It's the right thing to do, Chanyeol tells himself as he stuffs the last of his things, (phone, mp3, a book, should he pack something to eat too?) into his backpack.

He only has his ragged blue backpack left to take with him on the plane, since most of his stuff are already waiting for him in his brand new apartment on the other side of the ocean along with the job of his dreams in a city he used to see only on the movies.

It's far, but dreams sometimes take you far, and Chanyeol thought himself to be brave enough to chase after this one. Even if it meant leave other dreams behind.

(...because Chanyeol can't forget about bits and pieces of a life he could have now if only he were brave enough to stay...)

A knock on his door startles him. He takes in the small figure of a man he knows almost like himself, if not better and smiles. The late autumn sun makes him squint his eyes and as the man laughs. Chanyeol smile drops a bit.

“So, are you ready for America?” Kyungsoo slides into his room and Chanyeol's stomach clenches when Kyungsoo closes the door behind himself.

“Better ask if America is ready for me” he retorts effortlessly, easily, like he is not debating with the biggest skeleton he has hidden in his wardrobe all these years.

Now he has to decide if he wants to take it with him, far far away and bury it again or if he should just leave it here. Chanyeol feels guilty because he kept lying to his best friend for so long he doesn't know how to begin to tell the truth. Because it's easier to hide the ache behind a smile rather than spill, especially when Kyungsoo is pressed into his side laughing, or when they used to share a stolen pack of cigarettes back when they thought smoking made people cooler, or when Kyungsoo used to sing at the top of his lungs when they took his father's car to the beach.

Kyungsoo sits on his bed, motioning for Chanyeol to do the same. He has that look on his face, the one he wears before a recital, the one Chanyeol would like to smother with the tip of his fingers, brush away with kisses.

“You know I'll miss you, right?” Kyungsoo asks, looking at his hands, that came to rest on his thighs.

“Yeah, me too” Chanyeol manages to say, trying to shallow down the rock that lodged itself in his throat. <