Title: My Little Green Monster

Pairing: Jongin x Kyungsoo

Rating: PG

Theme: Fluff, Romance

Word Count: 2064

Summary: Kyungsoo knows it's all an act but it doesn't stop the ache that poisons his thoughts and plagues his heart. Why did Jongin have to be the group's face anyway? They could have picked Chanyeol to act the part, but no, it had to be Jongin. Stupid Jongin.

Noises in the film set engulfs Kyungsoo’s senses. He looks but doesn’t see. All he sees is green and more green.

Kyungsoo likes to think that he’s a calm and reserved person. He likes to show everyone that he’s capable of distinguishing his personal life from his work. 

What he didn’t take into account is that the mind might be willing but the heart is unrelenting.

The comeback is drawing nearer and nearer as each day passes, and comeback means a new music video, which in return equals to Jongin having to act as the face of the group once again.

The group’s been informed on what the video’s going to be about, how the scenes are going to be played but it still doesn’t stop the impact from coming as Kyungsoo watches the interaction between Jongin and the lead girl. It doesn’t stop the insecurities from combusting by the sheer scripted kiss Jongin enacted.

Kyungsoo knows it’s all an act but it doesn’t stop the ache that poisons his thoughts and plagues his heart. Why did Jongin have to be the group’s face anyway? They could have picked Chanyeol to act the part, but no, it had to be Jongin. Stupid Jongin.

Kyungsoo must have plastered a disturbing look on his face since he can see Sehun look at him worriedly by the sidelines. He sighs drastically and scolds himself internally. He’s an adult for crying out loud.

“Are you okay?” A hand pats him by the shoulder. Kyungsoo turns to the person’s way and was greeted by an apprehensive looking Lu Han.

“Yes, hyung, I think I’m just tired,” He fibs but is met with a ‘do-you-think-I’m-an-idiot’ glare. He sighs once again.

“You know, your luck’s decreasing each time you sigh so I suggest you stop that.” Luhan relaxes his shoulders in defeat and pulls Kyungsoo away from the scene.

If Kyungsoo had looked behind him, he would have seen Jongin glancing longingly across his direction and glaring at their Chinese hyung.

------

“Kyungsoo,” Lu Han starts, “you know you can always come to me for advice, right?”

Kyungsoo nods but doesn’t speak, he is resolute in just watching the intricate pattern of the rug beneath his feet.

Lu Han holds the younger by the chin, making Kyungsoo’s gaze up to par with his. “It’s just an act, it’s not real. The girl has a boyfriend too.”

Kyungsoo’s eyelashes flutter halfway down as he stares at the floor once again, “I know. My mind comprehends but my heart…”

Lu Han takes his hand and tightens the hold, “Doesn’t empathize?”

The older stares softly at him, much like how an older brother would watch a younger sibling experience a woe so familiar to their own. “It’s okay to feel that way, you hear me? It’s okay.”

Kyungsoo’s lips quiver slightly but he holds it in. He shouldn’t let his negative feelings get the better of him. His Xiao Lu hyung is right, it’s all just a damn act.

Lu Han observes the feelings fleeting through the younger’s face and smiles in understanding. Kyungsoo finally came in term with his jealousy. Before the older could help it, he embraced Kyungsoo, fully unsuspecting to the murderous aura aimed at his way.

They are fully standing in the eye of the storm right now.

------

The facts are laid bare and sprawled in front of Kyungsoo yet he can’t put his heart at ease. The kiss scene replays over and over again in his mind, reeling his dark thoughts into light again. He doesn’t know what to think of anymore.

The scene is so vivid and tangible in his head that he doesn’t miss the way the girl’s surprised look held mirth and a spark of glee in them. He suspects it might be the overwhelming sensation of an idol kissing her cheek that brought forth such joy; however, it doesn’t change the condition of his gradually turning black heart.

A few days already passed after the scene and Jongin’s acting more sweeter and sweeter towards him, whether it’s an attempt to comfort him he doesn’t know, and it eases the pain a little before the dull ache jumps in again to slap him in the face.

------

Insecurity after insecurity continues bubbling inside him that he results into distancing himself from the main dancer and in turn confides his emotions to Lu Han.

He doesn’t miss the moody state he had caused on Jongin but he can’t bring himself to confront his lover when he feels bad about feeling this way even though he knows it was just Jongin doing his job. He can’t shake off the horror he felt once he learned of the little green monster residing in him. He’s the older one in the relationship yet here he is acting immature and childish about a petty thing.

He should have been happy that at least the kiss was done on the cheeks and not the lips. If they so much had a lip on lip contact, he would have already killed everyone on the set, the director and producers included, and SM be damned.

------

The group can feel the tension lingering in the air but they can’t bring it upon themselves to interfere since this is the Kaisoo couple they’re talking about right here. They will pull their shit together.

They always do.

However, not the same can be said to the deer hyung, especially when Jongin might as well have murdered him with such fierce glares.

It happened on a bright afternoon, a week after the kiss scene, when Lu Han dragged Kyungsoo away from their dorms that the cord of the tension starts to thin and break, almost near releasing such a powerful storm brewing their way. It only needs a little force for it to snap.

A bewildered Kyungsoo stares at his hyung, shock apparent in his eyes. “What is it, hyung? What’s wrong? Why did you suddenly drag me out here in the café?”

“Kyungsoo,” Lu Han bites his lower lip a bit. “You know I love you as a dongsaeng, right?” Lu Han’s answered with a wary nod.

“And you trust me, right?” Another nod. “Well, as much as I like how you’re coming to me for advice and all, I think you should really talk it out with Jongin.”

