AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hey guys, finally this is up! I won't say that it's very good because I'm not very satisfied with it but I've tried okay! So I'm sorry if it's not up to your standards! 

The '*****' represents a change of point of view so that you guys don't get too confused. 

And...I have honestly never watched Peter Pan before so I don't know the exact storyline I'm just gauging it from the song so sorry if there are any mistakes about that!

Lastly, I just hope you enjoy it yeah? Upvote if you liked it yeah? thanks guys! ^^

PS. Song inserted halfway was "Just Give Me a Reason - Pink" 

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I was sitting in the van with the members as we were on the way to Incheon airport for our US schedule. It has been 2 years since everything happened, I thought as I looked out of the misty window while fondling the couple ring that I never found the courage to remove. As we entered the airport, screams erupted and we were surrounded by fans and flashes, all we could do were wave and smile amiably while walking into the departure gates. As I sat in my seat, I plugged into my iPod and listened to the one song that has been on replay: Peter Pan.

I remembered how you used to love watching Peter Pan, and how you loved to imitate Tinkerbell and recite every single line of the movie because we watched it on every Movie Monday without fail. I had participated in the lyrics composing of this song, and as the song flowed through my ears I could almost see the memories still fresh, lingering in my mind every single moment of the day. I was enjoying the movie-like memories, but with every rise there would be a fall, and I recall that faithful day when I found an empty abode, and all you left with me was a note and echos of your broken heart. I ended up selling the apartment and moving back into the dorm because I couldn’t take the irony of how loud the quietness is whenever I go home.

There was no more squeaks of coffee brewing in the morning when I wake up, no consecutive sniffs in the middle of the night when it was cold and no more tinkling laughter when Gag Concert was airing on the TV.

As usual, I took out a piece of paper and wrote out my feelings and possible lyrics and slot it back into my folder, ready to purchase a postcard to attach it with as I have done whenever I had an overseas schedule. It became a habit after you left, because you had always wanted to travel overseas and conquer the world, but we never had the time to do that, so I figured I would do it for you instead, not that you would ever be able to see what I wrote.

We reached LAX earlier than I thought, and I was strolling along with my members, mentally preparing to the scene that awaits us. The moment we came out of the gates, I was knocked off by a sea of fans and thank god for luhan hyung who stabled me.

We squeezed past all the fans, trying to smile our friendliest smiles even though we were all suffocating among them. However, a small distance away, I caught sight of someone’s back view. She had long wavy brown hair with rainbow tips, and somehow her back view felt very familiar. What really caught my attention was the lilac colored scarf that was wrapped loosely around her neck. My heart skipped a beat. Is it possible for you to be here? No one else should be having that lilac scarf that I clearly remembered spending 1 whole week knitting 3 years ago. Before another thought could go into my head, I was pulled by the maknae up into the van and we were off to our schedule which kept me busy until late at night.

Even though it was already near midnight, and we had an early schedule tomorrow, the boys insisted on going out to experience the nightlife of Americans, which is ironic, because we ended up at Koreatown.

*****

I sat by the bar area with my raspberry tea in hand, waiting for my usual slot to perform as the singer of the night. It started off as a part time job to help raise living expenses, but after a while I started to enjoy singing in this small secluded pub in a corner of Koreatown and I also met a few close friends because of this. There was around 15 minutes before my slot, so I decided to get some calming tea to prep myself. Even though I’ve been doing this for a few months, I can’t help but feel nervous before the performance.

Suddenly Saera ran up to me squealing. Saera is my coworker, who is 2 years older than me, but mentality wise, I think I’m the older one.

“Yes Saera which cute guy did you check out again this time?” I asked nonchalantly.

“It’s not just one cute guy, it’s 12!!!” she squealed and jumped around, making me spill some of my tea in the progress.

“Hey watch it! And 12, really?” I tried to salvage whatever I had left in my cup and decided to just give up and faced her.

“Yeah!! Apparently they are some super famous Korean group!! Emo or something?”

Emo…..? 12 members? Korean? I certainly don’t remember any group with such a name….unless its-

“EXO!!!! UNNIE EXO IS HERE!” Ann came running to us excitedly. Ann is another coworker and she is one year younger. And if you couldn’t tell, she is totally into kpop. But that wasn’t the point.

