Donghae's POV :

I honestly feel like ; why couldnt I defend him ; protect and save him like ive always wanted to do ? i felt helpless so i started crying ; whats the point of loving someone if you cant be with them ? if you cant tell them you love 'em and hear them saying it back ? if all you can do to them is hurting them ? because im a coward thats why

after what it felt like years of crying  ; Sungmin my cousin and the one who knows truly everything came into my room and started patting my back 

'Stop crying DongHae ; you should man up and go help him " he told me

' im doing the right thing ; he needs to hate me Sungmin ; and i guess hes getting there ; you didnt see the look he gave me earlier ; god how much i hate myself ; he was waiting for me to defend him but i did nothing ; why did i fall in love with the saddest boy on earth?' DongHae said and started crying again ; remembering the look of hatred HyukJae shot him just before leaving

'I know you think you're doing whats best for him ; but he needs to know the things you do for him ; getting beatten up for him ; sending him letters ; buying him medecines ; watching him from afar and the other things too  god DonHae you even bought a ring and wanted to propose to him '

'what good will that do me ; I just hope that he gets better ; the doctor told me that the medecines are enough for now ; but he needs a heart transplant or sthg i swear im willing to give mine to him with no hesitation '

'shuuu ; your dad is coming ; he better not hear you talking about him again ; we dont want to reminisce that memory again '

'i dont care ' 

'oh yea you dont 'sungmin said and i can feel the sarcasm dripping from his mouth' if you didnt then why arent you with him yet?'

and to that i didn't know how to respond . 

'Donghae ; you're my little brother i love you and everything but youre hurting yourself and him ; youve loved him for 7 years and now that you know he loves you too ; you cant just let him go ; dont care about that damn thing your dad wont do a just fight for your love' Sungming said smiling

'i guess youre right ; i think ill confess and apologize and see if he doesnt hate me yet' i said feeling hopeful all of a sudden 

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