There we were. Sitting alone on a bench in the neighbourhood park on a cold December evening. There was no awkwardness between us. We were pretty good friends. Yes, he had better friends, but he could make do with me for the time being.
      It was around 6:30 p.m. My other friends had already returned back home. We decided to stay back for some time.
He would be shifting to Osaka after two days anyway. I wanted to spend more time with him. I knew I was going to miss him a lot.
A  lot.
But I suppose he never knew that. Blissfully ignorant, yes that’s what he was.
      I never knew it was going to be this cold and all I had on to protect me from the severe cold was a thin sweater. Damn! I wish I knew it’d be this cold! He understood that I was feeling cold, so he offered me his woollen cap, which I gladly accepted.
I smiled. He gave me a foolish grin. Oh how I loved that grin of his!
“Tell me, are you going to miss me when I’m gone?” he asked.
“What do you think?” I asked playfully.
“Ah! I don’t think you will! You never seemed to like me much!” he said teasingly.
Idiot.
“So after three years of friendship, this is how you look at it?”
“Just kidding!” He winked. “But seriously, will you miss me?”
“More than you could ever imagine.” He missed my voice cracking at the end.
Silence.

The cold breeze kept on blowing ceaselessly.
 I shivered.
“You still cold?” He asked.
“No dude, I’m on freaking vibration mode!” I said sarcastically and rolled my eyes.
“I was just being nice….And anyway I’m feeling cold as well!” and he put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards himself and kept me almost glued to him.
 “There you go!! We won’t feel cold anymore!” he said with a sense of child-like victory.
I was shocked, but I gathered my thoughts and mumbled a faint acknowledgement for his concern because all I was worried about was him getting to know that I was blushing way more than usual. Slowly, I cuddled up a bit beside him. It felt good. He was nice and warm.
“Making moves, are you?” I asked teasingly.


“You’re a really sweet person, do you know that?”, he said.
I turned to my side, and looked at him curiously, and taken aback by the utter proximity of our faces, I almost gasped. I realized he had really pretty eyes for a man.
“What’s with the sudden compliment eh?” I asked.
“I’m serious. You’re a really sweet person. Nobody’s ever told you that?”, he said, looking slightly surprised.
“Not really.”

We fell silent. The only sounds which could be heard were the soft rustle of leaves due to the cold winds blowing about and an occasional screeching of a bat. We got stared by a few people who mistook us as couples and seeing me a tad worried about that, he told me not to bother about it.
His hand accidentally brushed the nape of my neck and I shuddered from the contact. His hand was very cold.
“Dude, you okay? Your hand’s so cold!” I asked worriedly.
“Yeah. More or less okay. But I got to admit, it’s pretty cold today…” and he trailed off.
“Wait a moment”, I said and gathered some courage, and held his palm which was around my shoulder, and held it sheepishly.
He looked at me, wide-eyed with surprise. He definitely did not see that coming. He smiled a crooked half-smile. I felt my cheeks warming up again and I looked the other side.
“Better?” I asked.
“You bet. Your hand’s nice and warm.”

We sat like that, for some time, talking about whatever came to our mind.

Idiot. Just say it! Just say it.

“Minho, before you leave, there’s something you must know. Something I’ve hidden from you from all these years.”
“Ooooh~ Is it some sort of a secret? Oh my God! Or maybe some adult stuff! Did you like, secretly watch or something?” and he guffawed.

Shut up! Shut up! Don’t make it harder for me! How thick skinned are you Minho?

“Shut up!!! I did NOT watch ”, I screamed at him, and I turned the other way, angrily.
“Yah, Jagi—“, and he stopped.  I was shocked, but I didn’t show it. He was actually going to call me “Jagiya”.
 I pretended I didn’t know the meaning of that word.

No. This is unfair.

“Hey I was just kidding, now what were you going to tell me?”, he asked me again, this time, he was serious.
I gathered my courage. It was now or never.
“Minho, don’t hate me after this, but I like you. I love you. I’m sorry. It’s not like you have to love me back or anything, but I just thought that I should tell you how I feel. I’m sorry. This shouldn’t have happened, but I just can’t help it okay?” and my tears started to flow, despite my efforts at trying to hold them in. “This is so weird alright? Please don’t be awkward with me after this. Even though I know you can’t love me, and that’s totally normal, I just want you to—“ and I felt his warm lips against mine.
There was no noise.
All I could feel was his lips, moving in unison with mine. Soft, delicate.
He broke away.
“How stupid are you? How blind are you? “, he said, almost desperately, wiping away my tears with his hand, and I could only cry more.
Cursed tears.
He gave me the warmest and tightest hug ever, and cupped my face in his hands, and kissed me again, passionately.
 Our Paradise for a few moments. Our heaven for a few moments.

Curse me. I was wrong about everything all along.
 
My first kiss, and my last with him.
I don’t know. I guess it was meant to be this way.