I froze the moment I heard it. Exo is here? In LA? In the pub that you work in? My brain had somehow decided to stop working for that few minutes until I heard Ann and Saera squeal again. I woke up from my trance and looked in the direction that they were pointing at. Indeed, the 12 boys had just settled down in a booth in front of the stage. The very same stage that I would be singing on in about 5 minutes. I started to panic and tried to find ways to escape but I decided that there was no way I could escape. So I gave in and trudged up the stage with I guitar and started setting up.

I heard gasps from beneath but I didn’t dare to look so I pretended that I didn’t hear anything and continued setting up. I then settled down on the bar stool in the middle of the stage and looked everywhere but the table where I felt 12 pairs of eyes staring. I took a deep breath and started to sing.

*****

All Baekhyun could do was stare up on stage while you sang.

Right from the start
You were a thief you stole my heart
And I your willing victim
I let you see the parts of me
That weren't all that pretty
And with every touch you fixed them
Now you've been talking in your sleep
Things you never say to me
Tell me that you've had enough
Of our love, our love

He could feel the strong emotions behind her voice, and guilt that have been building up since that day flooded him and unknowingly a tear slipped. She sang with extra emotions tonight, as memories flooded back into her mind and by the time she finished she was tearing too. She quickly bowed and excused herself off the stage after the performance.

*****

“Are you okay?” Saera asked worriedly.

I gave her a smile and assured that I was fine and I was just a little too nervous tonight.

“OMG UNNIE THIS IS FOR YOU!!! OMGOMGOMG!!!” Ann literally screamed as she ran to me. She pushed a small serviette right into my face and I had to pull it off her grip and stared before I found a note on it.

‘Meet me outside in five.’  

I recognized the handwriting and gulped before I excused myself and slowly walked out. I took a deep breath and looked around.

“Hey.”

I turned and smiled, “hey oppa.”

Suho stood at the sideway and smiled while I stood at the entrance awkwardly, not knowing what to do since it’s been some time since we met.

“What, you’re not gonna give your favourite oppa a hug after not meeting for so long?” He raised his eyebrow playfully. I broke into a relieved smile and gave him a big hug.

“You know, my favourite oppa is still Jongdae oppa though.” I snickered while pulling away.

“What?! I thought it’d change after so long.” He silently grumbled while I broke into a hearty laugh.

“So oppa, what are you guys doing here?”

“We’re having schedules for our comeback, I’m hurt that you don’t know about that.” He pouted.

“Oppa….you know why I don’t keep updated with these,” I sighed.

He smiled sadly and sighed too, “Yeah, but don’t you think it’s time to do something about it? It’s been 2 years, and we all know that something needs to be done.”

“I know……how’s he?”

“Well….let’s just say he’s not as cheerful as before.” I sighed. Saying that I have no more feelings for him would be a lie, but some things aren’t that easy.

“I don’t know oppa….I just, it’s not that easy you know?”

“I get it, I get it. Hmm, here, give me your number and we’ll keep in contact alright? We’re leaving the day after tomorrow though, so…” I gave him my number and gave me a hug and smile before excusing myself back.

I lied on my bed, looking up at the ceiling filled with glow-in-the-dark stars. We used to have it on our bedroom and I became so used to the faint glow that I couldn’t sleep in peace until I bought 10 sheets of them at Walmart and filled up the ceiling. I let out a faint sigh and wondered over what would be the right thing to do. A part of me just wants to run into his arms and give him a hug, but another part, a bigger part of me, was afraid. What if it was just a cycle? And everything would fall apart again? I couldn’t risk another heartbreak by the same person. Many thoughts filled my mind as I drifted into a dreamless sleep.

*****

The next morning, you were lazing at home with a bowl of buttered popcorn on your lap while you surfed the channels trying to find something decent to watch. You stopped pressing the button when you spot 12 familiar faces on your big screen. Kris was explaining their new album concept in English and you couldn’t help but laugh when the cameras shifted to the eleven other members who just smiled and nodded their heads with a few “oooohs” and “oh yeah that’s right”.

A song started playing, and you recognized it as their new song because you could recognize their voices but not the tune. It was something about Peter Pan and Neverland, and you were hooked to it instantly partially because it was adapted from your favourite fairytale.

After the song ended, Baekhyun started talking.