Kyungsoo lowers his head, “I know, hyung. I’m not jealous or  anything anymore, if that’s what you’re implying but…”

“But…?” Lu Han motions the younger to carry on with his thoughts. “But what is it?”

“I’m mad at myself,” The younger finishes in a meek voice.

“What…?”

“I’m mad at myself because I got jealous over such a petty thing. I mean, it’s so ridiculous! Jongin was just doing his job and I should respect that, but I can’t bring myself to stay clear of the negativity. Because, what if he realizes I’m not good enough for him? What if he realizes he can have anyone he wants that’s so much better than me? What if― what if he realizes he doesn’t want me anymore?” Kyungsoo looks up at Lu Han, eyes glossy with unshed tears and unspoken doubts.

Lu Han’s eyes soften with sympathy and understanding. Kyungsoo’s just a boy with insecurities befitting to that of anyone else’s. He’s just a boy who knows and follows his heart with such determination and strength, but with his strong character also came his weaknesses.

He’s a beautiful boy who’s young and in love, and afraid of the hurt that comes with love.

“Oh, Kyungsoo. It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay and you have to believe that.”

Lu Han rouses from his seat, garnering confusion from Kyungsoo. “Where are you going, hyung?”

The older merely smiles at him and pats his back as he slowly walks away. “I don’t think you need me here anymore. Besides, Jongin might kill me if I stayed any longer with you while he’s standing behind you. I’ll see you later at the dorm.”

Kyungsoo looks behind him and, true to Lu Han’s words, sees Jongin standing confidently in his dark hoodie and acid washed jeans. “Jongin.”

Jongin’s eyes darken as he squints at Kyungsoo. He took long strides towards the older until he’s seated across him. 

“Hyung.” Kyungsoo fights hard to stop the shiver running down his spine as Jongin spoke in his chocolate, velvety voice. 

“Did I hear it right?”

Kyungsoo gulps, anxiety gnawing at him like a venom spreading throughout his whole body. He wants to badly bolt away but he also knows he needs this. 

“Yes.” He said it so softly he deemed that Jongin might have not heard him, though, judging by the way Jongin stiffens, it might not be the issue.

Jongin exhales a breath so loud it rattles Kyungsoo, staring wide eyed at the defeated looking main dancer. “Jongin?”

Jongin rakes his hair and palms his face, he looked so tired. “Hyung, it’s okay to feel jealous. You have every right to, but couldn’t you have told me instead? I’ve been feeling so restless all week ever since you started avoiding me.”

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo fidgets, a habit he always does when he feels pressured. “I just didn’t want to burden you. It was a stupid thing.”

Jongin groans. “Hyung, what don’t you understand? I’m your boyfriend and you’re mine. It’s okay to feel possessive, there’s no helping it. I just wished you came to me to talk this out. Don’t you know how edgy I’ve been? You kept going to Lu Han hyung and it kills me all the time I see you walking his way but not mine. I mean I’m okay with you talking to him, since I know you’re close and all, but did you have to leave me out of the picture? You know you can always depend on me, I can help lessen the burden for you.”

Kyungsoo bites his lip, he feels horrible that Jongin felt left out and unloved. He had been selfish, only thinking about himself and not taking Jongin’s feelings into account. 

“I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo croaks, his voice heavy with guilt. Jongin looks blurry to him and he doesn’t realize why.

“No, no, no.” Jongin pleads at him and embraces him for the first time after a week of no skin contact. “Please don’t cry. Shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

Kyungsoo sobs and sobs until he can’t anymore, his heart a little lighter compared to before.

“I’m sorry,” Kyungsoo starts again after crying his heart out.

“It’s okay,” Jongin comforts him.

“It’s just I couldn’t bear seeing you with anyone else in an intimate way,” Kyungsoo confesses. “I understand it was just an act, I mean I know there was nothing in the kiss but…but I just couldn’t take it.” Kyungsoo’s voice broke a little at the end, he feels the heavy stone lodge at his heart again as he recalls the kiss scene.

Jongin embraces him tightly and kisses the crown of his head, “It’s okay, it’s perfectly fine and humane of you. We can’t control these things, anyway. And I’m glad you were jealous, if not, there might be something wrong with you. I mean, won’t you get mad if someone stole this piece of hunk right here?”

Kyungsoo chuckles, bringing warmth to Jongin’s constricting heart. “You’re such a narcissist.”

Jongin gazes down lovingly at Kyungsoo, “I am but at least I know my ego brings a smile to your face.”

Kyungsoo blushes a pretty red. “So much cheese.”

Jongin laughs that deep joyful sound, “Just for you, my love.”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo wrinkles his nose and shuts Jongin up with a kiss on the lips.

------Fin.------

(“Hyung,” Sehun mumbles to Lu Han. “Don’t you think this is invading their privacy?”

“Awww, is our Sehunie blushing?” The older teases.

“No, I’m not!” The maknae squeaks in embarrassment.

“Hahaha, it’s okay, Sehunie,” Lu Han winks. “They won’t know. Besides,” He continues, “it’s not our fault they’re having a date at the same time we’re having a date, which also happens to be at the same venue.”

Sehun sighs. “Quit lying. You just want to watch the drama.”

Lu Han pouts, he’s been busted. “Can’t I?”

Sehun just resigns and lets him do whatever he wants. “Fine, your call.”

“Hehe,” The older giggles despite his age. “I love you.” Lu Han gives Sehun a peck on the lips.

“Yeah, yeah.”)

Author's Note: