach,” Sooyoung teased, earning a punch in the shoulder from Yoona.

 

After turning off the lights, Yoona led Sooyoung into her bedroom.

 

Sooyoung watched as the girl crawled into bed slowly. As soon she her back made contact with the bed, she groaned and remembered exactly how tired she was. She stretched her aching muscles and rubbed Sooyoung’s hand against her cheek.

Sooyoung pulled the covers over Yoona and gently placed a kiss on her forehead.

 

“Sleep well,” she whispered as Yoona her face affectionately. “I love you.”

 

The girl lying in bed stiffened at the words that came from Sooyoung’s mouth. She knew that the two exchanged those words before, but it was different that night. It wasn’t exactly in the tone that she said it, or the way she lovingly kissed her lips after saying those words. But it was the way that it concluded a night that Yoona needed so badly. She felt goosebumps creep up as she smiled back at the girl that was hovering over her. And she knew that with this, she could challenge their next concert with a full heart and a clear mind.

 

Grasping Sooyoung’s hand in her own and squeezing it before she quietly stepped out, Yoona kissed the back of it before whispering, “Love you too.”