He started off with some awkward English introduction but gave up and switched to Korean instead. You listened intently and your jaws went slack because he said “In this new album xoxo, I have participated in the lyrics of this song, which is Peter Pan. This song is about a man describing a girl as if they were part of the fairytale Peter Pan and how he can’t forget her even after they have separated and he longs to reunite again.” The host then boldly asked, “Well, if you had written these lyrics, am I safe to say that it is relatable to your personal experience and feelings?”

Your heart pounded as you anticipated his answer. “Yes.” was all it took for you to grab your phone off the coffee table and dialed Suho’s number. Your palm started to sweat while the other line was ringing.

“Hello?”

“Oppa where are you guys right now?”

“…….”

“Oppa?”

“We’re….at the hospital.”

You stunned and stuttered, “W-why are you guys there?”

You heard a sigh and felt him hesitating before he replied meekly, “…Baekhyun got into an accident, but”

You hung up the phone, grabbed your keys and ran out of the apartment in your oversized baseball tee and leggings, almost forgetting your shoes.

You started the engine of your car then realized that you didn’t know which hospital he was in. You called Suho again and asked him which hospital they were in. You hung up again and rushed to the hospital.

You burst through the hospital doors and ran to the reception counter. You asked for the room number and went straight for the stairs even though the room was on the 5^th floor. You ran till you found the room you were looking for ‘0506’ and almost knocked down the door and rushed in only to see 12 of them laughing hysterically before turning to you in shock.

You took a few seconds to catch your breath before asking, “What’s going on?”

Sehun looked at you and said, “Noona, we should be asking you that question since you were the one who decided to burst in with pajamas and opposite shoes.”

You looked down and realized that indeed, you wore your shoes on the wrong side. You quickly swopped it back and asked “Why are you guys so calm? Suho oppa told me that Baekhyun got into an accident!”

Chanyeol snickered and said “Yeah, he did get into an accident. By falling off his bike and fracturing his arm BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!” and all of them burst out laughing again.

You froze for a moment and glared at the leader, “YAH WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME THAT JUST NOW!?”

Suho put his hands up in defense and said “I tried, but you hung up on me twice before I had the chance to.”

You sighed and suddenly you just felt stupid and down. “Forget it, I’m going back.” You turned around to leave when a hand stopped you.

“Since you’re here, I think you guys have things to solve,” Lay said before gently dragging you back into the room. Then the 11 of them retreated to the cafeteria downstairs.

“So…….” The two of you awkwardly stated at the same time. You sighed and moved closer to the bed.

“How are you?”

“I’m..fine I guess just a fractured arm, but everything’s alright….now that you’re here,” he mumbled the last part.

You sighed again, “that’s good I guess, then I’ll be going.” He grabbed your arm to stop you from leaving.

“Baekhyun…”

“I’m not fine okay! My arm might be fine but my heart isn’t! It hasn’t been fine for the past 2 years because you weren’t with me! Because there wasn’t anyone to call me baek oppa, or jagiya or yeobo, because there wasn’t anyone to cuddle with me on cold rainy days, because there wasn’t anyone who would comfort me when I got home feeling sad and lonely, and because there wasn’t someone for me to make an apology about how I’ve been a douche in the past!” his voice quivered and you turned around to see tears flowing profusely down his cheeks.

“I’m really sorry. For the past two years all I’ve been wishing is for you to come back, and for you to realize how sorry I am because I realized how wrong I was. And I-I just-“ he didn’t continue, because he started sobbing while you stared at him with tears in my eyes. All your life that you’ve known him, he had never cried. At least not to the extent of sobbing uncontrollably. He once told you that he wouldn’t cry before you because he would feel weaker and that you would think that he was too weak to protect you. Your tears started rolling down too, and before he could react, you flung your arms around him and hugged him tightly.

*****

We stayed like that until our sobbing ceased. We slowly broke apart, stared at each other and started laughing heartily. Like we didn’t spend two years away from each other, like I never moved out, like we never had any arguments. I looked into his doe eyes and he started to lean closer. An inch apart, he whispered, “I’m sorry and I love you baby,” and gently placed his lips on mine. I felt alive again, and the sparks flew as we kissed.

I pulled apart and said, “I love you too, my eternal Peter Pan,” and kissed him again.